Read Handle Me with Care Online

Authors: Helen J Rolfe

Handle Me with Care (6 page)

BOOK: Handle Me with Care
9.06Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Chapter Six

 

The giant penis lay there in all its glory. The chocolate testicles were growing at an alarming rate until the right one became distorted and the chocolate turned as black as liquorice. The light bounced off a silver machete as a masked man sliced it down through the air and swiped both testicles away in one go and then attacked the penis until it was one splattered mess.

Evan jolted himself awake. His back was drenched with sweat, his mouth dry. He peeled off his T-shirt and, gasping for air, staggered to open the window. As he breathed in, breathed out, he watched trucks at the Exhibition Centre make early morning deliveries, the world continuing as though everything were normal.

It was funny how people took things for granted until they were forced to face up to their own mortality. Evan had never worried about his health, assuming that it wouldn’t be a concern until he was old and grey. But Jem’s comment the other day had been enough to convince him to get that lump checked out – a lump the size of a large grape that he had found on his right testicle a couple of weeks before but hadn’t done anything about. He had done the usual reconnaissance via his good friend Google, of course, but contrary to his own hopes, the lump hadn’t just magically gone away on its own accord. Rather than have the doctor examine him and tell him not to worry, send him on his way, he had faced a barrage of tests with a urologist. There’d been full bloods, a testicular ultrasound – the pretty, petite blonde operating the Doppler hadn’t helped him maintain his feelings of masculinity – and when the results were reviewed, they indicated the high probability that it was testicular cancer. When a CT scan came back normal, Evan had assumed the next step would be a needle biopsy, but there was a risk the scrotum could be cut accidentally, making the cancer cells more likely to spread to other parts of the body. And that had left him with no option but to have the orchidectomy. An orchidectomy meant the removal of the testicle, but the only translation Evan understood was ‘castration’.

In the bathroom now, Evan splashed cold water over his face and let it trickle down over his chest, the temperature helping to wipe away the nightmare. He shuddered when he thought back to how he broke the news to Maddie last night. He would never forget that look on her face: shock, denial, fear even. What the hell had he been thinking? He tried to imagine how he would have felt had one of his dates, whom he barely knew, pulled the same stunt with him. He would’ve run a mile. Heck, his past dates had never done anything quite so shocking, and he had still been disinterested in going for round two.

Evan wondered what it was that made you desperate to tell one person something so huge, yet not tell others. Was it a sign of trust? Love, perhaps? Or sheer stupidity? He couldn’t say why, but he was drawn to Maddie, had been from the get-go. She was extraordinarily different in a way he couldn’t describe, and if he tried, he knew his words wouldn’t do her justice. He could see her clearly in his mind: sexy, long layered hair with teasing waves and strands of chestnut and gold, sometimes caramel depending on how the light of the day or night chose to present it. He loved long hair on a girl, always had – not that he didn’t like short hair of course. Demi Moore in Ghost had been the sole reason to go and see that particular chick flick – but on Maddie long hair looked so right. She had a strong personality too, from what he could tell, and he suspected that she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, even if it was uncomfortable doing so. And underneath all that, Evan saw a certain vulnerability that showed Maddie wouldn’t be immune to life’s reality and the crap it could sometimes deal out.

What was Maddie thinking this morning? Was she even thinking about him? He hoped so, but more so he hoped she didn’t pity him; he couldn’t stand that.

He tugged the sheets from the bed and bundled them into the washing machine. He filled a glass with water from the fridge after stacking it with ice cubes, listening to them crack when the water made contact. He leaned against the fridge and watched the dust motes dance in a stream of sunshine coming from between the venetian blinds that hung in front of the balcony doors. His mind drifted back to his school days and a boy in his class, Stephen, who flew under the radar most of the time. Stephen had earned himself the nickname
Womble,
and for years Evan hadn’t understood the joke – in his innocence he had thought that Stephen looked nothing like Uncle Bulgaria or Orinoco – but one day after footy training he had overheard some of the lads talking about it. Apparently Stephen’s nickname derived from only having one ball.

