Hard Case VI: The Killer Inside (John Harding Book 6) (33 page)

* * *

It had been half an hour of hell with Cruella Deville in the driver’s seat. Full scale Cheeseburger demolition took place under the watchful eye of the crew. I had been baiting Lynn all morning until I got in the water, hoping to get a crack at giving her another unexpected dip in the ocean. No such luck as although despite her clever feints I had been able to put the arm-bar on my mortal pole enemy half the times, and had a perfect Zen side-hand strike record, Lynn let go of the pole. Each time she let go though, I released my end of the pole and raised out of the water like Flipper making porpoise sounds ending in ‘Pussy’. She was getting me good, but paying for it in ridicule. The last pole poke, she hadn’t let go in time, and I smashed it out of her hands. I still gave her my Flipper sendoff. Silvio had repaired his auxiliary poke pole with a pipe joiner I would have to hit in a different spot to break so Lynn was nailing me with it good during the hook. Tommy came over to my relief in order to assume control.

“Go away, White Sands. Cheese needs a firm hand.”

“You’re done, Psycho!” Tommy stated. “Let me have the pole.”

“I’m going to give him one more shot.”

I moved away from the Wolf as Lucas throttled down for the change in handlers. I saw Clint smiling at the discussion while Jess watched from a distance, always concerned Cruella Deville might explode. Dannie, I could see had been on the bridge with Lucas while looking after the baby. I did my Flipper while Crue seethed. Then I stepped off the cliff.

“I’m not training until you give Tommy the pole, Sissy. I don’t want your hands to get chapped.” Then I repeated my porpoise to much amusement from everyone but Crue.

She leaned on the railing, pointing down at me. “You are so doomed! I’ll hold the pole until I bust your Cheese head wide open! I’m even telling you what I’m going to do. I will hook your damn Flipper ass until you choke!”

“Well… all right! Grab the pole sweetie, and let’s do this.” Oh my God, if Crue had been holding a harpoon, I would have had it sticking out right between my eyes. As it was, she grabbed the pole, twisting it in her hands like she was kneading dough.

“Any last words before you get sent to that great barbeque in the sky, Cheeseburger?”

“See you in the water, Sissy!”

I took my time stroking as Lucas increased speed, listening to Crue turn the air blue. She was primed now. It was up to me and my Zen and the art of Cruella Deville dunking. I planned a ‘Dragon Hands’ spider-monkey move no one had ever seen before, because the last time I saw it, Dragon Hands was wrapping it around my neck. It was the famous choke that made me see Smokey the Bear. Crue wouldn’t be seeing Smokey, but I planned on her possibly swimming with the Great Banana.

I did the worst possible stroke, the butterfly, because I wanted complete mind blowing concentration. I increased my speed until Lucas had to give it more throttle. It was a killer pace, but no way would I get Crue with the same old move. This would have to be so delicate as to be a Vulcan mind meld. I could see Crue, lips a thin slash of concentration, her hands gripping the pole, timing every stroke. It was nearly a holy vision. I saw the pole hover close in my mind’s eye. I slowed, spun, and there it was. I gripped and flipped out of the water as Lucas cut engines, shooting my feet upwards to wrap in the opposite direction around the pole while yanking against it as I would an opponent’s arm. I slammed into the Wolf’s side, but in doing so, I cast Crue like a salamander on the end of a stick. She didn’t hit the water until nearly twenty feet from the boat. I unwound from the pole before she even surfaced. I stroked for the fantail at full speed with laughter loudly assaulting my ears, interspersed amongst hoots, hollers, and Lucas yelling ‘Recon’.

By the time Crue launched toward where I should have been, I was climbing aboard, shedding my banana suit to loud applause. I may not live, but I bested the Cruella Deville in an I’m sure one of a kind feat never to be repeated. Tommy could barely breathe. He was following Crue’s beeline for the fantail trying to get breath enough for a warning. Jess yelled in a panic.

“Run for it, John!”

I streaked for below deck with Clint setting aside his shark killer rifle while laughing his ass off, and heading on an intercept course for his wife. I took a speed breaking shower. Then with jeans, t-shirt, socks, shoes, Kevlar in place, and one of our communication helmets on, I peeked out from below. Tommy and Jess waved me with hurried gestures to the fantail where they were seated. The moment I was seated, Clint guided his towel wrapped ‘Wake of the Red Witch’ down below.

