Having His Baby (15 page)

The pole lights cast a mellow yellow-white glow over the roadhouse parking lot. A warm summer breeze rustled through the nearby treetops, but did nothing to alleviate the humidity in the air. Off in the distance, thunder rumbled and shards of heat lightning crackled in the sky. Tim McGraw's distinctive voice drifted outside, coming from one of the CDs the owners of the Pale Rider played during the local band's twenty-minute break. The music mixed and mingled with the other night sounds—a car horn down the highway, the cicadas' buzzing chant, the far-off thunder and the loud beating of two hearts. The lyrics to "One of These Days" told the story of love, rejection, heartache and self-worth.

Donna lay beneath Jake, not assisting him, but not hindering him, either, as he pulled off her shoes and finished removing her jeans. Her femininity tightened, sending an almost unbearable ache through her entire body. "You want to make love here?" she asked. "In the back of your Jeep?"

"Yeah, right here and now!" Rising up and over her, he straddled her hips, then slid her panties down and off.

"Jake, we can't!" She tried to shove him away, but she couldn't budge his large, muscular body. "Not here. What if someone sees us?"

"Nobody's going to see us." Hurriedly, Jake undid his jeans, then cupped her hips and lifted her up to him. "Not if we hurry."

"You're crazy!" Laughing, she grabbed his shoulders and urged him to take her. She'd never wanted anything more.

"We're both crazy, sugar!" He thrust, deeply, completely, taking her with the urgency his body demanded.

"Oh, Jake!" She clung to him, reveling in the feel of him deep inside her. There was no sensation on earth as exquisite as joining her body to his, in becoming one with Jake.

He was right—they were both crazy. But she didn't care. As with every other time she'd been in Jake's arms, nothing mattered except the two of them and the uncontrollable desire that dominated their actions. As if they were two mindless creatures, unable to resist the hot, sizzling passion that ignited between them every time they touched, they made love.

"You're so hot and wet and tight," he moaned against her breast, then suckled her through the barrier of her blouse and bra.

She writhed beneath him as his scorching, wet mouth took hers in a kiss that sent off skyrockets inside her head. With each hard, demanding lunge of his body, Jake claimed her, branded her and made her his.

She could feel herself on the verge of unraveling, coming
apart completely. She wanted to make it last, for the incredible sensations to go on and on forever, but she knew the end was near.

"Faster," she murmured, matching him thrust for thrust.

In a voice dark and deep and barely human, barely audible, he made crude, savage utterances that excited her beyond all reason.

Jake's body tightened. He gritted his teeth. Donna dug her nails into his lean hips and cried out, asking him for all he had to give. The moment he accelerated the pounding pace, completion crashed over her like a tidal wave of pleasure. She screamed his name and strummed her throbbing body against his until she drained every ounce of fulfillment from her climax.

Before the last aftershocks rippled through Donna, Jake jetted into her. His climax was so intense that he shuddered and moaned repeatedly as the uncontrollable sensations rippled along his nerve endings.

Collapsing on top of her, he sought her lips with his. Kiss after hungry kiss, they clung to each other. There in the dark confinement of his Jeep, they lay together, listening to their ragged breaths and thumping hearts.

Thunder rumbled closer. Sky-to-ground heat lightning drew nearer. Jake rolled over and off Donna, zipped his jeans and rummaged around, seeking hers. When he found them, he helped her into them, then grabbed her hands and pulled her out of the Jeep.

"Let's go home, sugar," he said.

"Jake, I—"

"No more talking," he told her. "That's when we get in trouble—when we talk." He opened the passenger door.

"But we'll have to talk, sooner or later." She allowed him to help her into the Jeep.

"Let's make it later. Much later." He slammed the door, rounded the hood and got in on the driver's side.

"Jake, please, listen to me," she said when he inserted the key into the ignition.

He paused, turned to her and snorted. "No, you listen to me for a change. I don't care what you say about not wanting me in your bedroom or your bed, or if you think you're still in love with your dead husband. I'm telling you that you're lying to yourself."

" Please … you don't understand—"

"No woman would do what you did tonight unless she cares about a man. Don't you see? You were jealous." Jake started the engine and backed the Jeep out of the parking place.

"I wasn't jealous!"
Liar,
that pesky inner voice chided.
Liar, liar, pants on fire!
Oh, shut up! she told herself.

"The hell you weren't! You
were
very jealous." Chuckling, Jake glanced her way as he drove onto the highway and headed toward home.

"I went to the Pale Rider tonight to keep you from making a big mistake." Donna crossed her arms over her chest. "You would have regretted having sex with that woman."

"You want to know the truth?" Jake blew out a deep, steadying breath. "The only way I could have made love to her or any other woman was if I'd pretended she was you."

Jake kept his gaze riveted to the dark road ahead. He'd just made a major confession, something he wasn't accustomed to doing. He'd never been the type for baring his soul to anyone, least of all to a woman. But Donna wasn't just any woman. She was Sugar Baby's mama—and she was his wife.
His wife.
The more he said it, the better he liked it. How was it possible that one fiery redheaded Southern belle had caught him, roped him and branded him with so little effort, when dozens of other women had tried and failed?

Donna sat quietly, uncertain how to respond to Jake's comment.
Don't care about me,
she wanted to tell him.
Because I can't let myself love you. Not ever.

