Harp's Song (16 page)

“Are you excited about going to Florida again this summer?” he asks me.

“I am.” I answer him hesitantly.

“Well, that wasn’t a very enthusiastic answer.” He laughs.

“I know, sorry. I really am excited, but I guess I kind of don’t want it to get here because then we leave for school a month later, and that makes me sad,” I tell him.

“I know what you mean, but we will have the best summer ever, and I promise you we will talk every day when we go to school,” he says reassuringly.

“Hey guys,” Ethan says walking over to us. He reaches over to give me a hug before joining us at our table. “Thanks for coming, these things are usually so boring.”

“What’s the party for anyway?” I ask.

“My Dad is the President of his law school alumni association this year so he’s hosting an alumni fundraising party for the school,” he explains.

“Where did he go to school?” Connor asks.

“Northwestern.”

“Northwestern in Chicago?” I squeak.

“Yeah,” Ethan confirms.

Oh.My.God.

Seriously I’m starting to freak out running through all the possibilities in my head.

“How old is your dad?” I ask Ethan anxiously.

“He’s forty-two, I think. Why?”

“Oh nothing, some of the guys here look older than that so I was just curious,” I cover.

“All alumni are invited to these things, not just people in his class,” he explains.

When he and Connor start talking about baseball I do the math in my head and panic even more because while I don’t think that Ethan’s dad and Alex were in the same class, it doesn’t mean he couldn’t be here supporting his alma mater. I calm myself down by reminding myself that Alex lives in Michigan—there’s no way he would come to middle of nowhere-Iowa for this party. I’m pulled from my thoughts when Emma bounds over to our table.

“Hey guys, thanks again for coming—now that you’re here, this will be way more fun than the usual boring parties my parents throw,” she says excitedly. “Harp, are you ok? You look a little pale.”

Leave it to Emma to notice my freak out, but her enthusiasm is so contagious that I can’t help but smile back at her. We spend the rest of the night moving from table to table talking about the guests, laughing, gorging ourselves on the food and sneaking champagne. I do my best to push my anxiousness about possibly seeing Alex here to the back of my mind.

Mr. and Mrs. Sommers come over to talk to us, mainly to steal Ethan and Emma away so they can introduce them to some of the guests.

Once they’re gone, I turn to Connor, “I need to use the restroom. I’ll meet you back here in a few minutes.” He nods and leans in to give me a kiss on my cheek before I make my way back to the house. I’ve only had one glass of champagne, but I can feel the fuzziness and warmth from it throughout my body. So I blame the champagne on my lack of awareness when I smack straight into someone’s hard chest.

“Whoa there!” A man chuckles grabbing my shoulders to steady me.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attent …” I can’t finish the word because I’m looking directly at Alex Hamilton.

You’ve got to be kidding me!

I can’t believe he really is here, and that I freaking ran into
him
.

This is unbelievable. Stuff like this only happens in movies, right? I had kept an eye out for him when we were outside, but after an hour or so of scanning faces and not seeing him, I was relieved when I figured he wasn’t here.

This is not happening right now … is it? I shut my eyes and take a deep breath hoping that the alcohol is making me see things, and that when I open my eyes it won’t be him—it will be a different man. Unfortunately, when I open them and look at his face, it is still
him
.

Shit.

He gives me a puzzled look when he sees me open my eyes, “Are you ok? You’re really pale … did you hurt yourself, sweetheart?”

Ugh. Sweetheart. I vehemently hate this word. I always thought it sounded condescending or degrading in some way, especially coming from an older man. I clear my head and step to the side.

“Yeah, um, sorry about that,” I say turning to continue to the restroom.

“I’m sorry, to bother you, but are you sure you’re ok? You seem really upset.”

I keep walking toward the restroom before I pause to look around. I realize we are alone and take a deep breath. Turning to face him, I smile sweetly, “Well, Mr. Hamilton, I’m just fine but it would have been nice if you had shown some concern toward my mother seventeen years ago.”

I turn my back to him before I can see the damage of my words in his expression. I hurry into the bathroom and lock the door. Leaning against it, I try to regain my breath and calm my nerves. I can’t believe I just did that. I can’t believe I just met my father.

