Greatest Distraction (Distracted #1) (3 page)

“Anyway, I really wish you were single
… then we could go out,” he stated, breaking the quiet.

“Yeah
…” I wished I had something better to say, but I didn’t. What do you say to that? That a part of you wishes that too? That, at the same time, a part of you wants to rage at you, asshole, for breaking your heart?

“Um
… so … it’s good to see you. My number changed,” he tried again, his constant gaze on me unnerving.

“Oh, mine did too,” I answered. I needed to get out of here, away from him. No good would come of me giving him my number, or taking his, which
even in my sick stupor I could tell was what he wanted – he was looking around the front seat of his car, like he was searching for something to write on.

“Okay! Well, I’ll see you around,” I told him, taking a few steps toward the store, hoping, no, praying
, for an end to this very awkward meeting.

“You too.” His voice was wistful, slightly sad, as
he put his car in drive and pulled away. I could feel his eyes on me as I crossed the street and to the store. My body obviously felt it too, moving to sway my ass slightly, which was completely unlike me.

I didn’t realize I was shaking until the artificial brightness of the grocery store fell on me. Adrenaline I hadn’t even noticed was draining out of me, leaving me to feel weak and sick
… weaker and sicker than when I’d left the house.

I needed to talk to someone, needed to share the random fucked-up-
ness that had just happened to me, before I exploded. I wanted to talk to Elle, but if I waited until I got home to chat about it online, my words and what just happened would be cemented in writing. I definitely didn’t want that. Same with texting…

Decision made, I dropped my bottomless
-pit purse into my cart, and fished out my phone. Finding her number, I pressed ‘call’ and held my breath as I waited for her to answer. I knew that her husband was out of town and she had both kids alone, but I prayed she’d have a couple seconds to talk to me.

“Hey
, baby girl!”

“Hey! Listen
… do you have a minute to talk?” I all but begged into the phone, pleased that I didn’t hear the usual chorus of ‘Mommy’ in the background. Maybe I had a chance!

“Of course! What’s up
?”

“You’ll never believe what just happened to me…”

After telling Elle the entire story, I stopped walking, my cart almost continuing on without me until I remembered to grab it.

“You still there?” I asked, the silence coming from her end of the phone loud.

“Shit, Ry, only you…” her voice trailed off and I had to laugh. She was right: these kinds of things could only happen to me. I couldn’t make this crap up!

I sighed as I began pushing the cart again, leaning on it like it would hold me upright. Neither of us said anything for several moments, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I started and let out a surprised yip when Elle’s voice came back over the line.

“So … what are you going to do?” she asked, chuckling at my surprise.

“About what?” I questioned, confused.

“About Aaron,” she said, her voice carrying a ‘duh’ undertone to it.

I cringed at the sound of his name. Damn! Had she needed to say it aloud? It wasn’t something I was likely to forget, but one could hope, right?

Memories started to intrude, reminding me of the good times we’d shared before everything went sour. The baseball game was the first to come to my mind. It was my first-ever Major League game and our seats were right behind home plate. We could see everything from those seats and we cheered when our team was up to bat, booing when they weren’t.

We’d stayed after the game to watch the concert, a country star rocking out about not dealing with baggage. He’d been awesome and held me, whispering how any baggage I could ever have would never turn him away from me. I’d savored that moment, the amazing peace and comfort I’d found in his arms. I’d been flat
-out, one-hundred-percent content with the world that night. It was then I knew I was in love with him … Of course, I didn’t know it was all fake on his side, just like the meat in the hotdogs from the stadium.

Shaking my head, I dispelled my thoughts before they continued on the path they were heading. I refused to go there, to get pulled back into the nightmare that took me so long to get out of.

“Geez, Elle,” I said, sounding winded, even to myself. “Cut my heart out, will you? You know the rules.”

“Oh
Ry, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. ” Hearing Elle feel bad made me feel bad for making her feel bad.
Sigh.

“
S’okay. Anyway, I plan on doing nothing. Not a thing. Zip, zilch, nada. Besides, I’m with Chris –”

“That low-life piece of garbage? When are you going to cut him loose? Jesus, girl, the only thing he thinks about are
animans and co-play-something’s.”

“Err
… anime and cosplays,” I corrected her without thinking.

“I don’t even want to know how you know that,” she retorted and I felt my face warm. Ugh, how
did
I know that? “Seriously though, I know he’s good looking and all, plus he’s loaded, but ... can you really see a future between you? An
anime
wedding or something?”

I ignored her sarcasm
. After all, she’d learned it from me. “No, I can’t,” I answered honestly, unable to lie to my best friend.

Elle and I had met
in high school, and originally hated each other. One day, we’d discovered that we both had a love for the same books … We’d fought over book boyfriends and been inseparable since. Different as night and day, she was light where I was dark. Her blonde hair, now cut in a sleek bob, was a direct contrast to my dark mop. Her eyes were so blue, they looked like silver crystals when she was excited or angry. When we’d go out, her eyes attracted immediate attention, boys flocking straight to her. I had no illusions of grandeur when it came to the two of us – Elle was the looks, I was the humor.

