Harrison Towers, Memoirs of a Mogul (Glass Towers Trilogy) (15 page)

As I move off her I stand up and try to re-focus and as I do so, I realize that in my stupor, I mistook Marion for Adelaide.

Oh the devil has taken my soul. My God, what have I done? I reach down, grab my shirt laying there, and wipe myself off while my body sways fighting to stay upright.

The next thing I remember is her voice shrieking at me about calling her the wrong name and the room spinning. Then everything fades to black.

I slowly sit up on the sofa I am draped over. My head is pounding so hard, it feels like I have a vice grip tightly attached to it. My back and butt burns from being scratched. Looking around the room, furniture is turned over, clothes are strewn everywhere and two empty bottles lay in the middle of the floor. Trying to get up, I push my hands below me and the room spins… I feel sick. I manage to push off the sofa after a second try and stumble my way to the bathroom noticing a passed out Marion in my bed.

After getting sick, I get into the shower and turn the water on cold. I sit down on the marble shower floor in a hunched over position. I am sickened. I am horrified that I slept with the person who I hate most. What the hell is the matter with me! What transpired with Marion keeps playing over and over in my mind. I can’t escape the visuals of my body connected to hers, lips on lips, bodies mashed together. I wish I could wash my mind clean. No amount of time in this shower is going to cleanse the dirty, soiled feeling I have. I sold out to the devil and I lost. The bitch has won.

I wash myself over and over scrubbing my skin almost raw. How could I betray Adelaide in this way, and forsake her memory. I step out of the shower and dry myself off. I look into the mirror and despise the man looking back at me. I spit at my reflection while I wrap the towel around my hips. In the bedroom, Marion is still lying sprawled across the bed. I quietly walk past her and get dressed. I walk back out into the main room and retrieve most of her clothes. I bring them with me into the room and throw them on her.

“Get up.” I say in a loud stern voice. She doesn’t stir. I firmly shake her. “Get up!” She opens one eye and looks at me with a furrow of her brow.

“What? What time is it?”

“It’s 4:30 in the morning, now get up!” I pull my suitcase out of the closet place it on the edge of the bed and begin packing my belongings.

She props herself up on her elbow and then growls, “Why are you up and packing? Seriously, what the hell are you doing?” She pats the bed beside her, “Why don’t you come to bed, we can talk about this in the morning.”

I muster up some self-control because every fiber of my being wants to shout at her, probably waking the entire floor. Taking a deep breath I silently count, one, two, three.

In a calm voice, “I am packing my bags and going home. Now get up and get dressed. Go back to your room and don’t ever try to contact me again.”

She is now sitting in the middle of the bed…naked…wearing a smug smile. God how I want to wipe that smug look off her face. What is wrong with this woman…what is wrong with me?

“Nobody is going to scold you for having sex with me. It was simply two lonely, drunk people on a business trip together. Nobody could find fault with that. Now come to bed and sleep the rest of your stupor off.” She crawls on all fours to find her way under the covers.

“NO!” I yell. I am going home, and you are leaving my room.” I pick up her dress and chuck it at her.

She lets it land next to her on the bed and sticks her bottom lip out.

“Aren’t you a little old for the pouty school girl look? It’s not working on me. I’m not going to ask you again. Get dressed!”

“You are really disappointing me. I thought we’d go for another round. How about we knock another one out? You can take out your aggressions on me…I can take it, just don’t call me by the wrong name again.”

“Do you hear yourself? Where is your self-respect? Nevermind, don’t answer.”

I retrieve my personal items in the bathroom and then pack them in my case. I remember my tuxedo in the sitting room. When I go out there I look at the scene before me and feel completely nauseated all over again. I am so disgusted with myself but I can’t focus on that right now. I finish restoring the furniture and picking up the rest of the mess. Back in the bedroom I discover she is refusing to get dressed, she is still in bed with no clothes on. I throw her panties and shoes onto the bed next to her. I finish stowing away my belongings and close the case. Placing my jacket over my arm I start to head out the door and then I turn back. I see tears are forming in her eyes. Once again I count to three and take a deep cleansing breath.

“Save the tears for some other poor sap who gives a shit. This was nothing more than a one night enormous mistake. Don’t fool yourself for one minute that it was anything more than that. You must have a low self-esteem to throw yourself at me like that. Let me just assure you that will never happen again.” She starts to speak but I shake my head, “Do yourself a favor and don’t say a word. I have had enough of you. Don’t bother going back to your room, feel free to stay here but keep in mind I am checking out.”

I don’t wait for an answer, I leave the room, stopping off at the front desk to check out making sure she doesn’t have any services or amenities at my expense.

I manage to purchase two first class seats next to each other. This way I don’t have to deal with anyone on the long flight home. I am flying to straight to Oregon. I have a layover in New York with nothing but time to think about how  I have dishonored Adelaide’s memory and for that, I have to pay for it with my own guilt.

One year later, I am back in Montreal for my parent’s 40th wedding anniversary. Its late spring and a lot has progressed in my life. I have been learning to live without Adelaide. It has been hard to let her go but I have made peace with things as best I can. I have sunk myself into my work. I have both of my big projects coming to completion within the next year.

