Grown-up (9 page)

Ben had an interesting method of changing clothes. Like a shy kid in the locker room, he kept his shirt on as he took off his pants and underwear, allowing the shirttails to hide most of the view. Austin got a nice look at his legs, though. They were more muscular than he would have guessed, with a dusting of dark blond hairs.

After pulling on the red briefs, Ben struggled a bit to fit into the black jeans. “These are really tight!” he protested.

“That’s the point.”

“How could anyone dance in these things? I can barely walk.”

Austin pointed at him. “You should just be relieved we’re not going to a leather bar.”

Grumbling to himself, Ben took off his shirt. Oh my. He exceeded Austin’s expectations. He was thin but not too skinny, with some nice definition to his abs and more sandy hairs sprinkled over his pale skin. Austin didn’t get to admire him for long because Ben quickly pulled on the gray-and-black-striped tee Austin had bought. It fit him perfectly.

“I look like an idiot,” Ben said mournfully.

“You look fabulous. Here. Let me fix your sleeves.” Ben seemed to quiver slightly as Austin folded the short sleeves up, revealing more of Ben’s wiry biceps and triceps. When he was done, Austin mussed Ben’s hair. “And now let me deal with this.”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“Nothing permanent, I promise. Sit, okay?” Austin dragged him to an ottoman before gently pressing on his shoulders. Ben sat.

In addition to clothing, Austin had brought a bag of supplies. He hummed happily as he applied various products to Ben’s short hair.

“Maybe you should be a hairdresser instead of a salesclerk,” Ben said after a while.

Austin moved a few strands slightly to the left. “Too clichéd. Besides, I can’t be trusted with scissors.”

He fussed for quite some time before he was satisfied, but Ben sat with surprising patience. At last Austin took a few steps back and nodded. “Yes. I think we’ve got it. Come see.”

Ben plodded slowly to his bedroom, Austin trailing in his wake. The bedroom was as tidy as the living room, and as devoid of color. A gray duvet covered the queen-sized bed. The artsy photos on the wall were tasteful male nudes instead of the architectural shapes and landscapes that decorated the living room. The only sign of disorder was an uneven pile of books on one nightstand. It reminded Austin of that momentary reading-in-bed fantasy he’d entertained a few weeks ago.

But before Austin had a chance to see what Ben was reading, Ben parked himself in front of a full-length mirror and groaned. “Oh my God.”

“What?” Austin asked, flying to his side.

“I look so stupid.”

Austin tried to examine him as objectively as possible. The clothing was a perfect fit—tight but not too flashy. Ben had a nice ass, which his khakis did not do justice. Wearing a T-shirt and with his hair artfully arranged, he looked much younger. And the glasses only added to his appeal.

“Oh my God,” Austin said, his voice deeper than normal and a little hoarse.

Ben caught Austin’s gaze in the mirror, and then Ben’s eyes widened and his back stiffened. He made a small sound.

“We should go,” Austin rasped.

Ben nodded mutely.

They took Austin’s car, which he’d taken to the car wash for the occasion. The attendants there had clearly wondered why he was bothering, and Austin was a little afraid the thing would just fall apart once the dirt was no longer holding it together. But Ben didn’t complain and the car made it to JayJay’s without dying, so Austin called it a success.

Ben dragged his feet once they were out of the car. He was wearing a pair of boring black sneakers. Austin should have thought to get him something fancier.

“This is a bad idea,” Ben said.

“It’s my best idea ever, and I promise you’ll survive the night.”

Randy, Colton, and a couple of other guys waited for them outside the door. Their bright gazes focused on Ben as he and Austin approached. Austin conducted a brief round of introductions, then led the way inside.

Ben entered the club the way a goldfish might enter a tank of sharks, and it was probably only the pressure of Colton behind him that kept him moving. Some of the guys headed straight for the dance floor, but Austin seated Ben at a table, sternly instructed Randy to keep him company, then made his way to the bar. The bartender knew Austin and thought he was kidding when he ordered a beer and a Coke, but Austin was serious. He was tonight’s designated driver. He’d actually considered buying Ben something stronger, but he’d never seen the guy drink any alcohol and wasn’t sure of his tolerance. He didn’t want to get Ben wasted, just relaxed.

Ben did not look especially relaxed when Austin joined him at the table. He grabbed the beer and had a quick chug.