Don’t get me
wrong, when I wasn’t sick and gross, I wasn’t exactly homely. I knew I was decent, happy to share the same fit physique as Elle – which totally came in handy when I stole, err … borrowed … her clothes. My hair was usually curled to frame my face, accentuating large brown eyes. I hated my eyes, always seeming too big for my face, but I’d long since accepted them.

Unfortunately
… okay, good for her, but bad for me … Mister Right, also named Nick, came along and swept my friend off her feet. Not long after, she found out she was pregnant … with twins. Deep down, I really
am
happy for her; I may even be slightly jealous, not that I’d ever tell her that.

“
Ryen?” she asked, snapping me out of my space program. “Are you okay?”

“Um…
yeah,” I told her, ignoring the unspoken words in her question.
Are you going to fall apart? Do you need me? Can you handle this renewed hurt?

“You know I’m here for you, baby girl.” Her voice was soft, gentle, soothing, and completely doubting my assurances.

“Yep, I know.”

“That’ll be seventy-four twenty-two,” the cashier said, surprising me. I hadn’t realized I’d gone through the checkout line, my brain obviously moving on autopilot. Seventy-four dollars! What the
hell?! I’d only come for milk so I could have a bowl of cereal.

“What did you buy
?!” Elle exclaimed, still on the line and obviously hearing the cashier. “I thought you were there for milk.”

“I
was
,” I told her, sighing again as I handed Tommy, according to his name tag, my debit card. “Apparently I wasn’t paying attention. I’d better go before I give the bag boy my car as a tip.”
My friend laughed before hanging up, promising to check up on me later. Dropping my phone in my bag, I gratefully accepted the bagger’s proffered help to my car.

Completely worn out
and exhausted, I slipped into my car and made my way home, all the while plagued by the question of what the hell I’d bought.

Chapter Three
 

I may have lied a little to my best friend. Well, maybe
lie
is a harsh word. ‘Fib’ may suit the situation better, but regardless of how pretty I wrap it, I still lied. I wasn’t okay. I was sick, lonely, frustrated, and now, very, very depressed.

Why today, of all days, did I have to run into …
him.
The big guy upstairs certainly had a sense of humor if this was his idea of a joke. That man … gah.

Melancholy, and because, like I said before, I’m an emotional cutter, I sat on the floor looking at old photos. My back rested against the couch, the television on for background noise, and a full box of tissues along with a fresh bottle of Nyquil sat beside me. The tissues were for my ever-running nose
, courtesy of the big, fat tears that had fallen from my eyes. Nope, I wasn’t crying. Well … anymore, at least.

The faces of strangers stared back at me from the glossy paper in my fingers.
Me, or a girl who looked like me, but better, happier, stood close to a handsome man, his smile huge as the picture was clicked. I stared at the girl I used to be, my hair styled to look flawless, shiny, every strand in its place. I’d worn makeup that day, my eyes smoky and lips red.  Happy. She was definitely happy.

How long had it been since I was that happy? We’d spent the day at the aquarium, running around like silly children as we joked about the sea creatures we saw there. We compared ourselves to them, which ones most resembled each other, laughing until reduced to giggling messes. Stopping at the eel tank, he’d joked that one of the flotsam creatures must’ve been related to his Uncle Jonah, because their faces were identical. I’d snorted, promptly slapping my hand over my mouth to cover the sound. It had been too late, and his eyes had grown wide as he propped himself against the wall, holding his stomach as he tried not to laugh at me.

Me being me, I’d thrown the souvenir whale plush toy he’d won me in the claw machine, its tail fin slapping him in the face. Shock, humor, and half-felt horror lit his face, and I’d giggled, running as he snatched it from the ground and chased me down the aquarium-walled hallway. I still didn’t know who, but one of us tripped, and we tumbled, landing in an awkward mess on the carpeted floor, other attendees staring at us like we’d lost our marbles. Neither of us cared, though, and he’d wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly against him, his warmth seeping into me.

What a day that had been
,
I thought, blinking rapidly as my eyes leaked once more. I tried to keep them from falling, but I was unsuccessful, a large droplet plopping loudly onto the photo. It had been the last day we’d been together as a couple, the last day that any laughs were shared, or any loving touches. That day, the world had been at my feet, a glimpse of the possibility of more in my heart. I found him in bed with someone else that night.

Ugh. I hated that I was robbed the emotion of hate toward that home-wrecking slut. Okay, so I still hated her, even if I knew it wasn’t right, but it wasn’t really her fault. I’d shown up at his duplex planning on surprising him with a bottle of wine and an action flick on DVD.  Sparing no second thought to the tan BMW in the driveway, I’d knocked loudly, fidgeting as I waited for the door to open. When it did, though, I was unprepared for the vision that assaulted me.