Oh.My.God.

To top it off I can’t believe that’s what I said to him. I don’t know where it came from, but it was literally the first thing that came to my mind and it was out of my mouth before I could stop. I try to compose myself before going back outside to Connor, Ethan and Emma.

Before I make it our table, Connor greets me on the large patio.

“Hey, I was just getting ready to come check on you,” he says.

“Oh, sorry, I’m here now,” I reply.

“Are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he asks concerned. I hate that I can’t hide anything from him. Before I can answer him, he grabs my hand.

“Why are you shaking?”

“Oh, must be the champagne.” I say wearily. I’m not a good liar and Connor can call me out better than anybody, so I’m hoping he buys the champagne excuse because I’m really not up for explaining any of this to him—not now.

“Well, how about you slow down there then tiger?” he says chuckling. I exhale thankful he didn’t press me any further.

When we rejoin Emma and Ethan at our table they are laughing, “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, Harp, you totally missed it,” Emma spits out between laughs. “See that guy over there with the beard and the huge gut?”

I turn in the direction she’s nodding in and see that the man she’s referring to is talking to Alex Hamilton. I try to look away quickly, but he catches me and we hold our gaze before Emma’s contagious laughter brings my attention back to her.

“Yeah, I see him,” I say.

“Well, my mom brought him over here to introduce us to him. I guess he’s someone important, I don’t really know. The whole time he was here he was eating shrimp. He kept getting cocktail sauce in his beard and then he dripped it down his shirt and instead of using a napkin, he wiped it up with his finger and then ate it! It was so disgusting. On top of all that he kept talking with his mouth open and I swear that Ethan got sprayed with shrimp.” Emma starts laughing harder now.

I smile and look at the three of them all red faced and laughing.

“Oh, yeah, hold still Ethan, I think I see a piece in your hair.” I say.

“Stop it. I do not have shrimp on me,” Ethan says and we all try to rein in our laughter. “Do I?” he asks skeptically and that’s our undoing. We all bend over the table laughing until we hear someone tapping into the microphone and turn to see Ethan’s dad on the top step of the patio.

“Come on Emma, we have to go,” Ethan says taking Emma by the hand and walking over to stand next to their mom who is behind and to the right of their dad. I follow them with my eyes until my view is interrupted and when I refocus my gaze, I see Alex staring right at me.

I give him my best glare, before Connor’s hand on the small of my back has me paying attention to the tingles running through my body. Turning to look at him, I smile and lean up to give him a kiss. When I pull away he smiles softly at me, and pulls me into his side resting his hand on my hip while we listen to Mr. Sommers welcome everyone. When Mr. Sommers is done, Ethan and Emma are bombarded with people rushing over to talk to them and their parents.

“I have to use the restroom,” Connor says, “Will you be ok if I leave you here for a few minutes?”

“Sure, I’ll wait here for you,” I tell him before he leans down and kisses the top of my head. I smile at his sweet gesture and watch him walk toward the house.

I pull my phone out to pass the time when I hear
his
voice. I close my eyes and when I open them, Alex Hamilton is standing in front of me with pure disbelief in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” I ask, my words dripping with poison.

“So, you’re friends with Ethan and Emma Sommers?” he asks me while his eyes roam my face. I stare at him refusing to answer. “And, your name is Harp?”

All I see is disgust for the man standing in front of me.

“Yes, asshat, my name is Harp and just in case you don’t remember, my mom’s name is Anne. Anne Evans. Ring a bell?”

The look on his face is priceless. He looks like he’s seen a ghost and is going to faint. I see the emotion in his eyes change, from disbelief to fear as he steps closer assessing my face.

Fear is an interesting motivator for people. Sometimes, they use it to rise above and conquer it, but other times, people let it win and it consumes them … makes them desperate. I feel desperation rolling off Alex.

“Hey Harp, where’s Connor?” Ethan asks approaching me.

“You listen here, whatever Anne has told you is a lie. She was a messed up kid and no doubt still messed up now. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about—and you, you are nothing and mean nothing.”

