Having His Baby (11 page)

Jake stood in the middle of the bedroom, his arms crossed over his chest, his gaze fixed on the sleeping woman. Never before had he felt so much like a man—a man in charge of his world, taking care of what belonged to him. All his life he had avoided responsibilities and commitments, always uncertain whether or not he was capable of making a relationship work. He'd never thought of himself as husband and father material. But today's events had proven something to him, something vitally important to his future. Not only had he
been there
for his wife and child, he had actually taken charge of the situation.

He'd been scared—more frightened that he'd ever admit to anyone. In a few short weeks his daughter had become the center of his universe. He'd never thought it possible to love someone so much. And he knew Donna loved their child in the same way.

Jake lifted the quilt folded at the foot of the bed and
spread it over Donna's sleeping form. She'd been emotionally exhausted by the time they arrived home an hour ago. He had insisted she rest and let him look after Louisa. She hadn't resisted the suggestion, indeed, she had readily agreed.

He couldn't forget the gratitude in her eyes or the way she'd said,
I'm so glad we have you. All I could think about was that I wanted you and needed you.
He chose to believe that those words had come straight from her heart and that she wouldn't take them back later.

Jake liked the idea of her needing him, wanting him. Of her being glad he was a part of Louisa's life—a part of her life. If anyone had told him six months ago that not only would he soon be a husband and father, but that he actually would have demanded those roles, he wouldn't have believed them.

Jake enjoyed watching Donna—awake or asleep. She possessed a fiery beauty that aroused him on numerous levels. He would like nothing better than to lie beside her, waken her with kisses and undress her slowly. Just the thought of taking her with the same hot passion they'd known last summer hardened his body painfully. She was his wife and yet she wasn't.
In name only.
His mind might accept that stipulation, but his body didn't.

Turning abruptly so that he didn't have to look at the woman he so desperately wanted, Jake gazed down into the basinet. Louisa stared up at him with dark brown eyes identical to his. He could never put into words the feelings inside him whenever he looked at his sweet baby girl. This child had changed his life irrevocably, giving it meaning and purpose. Maybe he'd never done anything right ever before, but he was going to get fatherhood right—no matter what it took.

"Hello, Sugar Baby," Jake whispered as he leaned over and lifted his little girl into his arms. "Let's you and me get out of here and let Mommy sleep. She's had a rough day. Your getting sick took a lot out of her. You'll find out that a mother gets awfully upset when anything happens to her baby."

Jake carried Louisa out into the hall and down the stairs. "Of course, daddies get upset, too, but since we're big, strong men, we have to pretend that we're not upset, that we've got it all together."

Louisa cooed and once again Jake could have sworn she smiled at him. "I'll bet you need a diaper change, don't you? I can handle that, but if you get hungry, we'll have to wake up your mama."

After entering the den, Jake laid Louisa down on the sofa, then reached over and pulled a diaper from the pastel polka dot diaper bag Donna had left lying on the cushions. He unsnapped his daughter's pink sleeper, but before he could remove her wet diaper, the phone rang. He cursed under his breath. Hurriedly, he slipped the clean diaper into place and secured the tabs, then lifted Louisa onto his shoulder and made it over to the phone by the fourth ring.

"Yeah!"

"Hello to you, too," Caleb said.

"Sorry," Jake chuckled. "I was in the middle of changing Sugar Baby's diaper and I was afraid the phone would wake Donna."

"So, how's everything going?"

"Fine."

"Have you got everything under control?" Caleb asked.

"I think so. Donna's resting and I'm taking care of my daughter."

"No more vomiting or diarrhea?"

"Nope. She seems right as rain."

"Sheila wanted me to make sure you didn't need us to come over tonight and help out."

"Thanks for offering, but we should be all right."

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a good father." Caleb cleared his throat. "If you ever start doubting yourself, stop and remember that you aren't our old man any more than Hank is or I am. There is no Bishop curse when it comes to fatherhood."

"I'll try to remember that."

"If you need us, give us a call."

"Yeah, thanks."

Jake sat in the rocker by the fireplace, laid Louisa in his lap and snapped her sleeper together. She wriggled and cooed. And Jake's heart swelled with love and pride.

"Caleb's right. I'm not my old man." He leaned over, brought Louisa's little fist to his lips and kissed her hand. "No matter how scared I am that I'll mess up, I'm going to do my darnedest to be a good father. I promise that I'll be around all the time and I'll take care of you—and your mother, too, if she'll let me."

Donna stood in the doorway; her breath caught in her throat as she listened to Jake's vows to their daughter. She was drawn to him in a way she'd never been to any other man—not even Edward. There was something so strong and capable about Jake, and yet so tender and kind. The man she had shared a weekend with last summer had been passionate and demanding and exciting—a lover she could never forget. But she hadn't guessed that inside J.B. there existed a loving, caring man, capable of being a good father to her child. She had neither expected nor wanted Jake Bishop to be a part of their lives, but circumstances had left her little choice but to marry him and accept him as Louisa's father.