She cleared her throat. "I came after you tonight to stop you from embarrassing me again. You made such a fool of yourself and of me this afternoon, in front of my study club, that I didn't want Louisa's father to do something even worse." She stole a glance at Jake, who didn't so much as flinch. "I did what I did for Louisa's sake."

"Is that so?" Jake clenched the steering wheel with white-knuckled fierceness. "You made love with me in the back of this Jeep for Louisa's sake?"

"No, that's not what I meant and you know it!"

"Were you hoping we'd make a little brother or sister
for
Louisa?" Jake grinned wickedly.

"Oh, my God! We didn't use any protection!"

"No, we didn't," he said. "So there's no telling what might result from our little tumble. After all, I used a condom every time, last summer, and you still got pregnant with Louisa."

Groaning with self-disgust, Donna covered her face with her hands. "My life has been one long, insane roller-coaster ride ever since you showed up at Susan and Hank's wedding!"

"Are you complaining or telling me that you've enjoyed the ride?" Jake's laughter rumbled like the thunder that seemed to be chasing them.

"How can you laugh about something so serious?"

"You know, sugar, that's one of your problems—you can't laugh about anything lately. You're so uptight about things that you won't allow yourself to enjoy what we have together."

"And just what do we have together?" she asked, her voice sharp, her tone snappish.

"You can ask me that, after what we just shared?" Jake shook his head. "Dammit, woman! Why can't you admit how you really feel about me? Why can't you accept the fact that, despite what your snooty friends think, you and I are good together? And we're good
for
each other. Half the marriages in the world aren't based on anything as strong as what we share."

Jake was right. He knew it. She knew it. But did she dare admit that she agreed with him?

"I figure the longer we stay married, the more likely we are to make a go of it," he said. "I know the idea of marrying an uneducated, penniless cowboy wasn't exactly appealing to you, but I think you should know that I'm not really—"

"It's all right," she said. "It doesn't matter to me that you don't have a formal education or a lot of money. I realized quite some time ago that you're an intelligent man, who has a lot of common sense and has acquired quite a bit of knowledge from the life you've lived. And as far as your being penniless … well, that's something you'll change once you buy the ranch and—"

"I bought the ranch."

"What?"

"That was one of the things I planned to tell you, but we never got around to discussing—"

"Did you get a bank loan?"

"Not exactly."

Just come right out and tell her. Tell your wife that you paid cash for the quarter horse ranch. Tell her that you're far from penniless.

"You had to have borrowed the money … oh, the bank turned you down. Then how—Caleb loaned you the money, didn't he?"

"Donna, I—"

She reached over and caressed his cheek. "Don't be ashamed that you had to ask your brother for help. You'll pay him back every penny. I know you will."

"You sure do have a lot of faith in me." Jake felt like the lowest of the low for lying to Donna—even if it was lying by omission.

"You're going to make Louisa very proud of you. You'll succeed with the ranch. You'll do it for your daughter."

"I'd like my daughter … and any other children I might have, to grow up on the ranch. It's an ideal place to raise kids. Fresh air. Wide-open spaces. Trees to climb. Horses to ride. And the house could be renovated."

"Jake, I probably didn't get pregnant tonight," Donna said softly. "You know the odds are against it."
Please, God,
she silently prayed,
I
can't be pregnant again. If I am, I'll never be able to leave Jake. Letting him go is already difficult enough.

"Yeah, I know, but if we stay married, we could have more kids. Wouldn't you like to give Sugar Baby some brothers and sisters?"

"One child is quite enough …"

"By the way, who's taking care of our girl?" Jake asked.

"Sheila's with her."

"Ah, so my sister-in-law is the one who informed you where you could find me tonight."

Donna stared directly at Jake, suddenly realizing just why he'd gone to see Caleb and told his brother about his plans to get drunk and pick up a willing woman. "You wanted me to know! You knew I'd come after you! Why you—" Donna spluttered. "You egotistical—" she balled her hands into tight fists, gritted her teeth and screeched "—maniacal bastard, you!"

Jake steered the Jeep off the road, onto the edge of an open field. He killed the motor, unsnapped his safety belt and Donna's, then reached over and pulled her into his arms. Before she could say another word, he kissed her.

She broke the kiss, shoved him away and glared at him. Jake leaned back against the driver's side door, crossed his muscular arms over his broad chest and grinned. She wanted to slap that self-assured smile off his face, but she didn't. She sat there fuming, uncertain what to say or do next. Jake had a way of using even her own fury against her.

"I told you that we always get in trouble when we talk," he said. "We both wind up saying things we can't take back. So let's make a pact, at least for tonight." He held out his hand.

She stared suspiciously at his outstretched hand. "What sort of pact?"

"Just for the rest of the night, we aren't going to discuss our marriage—the pros and cons—why we should or shouldn't stay married. No more arguing. About anything."

"We can't put off—"

He pressed his right index finger over her lips. "Yes, we can. For one night. You'd like to spend the night in my arms, wouldn't you, sugar? Admit it to yourself, if not to me. And God knows, I want one more night in your bed."

One more night could lead to a lifetime of sweet loving nights, he told himself. Sooner or later, Donna would stop loving her dead husband and open up her heart to the possibility of sharing her life with another man. He intended to be that man. He could make Donna happy, if she'd give him half a chance.

Donna knew she could lie to Jake, but she wouldn't. No more lies. Not now or in the future. She could not allow herself to love him, but she could be honest with him. Tomorrow, she would tell him why they couldn't stay married. "You're right," she told him. "I would like to spend the night in your arms."