“Listen man, I don’t know who the hell you are or why you know Harp and her mom, but you’d better back off.” Ethan says stepping in between Alex and me. Even though Alex is at least six feet tall, Ethan stands his ground and is nose-to-nose with him.

When Alex doesn’t walk away, Ethan takes my hand, “Come on Harp.”

As we walk past Alex, he reaches for my arm effectively stopping me, forcing me to look at him.

“I mean it. Anne is a whore and if you
are
her daughter, you must be a whore too.”

I open my mouth in shock and am ready to tell him off, but Ethan beats me to the punch. Literally. He punches Alex in the face so hard, that he stumbles back into the table behind him. I look between the two of them, and when I pick my mouth off the floor I step toward Alex faintly aware that Connor will back soon.

“You are a pathetic excuse for a man. A real man does not rape his soon-to-be seventeen year old sister-in-law and does not call his daughter a whore!” I say, spitting at him.

I.Hate.Him.

And then I smack him across the face not even caring that my right hand is on fire, stinging. A set of familiar, strong arms grab me and pull me toward the house. We’ve definitely attracted an audience and so instead of saying goodbye to anyone, we go straight to Connor’s truck. I feel terrible about doing that at The Sommers party. Guilt settles in and I hope Ethan and Emma won’t be mad at me.

The adrenaline running through me is starting to fade as I realize what just happened. Suddenly Connor pulls over onto the shoulder of the road and barely comes to a stop, before he throws the truck into park.

“What happened back there?”

“Nothing.”

“Harp, that wasn’t ‘nothing’. I saw Ethan’s hand and know he punched that guy, but I need to know why. What did he say to you?”

I turn my head toward the passenger window and focus on the green landscape in front of me, because I’m just not ready to tell Connor everything.

“Does this have anything to do with what happened with you and your mom? You’ve been distant, and after what happened tonight, I need you to tell me what’s going on.”

“This has nothing to do with you Connor. Just take me home.”

He sighs, “Seriously, it’s ok. We can get through this together. I promise it won’t change anything between us. Just talk to me.”

“No. Take. Me. Home.”

He punches the steering wheel and pulls back onto the road. The rest of the drive home my mind swirls with thoughts and words. I hear my mom tell me over and over again how I ruined her life. I hear Alex call me a whore. I remember how unwanted I’ve felt for so long. I look at Connor and realize that I don’t deserve him. He’s too good for me and should be with someone better … someone who can make him happy and who doesn’t need to be saved all the time because she’s strong enough to save herself. That girl isn’t me.

The tension between us is suffocating and as soon as we get to his house, I jump out and run to my room. I start packing, stuffing clothes into my bags as quickly as I can. As soon as I’m done, I call my mom and tell her I’m ready to come home. She gladly agrees to pick me up and within minutes, I am quietly tip toeing down the hall into the front sitting room, to meet her outside.

“What are you doing?”

Connor’s voice from behind me makes me jump. Crap. His door was shut when I went by so I thought for sure he was in his room. He must have been in the kitchen or living room because he’s still dressed in his suit, and is holding his jacket over his arm. I’m not going to be able to avoid him.

“I’m going home. My mom’s picking me up any minute,” I tell him.

“Why?”

“Because I need to go. I can’t stay here forever and after what happened tonight, I just want to be at home.”

“Why does it look like you are trying to sneak out of here?”

I shift uncomfortably and look down at my feet, “I … um, I just didn’t want to wake anyone up.”

“So, you were going to sneak out of here at eleven o’clock at night because you didn’t want to wake anyone up? I guess you weren’t going to say goodbye to me?” he says forcefully.

“Like I said, I didn’t want to wake you up … I thought you were in your room already asleep. I would have called you tomorrow.”

He scoffs at me, “Yeah, like I’m going to believe that. Listen, Harp, I don’t know what happened with your mom or what tonight was about, but I really wish you would stay and talk to me.”

“I love you Connor, but I can’t talk to you or anybody about this. I just … I just need some time to figure everything out. Ok?” I ask, looking up at him.

“Ok, but I’m here for you,” he says coming closer and pulling me into a hug, “I am always here for you. I love you.”

He pulls my face to his and kisses me sweetly.