Healing Trace (9 page)

Joan
had no way of knowing where his thoughts were taking him, but she seemed to
connect with him at the most basic level. He scooped another bite into his
mouth. Her compassion confused him.

She
knew nothing about him, yet she stayed. He'd tried to push her away, so she'd
leave and forget about the job of nursing him back to health. He glanced at her
and the tension eased in his shoulders. She was just too damn stubborn to take
the hint that he didn't want her here.

Chapter Nine

The
tall grass tickled Joan's legs as she forged her way through the field, and
beyond the stables of Lakota ranch. By mutual vote, the men of the house agreed
to take turns staying with Trace to give Joan a much-deserved day off. No
protest came from her, she needed to think, and she couldn't do that when Trace
was always there.

She
didn't want the fascination she had for Trace to go any further than it already
was and after three weeks, she wasn't sure if she could stop. She had enough to
worry about dealing with her current financial troubles. A man would distract
her from everything she needed to do.

Not
that he found her interesting. The man was a rock, cold, unmoving, and
stubborn.

Inhaling
deeply, she groaned. Even the fresh earthy scent of the land reminded her of
Trace. She opened her mouth, deciding it would be best not to breathe through
her nose. This was her day, the day she had to call Katie and update her on
where they were at on getting her back home.

Joan
walked and walked. She didn't know where she was going. Not paying attention to
the landscape or how far her steps were taking her, she continued on her stroll
long after her legs grew tired.

She
outran her fears, her feelings, and the loneliness of having the only person
left in her life hundreds of miles away from her. And wishing she could talk to
someone who'd understand what it felt like to fail someone who depended on her.

When
she stopped, she found herself beside a stream. What was she going to do now
that her options had blown up with her car? How could she have been so distracted
with her problems that she let the vehicle insurance lapse?

She
was relying on the extra money from taking care of Trace, plus the insurance
money, to afford another car. After she paid her rent, utilities, and the final
payment to the funeral home for her father's casket and burial, she wouldn't
even be able to afford a bus ticket to bring her sister home.

Katie.

Her
seventeen-year-old sister was growing up too fast. She sank down in the grass
and crossed her legs. She'd failed her father, her sister, and even worse,
herself. She'd promised Katie she'd only have to stay with Aunt Sharon for nine
months. Only long enough for Joan to finish college and find full time
employment. She knew without getting her nursing degree, she never would be
able to support both of them working in town on minimum wage.

Nine
months had passed, and she was no closer to keeping her word. Working for Trace
gave her experience, but the job was temporary. What she needed to do is travel
out of the county to the area hospitals, and apply for a permanent nursing job.
Without a car, she was stuck and her promise to bring Katie back for her senior
year of high school would be a lie.

Oh,
Dad. I should have known you were in bad health. The signs were there. I was
just too blind to see them.

John
O'Hanlon's doctor had urged him to cut back on fatty foods and give up smoking.
Joan brushed the tears off her cheek. Her dad had a do-it-tomorrow attitude
when it came to his health, and probably thought he had more time to change a
lifetime of bad habits. Who expects to die of a heart attack at fifty years
old?

Her
dad had put everyone else first. His family, the police station, and all his
community service had taken up all his spare time. He had lived life selflessly.

She
leaned to the right, removed her cell phone from her pocket, and called Katie.
She couldn't let her sister build her hopes up any longer.

The
ringing in her ear stopped, and she cleared her throat. "Hey sis."

"Joanie!
It's about time you called. I've left text messages for you the last three
days. What's going on? Are you still working for that one man? Did you find
another job?"

She
squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "I'm still doing in-house care for
Trace…the one who broke his leg. I only have three more weeks here."

"That's
good though, right? Oh my God, I still can't believe you're really a nurse.
That is so cool. I can't wait to tell Aunt Sharon you're almost done. So, when
can I come home?"

She
swiftly inhaled. This was the most excited she'd heard Katie in a long time,
since before finding their father lying dead on the bedroom floor. She pinched
the bridge of her nose. Katie was too young to worry about car troubles or
where the next paycheck would come from.

Katie
should be going out with her friends, learning to drive, and floating around
experiencing the joys of having her first boyfriend. She understood how hard it
was living with Aunt Sharon, and having to move away to a strange place and
from everything familiar. How could she break Katie's heart, again?

"Joan?"

"I'm
here." She sat up straighter. "It won't be long now. Let me finish
this job, and then Trace's doctor will probably release him to continue therapy
on his own. After that, we can see about getting you back home where you
belong. Just hang in there a little longer, okay?"

"All
right! I'm going to call Jessie and Melanie and let them know I'll be starting
my senior year back at Durham High with them. Me and the besties will be back
together." Katie laughed. "Thanks, Joanie. You're the best sister ever."

Joan
clicked off the phone and lay down in the grass. The sobs came deep from her
soul, stripping her of hope. She couldn't tell Katie the truth. It wasn't fair.
She had to do something to make sure she came through for her sister.
I'm
sorry. I'm so, so sorry…

***

"Dammit,
where is she?" Trace sat on the edge of the couch, well out of the reach
of his crutches. "She's been gone too long."

"It's
Joan's day off. Give her a break. She probably wants to spend all her free time
away from you for a change. If you haven't noticed, you're not real fun to be
around when you can't work." Devon passed him a plate loaded with pizza
that Brody brought home on his way back from the reservation.

"I'm
anxious to see her. I missed talking with her the last couple of days. I never
realized how a woman changes the atmosphere around this place." Devon
spoke around a mouthful, swallowed, and grinned. "I think I might even ask
if she wants to see a movie when she's done babysitting Trace."

