Have a New Husband by Friday
Read Have a New Husband by Friday Online
Authors: Kevin Leman
Tags: #Family & Relationships, #Marriage & Long Term Relationships, #Religion, #Christian Life, #Love & Marriage, #Marriage
Are You a Candidate
to Read This Book?
Take our quiz to find out. Simply mark Y for Yes or N for No on the line before each entry.
About You
___Some days you ask yourself,
Why do I bother to do nice things
for my husband? He doesn’t even notice them.
___You wonder,
What’s in it for me?
___You fear the word
divorce
.
___Sometimes you just don’t get him.
___Sometimes you feel like a hired servant (and your pay isn’t worth it).
___You wonder if he really loves you, if he really cares.
___You’re the one who always takes the initiative for anything you do as a couple.
___You feel like you’re the only one holding the family together.
___You’re not sure you really need—or want—your husband anymore.
___You wonder where your knight in shining armor went.
About Your Husband
___He never (or rarely) listens to you, even when you have something important to say.
___He’s a good guy but clueless about how you really feel about anything.
___He never helps out around the house.
___When he’s angry, he freezes you out.
___You ask him a question and you don’t get an answer. You wonder if he’s hard of hearing—or just ignoring you.
___He’s singly focused on his work and other projects, and you don’t seem to come into his radar.
___ He doesn’t give you much respect.
___He takes you and everything you do for granted.
___He is abusive in words and/or actions.
___He’s a romantic no-show. (Flowers once a year on Valentine’s Day just isn’t enough.)
___He treats you like a slave, at his beck and call.
___You have to remind him over and over again if there’s something you want him to do.
About Your Relationship
___Sometimes you wonder,
Where’s the man I dated? The man I married?
___Marriage isn’t anything like what you’d dreamed of, and you have to admit you’re disappointed.
___ Late at night you wonder if your marriage is going to make it.
___You have active and continual conflict.
___The romance is long gone.
___Your communication could use some improvement. (You’re a little tired of talking to yourself.)
___You wish your relationship was so much more than it is.
___You wish you had a great marriage like your best friend’s.
___You’re the only one trying to make the marriage work.
If any of these topics resonated with you and you marked even one Y, you need to not only
read
this book but
carry it around with you
.
This book will scratch where you itch.
I promise.
Have a new husband by Friday? Is it possible?
To tell you the truth, it’s a scam. You can have a new husband by
Wednesday
if you do it right. Keep reading, and I’ll show you how.
This is the miracle turnaround you’re longing for.
I guarantee it.
Have a
New
Husband
by Friday
Have a
New
Husband
by Friday
How to Change His
A
ttitude,
B
ehavior &
C
ommunication
in
5 Days
Dr. Kevin Leman
© 2009 by Kevin Leman
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Printed in the United States of America
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Leman, Kevin.
Have a new husband by Friday : how to change his attitude, behavior & communication in 5 days / Kevin Leman.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-8007-1912-8 (cloth)
1. Marriage—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Title.
BV835.L46 2009
646.78—dc22
2009008746
ISBN 978-0-8007-3307-0 (ITPE)
To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with the author, some details and names have been changed.
To Mrs. Uppington, the best wife and friend I could ever have. I thank God for the day I met you (in the men’s restroom), and that you said yes more than 45 years ago, in the field behind my parents’ home. (I always was a romantic.) I know that as a little girl you prayed to someday have a man of character. But God has a sense of humor; he decided a character would do.
What a class act you are, Mrs. Uppington—a terrific mom and a delightful woman to share life with. It’s been a great ride, hasn’t it? What could be better than five great kids who love us and love each other? You’ve enriched not only my life with your beauty, strength, kindness, and thoughtfulness, but countless others.
With love, Leemie
Contents
Introduction
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Yes, you’re different species, but you can work together in harmony
Tuesday
Creatures from Another Planet . . . or Creatures of Habit?
To understand men, you have to track ’em to their den
Are You Trying to Turn Your Zebra into a Horse?
Wednesday
Think about What You Want to Say, Then Divide It by Ten
How to talk so your guy will really listen . . . and listen so your guy will really talk
Thursday
Think of Him as a Seal Waiting for a Three-Pound Fish
Friday
It Takes a Real Woman to Make a Man Feel Like a Real Man
Take this quick quiz to find out if your gut is on the money or off the mark
Epilogue
It’s Not Easy, but It’s Simple
The Top Ten Countdown to Having a New Husband by Friday
What Would You Do If . . . ? Quiz Answers
Resources
by Dr. Kevin Leman
Who said a man doesn’t need a woman? In my case, I need lots of them, including these three wonderful women:
Jessica Miles, my Revell project editor, for her keen eye and helpful contributions that make this puppy sing.
