Hard Case VI: The Killer Inside (John Harding Book 6) (29 page)

* * *

We stared at Lynn’s new creation brought to us by Silvio’s clip on addition of another pole which acted like a pool cue with a bridge. It would be aimed at my head after the hook traps me, or just before. The addition incorporated the same padded waterproof tip for drilling me in the head. Silvio invented a solid snap on dual holder for support with large solid grip on Crue’s end. It meant I had a split second during the hooking procedure to work my arm-bar move. Crue, if seeing me moving into the arm-bar smoothly, could use Silvio’s addition to smash me in the head. Combined with Lucas shutting down the Wolf’s forward motion, I would be in for one painful hooking. She would also have the opportunity to change from hooking to poking instead of having to choose.

“Don’t get in the damn water, blockhead,” Tommy ordered. “She’s nuts! I told you she broke the necklace and her mind beads spilled all over the floor. Psycho went bye-bye. Don’t enable her mental illness.”

“T is right, brother,” Jesse added, watching Lynn sitting in the corner with Clint, Dannie, and the baby near the bridge.

Dev smiled. “I can tell on his face he’s going in. You have some weird plan to survive this goofy suicide training. I can tell.”

Casey got closer for a look at the magic Cheeseburger. “You’re right, Dev. John’s going in. We’ll position Achmed the Dead Terrorist so he can knock her off balance during the kill stroke. He’s the only one Crue won’t suspect.”

Jafar’s face reflected such horror, Casey had to give up on his gag. “Oh calm down, you big girl. We won’t make you knock Crue off balance. I would have thought with the number of times John’s saved your ass, you would at least repay him in that small way.”

“John who,” Jafar quipped, realizing Casey was punking him. “I do not know this person named John. I certainly am not in the habit of battling obsessed torturing monsters in defense of strangers.”

“I’ll be okay. How’s our guest doing? I haven’t seen him since I started putting on the banana suit.”

“Crue’s personal torture device maker is prepping him down below. Silvio is supposed to have Vlad the impaled ready when Crue gets done making you wish you were dead,” Casey answered.

“She has the baby with her along with Dannie. Maybe she’ll be Cruella the merciful today.” I got some big yucks from that statement. So much so, I received my wished for meeting with Cruella Deville.

“I’m so happy you girls are enjoying yourselves. It’s time to get wet, Banana. Any last words… I mean concerns?”

“Just one, Lynn. I was wondering if you’re going to have guts enough to hold on to the pole or do you plan to pussy out when the dunkin’ is on the line?”

I think the cosmos froze in time for a moment. All I saw around me while I grinned like a starveling holding a big Mac was horrified faces, as my companions unconsciously stepped away from the doomed Cheeseburger. Lynn moved into my airspace, grabbing my banana suit encased chin, trying to stare me into a puddle of chocolate pudding.

“You got a pretty mouth, Cheese. I like big talkers with pretty mouths. Get the fuck in the water.”

“Does that mean you’ll be pussying out of pole holding?”

“To the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee!”

Neato. Ahab’s last threat at Moby Dick. “Wow, Lynn, nicely done quote. I hope that means you’ll have the guts to hold on to the pole. See you later. I hope you brought some fresh clothes.”

Lynn released my chin. She grabbed the torture device to attach it to its chain holder. “If you’re all done, Banana, I’ll be waiting on the other side of perdition for you.”

Dev put his left hand on my shoulder while making the sign of the cross and gave the Lord’s blessing in Latin. “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.”

“Amen,” said everyone else with heads bowed as I moved to my water entry point off the fantail.

“Wait, John,” Jess turned to Dev. “Do you know the ‘Last Rites’ one, Dev?”

“Unfortunately no,” Dev answered with a sigh and sad shake of his head.

Jess waved me off. “Sorry, John. Go ahead, brother.”

I entered the water without any further fanfare, chuckling to myself. These damn training sessions were getting to be kind of fun. As I stroked to the Wolf’s side into position I yelled at Tommy who was watching me while leaning on the railing. “Don’t forget to keep Clint’s mind on my finned buddies in here. I don’t want to lose any pieces while I’m being tortured.”