"Screw
you, Dev. And, that goes to both of you. You're not putting the moves on
Joan." Trace set his plate down and pointed across the room. "Bring
me the damn crutches. I'll look for her myself. Knowing her, she's lost out
there or ran into one of the bulls."

"I
think he protests too much." Devon elbowed Brody. "Go look for her,
so Trace will calm down."

Brody
smiled. "You don't have to ask me twice. I think I'll take Red Moon for a
ride. I kinda liked the way Joan held onto me last time I got her up on a
horse. Makes me feel like the warrior of my ancestors, bringing home the
redhead to be my—"

"Screw
you, Brody." Trace struggled to get his foot under him. "Don't.
Touch. Her."

Brody
left the room laughing and waved over his shoulder. "Don't wait up for
me."

Trace
plopped back down on the couch, grabbed a pillow, and threw it across the room.
His good leg bounced in a steady rhythm with pent up frustration. He was
responsible for the way Joan had grown quieter the last twenty-four hours. He'd
become more inpatient and discouraged the longer it took him to get back to
normal. He had a million things to do, and he couldn't do it sitting on the
couch all day long. He'd slipped back to taking his frustrations out on Joan
for no other reason than she made him want something different in his life, and
it left him angry.

A
vicious sense of possessiveness emerged in him and he fought to control
himself. Brody was more than a lifetime friend. He was his brother, closer than
anyone he allowed in his life. It'd been Brody, with his positive attitude,
that'd dragged him kicking and screaming back to living life after...he
couldn't think about that time.

He
had no claim on Joan. He didn't even want her here, hovering over him, making
him do his exercises, and incorporating fun into his day. The fact that she
was, and she brought out these feelings in him, made him want to run away. Yet
he wanted her back home where it was safe, and he could make sure she was safe.
Shit. I'm messed up.

"I
talked to Joe down at the Lakota office. He wanted to know if you'd be able to
have the sale sheets finished in a week or if you wanted him to hire someone
else until you're back to working." Devon wiped his mouth with the napkin.
"I told him I'd talk to you, but I was pretty sure you'd be able to finish
in time. I haven't heard of anymore sales, have you?"

With
his job as deputy brand inspector for the Lakota reservation, he had to report
every horse sale. Too many people were purchasing illegal stock, and having
this job meant he could protect the Lakota from allegations of illegal trading.
It'd take one bad rumor, or swindle, and too many families would suffer. His
people depended on the income that came from capturing wild horses, training
them, and selling them across the states.

"Yeah,
I'll call Joe tomorrow and check in. I should be good enough to make the trip
in a week. James has one more truckload that he's transporting on the
sixteenth." Trace rubbed the thigh of his broken leg.

"Do
you want me to send Thunderbolt back to the reservation, and call it finished with
that son-of-a-bitch?" Devon popped the top of a soda can. "He's a
lost cause, and only going to end up killing someone."

A
few months ago, Trace would have sent Thunderbolt to the glue factory, but
before he'd busted his leg and had seen the possibilities, he believed he was
making headway with the horse. The stallion had turned from mean to shy and the
day of his accident, Thunderbolt had shown real signs of understanding what he
was asking of him. If he could spend time with the stallion, talk to him, gain
his trust, he'd have one of the strongest mounts on the ranch.

He
understood pain and distrust, and he'd made it his personal ambition to heal the
distrust consuming the horse. It was his own fault for busting his leg. He'd
pushed too hard, before Thunderbolt was ready to accept him, and that lay
heavily on his shoulders, not Thunderbolts.

"No.
He stays."

"Jesus,
Trace. Are you suicidal? That horse isn't worth the sweat of training
him." Devon shook his head. "Count yourself lucky, and move on. Some
horses aren't trainable, and even you can't change their ways. It's inbred in
them to be mean."

Trace
flinched. He'd heard the same thing about himself. He was inbred for meanness.
He wouldn't amount to much. His resolve to train Thunderbolt grew stronger.
Many folks had given up on him, including his father, but he was damn sure
Thunderbolt was deserving of his attention.

"Thunderbolt
stays," he said.

Chapter Ten

"I'm
coming." Joan hurried out of the bathroom, crossed the bedroom to open the
door. "Oh…hey, Brody. Does Trace need me?"

She'd
returned to the house an hour ago, risking life and limb on the back of Red
Moon, to save her the energy of walking back to the house after spending a day
indulging in self-pity. She'd evaded Brody's questions of why she was upset,
and blamed it on hormones and not enough sleep last night.

"No.
He's fine. In fact, he's outside sitting on the edge of the pool cooling off.
Don't worry though. We're making sure he doesn't get his cast wet." Brody
cocked his head to the side, studying her. "We were all wondering if you'd
like to go swimming. The water's nice, and the stars are out. There's really no
better way to cool off and relax after suffering through a hot summer
day."

She
glanced behind her at the luggage stacked in the corner of the room. She was
positive she'd packed her swimsuit, and the exercise would lessen the tension
she was experiencing. Maybe she'd be able to get more sleep tonight if she wore
herself out first.

"Thanks.
I think a swim sounds great. Let me change and I'll meet you outside." She
reached out and touched his arm. "Thanks again for giving me a ride back
to the ranch. I walked further than I thought I did."

"Whenever
you want to get away, just tell one of us and we'd be happy to help out. It
should be easier now that calving season is behind us, and we have more free
time. We don't want you to burn out before Trace can get back on his feet and
working. Call us selfish, but none of us are too wild about being stuck inside
the house while Trace is healing." Brody reached out and squeezed her hand.
"We owe you our thanks. You've kept him down, giving his leg a chance to
heal. Last time he was laid up, he was back on a horse three days after
surgery, while wearing a cast on his arm."