Halton Cray (Shadows of the World Book 1) (23 page)

‘He’s been here before. Perhaps you’ve seen him. –
Alex, come for a walk in the gardens, the sun’s just setting.’

We strolled along the river, passing the Rose
Garden until the bordering hedgerow obscured the ground floor of the house. He
was quiet. It wasn’t unusual. He often fell into deep thought when we were
alone together.

‘Here – sit beside me on this bench,’ he said,
stopping at an arbour; an archway cut in the tall hedgerow.

I did. We had a close view of the river. The descending
sun was just visible through the weeping willows beyond Westleigh Bridge. It
was surprising we could sit there undisturbed by the great gaggle of geese
nearby.

‘Alex, you’re shivering. Take my coat.’ He placed
it about my shoulders.

I thanked him and, feeling brave, shuffled myself
up to him in this secluded spot. He smiled and put his arm round me, before
looking over to the sinking sun. My mind wandered as I watched the geese
hooting and raucously squabbling amongst themselves.

‘Do you believe in reincarnation?’ I asked him. To
which he replied after a moment’s pause, and quite seriously, that he did not.

‘Why not?’

He didn’t answer. I’d found the best way to handle
it when he did that. I went on regardless –

‘It’s believed by some, I read somewhere, that
we’re reincarnated as geese.’

‘Impossible.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you’d be a swan,’ he said playfully.

‘I’d rather be a goose. Swans are so much more
aggressive.’

‘Exactly!’ He laughed, before his mouth fell into
a straight line, smoothing away his adorable dimples. ‘I’ve read that rubbish
too – about reincarnation. Why did you bring that up?’

‘Because it’s said that geese have so many human
traits. They bicker amongst themselves, and–’

‘
And
’ – he gave me a sidelong glance – ‘they
mate with one partner for life. Come on,’ he said, changing the mood and
getting up. He walked towards the river. I followed and we strolled to the
bridge. Clouds blotted out the last rays of the sun in the wintry afternoon.
The lamps flickered on for dusk. Under their bright yellow lights, I felt so
silly as I remembered thinking once I couldn’t see his shadow, and then I did
see it. And there it was next to mine.

‘What are you smiling at?’ he asked. I didn’t
realise I was, or that his striking eyes were on me. ‘Don’t shake your head.
Out with it!’

‘It’s nothing,’ I said reflexively. ‘I was
laughing at myself.’

‘And you’re going to deprive me of that?’

He would not move a step until I confessed what it
was.

‘Okay. Just remember that I’m only human! As much
as I can’t stand idle talk, it turns out I am as impressionable as the next.
But I hope I’ve learnt my lesson.’

He stiffened; his face tensed. ‘You’re not like
them,’ he said seriously. ‘I’ve always found gossiping a most abhorrent trait
and common amongst the weak-minded. But weaker is the mind that makes decisions
based on the prattle of another!’ He cut off with slight resentment, and after
a pause re-joined, ‘For the first time I’m seeing it differently. Perhaps the
scandalmongers have their uses after all.’

‘How’s that?’

‘Through them it’s easier to learn the
characteristics of those you’ve not yet entangled yourself with, before you’ve
given too much of yourself away, where they can then do real harm. And you can
distance yourself if need be, and by their following treatment of you, you can
determine if you were right to do so.’

‘That sounds intense, Thom, to walk around being
so guarded. But you haven’t exactly kept a distance from me, when you know I’ve
heard things and reacted. So what opinion have you formed of
me
through
this?’

‘That despite being barking mad you are worth that
risk of knowing me better. You’re not as fainthearted as you look, but then mad
people never are! Even now, I can see the questions mounting in the whites of
your eyes. I think you’re ready.’

‘Ready?’

‘To learn for yourself.’

‘Learn what?’

‘Whether or not the foundations of the rumours are
true!’ His eyes widened.

‘You’re teasing me again, Thom.’

‘Have I cried wolf too often?’

‘I’m not playing this game again. I refuse to talk
your nonsense.’

‘If you did talk nonsense, Alex, it would be in
such a serious tone I would mistake what you said for good sense. Come on,
Cassandra, it’s confession time. Shall we trade?’

‘Trade confessions?’

‘Yes. You were saying how idle talk has influenced
you. Well?’

I took a moment. ‘It made me see things.’

‘What things?’

‘What do I get from you if I confess it?’

‘Confirmation or a contradiction,’ he answered.

‘But I don’t need either. I can see how I invented
what I saw, subconsciously that is, probably because of hearing gossip.’ – He
slowly shook his head. – ‘Oh, fine! If you want the truth, Thom, I thought at
one point you had no shadow. Obviously you do’ – I pointed to it – ‘and I
am
nuts!’