Evan tipped his head back and let an ice cube tumble into his mouth. He never had found out why Stephen had one ball, or indeed whether the rumour was even true; kids could be unnecessarily cruel sometimes.

He opened the balcony door and leant up against the frame as he watched the clouds sauntering lazily across the sky. If this was cancer then it could mean chemotherapy following the op, which would mean going bald – and not only on his head. It would mean spending days and nights on end praying to the porcelain god. It would mean being bloody useless and about as masculine as a chorus line girl.

He idly flicked the door catch up and down and hoped that whatever happened, he would be able to kick the cancer’s arse into the middle of next week. Then maybe, just maybe, he would still have a chance with Maddie.

Chapter Seven

 

‘You’ve got to be kidding.’ Ally’s coffee failed to reach her lips as Maddie sat across from her in Jerimiah’s café and told her about her date with Evan, or more importantly, how it had ended. ‘No wonder you look like you haven’t slept a wink.’

Maddie stared into the froth of her own skim cappuccino and watched the sprinkled chocolate powder hover on top, daring it to sink into the milk so it was as low as she felt.

Ally’s blonde chiselled bob swung sideways as she shook her head in disbelief. ‘You wouldn’t wish the Big C on anyone. I’d say he’s either gutsy for telling you after your first date or a little bit crazy.’

‘He’s not crazy.’ Maddie ploughed her spoon across the chocolate-covered froth.

‘What sort of cancer is it?’

‘It might be testicular cancer, but he told me that the only way to be sure is to have the testicle removed.’

‘Bloody hell – imagine how he must be feeling. Obviously we can’t as we don’t have balls, but you know what I mean. It’s like … one of us losing our breasts.’ She looked down at her own as though she could suddenly see their value. ‘It would be devastating.’

‘I feel like such a heartless, selfish cow.’ Maddie held up her hand before Ally had the chance to mollify her. They had been best friends ever since they met at a taxi rank when Maddie first came to Melbourne, and Maddie knew Ally always gave her the benefit of the doubt. ‘Let me finish. When he told me I immediately thought how awful it must be for him, but then my mind just started ticking over thinking about what it meant for me. We’d had so much fun on the date that all I kept asking myself was whether I’ve got the strength to deal with Evan, whether I’ve got the strength to cope with the possibility that I could lose Evan like I lost Riley.’ She looked up at her friend. ‘Now tell me that doesn’t make me a heartless, selfish bitch.’

‘I think it makes you human.’ Ally gripped her friend’s hand across the table. Ally had known Maddie before that devastating September, had known Riley, and more importantly she had known them together as a couple. And that was what made her more than qualified to be Maddie’s go-to person in a time of crisis.

Maddie had thought about Evan non-stop ever since he had dropped the bombshell that had blown open the wounds from Riley that had never healed over properly in the first place. ‘I really like him,’ she said.

‘Well it’s about time. One-nighters and casual sex don’t suit you,’ replied Ally.

‘Thanks … I think.’

‘And for your information, I’d never think you were a selfish bitch, so stop being so hard on yourself.’ Ally checked her watch. ‘Now, I’m going to be late for a lecture if I’m not careful, and I was late this time last week because I overslept, so today I can’t even miss it on compassionate grounds.’

Ally finished up her coffee and shrugged a rucksack on to her back. She paused to grab a takeaway muffin on their way out. ‘I need to keep my concentration up in the lecture,’ she justified. ‘We mature medical students need all the help we can get.’

Maddie shook her head at the offer of food on top of the coffee; the thought of anything more in her stomach was plain unsettling.

‘Anyway, back to Evan.’ Ally pushed open the door to the café. ‘Apart from the fact that the man has cancer—’

Maddie went to protest at the flippant comment as she held the door open for another customer, but Ally continued.

