Hard Target (33 page)

When they reached the hotel, she found a single, tiny parking space around the corner. As she parked, she wondered what he would say if she asked him to retrieve her notes without her coming up.

No. She didn't run away from her problems, nor was she any kind of coward. Yet, did you want to start again with Tay?

He lifted his hand and brushed a stray blonde wave from her face. His knuckles barely touched her skin and yet the impromptu caress rippled through her. It was all she could do to stop from leaning toward him. "You don't have to say anything," Tay whispered. "But I'd like you to talk to me. I'd like to say a few things myself."

She frowned, still keeping her eyes on the parked car ahead. "Talk about what?"

He shrugged. "Whatever. I just want us to talk. You could tell me what drives you to push yourself beyond the limits. And what you were thinking of when I asked you to consider coming up to my hotel room?"

She threw open the car door and escaped into the hot day, pulling into her lungs a measure of smoggy air. "I push myself because no one else is going to do my work for me." She peered back in at him. "Are you coming, or will you just give me your key?"

He climbed out.

A few minutes later, when they found themselves alone in a creaking elevator, he spoke again. "Your family must be very proud of all you've accomplished."

The elevator lurched to a stop and the doors groaned open. Detouring around a maid's cart, they walked to his room. She held her breath, wondering why she should keep all the things inside of her so tightly reined. Tay wanted to know everything that wasn't on her file. She should just blurt out all the dirty details and see if he wanted her to stay after he found out what a dysfunctional family she'd come from.

The suite was warm, the drapes still closed, the bed beyond the open bedroom door neatly made. Dawna walked over to the desk and scooped up her notes.

Her knuckles whitened as the gripped her papers. "My family," she said as if there hadn't been a break in their conversation, "consists of me, my mother and my younger sister. That's it." She straightened as tall as she could get. "Mom didn't even bother to come to my graduation because my sister
'needed'
her.  There was no praise any time I got promoted. There wasn't any of that. My sister is so selfish and insecure, she can't allow our mother to show affection anywhere else, and my mother always obliges her."

Tay's jaw tightened. "Your younger sister still lives at home?"

"You know that already. Yes, she's still at home. She'll be there until she dies. And my mother will continue to treat her like a princess." Gritting her teeth, she folded her notes into a tight square, before glaring at them.

Tay walked to the mini bar and pulled out two small bottles of juice. He handed her one. "So, she's the favorite child, right?"

She snatched the juice and twisted off the cap with more force than necessary. "I'm not jealous, if that's what you think. Tanya needs the love. She needs the care and encouragement because she never could do a single thing for herself. She's needy." She took a swallow of the cold juice.

"She did do one thing without our mother," Dawna continued with a flick of her head. "When she was fifteen, she got pregnant. Mom was there, doting on her as always, worried for her future, and Tanya lapped it all up, acting like a poor, persecuted child." She swirled the remains of her juice in the bottle. "Sometimes, nowadays, I blame Mom for this, but mostly I blame Tanya. I mean, she's an adult now."

"What happened to the baby?"

"Tanya miscarried when she was about four months along. Mom was devastated, and took her out of school for the rest of the year." She put down the bottle. The juice had turned sour on her tongue.

"Where were you?"

"Finishing up my final year. Getting straight A's while working at a local convenience store. Doing all the household finances and chores so Mom could take care of Tanya, who was even worse off by then. Emotionally, not physically."

Dawna knew she sounded bitter. Maybe she
was
jealous. All of her efforts to be the best were ignored by her oblivious mother. "I came home one day to say I was joining the army. It was the first time Mom hugged me in a long time."

She could still feel it. Her mother's flowery perfume, the way her over-gelled hair tickled Dawna's cheek. She'd finally won her mother's approval.

"Why did she hug you? I mean, if what you say is true, she wouldn't want you to leave. You supported them so much."

He was playing devil's advocate. She could sense it in his tone. "You don't understand. I was young, always griping about Tanya not pulling her weight. How I couldn't afford to keep paying for everything Tanya wanted. Mom used to buy her anything, but when it got to be too costly, she asked me to pitch in."

"To buy her what?"

"Books to study whatever took her fancy. One month, it was returning to high school so she could finish her education, so she needed books and decent clothes. Another month, she wanted to take computer courses, so she could get a job. Another was a modeling job, so she needed lessons for that. But nothing was permanent. The task of the moment always fizzled and Mom always asked me to help out." She glared at Tay. "I bet when I joined the army, both of them thought I would keep sending them money. That I would have this terrific salary. Well, a private's salary isn't that great. I think they resented me when I told them I had no money. By then, I'd refused to play their game and was tired of being accused of being selfish. The military gave me courage and strength."