“Oh my God, John… that was so good,” Tommy said. “It’s too bad you’re saving the world again today. We’d fish and drink for the rest of the day. When Clint intercepted Psycho, steam was coming off of her head. We’ve been ducking down here for the whole time you were showering.”

“Clint is the man! He had to do hand to hand combat for a few minutes until he could get a triangle choke on her,” Jess added with enthusiasm. “He was talking at Crue while blocking an assortment of kicks and strikes, but nothing worked. He had to put the choke on her. Finally, Crue tapped out when he mentioned the baby. She let him take her on the bridge then, but Lucas couldn’t stop braying with that laugh of his every couple minutes. It’s a good thing you came above deck when you did. Nice outfit.”

I remembered I put on armor and a helmet then. I took off the helmet, but left the Kevlar in place. “I didn’t want to leave anything to chance.”

“Good precaution,” Tommy said. “We should put air in the emergency raft and tow you home on it. That way, if Clint can keep weapons out of her hands, you might live to see port.”

Lucas walked to the fantail, and handed me a cup of coffee with Dannie holding little Clint, her eyes big as saucers.

“Recon! That was a gift, John! I barely throttled back to turn around in time. I nearly missed the spear throw you did to Crue. It looked like you shot her out of a slingshot. I think I pulled a muscle I was laughing so hard.”

“I told Mr. Blake we should go full throttle for shore,” Dannie said. “You need to get off this boat, Mr. Harding. I don’t know if even the baby can calm her. I’ve never seen her that mad before.”

“Casey, Dev, and Achmed are going to cry real tears when they find out what they missed,” Lucas said, patting Dannie’s shoulder.

Jess held up his iPad, making sure Clint and Lynn weren’t approaching. “I got it on video. I never thought it could happen again, but I figured it was worth a shot.”

Lucas grabbed it out of Jess’s hand. “Give me that! This is gold, Jess!”

Lucas quickly cued up the video. We huddled around him watching the moments before, during, and after the soon to be infamous ‘Wake of the Red Witch’. It was incredibly good, and had Lucas braying out loud again. Tommy, Jess, and I appreciated it in low tones of enjoyment. Dannie refused to watch it. She stood and started toward the bridge.

“I’ll be on the bridge. I think you should delete that. It’s like holding a time bomb in your hands with the timer set to blow any second.”

“The hell with that, kid,” Lucas replied, hitting the share button. “I’m sending this to Denny, Case, Achmed, and the minions. Crue’s been getting too full of herself lately. She needs taken down a peg.”

“We need to all be in agreement though,” Tommy said. “John must never be in the water with Crue aboard again. He really is her great white whale now. She’ll be walkin’ around the boat, whistlin’ and singing… maybe even playing with the baby. Then in a split second, she’ll pull a harpoon out from somewhere and spear the Great Banana before we can stop her.”

“Agreed,” Jess said.

“Absolutely,” Lucas voted. “We can’t be stupid about this. It was a once in a lifetime experience for Recon, but if we’re to keep him alive, he’ll have to train without Crue aboard, or we’ll have to scrap the training in the Bay. She’ll gut him otherwise. I trust Clint. He’s like a son to me, but even he has his limits.”

“I say after we save the world again today, we take Crue out on the Bay tomorrow for another round.” Oh my. Even Lucas shunned me. Live in the moment I always say.

Chapter Eleven

Cleanup

We reached our dock without incident or me having to be towed on the raft. We hadn’t planned on making the call with Gorgo until after ten anyway, so we had plenty of time to reach Pain Central after we returned. Crue had stayed on the bridge with the baby. Dunking her again cut my training period short slightly which was a good thing considering how this day could develop. Crue didn’t speak to me on the way off the Wolf. She merely pointed at me as I sat at the fantail and then made a throat slitting gesture in spite of the baby in her arms. Clint was smiling. I doubt there is anything in the world quite like the two of them. Dannie followed her mentors off the boat, giving me worried looks. God help the prisoners we take today, especially Morsi. When Crue finishes with him, I believe there won’t be much left of his mind except to do her bidding.