“He’ll be watching,” Tommy called back. “By the time Crue gets done with you, you’ll be trying to cut yourself on the side of the boat to draw the sharks in and put you out of your misery.”

“Nice pep talk, T.” I began my warming stroke, every nerve ending on fire in preparation for a head to head match with the most sadistic woman on the planet. This was going to cost me some pain, but I’m admittedly a freak when it comes to pain. We’re old friends. I knew exactly what Crue planned for the first assault, and I planned on pissing her off immediately. Sure, I could be wrong, but so what.

I turned on all the senses as Tommy took it easy on me, and called out the breast stroke for me to begin. He knew I loved that straight forward stroke. I don’t think Cruella Deville cared what stroke I did. She would soon. I smiled because I felt everything beyond my goggles and snorkel: the sting of the saltwater, the icy coldness beyond my banana suit, the rays of the sun beginning to poke at me. Most importantly, I felt the pole as if the inanimate object and I were congenital twins. Crue poked. The split second it touched my neck, I spun with side-hand strike that jarred the pole out of her hands, evoking a yelp followed by a string of curses. I grinned happily as I heard the laughter from the training session observers. There were offers to get out the first aid kit, hand lotion, thicker gloves, and I heard Jess offer to steady the pole for her. Oh my. I enjoyed every second. I knew it was now time for the pain.

This would be a chess game. I needed to sacrifice some pieces. The first hooking was brutal. Lucas slowed the Wolf perfectly to ram me against the hook with Crue adding a smack in the head with her added poke stick which supposedly was only there to prevent me from a final lock on the pole. I absorbed it, waiting patiently to be released. So it went through the next three assaults, all hooks. My timing and sense of the hook dropping, coupled with factoring in when I got head bopped, tuned my Zen mastery a bit more. Crue thought I was owned. She did as expected, using the poke next. I could picture her smiling at the rail. I blasted the pole out of Crue’s hands, nearly cuffing her in the side of the head to accompanying wild cheering from the crew. I heard epithets spewing from Lynn I hadn’t heard since I was in Marine Recon platoon in the ‘Stans. Then it was time – the reckoning.

Tommy called out the butterfly, but by then stroke didn’t matter. Pain and payback flowed with my bloody monster prepping for a slight appearance. I speeded my strokes and kicks, gaining on the Wolf’s trolling motor. I was certain Lynn recognized my ploy from the other morning, thinking I meant to slow suddenly, thereby dropping from the hook. I did slow suddenly, but not as she suspected. I speeded immediately. When the hook dropped on my head, I dolphin rolled, caught the pole in perfect arm-bar positioning, side-hand struck her new pole past the first holder, snapping it in two, and launched a full body rip of the pole. It catapulted Lynn head over heels into the ocean. She didn’t even have time to yell. It was so on then.

Lynn surfaced and launched at me as I rode the pole against the Wolf’s side. I’ll give her this much. She tried every blow imaginable. If Crue would have went into the water with her butterfly knife, I’d be in the midst of a one sided knife fight. As it was, I blocked the blows as the Wolf came to a halt with the entire crew at the railing laughing their asses off, and calling down insults, except for Clint and Dannie. They lived with Crue, and they weren’t suicidal. Each time after I blocked a strike, I dunked Crue. The cold and saltwater in the eyes finally ended her failed retribution in a final gasp of outraged spluttering desperation. She swam for the fantail.

Tommy leaned over, his big smile glowing. “Come on out, Dark Lord. I’m not even taking a turn this morning. You know the drill. Stay near the fantail while Clint gets Crue out of bat-shit crazy mode.”

“Thanks, T,” I called to him while unwinding from the infamous poke/hook. Damn. I get a small break along with a victory over Cruella Deville. I’m goin’ to Disneyland.

By the time I swam to the fantail, Clint and Crue were below deck. Dannie cradled Clint Jr with Lucas making faces at the baby. He glanced at me, pumping his fist. “Recon!”

“I am never missing another Bay cruise,” Jess declared. “I don’t know how the hell you did that, brother, but I’m thinking the Viking better get his face tats in shape.”

“You snapped her damn auxiliary poke pole. That was incredible,” Dev added. “When she pitched into the ocean, we were reluctant to observe the wonderful event at the railing, thinking she might belch out of the waves like a Cruella Deville Moby Dick.”