Blinking, she unfolded the rigid square she'd made of her notes. A hand slid across her back and she looked up to find Tay taking the notes away from her while holding her lightly. She fell into his embrace. She hadn't talked about Mom and Tanya for ages. But now it seemed clear. No wonder she'd strived all these years to be the best. Good grief, when had she become so pathetic?

"Wasn't your mother worried about you being a cop?" he asked quietly.

"A little at first. I used to think that it was because if something happened to me, who would help out with Tanya? But Mom
was
worried, though I managed to convince her I'd be very well-trained." She drew in a sharp breath. "I remember. Tanya got sick the evening I told my mother, the night she hugged me. There wasn't anything wrong with Tanya, just some nausea, but we had to rush her in the hospital, anyway. She was the panicky sort."

She tightened her hold on Tay. The doctor couldn't find anything wrong with Tanya. Now, all these years later, Dawna understood. For one fleeting moment, Tanya had lost her mother's doting attention. Understanding washed through her.

Tay set her away from him. "Your sister was jealous, wasn't she?"

She nodded. "Without a doubt." She stared into Tay's warm, hazel eyes. "So there you have the whole sordid tale."

He smiled. She could tell that he was pleased that he now understood why she strived to be the best. And in an odd way, she seemed to understand it more herself, thanks to Tay.

Tanya didn't matter anymore. Mom would never change. Tanya would always milk her. Dawna wasn't responsible for them.

Feeling lighter inside, she smiled back into Tay's eyes. She couldn't change her family, but she could change her own life. No more bitterness, no more pain. Her gaze dropped to his lips, wondering if she could somehow tell Tay without words that she wanted him to kiss her.

Her gaze drifted back up to his eyes. He had read her wordless request. With the same strong, sensitive intuition he'd shown as he'd probed her past, he lowered his mouth to hers.

He tasted like tropical fruit, tangy and sweet. She recognized passion fruit and guava, the fruit that looked like tiny watermelons, but whose flavor was slightly musky.

Delicious.

He led her to the couch. They both fell onto it, Dawna taking his mouth hungrily, as if starved for far too long.

A word, throaty and hot, rolled out over Tay's tongue. The long, hard kiss had dulled her senses, and it took time for her to realize it was her name he'd said.

It sounded wonderful, stimulating. He'd called her Dawna since he arrived, but this time, the word slipped from his lips full of need, all throaty and breathy.

She ran her hands over his back, tugging to free his shirt. It gave at once and she plunged her hands between the warm cotton and hot skin.

She couldn't have been happier. Nor could she decipher the reason.

He set her away from him. "I fully expected you to punch my lights out the moment you spotted me at the airport." He swallowed and shook his head. "Dawna, I didn't come to Bolivia to seduce you again. That's not my style. I...I was fully to blame for what happened... You can't...am I making any sense?"

Was he? She wasn't sure. In one way, she did understand, yet in another way, all remained elusive. She slipped off the couch, suddenly restless. "Tay, I-"

A sharp rap on the door startled her. Yet, thankful for the diversion, she hurried to it. It was a young porter, delivering two thin sheets of paper. Taking them, she thanked him and shut the door.

"What is it?" Tay asked, still sitting.

She scanned the papers. "It's a fax of a newspaper article. The cover letter says it's from RCMP headquarters in Ottawa. Some guy named Andy."

Tay moved to his laptop and opened it. "That's Andy Bonner, a cop in Ottawa. He said he would try to dig up what he knew about Chayo. What does he say?"

She smoothed out the thin sheet and began to read out loud. "
'I tried to call your cell phone but it must be shut off. Figured I'd just fax this old newspaper article I found, instead. I highlighted the parts you might be interested in.'

"'By the way, I heard through the grapevine that Sergeant Atkinson's boss, Colonel Smythe, bawled you out for not getting rid of the sergeant yet.
'"

A chill rushed through her. She felt the blood drain from her face as she finished reading it. "'
I put my name on the list of volunteers to go down there, so I hope that Sergeant cooperates with us when I show you how things are done.
'"

Something hard and cold lodged in her throat. Silence rang through the suite. Finally, she glanced up from the paper now swimming before her eyes, and blinked Tay into focus. He stood there, his face tight with a frown.

She steeled her back. "You've done it again, haven't you? You said you weren't here to get rid of me. But I'm going to take all the blame, just like I did three years ago." She cursed. "I trusted you."

Chapter Twenty-one

"Dawna, wait-"

Her rude suggestion for what he could do was physically impossible. Tay tried to capture her hand, but she was too quick as she snatched up the notes Tay has set down. That done, she spun. With her feet apart, her shoulders slightly hunched, she looked ready for hand to hand combat.

He stood in her way to the door, and judging by the deadly look on her face, he'd say she was ready to kill to reach it.