He didn’t look surprised. He only grinned.

‘But isn’t that ridiculous?’ I went on. ‘That I
only thought I saw things because of what I’d heard. I don’t like what they say,
when they treat you and talk about you like you’re some kind of–’

‘Evil spirit?’ His eyes narrowed. Black flames
danced in those obsidian discs under the lamplight, and a brooding crescent
touched his mouth. He was enjoying this.

‘I’m so very careful,’ he said, suppressing a
menacing grin, ‘to hide my dark powers.’

‘You admit it then?’ I giggled.

‘Of course!’ he answered quickly, too quickly –
clearly provoked by something. ‘I was born on the grave of a jackal, under a
full blood-soaked moon!’

I exhaled. ‘Be serious for once.’

He looked uneasy. Whatever weighed on his mind now
affected his willingness to speak. I let it pass without pressing him further. I
had no idea how long we’d been out. I guessed it must have been the end of my
break and I mentioned, reluctantly, having to go back. We headed towards the
house where the backside of the half-light already resembled night. As we
passed the Rose Garden, Evans came round the side of the house, probably
looking for me. She glanced at us and I detected a slight shake of her head and
recoil in her posture. She quickly went back the way she came.

Thom noticed her and his eyes went back to the
huge moon, which appeared round the rooftop. It was full and stiff; not a cloud
sailed her. He gritted his teeth.

‘Sure,’ he said bitterly, ‘all the lunatics are
out tonight!’ He looked to me, a smile softening his lips. ‘Well, the real
McCoy’s anyway. She’s like a trained bloodhound.’

‘I don’t know what her problem is.’

‘That I can’t tell you. Not now at any rate. Cheer
me up!’ he said suddenly. ‘What else did you see, or think you saw when I
appeared to be of no substance?’

I shrugged.

‘There’s more isn’t there?’ He grinned. ‘Tell me
what you saw, Cassandra, and I promise to believe you. – Well, what are you
afraid of? I already know you’re a cracker. So what else?’

‘I don’t want to say anything more on that
subject.’

‘Why on earth not?’

‘Because I think it bothers you. I don’t want to
upset you with all that nonsense.’

‘Come on, Alex! You know I’m prone to my dark
moments. It doesn’t have a damn thing to do with anything you’ve said.’ He cast
a look towards the house, and spoke gravely. ‘I want to hear more, and I swear
if you don’t tell me I’ll start to think that you’re just afraid to.’

I looked at his face in the moonlight, but said
nothing.

‘Well are you, afraid that is? You can’t handle
it? Do you fear me?’

‘None of the above!’ I insisted, staring into his
eyes and edging nearer.

‘
You
!’ he said, almost laughing. ‘You
astounding, mad little thing! Tell me!’

‘Tell you what? That when I first started here I
watched you spinning a ball, and later the pen, effortlessly around your hand
and wrist. It fascinated me! Partly I think because it looked as though you did
it without even touching them. There! Satisfied? It reminded me of a time I
watched you walking in the gardens, and I thought I saw you with… well… not
quite with your feet on the ground.’

‘Are you speaking metaphorically or insanely?’

‘Insanely.’

‘That’s what I thought.’ He smirked, tucking a
loose strand of my hair behind my ear. ‘This would be the place for it.’

‘I’m speaking quite literally, actually. That
is
what I thought I saw. Commit me if you like!’

‘Ha! They wouldn’t have you!’ He raised his
eyebrows. ‘You’re far too dangerous and deranged, even for the men in white
coats. So, levitating? You think I’ve some resistance to gravity. Hmm… since
we’ve established that I sometimes have no shadow’ – he was now laughing – ‘I’m
guessing, correct me if I’m wrong, I’ve no heartbeat, no reflection, no breath.
Why, there’s really no evidence that I’m standing here at all! Just a figment
of your imagination.’

And, I said inwardly, if he was just a figment of
my imagination, my imagination is too good to me.

Despite wearing Thom’s coat over my own, I still
shook, but it wasn’t from the cold. He seemed quite aware of my feelings and
yet was so careful not to take it beyond friendship. I started to wonder how
long this would last. Did he like me? If it wasn’t going to happen, I’d rather
know now. Before I knew it, I was involuntarily asking –

‘Do you have a girlfriend, Thom?’ I took an extra
breath. ‘Tell me honestly.’

He looked puzzled, then sympathetic. ‘She might
not say so.’ – My stomach fell half a foot. – ‘But in my eyes, Alex, yes. She’s
mine and I’m hers. You’d like her,’ he said confidently. ‘You would, if you met
her as a stranger in the street. You’d feel like you’d known her forever, as I
do.’