Jess, Tommy, and Lucas joined me on the dock after I finished tightening the Wolf’s moorings. “I’m going to need a ride. Even I ain’t got balls enough to ride to Pain Central with Crue.”

That lightened the mood a bit.

“Although you’re hell-a-entertaining on the boat lately, Recon, I can’t help but hope this new suicidal mood you’ve been in since our atom bomb intervention passes before Crue ties a bomb to the banana suit.”

“I’ll let you know once we get our hands on Morsi. We’ve been climbing the ladder in the right direction, but I admit the nearness to a nuclear holocaust has scrubbed any notions of live and let live with me. It may have bled through into my mental outlook on training. I think we’ll have to curtail Crue’s volunteer work in my training.”

“Thank God,” Jess said.

“Amen.” Tommy actually genuflected. Now that was funny.

“A wise decision, kid,” Lucas added. “I believe you’ve poked back at that grizzly one too many times. When you flung her into the water like a used spitball today, I believe you made it to the peak of Mt Everest. Heed my advice and let them helicopter you down off the summit.”

I sighed and nodded my head in agreement. “Agreed. Thanks to Jess’s bold camera work we still have the memory to cherish of this fateful day.”

“You do know the minions will be selling squares on a Dark Lord Death Pool, right?”

“Yeah Lucas. Have them save me three squares.”

* * *

Gorgo Palente stepped out of the stretch limo on the dock near the tugboat Alexi Fiialkov allowed to be towed for mooring. He waited stolidly with Clint, Lynn, and Jafar near him. Jess and Dev were in the front seat. Lucas had our back door sealed. Casey and I had beads on everything entering the dock. Hassan Morsi could not hide his excitement earlier in the day when Gorgo told him he had the tugboat and crew in a safe place. He didn’t blink when Gorgo demanded a meeting and new terms.

Hassan’s S-Class Mercedes Sedan rolled into position directly in front of Palente and my Monster Squad representatives. It turned out they did exactly what we expected them to do. Shooters popped out to execute Palente. Casey and I blew their heads off. We figured Morsi would either come or he wouldn’t, but he’d try and kill Palente no matter what. We hoped with the proven bait he would show in person. Clint and Lynn with Jafar backing them with an MP5 approached the Mercedes. Clint called out for Morsi to come out. He did. The driver then stepped out along with the passenger. Jackpot. In minutes, Clint and Lynn restrained the survivors with Jafar confirming Morsi’s identity.

“New arrival, Recon.”

“No unwanted visitors, Lucas.”

A hundred yards back, there was a spectacular explosion. Lucas had an M136 rocket launcher. We had Morsi. I didn’t see the need for new arrivals. We still had a ship to capture. The best part was Casey and I didn’t hurt the new S-Class Mercedes so the minions would be happy. I might get a few more squares on the Dark Lord Death Pool. I figured if I bought a few extra squares, Lynn would get a laugh out of it, and do what she usually does – the opposite of what everyone expects her to do, such as ambush the Cheeseburger.

Casey and I joined our small group. The minions arrived with our tactical van with body bags, fire equipment, and big smiles for the S-Class. We put out the fires on the vehicle barbeque, loaded our live ones, bagged the dead ones, including the crispy critters, and were on the road to hell on earth for one very special guest. I called Denny.

“Cleanup on aisle seven.”

“Very funny, Cheese. Did you get Morsi?”

“Yes, and a couple of henchmen. We have one barbequed car for pickup on Alexi’s dock, and you can have the tug back whenever you want, although Ahab is in love.”

“Fine. One refurbished tugboat, and one demolition retrieval. Any bodies in the demolition?”

“No. We extracted the well done occupants. Do you want a live stream on the interrogation?”

“Yes. If you can patch me in, I’d like to be able to monitor it if I can. I won’t interrupt The Mistress in her work on Morsi. I know you share my compassion for the poor boob. After your dunking of Crue for the third outing straight, we’ll be lucky if the guy can put two words together, let alone board and surrender a ship.”

“That would be my take on it too, Den. Unfortunately, none of us know how to intercede on Morsi’s behalf. I’m afraid we’ll have to let that scene play out and hope we’ll have a docile but mobile Morsi.”