‘Apart from that one factor, how was the date? You know, before he told you?’ She took a bite of the muffin.

Maddie’s grin widened for the first time that morning.

‘Okay, so now I want details.’ Ally pulled her sunglasses down from where they sat on top of her blonde, bobbed hair as the Australian sun came out in full force.

Maddie regaled the story about the dinner, the simplicity of the evening, the instant attraction to Evan both physically and emotionally.

‘I haven’t felt that way about anyone since Riley. Other guys have always been fun, good looking … but Evan is different. I knew it from the first moment we met. He’s the cliché tall, dark and handsome, he’s fit and sexy and, well—’

‘Well what?’

Her smile disappeared, and as the clouds blocked the sun, she felt a tiny shiver creep its way across her neck, down her arms. ‘Well, perhaps he was too good to be true.’

‘Maddie, you’ve been through more than most when it comes to love and loss. Not to mention all the shit that went down with Riley’s parents cutting you out of their lives after the memorial. You’re stronger than you think.’

‘So why haven’t I moved on by now? I still can’t even manage to watch the commemorative events every year. I find no comfort knowing that other people have suffered the same loss. And now, just when I think there’s a man for me, he goes and announces that he has cancer.’

‘Evan must see something special in you to share what he did last night.’ Ally placed a reassuring hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘Imagine how secure he must’ve felt with you to do that. Unless …’

‘Unless what?’

‘He wasn’t wasted, was he?’ She pulled a face.

‘No, he wasn’t wasted at all.’ They had both consumed enough wine, but his strong body combined with the food would’ve left him clear-headed enough. And if it hadn’t, his confession would have been like an icy bucket of water to sober him up.

Ally pulled Maddie away from the door as the café filled with morning coffee-seekers, people out for an early breakfast before work. ‘I think your gut instinct about this man is right. Maybe Evan is different. You could always follow his lead and share about what happened to Riley.’

Maddie pulled out her car keys. ‘Come on, I’ll run you up to Uni. I’ve got time before my shift.’

Ally’s five-foot-nine-inch athletic build blocked her way. ‘Don’t ignore me.’

Maddie sighed. ‘I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to explain about Riley, and I really don’t know what Evan was thinking telling me about the cancer. I doubt he planned it that way, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s wondering why on earth he did.’

Ally shrugged a grey jumper over her white shirt, defining her student status indisputably. ‘Maybe he feels better about telling someone. It must be a massive secret to deal with alone and sometimes bottling it all up makes things ten times worse.’

Maddie hadn’t missed the subtext of Ally’s remark, but she wasn’t ready to talk about Riley with Evan. She wanted him to know her for who she was now, not as a woman who’d imagined a future with another man. And besides, Riley’s mum’s words still rang in her ears after more than a decade, and Maddie couldn’t help but question her own grief and whether she had any right to feel this way, especially after all this time.

Maddie climbed into the car and paused, her key in the ignition. ‘It’s not the confiding in me that’s the problem though, is it?’ She did a head check before she pulled out into the traffic. ‘It’s the risk of losing someone I care about all over again.’

‘It’s pretty huge, I agree,’ said Ally. ‘But can I ask you one thing?’

‘Sure.’

‘Would you want to go on a second date if he hadn’t told you about his testicular cancer, if there wasn’t this looming cloud of loss hovering over you?’

Maddie drove on as the traffic lights changed to green, her mouth set in a defiant line till she finally said, ‘Yes, without a shadow of a doubt, I would.’

Chapter Eight

 

On Monday morning, for the first time ever, Evan slept through his alarm. Last night he had tossed and turned, alternating between dreams of Maddie and their date with the worst ending in history, and dreams about the impending surgery and the lasting effects on his anatomy and manhood. But when he arrived at Huntley Primary, he had no time for tiredness or fixations on anything else other than his classroom full of energetic five- and six-year-olds.