I had to turn my head away to hide a sting of
jealousy.

‘She can be a tough cookie though,’ he re-joined
after a pause, grinning. ‘Sometimes I’m not sure how to handle her. Whether to
smother her with kisses or wrestle her like a tigress. You’re wondering if
she’s pretty, Alex? Well, that would be an understatement. To label her as
pretty would be like saying the aurora borealis was merely okay. And what else?
Is she clever, funny and friendly? She is all of these things and more! She’s
about this tall’ – he measured my height with his hand – ‘or
short
, I
should say; and has an audacity that wants chastising out of her. She’s well
suited to me, given that she’s round the twist.’ He circled his temple with his
index finger. ‘Only a madwoman could put up with me.’

He stopped and turned to me as we reached the
alley to the main courtyard.

‘I’m not pretty,’ escaped me in a whisper.

‘You are to me, Alex.’

I knew he might make a move while we stood in the
dim-lit tunnel. I became so nervous at this thought I began chatting stupidly
to the point of moaning, mainly about helping Adrian with his packing next
week.

He just stood there listening and looking at me
with a patient simper.

‘–So I decided to book the whole week off,’ I
rambled on, ‘although shopping in London isn’t really my thing.’ As I finished
my rant, I quickly gave him back his coat – nervousness made me agile – and I
went to open the door. He stopped me.

‘I won’t see you until the following week, then? But,
Alex, do you have enough money?’ He automatically took out his wallet as I
frowned in shock and confusion. ‘You can’t go shopping in the West End on
your
salary.’ He chuckled.

‘There’s no need for that, but thank you.’ I
pushed his hand away, which already encompassed a handful of notes. ‘That’s
kind, but really, it’s fine.’

The door swung open behind me. It caught me off
guard, though as usual Thom seemed to expect it.

Evans didn’t look at us. ‘You’re late,’ she
muttered.

I followed her through the doorway, giving Thom
one last glancing smile. At the end of my shift, Evans walked me to the front
door with the excuse of having a quick smoke. I wanted to go and see Thom
before I left, but she was not going to make that possible. She even came with
me halfway to the gates, making chitchat about various insignificant things. Returning
to the Cray seemed more than a week away. I had a strange feeling as I looked
back to that big old house. Something felt too perfect in all this. The water
too relaxed left me suspecting a wayward current from far beneath, where it was
building strength.

Evans waved her hand to shoo me on, and watched me
from the pathway until I entered the car park. I had an idea she would remain
there in case I went back. I knew I would have to wait until the following week
before I saw him again. I beeped off the jeep’s central locking. As I went to
open the door, it beeped back on of its own accord. Locked again. I beeped it
off. It beeped back on. I heard his laugh behind me. A thrill raced through me.

‘Did you do that?’

He sauntered towards me, stopping a few paces
away.

‘How did you–’

He just smiled. ‘You’re going without saying
goodbye?’

‘I didn’t really have a choice.’

‘You always have a choice.’ He began to look
serious. ‘Before you go, Alex, there’s something I want to–’ He stared
silently, then moved, and in three strides reached me. My breath caught in my
throat as he took hold of my arms and wound them round the column of his neck.
He lifted me effortlessly by the waist and set me down, my feet on top of his. With
one hand, he stroked my face, and with his other, he pulled me in closer. I’d
wanted this for so long it was unexpected. He examined my eyes closely and then
stared at my mouth, before pressing his lips firmly to mine. Holding there a
moment, he inhaled deeply. It felt like he was drawing in all of my scent, all
of my senses with it. A gentle tingle fell down the back of my legs as he began
moving his lips slowly over mine, edging them apart. Inhaling and exhaling in
rhythm with me, his tongue gently touched mine. Involuntarily I groaned with
pleasure. I could taste his scent, melting me away, and I dissolved in it like
sugar in warm milk. His hands swept round to my back to pull me in even closer.
He inhaled deeper. I don’t know when he had a moment to say it since he’d glued
his lips to mine, but ‘Alexandra’ issued from him in a whisper, and I felt a
recommencing of fierceness in his kiss, his tongue now massaging mine. He had
such a firm grip on me, I probably couldn’t have moved away if I wanted to. Therefore,
it was fortunate for us both that I didn’t want to. He moved his lips to my jaw
and down to my throat. I hoped he wasn’t going to give me a love bite because
at that moment I felt his mouth open over my skin. The hairs on my neck stood
up as I shivered in excitement. His grip became firmer but I couldn’t struggle.
I was completely at his mercy. He paused and pulled his head back to look at
me. His eyes were different; as dark and dilated as ever and yet they’d
liquefied, moving like black oil.