Heart Lies & Alibis (24 page)

Declan was silent as he walked towards me and this time I let him reach me. He took me in his arms, pulling me up the bed until we reached the pillows. I was too tired to argue or talk or do much of anything really. I only wanted to stay in his arms as long as I could. He twirled my hair but didn't say a word. I could fight my exhaustion no more and drifted off to sleep, memories of a sacred young girl in a long ago life drifting through my mind.

Hours later my hand reached for Declan in the darkness of pre-dawn but I met empty sheets. I sat up with a start. Had he decided it really was too much shit to deal with and left in the middle of the night? Would I really blame him if he had? I knew I was being overly paranoid but after all that had happened it was hard to be completely sane.

"Declan?" I called into the dark room. There was no answer so I climbed out of bed. It was chilly so I grabbed a sweatshirt from the dresser before I went in search of him.

I found him on the back patio sitting in the dark, an untouched whiskey near his hand, and a thousand mile gaze on his face. I called his name from the door but he didn't look up at first when I came outside. I had to call his name a second time to bring him back to the present.

He looked up and smiled. "Oh hey, babe. Sorry did I wake you?" He lifted his hand to me, pulling me down next to him on the love-seat. I snuggled close to him to warm up in the chilly morning air.

It felt good to be near him again. "No. I just woke up and you were gone. What are you doing out here?"

He was twirling the end of my hair so lost in his thoughts again he didn't answer.

"Declan?"

He nodded and started speaking softly, almost to himself, but still focused on me. "I think I just needed a minute to let your whole story sink in. It's like meeting you all over again, only bigger, because I know you already, and now I feel like I know all of you. I'm surprised at how much it all makes sense, about who you are and why I am so in love with everything about you."

I was silent. Maybe my fears about him wanting to bail had been more perceptive than I hoped. "I understand. Declan, I would really understand if you wanted to take a break, slow down with this relationship or whatever you need to do. I come with baggage - just like you do - maybe two people with complicated pasts are too much for one relationship. Maybe we just met at the wrong time. But I don't want you to feel obligated to stay Declan. You have done more than for me than I could have ever hoped or expected. Thank you for that." I waited, unsure what I should do now.

"Reagan, look at me." His voice was soft but firm. I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. He reached his hand out and laid it on my cheek.

"I am not going anywhere my love. Your right. We both come with some pretty screwed up stuff and we have so many things to work through but I need you to know I am here for you as long as you will have me. Do you understand? Here. With you. By my choice, okay?"

I nodded and wondered again how this amazing guy had found his way to my life.

He nodded once. "Good. Now what I was going to add before is I was thinking about how strong you are. And how much you remind me of my mom. She had a hard life, being married to my dad, and she never let it get to her just like you haven't let your past stop you from being so incredible. She was the strongest woman I ever knew and you are so much like her. I know she would have loved you. So yeah, we have baggage but who doesn't? So we can stay locked in the past – with Bobbi Jo and Mikey and all their shit – or we can focus on a future together. The choice is ours. I know what I want to do. Do you?"

For the first time in my life I knew without a doubt exactly what I wanted and who I wanted it with. "I want the future with you." He answered me with a kiss, with an embrace, and with a look in his eyes that said yes more than any words could. I felt like the ground beneath my feet was solid again, and a future was not just survivable but full of hope and joy.

Chapter 14

We had only been back to bed for an hour when Declan's phone rang waking us up. He ignored it the first time but the caller immediately called back. Fully awake now, Declan groaned while disentangling his arm from under me and reached for it. He glanced at the caller id before shooting straight up in bed.

"O'Shea." His voice was all business and his face looked tensed and concerned.

I sat up and watched him while he listened to the caller. Then his face drained of color, turning a pale gray and I could see in his eyes he was hearing something terrible.

"I understand. And do you know what happened exactly?" He waited for a reply before speaking again. "I see. Yes. Thank you. Yes. I will be there." He slammed the phone against the bed before dropping his head in his hands. "Fuck." He yelled into the room, making me jump in the bed. He stood up and stormed around the room for a moment uttering a string of obscenities and angry words. He was in a rage and I was getting nervous.

"Declan, what happened? Who was that?" I asked, a bit afraid at the anger pouring off his body while he slammed around the bedroom.

He was shaking his head and muttering in his Boston accent. "Mother fuckers. Who would do this? How could this happen? Why him? Nicest guy I had known and now he's gone." He wiped a single tear rolling from his eye. I had never seen him so upset.

"Who's gone Declan? What happened? Please, talk to me."

He turned and looked at me and I saw his eyes fill with tears but he swallowed them back. "Hayes is dead Reagan. Someone killed him last night. Tortured him at his home. Mother fuckers. That was his boss at the Marshal's office on the phone. He said they have no leads right now but I have to meet with a new handler on Wednesday. He told me to be careful because they aren't sure yet what the motivation was for killing Hayes – could have been to get information on his cases or something else. The torture makes them almost certain the attackers were professionals." He looked broken and I felt my heart ache watching him be in so much pain.

I got out of the bed and went to him, pulling him into my arms. "I am so sorry Declan." He clung to me, the pain and hurt of losing his friend coursing through his body. He hugged me while he buried his head in my shoulder. We stayed that way for a long time before he finally pulled away, quickly wiping away another tear that slid down his cheek. Apparently I wasn't the only one in this relationship who struggled with displays of emotion. "I am really sorry about your friend. He sounded like a really good guy. I hope they can find whoever did this to him."

He nodded. "Thanks Reagan. He was a great guy and he sure as hell didn't deserve this. I hope the bastards who did it get caught as soon as possible."