Lonnie Hull DuPont, who somehow gives her work the personal touch and still keeps up with the flurry of projects passing her desk.
Ramona Cramer Tucker, who shares my passion for helping families build solid relational foundations—and encouraging them to smile and laugh along the way.
Introduction
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Do you remember those first euphoric moments you shared with your spouse after you’d become one? The dreams, the hopes, the desires that came along with that excitement? The nights you talked and cuddled in each other’s arms BC (before children)?
But perhaps it seems like you’re dredging up ancient history by this point. You’ve been married 5 years, 8 years, 17 years, or 27 years, and you’ve moved past euphoria and into reality (just long enough for the wedding flowers to wilt). You don’t always like this guy you married. Some days he annoys you; some days he downright exasperates you. The last time you heard “I love you” was on Valentine’s Day two years ago. You’re tired of your “discussions,” and you often seem to be at cross purposes. You wish he’d listen better, be a better daddy, and get off the couch every once in a while during football season.
You find yourself struggling to keep the marriage fresh and exciting. You’ve fallen into a rut. You wonder,
How did we get this way anyway?
Life with the knight of your dreams has turned into boredom with no hope of reprieve. You’d like to find a little excitement again.
Or perhaps you deal day in and day out with verbally or physically abusive or controlling men. You’re beaten down, tired, and not sure if you want a new husband . . . at least not the one you have. You’re ready to trade your old model in for good, but you’ve decided to give it one last-ditch effort to see if you want to save your marriage. (Hang on. I have a special section just for you.)
So many couples settle for so little in marriage when they could have so much. Don’t fall for it. The truth is, after 10, 25, or 35 years, your marriage can be as rich and full and wonderful and exciting and sensual as you can possibly imagine! I ought to know. I’ve been married for over 40 years—in a row to the same woman—and we’re still going as strong as the Energizer Bunny.
Some things in this book you’ll like, others you won’t. You can feel free to argue with me at any time. All I ask is that you hear me out. You picked up this book for a reason. The title attracted you. Who wouldn’t want a new husband by Friday? Every woman is, at heart, a “Martha” Luther—a reformer. And she has plans for her man.
Is it possible?
you wonder.
I’ve been working on him for years, and I’ve never been able to change him. Now this psychologist guy says I can get a new husband by Friday? This I gotta see! But if it works . . .
Yes, the principles in this book do work. They’ve been tried out in thousands of relationships with very successful results. Best of all, they’re simple. You don’t need to schedule three luncheons with your girlfriends to discuss them and figure them out. Your man is a very simple creature. If you do a few things right and consistently to get his attention, you’ll be surprised by how simple this really is. Hopefully
then
you’ll call your girlfriends and say, “Hey, you’re going to have to read this book. It works incredibly well!”
Follow these principles, and you’ll have your new husband by Friday. He’ll do anything for you. Got that?
Anything.
Covers the waterfront, doesn’t it? That means you’ll have a husband who wants to please you emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually. He’ll be your equal partner, helping out with any task that needs doing.
Have a New Husband by Friday
is a simple game plan you can follow. It’s not easy, but it’s simple. The changes you’ll see in your husband’s attitude, behavior, and communication will astound you. I guarantee it.
It all starts with getting to know this two-legged creature you walked down the aisle with.
Yes, you’re different species, but you can work together in harmony.
“Hey, honey, where’s the Weber’s mustard?” I asked, standing in the kitchen with the door of the refrigerator wide open.
“It’s right in the fridge,” my wife said from two rooms away.
I attempted to cram more of my torso inside the door to look, then stood up again. “No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is,” Sande insisted, “on the right side.”
I took another forlorn look, shrugged, and called again, “No, it’s not.”
I couldn’t see Sande, but I could just imagine her rolling her eyes in slow motion. After all, this scene had played out countless times in our marriage.
Sande swept into the kitchen, walked to the fridge, opened the door that I had closed in despair, and grabbed the item I was searching for. “Could
this
be what you were looking for?” Mrs. Uppington said with an expression that conveyed how really stupid I was. Then she bounced back to her work, shaking her head.