Halfskin (31 page)

Authors: Tony Bertauski

BOOK: Halfskin

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“What kind of favors?”

“You got to understand, becoming nixed halfskin is expensive. We could flip burgers for twenty years and not have enough money. I did what I had to do.”

“What kind of favors?”

Blondie knows what kind of favors. She’s working off debt, too. That’s why she’s answering a back-alley door and serving drinks while everyone else is having a good time. Does she even know what she looks like when she opens that door? Would she love this music if she stepped outside?

Does she ever leave?

Jamie knows what kind of services indebted halfskins do. If you can’t pay, you puppet. You deliver things. You do things.

And you like it.

As long as you never leave, you will like the things you do to people. And the things they do to you.

Charlie grabs her sleeve. “I won’t let them hurt you.”

“I got to think about this, Charlie.”

“There’s nothing to think about. They promised me you won’t get hurt.”

“Can you stop them?”

“Just…come on, Jamie. We don’t have a choice. We already wasted our lives—we’re tapped out. We got to go halfskin to be right again. Once we’re paid up, we’ll be good. We’ll be right. You know that. You saw how I changed.”

“They’ll hurt me, Charlie. They’ll hurt you.”

“But I can’t…I can’t go back, babe. It’s too late. I’m already there.”

“I know.”

He tries to say more, tries to promise everything will be all right, but nothing comes out. He can’t protect her.

Maybe it’s worth it. Maybe having everything she wants and feeling how she wants to feel and not caring about shit music is the way to happiness. Maybe she just needs to sell her soul while it’s still worth something.

She gets out of the booth. She doesn’t know where the exit is, but she’ll look for it all night if that’s what it takes. Right now she just needs to be in her own head, experience her own field, think this through. She was sure she wanted this, but now…

“You can’t leave.” Charlie grabs her wrist, pries her fingers open. He pushes the pill into her palm. “This is a one-time shot, babe. You leave and you don’t get another. That pill won’t activate outside the club.”

“I got to think about it, Charlie.”

“There’s nothing to think about!” His smile falters. Finally, a sign of the real Charlie shines, not that fake happy smile. He’s still in there. He needs her. And she needs him.

She rolls the heavy pill between finger and thumb, the surface smooth and cold. She knows he’s right. Where will she go if she leaves? What’s out there can’t be worse than this pill. There’s nothing outside that door but her life.

This can’t get worse.

She closes her eyes and throws the pill in her mouth. An aluminum flavor coats her tongue, leaves a metallic trail down her esophagus. It lands in her stomach.

He holds out his hand. “I promise.”

And those are his last words.

The normal-looking guy at the bar, the one leaning on his elbows and hating the music, the one staring at her, starts walking. He looks like he’s coming toward her but turns for the dance floor without a bounce in his step. He lifts both arms above his head. The music slurs.

The lights dim.

Gray walls appear out of nowhere. The ceiling transforms into rusted rafters with harsh fluorescent lighting.

Silence falls.

In the moments before the partygoers drop, before the floor is littered with bodies, Jamie looks back. Charlie is clutching the table. He feels something winding down, turning off. The whites show around his beautiful blue eyes before they turn gray—

He slumps to the floor.

They all do.

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