I watched him while he struggled to find a place between anger and sadness. "Do you think anything will change on Wednesday for you?" I didn't want to ask the question so soon but I needed to know the answer.

"I really don't know what will happen Reagan but I know what my plans are for my future. I told you I'm here with you no matter what. You have my word."

I hoped he would be able to keep that promise because after everything we had been through already I couldn't bring myself to imagine a future without him.

Only a few days had passed since Declan was informed of Marshall Hayes murder. He was meeting with a new handler this morning and everyone still unsure exactly what had happened to Hayes. Of chief concern right now was what the exact threat there could be to his cases. The uncertainty of our future had made the last two days strained between Declan and I filled with tension and the fear and I was glad we would soon have an answer.

We both knew this meeting he was having with the new handler could go one of two ways: either Declan would be deemed safe to stay in Houston with his cover intact because the Marshals believed Hayes killer hadn't got any information on his cases during his murder or Declan would be sent somewhere new to start over. Without me. I knew he wanted – no he declared – he would stay no matter what but I also knew things could change in the blink of an eye that could be out of our control. I could only hope for the best at this point.

I had just returned from my own meeting. My ankle bracelet limited my movements by only allowing visits to Jackson and not much else. I hated my loss of freedom and adding insult to my injured pride, my attorney was not filled with great news during our meeting. Jackson was certain my case was most certainly headed for trial and he wanted us to prepare for the worst. I just wanted to go to bed and forget this part of my life forever. I left his office with a heavy heart and the feeling like I was carrying the world on my shoulders. I drove home in a haze of fear and sadness.

I pulled my car into the garage and made my way into the house. Declan would be stopping by after his meeting with WITSEC to lay out our future and I wanted to get out of my business suit and into some more comfortable clothes before he arrived. I also needed a glass of wine. A very large glass of wine. This day had kicked my ass and I was ready for a break.

Thoughts swirled through my mind as I opened the kitchen door and walked in. I had no answers to any of the questions my mind presented and I was to tired to try anymore. I was headed for the refrigerator for some white wine when the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I spun around to see a man standing in the doorway between my kitchen and family room. My heart stopped and I almost screamed out loud. What the hell was someone doing in my house?

Another movement out of the corner of my eye caused my head to jerk to the side. I watched as a second man come in through the same kitchen door from the garage I had just used. He had to have been hiding out there when I pulled my car in and parked, I realized with growing fear.

The first man spoke before I could find the ability to form my own words. "Hello Bobbi Jo."

I froze, my breath caught in my throat. This couldn't be happening. I would recognize that Kentucky drawl anywhere. I barely whispered his name. "Lincoln." How had he found me? I looked at the other man who was now leaning against my kitchen door, blocking my only other escape from the room. Roosevelt Dixon still looked as mean and lethal as I remembered with only the slight graying of his dark hair and a slightly bigger beer belly to give an indication of the many years that had passed since we had last seen one another. He grinned at me before pursing his lips into a kiss. I shuddered at the gesture and turned my attention back to his brother.

Lincoln still looked good, although more hard and cold than I remembered. His dark hair was cut short as he had always worn it and his face sported a three-day growth of beard that gave his jaw an angry harshness. The thing that stood out most is that he had become a hardened man. The youthful angry glint in his eyes had been replaced by a coldness that chilled me to the bone. And the look he was giving me told me he was a man you didn't want to cross. Prison had turned Linc into someone who held no trace of the man that had been my first love.

His hair was still raven black without a trace of the gray I could see in Roosevelt's hair. His eyes, those chocolate brown pools I had once found so intoxicating, now looked at me with a deadness I felt to my core. His body showed the signs of being better maintained than his brothers. His arms looked corded and taut, his chest was more developed and hard under his t-shirt and jeans than when he was young. Lincoln had become a man to be feared and avoided.

I knew my safety depended on my ability to remain calm as long as possible. Declan would be home soon or so I hoped at least. He would end this nightmare for me because I couldn't do it alone this time. Unless he didn't get here in time? Then I would have to face the Dixon Brothers alone again. Could I do it?

"What are you doing here?" I was inching my way around the kitchen island trying to put more distance between me and Rose. My voice sounded strange to me, distant and scared. I hated hearing that tone again.

Linc laughed, a harsh sound that filled the room and caused me to jump a bit. "Well darlin' that's an interesting question. I am surprised you aren't a bit more curious about how we found you after all these years but maybe you hoped to see us again." He approached the island while he spoke, forcing me to back away until my back hit the sink area. I could see my kitchen knife block out of the corner of my eye and was attempting to calculate if I could reach it when he spoke again drawing my attention back to him.

"It was the news reports about you offing that old dude you had married." He sneered at me and Rose laughed. "Imagine our surprise when one night over dinner we are watching the news and we hear the newscaster say your name. A name we hadn't heard in over twenty years." He smirked at me again waiting for a reply.

Before I could respond I saw Rose move closer to me, completely blocking one end of the island now. I was trapped between the two brothers. My eyes darted between the two men, unsure which one I needed to watch more right at that moment. Did it really matter? They were both lethal to my safety.

Linc continued, his Kentucky drawl stronger than I remembered, and foreign to me after so many years away from my home state. "I mean your real name honey, not that pretentious one you have taken to using. Those news folk talked all about you being arrested and about you being a lawyer and just told the whole nasty story of your current life. Rose and I watch real close like now, still not fully convinced it's you, because hell what would be the odds, right? But sure enough, next thing we see is they are showing your picture on the screen. Actually they showed two photos: one from when we knew you as Bobbi Jo and one from now. We were blown away. I mean first we find out my Bobbi Jo has become some big deal lawyer in Houston and second that she is accused of killing her old man? It just seemed damn crazy." He was shaking his head, genuine surprise on his face.