“Want me to go back and get you something?” Austin asked Randy.

“Nah. You know I like to talk to Ty myself.” Ty was one of the bartenders. He was smoking hot, and Randy had lusted after him for ages without ever managing to get in his pants.

“So what do you think, Benny?” Austin waved his arm. “Not too scary, is it?”

“It’s fine. Not my favorite music, though.”

“Yeah, but it’s good to dance to.”

At the mention of dancing, Ben looked slightly stricken. “Um, where’s the bathroom?”

Randy pointed. “Off that way.”

“Thanks. Be right back.”

Austin considered warning him that he was apt to find a little more activity than he expected in the men’s room, but then he just let Ben go. The guy was no fainting virgin. He wouldn’t succumb to a fit of the vapors if he walked in on a blowjob or two.

Randy and Austin watched him walk away, and then Randy turned to Austin. “Your new friend’s kinda quiet.”

“I suppose so. But, um, what do you think of him?”

Randy twitched his shoulders. “He’s all right.”

“Just all right?”

“He’s cute, I guess. Not my type.”

Just cute? As Austin followed Ben’s retreating form, he wanted to protest that Ben was a lot more than cute or all right. He was gorgeous. He was special. He was—

Oh, fuck.

“Oz? You okay?”

When Austin only opened and shut his mouth like a dying fish, Randy looked concerned. “You okay, dude? Somebody slip something in your Coke?”

“I…. No.” Austin swallowed thickly. It was just another goddamn epiphany, that was all. The things were like a fucking plague lately. He shook his head. “I just thought of something.”

“Shouldn’t do that. Might strain something.” Randy stood and patted Austin’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go seduce Ty.”

Austin was alone at the table for a few minutes. The music blared and the lights flashed, but the club was library-calm compared to what was going on inside his head. He barely even noticed when Ben returned, sat opposite him, and picked up his beer. “I thought you’d be dancing,” Ben said. He didn’t look overly scandalized by whatever he’d witnessed in the john.

“I was waiting for you.” Five goddamn words ringing out like a voice from on high. Shit. Fuck. Shit fuck shit fuck.

But apparently Ben didn’t notice the sentence’s potentially deeper meaning. “Oh. Well… you can go now.”

“I thought… I thought maybe you’d dance with me.” It was a crappy idea. Knowing what he did, Austin had no business getting that close to Ben. But he doubted Ben would dance at all otherwise, and Austin had promised a night of youthful abandon, dammit.

Ben gave him a long look. “I think I’ll need another beer first.”

Austin could have used five or six drinks himself. But all he had was another Coke as he sat at the table with Ben, watching Ben watch the other men. If Ben’s gaze stayed on any particular man for any length of time, Austin couldn’t discern it. Which should not have made him feel so relieved.

“I think I can face it now,” Ben said as he polished off his bottle. He stood, but his shoulders were tense.

“Not a torture chamber,” Austin told him as he took Ben’s hand, although in truth, Austin was also reminding himself. He felt his own particular torture at the moment. He might have been acting more adult lately, but apparently he’d not yet been gifted with mature wisdom, especially when it came to falling for a friend. Still, dancing needed to be part of Ben’s carefree evening.

Due to the weeknight, the dance floor was only moderately crowded, and Austin led them to a spot where they’d have a little elbow room. He discovered almost immediately that Ben was a terrible dancer. The poor guy moved his arms and legs in a spastic white-guy shuffle, his face registering full awareness of how awkward he was. “See?” he shouted over the pounding beat.

But the thing was, even with his arms flailing and his legs moving choppily, he was the most beautiful man in JayJay’s.

Swearing at himself under his breath, Austin stepped closer and gathered Ben in his arms. “Let’s pretend we’re at the prom,” he said into Ben’s ear.

“I never went to the prom.”

“Well, then. Now’s your chance.” God, Ben felt good against him. Solid and warm and sized just right for an embrace. He was a couple of inches taller than Austin, which was nice. And he smelled good, like wood shavings and spices.

“This isn’t a slow-dance song.”

“So what? Just let me lead.”

Ben acquiesced. Austin wasn’t a spectacular dancer either, actually, but he could move his body in time to the music, and he could get Ben moving correctly too. They pressed tightly together, hands on each other’s lower backs, and they swayed and rocked. After a song or two, Austin felt the tension melt from Ben’s body and grinned against his shoulder when Ben’s hands drifted farther south. It didn’t matter how silly they looked—this
felt
good.