“I’ll tell you one thing,” Casey added. “I wouldn’t want to be Vlad the Impaled right now. I believe Crue plans to work out…”

Then we heard the screams from down below. Dannie put on her iPod ear pieces and walked the baby to the bridge with Lucas.

“I believe a hellish cruise is in store for the Vlad,” Jafar said in a hushed voice.

“Jess and I will be fishing with our Dre’s on for a while until Crue finishes,” Dev said. “You’ll probably be fresh as a daisy for the possible sparring later at Alexi’s arena with whatever gangbanger is stupid enough to fight you.”

“Yeah, I appreciate the slightly reduced Bay time this morning. If it weren’t for the possible match later, I believe I’d sip a couple. I’ll make sure to have something on hand after our negotiations later.”

“That was one satisfying dip in the ocean for the Deville,” Tommy said. “Man, she went at you by the side of the boat like a piranha. I can’t tell you how she looked when Clint met her at the fantail with a towel. We were all hiding on the bridge.”

I listened to the wailing cries of agony floating in the air from below deck. “I don’t blame you at all for that, brothers. I believe I may have set free the Kraken. I think I’ll stay in my banana suit for a while. She can’t Tase me while my back’s turned then through the rubber.”

“A wise precaution, brother,” Dev said. “Come to the railing and fish with us. We have an extra pole.”

“Thanks, Dev.”

“As an added precaution though,” Jess remarked while guiding me to the rail, “let’s make sure there’s at least a few feet between us Snow Whites and you, John. We don’t want to confuse the Kraken.”

* * *

By the time Lucas docked The Sea Wolf, nothing existed of Vlad but a few thin threads of sanity. Although not a mark showed on him, he hummed with anticipation to do whatever Cruella Deville asked of him. Clint called Sam and Janie. They arrived shortly after we reached the dock, awaiting our exit from the entrance to the pier. Lynn again carried Clint Jr in her front baby pack. His closeness to her seemed to have absorbed any remaining obsession to kill the Cheeseburger. We had not spoken or exchanged glances, but she hadn’t zapped me since I showered and changed so that was a positive. I could tell Clint was entertained. This was his big moment too. He would have been happy with slitting Vlad’s throat, but now he and Lynn could transfer the very compliant Vlad to the FBI. It always put a smile on Clint’s face when he delivered a Cruella Deville reformed bad guy to Sam Reeves, knowing Sam and Janie knew there wasn’t a single thing in the way he did it that was legal.

Sam looked at the petrified Vlad uneasily. “Can he still talk?”

“Sure. His real name is Vladimir Slager,” Crue said. “Vlad? Use your words, honey. Tell the FBI about what you did. I’ll let you know if I want you to stop.”

We watched and listened with admiration as this serial killing ass-wipe rattled off his murderous rampage in order starting from the very first one all the way to Kelly Garner, his next victim. He never stuttered or hesitated. Lynn let him get to the end, because Sam and Janie were mesmerized from start to finish.

“Thank you, Vlad. Remember my good little helper, Lynn doesn’t want to hear any bad things about my little helper being uncooperative. That would be very bad, wouldn’t it, Vlad?”

Violent head shake in agreement. “Yes, mistress!”

“No titles necessary at this time, Vlad. Simple yes, Sir and No Ma’am. When you want him to shut up just say ‘enough Vlad’, and he’ll stop. Vlad is eager to provide some comfort for the families of his victims. He knows he deserves punishment for his horrible acts.”

“You two are amazing,” Janie said. “We’ll be in touch if anything goes wrong.”

Sam shook hands with Clint. “I don’t know what to say besides I’m glad you stopped him before he got to Kelly Garner.”

“So are we, Sam,” Clint replied. “Don’t worry about anything going wrong, Janie. Vlad knows we can find him anywhere, don’t you Vlad?”

“Yes Sir, Mr. Dostiene!”

Sam and Janie left with Vlad. I broke the silence first. “The Oaktown Cartel negotiations start at eight. We don’t know yet what the 98 Crew has in store for us, but after we take care of business, I’m buying at The Warehouse later.”

Lynn walked over to pat me on the face. “You got me good, Cheese. You do know there aren’t any take backs, right?”