I am throwing my parents a huge bash to celebrate their anniversary. I invited all of their friends and our extensive family. While the Devereauxs are invited, I am hoping Marion does not come. After the one nightstand with her in Paris last fall, I have gone back to avoiding her as much as humanly possible. The difficulty is that she still consults at both my winery and Towers Enterprises. I email with her out of necessity and we occasionally attend some of the same meetings and functions that I couldn’t avoid. With that, I have not interacted with her. I catch her looking at me but I do not return her gaze. I treat her like she is invisible.

At the advice of my therapist, I have begun dating casually again. Truth be told though, nobody holds a candle to Adelaide. I try not to compare but I can’t help myself. There was such a sweetness and raw honesty about her. Women like her are a rare breed especially when you consider I am a wealthy man. It’s always hard to know if someone is interested in me, or my money and I am just not ready to invest anyway. I prefer no strings attached, no expectations. It’s hard to find a woman who doesn’t want a ring on her finger so I remain prone to superficial entanglements that are easy to walk away from. There are plenty of those kinds of women around. They tend to be too young and too eager…making them easy to spot. I never want for someone warming my bed. I know Adelaide would never approve but I have to stop viewing everything I do as something I need to seek her approval. It’s not a sustainable way to live.

At the anniversary party, old friends and family got up, gave speeches, and toasted to the couple. Toward the end of the evening, I look over and see how my father looks at my mother. I know that I would have had that with her if we’d had the chance. I get that old empty feeling back, one that I have spent over three years trying to get past. At the end of the evening as I am walking out to my car my father stops me.

“Son, thank you for the party. It was wonderful and your mother had a fantastic time. I don’t know how you tracked down everyone from our wedding party.”

“I know! It’s hard to believe they are all still alive.” He laughs. “I got a little help from Garrin, he really did most of the work tracking them all down. I’m glad you had a good time. Seeing the look on mom’s face tonight made the whole night.” 

He pats me on the back.

“You are a good man, son. I pray every day that someday, you will find the love of your life to replace the love you have lost. Before you say anything, listen to this; someday you will meet someone who takes your breath away. Don’t dismiss it. Act on it. I don’t want you lonely the rest of your life. Besides, you still owe me an heir.” He winks at me.

“Okay father, I’ll take that under advisement.”Now, I have to head back to the airport to fly back to Portland on a red eye tonight.”

“So soon, you just got here yesterday!”

“Yes, I’m afraid so. I have a piece of property to look at Saturday morning that is just hitting the market. It’s a hot beachfront property that will no doubt go quick. Olivia has an inside track so I get to see it before it’s officially listed Monday.”

“My son, the real estate mogul. You work too hard.”

“Ha, look who is talking! I learned that from you. I’ll say goodbye to mom on my way out.”

“Son…I love you.” He says quickly and then looks away.

In all my almost forty-two years, I can only remember my father saying that to me a handful of times. The last of which at Adelaide’s service.

“I love you too father.” We give each a slap on the back and a sideways hug and then I take my leave of the opulent hotel ballroom.

After saying my goodbyes to my mom, I leave to head to the airport. On the ride,  I think about what my father said about being open to loving someone again. Hell, I would be tempted to let myself if I could find someone who measures up. I don’t have the same optimism as he. Furthermore, in all truth, even if I did meet someone worthy, I really don’t have the desire to risk the loss again. No. I am better off alone with companions from time to time.

Once I arrive back in Portland I head back to my condo in the Pearl to catch up on much needed sleep. I think I must have slept the entire day away. Its late in the afternoon as I head to my offices in a high rise building I had purchased last year. Since it’s a Friday night, none of my staff will be there. I am sitting in my glass-enclosed office and I see a reflection. At first I ignore and chalk it up to shadow play. I look back to my computer screen. But a few seconds later, I see it again. It’s like a faint female shadow…If I didn’t know any better, I would guess it were Adelaide. I get up from my seat and walk toward the reflection in the glass. As I get closer it seems more vivid. I barely recognize my voice as I say her name. Just as I reach the glass window, the image disappears and all I see is dusk and the city skyline. I shake my head realizing maybe I do work too hard. I turn around and let out a yell. Standing in the doorway to my office is that damned bitch, Marion.

“You just scared the hell out of me! What do you want…why are you here? How are you here in my office?”

She saunters in my office with a bemused look on her face. “Are you talking to yourself in here Harrison?” She laughs. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Stop right there. I’m not engaging in your rhetoric tonight. I’m too tired.”

‘Fine.” She pouts. “I was actually going out to the winery tonight. I just flew in but I thought there were some briefs for the fundraiser ready to go for my meeting Monday with Penelope that I needed to pick up. That’s the only reason I am here.”

I expel the air I was holding. I am relieved that it seems I may not need to fight her. “Ok so how do you have access to the offices after hours? I don’t recall issuing you pass cards and a key.”

“You didn’t but your secretary Hilary happily got that together for me. It seems ridiculous that I didn’t have access to my place of work.”