“Hey!”

Austin landed back on earth when someone poked his shoulder. He and Ben stopped dancing, and Austin pulled slightly away. “Oh,” he said to Pax, who was grinning at them. “Hi.”

“Heya. New dance craze?”

“Something like that.” Austin watched as Pax’s gaze flicked to Ben and back, but he didn’t introduce them.

“Whatever. So… ya wanna?” Pax waved toward the bathroom.

“I’m with him right now.”

Pax shrugged. “He can come with.”

For no rational reason, Austin wanted to punch him in the face. Instead he clenched his hands into fists. “We’re not interested, Pax.”

If Pax noticed Austin’s anger, he didn’t react to it. “’Kay. I’ll be around if you change your mind.” Without saying anything to Ben, he moved away.

Before Austin could grab Ben again—assuming Ben would allow it—the song ended. Ben lifted his chin. “I’m going to sit this one out, Austin.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll get you—”

“You keep dancing. I don’t need a babysitter.” Ben turned on his heel and walked quickly away.

Chasing after him would be stupid and undignified. But Austin watched him until a new song started and dancers obscured his view. He danced with a few guys after that—Colton, Randy, a couple of other pals. And just when he was going to break away to find Ben, he caught sight of him not too far away, squirming with a cute blond twink. The blond and Ben looked like they were laughing together.

Austin’s gut clenched so painfully hard that for a crazy second he thought he’d been shot. But then he realized he was actually being attacked by an unfamiliar emotion: jealousy. His jaw clenched and his heart lurched, and he generally felt like microwaved shit.

He retreated from the dance floor and headed to the bar. Fuck it. He could have one goddamn drink.

Someone caught his arm before he reached the bar. He swung around, prepared to tell the someone to take a hike, but froze when he saw it was Ben. “Hey,” Ben said. “I was hoping I’d get one last turn with you.”

“You don’t need me. You were doing fine with that twink.”

“He was sweet. But not as fun as you.” Ben had one of those unreadable expressions on his face, and his eyes were glittery and intense behind his glasses.

Austin took a deep breath. “Okay.”

They pressed close again, but something had changed between them. They didn’t just dance—they rubbed and caressed and generally acted in ways that would have gotten them kicked out of the prom. When they kissed, it felt like a perfectly natural development, and oh God, it felt good. Austin hadn’t kissed like this in a long time. And when he dimly realized that he was grinding his aching cock against the hard length in Ben’s tight jeans, well, that felt good too. Really good.

Which was why Austin reached something that wasn’t an epiphany, thank God, but did sort of rock his world.

He brought his mouth close to Ben’s ear. “Let’s go back to your place.”

Ben just nodded.

They were out the door and hurrying to Austin’s car within seconds. “What about your friends?” Ben asked as he got into the passenger seat.

“What about them?”

“Don’t you need to tell them you’re leaving?”

Austin turned the ignition key. “Nah. We have an understanding. We just take off if we hoo—” He stopped himself with a wince. “If we want to leave with someone else.”

“Oh.”

There might have been a world of meaning in that syllable, but Austin couldn’t decipher it. He pulled out of the lot and onto the street.

They didn’t talk much as they drove. Ben played with the radio, which didn’t work very well, and stared out his window. Austin chewed his lip until it was nearly raw.

It seemed to take forever to reach Ben’s little bungalow, but finally they were standing awkwardly in the living room. “You can go back to JayJay’s now if you want to,” Ben said.

“I don’t…. Why would I do that?”

“That tall guy. The one who wanted to have sex with you in the bathroom.”

Austin felt himself flush. “That’s Pax. And we… I don’t want to have sex with Pax.”

“But you have.”

Austin wasn’t about to lie, even if he felt an odd embarrassment over the admission. “Yeah. But tonight I’d rather be with you.” Tonight and any night—but he didn’t say that.

Ben nodded slowly, as if he were reaching a decision. “All right. If you really do want that… stay.”

Austin’s throat felt tight, but he smiled. “Thank you.”

After a brief pause, Ben turned and walked to his bedroom. He didn’t say anything and didn’t look back, but Austin followed him, and when they were both inside, they stood by the bed. “I’m… out of practice,” Ben said.