Evan had been at Huntley Primary for the last nine years, and it was the job he had dreamt about during his study and his teacher training. His enthusiasm didn’t wane when he had to raise his voice above the din to hush his class, directing them to the crates to deposit their lunch boxes, morning tea boxes and drink bottles for easy reach later; and it didn’t wane when he pulled a few rambunctious boys into line as they began a game of kicking each other as a fun way to start the day.

At last the children took their seats at desks with individual name cards on each. ‘Good morning, class,’ said Evan.

‘Good morning, Mr Quinn.’ The class were well versed at the greeting now that they were well into the first term.

Arriving later than usual, Evan had seen another teacher usher his class into line just before he turned up in the playground. Had he been much later, then a change in routine that would’ve been minor to older kids and adults would’ve been a big deal to some of these children. Take Lainey for instance. Most girls were wary of men and found women more nurturing, but Lainey had practically clung to him for the entire first term. He watched her now, marvelling at how in the groove she was with another girl, Dexi, who had become a firm friend. He had been traded in and that, to Evan, was mission accomplished.

Glad to be there for his class, Evan moved between tables as the class beavered away adding colour to their projects on Australian animals. There were fierce looking crocodiles, questionably shaped koalas and peculiarly coloured kookaburras. Perhaps a few more educational images on the smart board wouldn’t go amiss this term.

‘Mr Quinn?’ Paul, a child with a serious snot issue raised his hand. He sniffed, predictably.

‘Yes, Paul.’ Evan passed over the box of tissues and the boy reluctantly took one. It never ceased to amaze him why kids made such a fuss about blowing their noses when it was a million times more comfortable once it was all out.

‘Why were you late this morning?’ Paul waited expectantly for an answer.

The question, of course, was inevitable. Young kids liked their routines, and anything out of the ordinary had to be explained, sometimes to a painful degree. It was part of what he loved about being a teacher though. He loved that these kids were trying to make sense of the big wide world, and it was his job to help forge that vital connection for them.

Evan crouched down beside Paul. ‘I overslept, that’s all.’ He also knew that telling kids anything before you knew for sure would set you up for failure: promise too much and you could fail to deliver; tell them anything negative and you could upset them for no reason. He leant over and pulled a picture book,
Possum on the Porch
, from the bookshelves surrounded by brightly coloured bean bags. He did his best to help Paul sketch something that resembled the Australian animal by using the illustrations, and the distraction served its purpose for now.

At the start of his career, plenty of his mates had been sceptical and teased Evan for doing a girl’s job, or being a babysitter. But Evan’s comeback was that he loved his job, and while they were working in silence at their desks, hunched over a computer, he was kicking a ball around in sports class, out on excursions or getting messy with paints. Of course, he only told them the good stuff. All the paperwork and planning side of being a teacher wasn’t nearly as much fun, but he never tried to argue the point as they, like many others, couldn’t see past the long holidays and the early finishes at half past three.

As he moved to the next table, Evan found his mind wandering to a place where it had never ventured before: he began to think about Maddie and how she would interact with these children. She would fall in love with Lainey, and Dexi would probably be relegated to the subs bench this time. He wasn’t sure how Maddie would react to the two green lines of snot creeping down towards Paul’s top lip again, but even he struggled with that one and he was a guy. He looked around the room. Maddie would take charge of Bill and roll up the bottoms of his school pants and fix his laces; and she would giggle at Maxine for no other reason than the little girl had this insane, infectious laugh.

Evan shook himself back to the present and passed Paul another tissue. His pulse raced, his palms were sweaty, and it was then Evan realised he was already in deeper than he could ever have imagined with a girl he barely even knew.

BOOK: Handle Me with Care
9.06Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Countess Dracula by Tony Thorne
The Protector's War by S. M. Stirling
Orphan of Angel Street by Annie Murray
Favorite Sons by Robin Yocum
Pursuit by Robert L. Fish
Dark Spaces by Black, Helen
More by Clare James
One for Kami by Wilson, Charlene A.