“This isn’t your place of work, you aren’t an employee. You are a contractor so therefore, you don’t have the same benefits as an employee. However, I’m not going to fight you on this because as a longtime contractor for the company, I do see the value of you have adequate access. But, no funny business Marion. I mean it. You do anything sideways toward me, and I go to the board.”

She makes a choking sound, “Do you realize any time we have a conversation these days you follow everything up with threatening to go to your board if I misbehave?”

“That’s because the few times we have spoken over the last several years, it’s about you being delusional and you wanting to control me somehow. It’s never actually about business with you, no matter what, it always gets personal with you. I am the one that got away and you can’t stand that.”

“You are so damned arrogant, you really do think everything revolves around you. I don’t care that you got away. I can still have you any time I want you. I proved that to you in Paris. Which by the way, I am still mad at how you just left me there after you ravaged every inch of my body. I didn’t realize you have resorted to use me and abuse me type of sex these days. You were never the one night stand kind of guy.”

“Well things change and I’m not actually having this conversation with you now or ever. Paris was a monumental mistake…one that I can assure you without a doubt will never in a million years happen again.”

“Oh that’s too bad, I liked how you took what you wanted and then threw me away.” Her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“If you are looking for an apology you won’t find one in this office. I’m leaving so you need to get whatever it is you came here for and leave as well. I despise you but I will at least make sure you make it safely to your car.”

I snatch a stack of papers off the desk, usher her out of the room, and then lock it. I wait for her to get the items she came here for and we leave the offices together. In the elevator down she tried to make small talk but I didn’t engage. We walk to her car and once she is in, I turn to leave. “I know you hate me, for reasons I can’t figure out, but can’t we just get past this. I really would like to extend the olive branch.”

My blood is starting to boil and before I unleash on her, I try the exercise my therapist gave me again and count to three. I turn around and face her looking at her through her rolled down window, “I have reason to believe that you had Adelaide hunted and killed. I haven’t been able to prove it yet, but when I do, I will have you lynched for what you did.”  I start to turn but add my final say, “I have no choice but to comply by my father and boards decision to continue to work with you and your family’s business. As such, since we are forced to work together, I will agree to remain civil for professional purposes only. Do not ever make the mistake of thinking that because I am civil I have changed my feelings toward you. In fact, when you harassed and killed Adelaide and the baby, with her death, you died too. You are dead to me and are merely someone I have to deal with in business. Nothing more. And let myself be clear, I am only allowing you into Towers Enterprises, not Towers Holdings. My investment and development firm is none of your concern.”

Her mouth is poised to speak but nothing comes out. I find it hard to believe she is speechless. “Do you understand Marion?”

“What baby? I don’t know what you are talking about?”

“Oh come on, playing stupid is not going to work on me. You know damned well Adelaide was pregnant.”

She shakes her head then the words come tumbling out, “What the hell Harry? I did NOT know she was pregnant, and  I did nothing to Adelaide, she was never right for you anyway. I will happily keep my distance from you, you arrogant asshole. Someday you will come to see that you and I were meant to be, you have just lost your way.” She starts up her car and throws it in drive, “Get out of my way before I run your ass over.”  I jump to the side as she turns the wheel sharply so as to swerve her car in my direction then she angles it to speed out of the garage ramp.

What a bitch.

I walk over to my black Range Rover SUV and get in. I sit staring at the cement wall for a few minutes letting my pulse return to normal. I always feel sick to my stomach after my interactions with her. It’s like she is the plague and sucks the life out of me. Before she interrupted me in my office, I had that weird experience where I saw Addy in the window. I know that’s not what I really saw and that it was my mind playing tricks on me. I wonder if it means I have a problem, like a psychosis. I sure hope not. After everything I have been through I hope it is from my fatigue and nothing more.

Monday morning I roll into Cannon beach bright and early. After a good night’s sleep, I woke up extra early and made the hour and half drive to catch the sunrise on my surfboard. When I arrived to my condo, I threw my things onto the floor in the living room and suited up for the cold early summer Pacific Ocean. Hell, this ocean is always cold but later in the season it is more bearable. This morning is especially glorious with a cornflower blue sky and crispness in the air. I lay on my board and paddle past the break line and then I sit straddling the board just in time to watch the rest of the sunrise in the East. The red and orange glow touching the treetops on the distant mountains catches my breath for a moment. All of the sudden, I feel hopeful. My chest isn’t as heavy as usual. Feeling a burst of exuberance, I surf my brains out for the next hour. I chat with some of the other regulars to this spot. Conditions have been crummy lately so today they are showing up by the droves. I feel the energy and excitement spreading like wild fire. Yes, I do believe today is going to be a good day. I just might surf the rest of the day after I view the property with Olivia.

After I head back to the condo and get showered, I drive down Highway 101 to meet Olivia at the property. I feel youthful today like somehow a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am not sure as to what has changed or what I can attribute this feeling to. Perhaps it was setting things straight with Marion last  night. Or maybe it was my so-called apparitional visit. It could be none of that but the results of a good night’s sleep. No matter what, I want to keep this feeling, it kind of feels like
me
again.