Harp's Song (9 page)

We sit there for what feels like an eternity, letting years of friendship surround us and I can’t move. I can’t do anything but think about his lips on my lips. I look down to his mouth and back up to his eyes.

He leans in and kisses the corner of my mouth and then he’s over my lips again, and this time I don’t sit still, I join him and feel friendship and passion. I get drunk on the total euphoria taking over my body. I move my hands into his hair pulling him closer to me. He teases my lips with his tongue and I respond opening my lips to him, causing a moan to escape from the back of my throat. I can’t get enough and I don’t want him to stop. His hand reaches the back of my head so I pull away breathing hard, and pull his hand into mine.

“So ….” I say looking down at our hands in my lap.

“So ….” He says back. I look up at him and see a smile pulling across his face and his eyes are a shimmering bright sea of green.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that, Harp.”

I look back down to hide the ridiculous blush that I can feel creeping up my chest, neck and face. But Connor knows me too well, and he chuckles, lifting my head with his finger under my chin.

“Don’t hide from me, ever. You have nothing to be embarrassed about with me,” he says before tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I know we have a lot to talk about, but we’ll have to do that after Ethan and Emma leave ‘cause they are pulling in now and we need to go inside.”

Between the kiss and the throbbing in my head, I’ve lost the ability to speak, so I nod in agreement.

“You’re staying with me tonight, right?”

“Um, yeah … Emma’s got my overnight bag in her car.”

“Good, we’ll talk then.”

Connor gets out of the truck to greet Ethan and Emma. I see Emma hold up bags from the grocery store with a giant smile on her face and I chuckle. I open my door and as I start to climb out, the ground becomes fuzzy. I shake my head to clear the cobwebs, but it doesn’t help, and I end up falling out of the truck into a pair of strong, familiar arms.

“Hey, are you ok?”

“Oh my God! What happened?” I hear Emma say.

Crap. The pressure against my head must have gotten to me and now—my headache is twice as bad as it was before.

“Take me inside, I just need some water. I need to sit down … too much stress tonight,” I manage to get out.

“You need ice cream, it solves everything,” Emma says seriously. “Come on, Harp, I got four cartons of ice cream all different flavors, so let’s dig in. I promise Ben & Jerry will make you feel better.”

Connor and I follow behind them, but when we get to the door he pauses, “Go ahead and get what you need from the kitchen and go downstairs, we’ll be there in a minute. I just want to talk to Harp real quick.”

He turns me to face him, and in an attempt to look strong and brave, I stare straight into his worried eyes.

“What happened when you stumbled out of the truck? As much as I’d like to think that was your reaction from my kiss, I know it wasn’t. Is there something wrong? Did Vincent touch you?”

“No, no, he didn’t do anything tonight. I promise. I told you everything that happened.”

“Then tell me, what was that about? Huh?”

“Nothing, it was the kiss. You know, now I understand why every girl in school throws herself at you,” I joke hoping to get him to back off.

“I know you’re lying to me right now and I don’t like it. I’m gonna ask again … what happened?”

Ugh. I can’t keep anything from him.

I look down and exhale, “I got in a fight with my mom tonight after school.”

“What did she do?” he says through gritted teeth.

“She found out about Oberlin and she lost it. I fell down in the bathtub and hit my head on the shower wall,” I look back up at him, “But I’m fine I promise … I feel better now. Really, I just need some ice cream and I’ll be good as new.”

“No. Harp. This is not ok. You …”

“Hey, what’s going on out here? We’ve been waiting for you guys downstairs—let’s go, come on. We need to celebrate,” he grabs me. Thank God for Ethan and his impeccable timing.

When we get downstairs, I can’t help but smile. Emma’s got all four containers of ice cream open on the coffee table and is holding a spoon out at me.

“Ice cream time!” She sings.

I laugh and take the spoon from her “Well, what flavors do we have here?”

“Americone Dream, Chunky Monkey, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and of course Cherry Garcia.”

“I don’t know which flavor I want first …”

“Why don’t you start on the left side and I’ll start on the right and then we can switch?”

“Excellent idea!”

I try my first spoonful of Cherry Garcia and its creamy sweetness soothes my palate as I look up and see Ethan and Connor playing darts.

“What do you think the guys are talking about? They look so serious,” I ask Emma.

“Hmmm … they do look serious. Probably just talking about the game, and strategy, you know? Sports stuff. Who cares? Let’s enjoy our ice cream. How about a movie?”

She turns on the large flat screen TV and finds Mean Girls on one of the cable stations. We settle into the couch alternating our containers of ice cream and laughing.

“Harp, baby, wake up, its time for bed.”

I’m woken up by the sound of Connor’s voice gently easing me from my slumber.

“What happened? What time is it?” I mumble.

Connor chuckles, “It’s midnight. You fell asleep on the couch watching a movie with Emma. They just left. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Mmmhmmm,” I yawn in agreement.

Connor helps me from the couch and I lean on him as we climb the first and second set of stairs to his room. On any other night I would have just crawled right into his bed without thinking. But once we’re in his room with the door shut, my mind wakes up and I remember the kiss from his truck, and I am suddenly very self-conscious.

“Here’s your bag. I’ll be back in a minute,” he says.

Once he’s gone, I go to his bathroom to change into my pajamas, wash my face free from all the makeup Emma put on me, and then brush my teeth.

“Its just Connor, Harp. Get a grip,” I say to my reflection in the mirror. The girl looking back at me looks so plain compared to the girl from just a few hours earlier. I wonder if Connor only kissed me because I looked so different before.

Hoping I’m done first, I peak around his bathroom door. When I don’t see him, I open the door the rest of the way and make a mad dash for the bed. As soon as I’m on it, I hear Connor laughing.