Watching him with their child always stirred deep feelings within Donna, feelings she wanted no part of—now or ever. She could not—would not—allow herself to love Jake. But how could she stop herself from wanting him?

"Who was that on the phone?" she asked as she entered the den.

Jake jerked his head up and stared at Donna, his eyes wide with surprise. "Sorry, if it woke you. That was Caleb, checking on us."

"Did you tell him that you had everything under control? Wife tucked away in bed after her mini nervous breakdown and daughter safe in your arms."

"Yeah, I told him something like that." Jake caressed Louisa's back. "Feeling better after your nap?"

"Yes, thanks. I'm not nearly as shaky as I was." Donna sat on the sofa. "I've never been so frightened in my life. I had no idea what was wrong with Louisa."

"We can be grateful that it was something simple and that she recovered so quickly." Holding Louisa up to his face, Jake nuzzled her cheeks. "No more formula for you, huh, Sugar Baby? Just mother's milk from now on."

"Poor Lindsay. She was devastated." Donna glanced at Jake, her gaze resting on his parted lips. "You were so kind to her. Thank you for reassuring her that we didn't blame her."

"She was beating herself up over something that really wasn't her fault," Jake said.

"Jake—I … about what I said to you today …"

"What did you say to me?" He rocked Louisa, who lay perfectly content in his arms.

"About being glad that we had you and that I wanted you and needed you. I think I should explain what I meant."

"I assumed you meant exactly what you said, that you're glad Louisa has a father you can count on when you need him."

Donna breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, that's exactly what I meant. I know that, sometimes, my actions have been unforgivable. I even went so far as to tell you that you weren't the type of man I wanted for Louisa's father."

"Who could blame you?" Jake shrugged. "After all, I'm not much of a prize, am I?"

"No, that's not true. You
are
a prize." Donna averted her gaze from Jake's face. "The fact is, you are Louisa's father and you've done everything possible to prove to me that you can be a good father to her. I needed you today. I needed someone who loves Louisa just as much as I do, to share the trauma—the fear of losing her."

"No matter what happens between you and me, I'll always be around to help with my daughter. I don't ever want her wishing that I wasn't her old man."

"She's going to love you so much." Donna cleared her throat. "She already knows you and loves you."

"You don't mind that Sugar Baby and I have bonded?" Jake kissed his daughter's forehead, then held her against his chest.

"Jake, I … well …"

Rooting around on Jake's chest, Louisa whimpered. Jake stood, walked over and handed his daughter to her mother. "I think father-daughter bonding time is over. Looks like only you have what she wants now."

Donna accepted the hungry child as Jake sat beside her on the sofa. She unbuttoned her blouse, lowered the flap on her nursing bra and lifted Louisa to her breast. The child latched on and began nursing greedily.

"She's got the Bishop appetite," he said jokingly as he leaned back into the sofa cushions and relaxed.

Donna caressed Louisa's head. Her heart nearly burst with love. "I have a pretty good appetite myself and if I don't learn to curb it, I'll never lose the extra weight I gained when I was carrying Louisa."

"On you the extra weight looks good." Jake ran his gaze from the top of her head to the tips of her bare feet. "Besides, I like a woman who has an appetite, for food and … for other things."

"Thanks," Donna mumbled, but she couldn't hear the sound of her own voice because her heartbeat drummed so loudly in her ears. Those "other things" Jake had referred to were sexual appetites that she preferred to forget. Appetites that had drawn her into a brief affair based solely on wanton desires.

"I think I'll go on up and take a shower," Jake said. "It's been a long day and I'm about ready to hit the sack."

"Yes, you go on up." Donna kept her gaze focused on the child in her arms. "If you're asleep when I come upstairs, I'll try to be quiet and not waken you."

"If I'm asleep, you could blow up the room and I probably wouldn't wake up. Haven't you noticed what a sound sleeper I am?"

"Yes, of course." She had noticed everything about her husband. And that was a major problem. She'd known it would be difficult to live with Jake, to share a bed with him and be able to resist his magnetic masculine appeal. He was, by any woman's standards, an irresistible man.

"But if you need me during the night, all you have to do is touch me and I'll wake up like that." Grinning devilishly, Jake snapped his fingers, then turned and walked out of the room.

Touching Jake Bishop was always on her mind. Fear that she might touch him in her sleep and invite his attentions. Yet at the same time she felt a great longing to touch him, run her hands over his hard body. Touching Jake would be such sweet agony. And a mistake for which she would pay dearly.

Haven't you learned your lesson?
asked that pesky inner voice.
You and Jake are a lethal combination. One touch creates sparks that set you both on fire.