“Trying to beat me and pretend you’re asleep?”

My mouth drops open, “I, uh … no … I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tell him dismissively.

He continues to laugh and shake his head, “Get in bed. I’m going to turn out the lights.”

I do as he says and soon feel the bed shift under his weight.

“Harp open your eyes. It’s just me.”

“Only if you stop laughing at me.”

I hear him chuckle, “Ok, ok … I’m done laughing. Now, will you please open your eyes?”

I take a deep breath and slowly open my eyes. We are lying side by side, facing each other. Connor moves his hand up to my face, and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear before grazing my cheek with his thumb.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispers.

Thankfully, it’s dark and he can’t see me blush. His words and closeness … I’ve never had anyone tell me that before. It feels nice but I’m reluctant to believe it.

“Stop doubting yourself.” he says kissing my right cheek.

“You are talented,” he says kissing my forehead.

“And smart,” he’s kissing the tip of my nose.

“And the most beautiful person I know inside and out,” He’s hovering over my lips. I look into his eyes as he watches his thumb trace my lips.

I close my eyes and feel my heart flutter. My stomach flips like I’m on a roller coaster just starting to take the dip down after the long climb up. I open my eyes and see him looking at me.

“I know this seems sudden for you, but Harp, I’ve liked you for a long time. There’s never been anyone else, even though I’ve tried to get you out of my mind by dating other girls. No one can compare to you. I want us to be … together.”

I see his eyes are filled with genuine emotion. I know he’s waiting on me but I don’t know what to say, so instead I lean into him. I’m so close that our lips are slightly touching, and I can feel the warmth of his breath on me again. I close my eyes and kiss him tenderly.

We pull apart and a smile tugs at my lips, “Ok.”

“Ok,” he says kissing me again. He tugs my bottom lip. I can feel heat in this kiss from my toes all the way to my head, I’m tingling all over and I don’t want to stop. We kiss and pull each other closer, my arm wrapping around his neck while my hand fists in his hair. His hand skims over my shoulder leaving a trail of goose bumps before moving down my back and pulling me into him. We lay there pressed into each other and kiss until I pull away to get some air.

“Wow,” I say trying to recover.

“I know,” Connor says with a huge grin across his face.

We lay there for a few minutes just taking each other in and catching our breath.

“I don’t think your mom is going to let us sleep together anymore when she finds out.”

“Crap, you’re probably right. Guess that means we have to make the most of it tonight,” he wiggles his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

“Let’s not get carried away,” I lightly smack his solid arm.

“Ok, ok … you’re right. Let’s get some sleep.”

Once my back is completely pressed into his chest I sigh fully content.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” he says breaking our silence.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I was scared you didn’t feel the same way. I know how closed off you are and that makes you oblivious to things sometimes, so I knew you only thought of me as a friend. But seeing you dressed like that and hearing you go off on Vincent … I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself tonight.”

“So you weren’t really mad at me for being dressed like that?

“No, I wasn’t mad, I was totally turned on. You are always so in control. You keep your emotions to yourself, and I don’t know, I guess seeing you stand up for yourself was hot.”

“Hmmm, I’ll have to remember that,” I say turning over to face him, I press my hand to his cheek and kiss him. Our kisses become more urgent and my hands are roaming over his shoulders and back.

“As much as I would love to keep doing that tonight, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Let’s get some sleep.”

I nod my head reluctantly because I know he’s right. Yawning, I turn over again, his arm wraps around my waist, holding me firmly to him.

“Hmmm … that feels nice,” I wake up to the feel of small kisses all over my face.

“Finally, you’re awake. I’ve been kissing you forever … not that I’m complaining,” he smirks before showering me with more kisses.

I put my hands on either side of his face and roll onto my back so he’s hovering above me.

“Morning,” I say pulling his face to mine, but right before our lips meet, I remember, “Oh my God, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet … you can’t kiss me! Gross.”

Connor laughs, “Harp, I don’t care. You’re perfect to me.”

“No way, I need to brush my teeth first. Move, so I can go to the bathroom.”

I squirm underneath him, but can’t move and he’s laughing at me. He’s just too damn strong. This is so unfair.

“Connor, I’m serious. MOVE.”

“No, Harp. I will not move. When I told you last night how I felt about you, I meant it. That means I’m crazy about all of you. I love feisty Harp, cello Harp, singing Harp, casual Harp, fun Harp, serious Harp, smart aleck Harp, quiet Harp, sad Harp, and most of all, bed-head Harp … specially after you’ve spent the night in my arms.”

How am I supposed to compete with that? I feel like my insides have melted with this proclamation. So, I do the only thing I can, and pull his face down to mine and kiss him. He groans and uses his left arm to hold himself over me. His right hand skims down my torso to my hip where he presses circles into my stomach, making me shiver.

We finally pull away breathing heavy, “I could get used to that kind of wake up call.”

“Me too,” he laughs and rolls off me.

We lay there for a few minutes holding hands, catching our breaths.

“What do we do about your mom?” I finally ask breaking our silence.

“I think we should figure out what we’re doing first and then tell her.”

“Ok, what are we doing? You called me your girlfriend last night. Is that what this is? A relationship?”

He turns on his side facing me and raises his head on his hand. I flip and do the same so I can look at him.

“That’s what I want. But, I sprang this on you last night, if you need time to think about it, then I understand. I won’t pressure you … well, unless you take a long-ass time.”

I think about last night and his kisses this morning. It is somewhat sudden for me. I’m not good at being vulnerable. As close as I am with him now, there is still a lot I keep to myself. Plus, Connor is my best friend and I don’t want to lose that if this doesn’t work between us.