Heart of Light (25 page)

A sly grin crossed his face. “It’s all I can think about, too, princess.”

The timbre of his voice gave her pause.

“But I do realize that certain things need to remain in place in your life so that no one gets suspicious. I know this Cameron fellow has a thing for you. And you have a thing for him. As much as I hate to admit it, he appears to be a rather smart and observant individual. He’ll most certainly catch on if things change between you two so abruptly. Yes, I was angry when I realized that you had gone home with him this past Saturday. I was fucking raging mad, Jolene,” he said, his voice rising.

Taking a deep breath, he clenched his fists, hating the thought of having to share Jolene with anyone. “But I need secrecy just as much as you do. I’m a reasonable man so I will allow you to continue to see Cameron on the condition that you return home every night. Do
not
even think about staying over at his place again. You can be his during the day, but you’re mine at night. Or I will not only call up Mr. Falconi, I will make sure that Cameron can never practice again in any state for the rest of his life. He’ll be lucky to be flipping burgers when I’m through with him. Do you understand?”

Jolene stared wide-eyed at David. It was one thing to risk her own freedom, but she couldn’t jeopardize Cam’s livelihood. David was a powerful man, and she knew that he would be able to carry through with any threat he made.

“I said, do you understand…princess?” He reached up and gently caressed her face before grabbing her by the back of the head, making her nod. “Good girl. Now, show me how thankful you are for my understanding.”

Jolene’s chin quivered as he unzipped his pants and forced her head into his lap.

~~~~~~~~~~

A
FTER
D
AVID
DROPPED
HER
off, Jolene ran into the bar, darting for the staff room, her stomach churning. She threw open the door to the bathroom and retched into the toilet. She held on to the porcelain, heaving in repulsion about what she had just been forced to do in the back seat of a government car.

Over the years, she had learned to turn it off. She knew what was expected of her and she went through the motions, showing no feeling, not letting any of the men get to her. She had stopped caring. She had been broken down so all that was left was the shell of a formerly vibrant young girl. But Cam had slowly begun to build her up and turn her feelings back on…feelings she never thought possible. And that made her arrangement with David painful. She felt the shame and remorse tenfold more than she had in the past.

Sobbing, she fell onto the bathroom floor, her cries consuming her body. She needed to let out all her pent-up anger, rage, and frustration. Then she could survive the darkness that would come at night.

A gentle knock sounded, startling her. “Jolene? Are you okay?” Elsie asked through the door.

Jolene quickly wiped her tears, trying to compose herself. “I’m fine,” she said, her voice shaky.

“Bullshit. Let me in.”

“I’m just not feeling well. That’s all.” She raised herself off the floor and cleaned up before heading out of the bathroom to face Elsie, knowing she had to do it eventually.

“Do you want to go home?” Elsie asked, her eyebrows raised in concern.

“
No
!” Jolene exclaimed quickly.

“Office. Now.” Elsie glared at her. “You’re not going out there until we talk. So we can talk now and you can get on with your shift, or you’re going home. You’re in no state to be slinging drinks.”

Jolene shot daggers at Elsie before softening her expression. She was right. She couldn’t possibly go out and serve drinks with a smile on her face, knowing that her heart was slowly breaking with each glance at Cam.

She made her way into Elsie’s office, flopping down onto a chair and crossing her arms in front of her chest, a look of resignation on her face.

Elsie closed the door and sat across from her. “Talk, Jolene.”

“But what if it’s busy out there?”

“The other girls are handling it. So talk.”

Jolene shrugged. “What do you want me to talk about?”

“Ummm… Let’s start with David Murphy.”

She hung her head in defeat, shaking it. “I can’t.”

Elsie rolled her chair closer to Jolene, careful to remain far enough away that she wouldn’t overreact. “So there
is
something going on with you two.”

Jolene raised her head. “I can’t talk about it. Please.”

Elsie surveyed her friend. Her usual vitality was shrouded in fear. “Did he threaten you? I
knew
there was a reason that he kept coming into this bar, aside from his claims to the media that he was spending part of his summer here on the island, catching up with college friends.”

Jolene stood up from the chair. “Please, Elsie. I need you to drop it.”

Elsie stared at her for several excruciatingly long moments, hoping she would crack. When the silence grew to a deafening level, she sighed. “Okay. I’m not going to beat it out of you. Just know that, if you ever need to talk, I’ll listen.”

“I know you will.” She gave her a reassuring smile before heading out of the staff room and down the long hallway toward the bar, black and silver eyes looking at her…one as if she was a piece of meat, the other as if she was a precious treasure.

Her shift flew by that night. Every time she glimpsed at the clock, she thought that just five minutes had passed, only to become anxious when she realized that over an hour had gone by. Before she knew it, she was leaving the bar, waving good night to a few of her co-workers. Surveying the empty parking lot, she wondered how far she could get before anyone realized that she was gone. Then David’s threat sounded in her head. She was trapped. She couldn’t go anywhere. She had to stay…to save Cam’s career.

She shuffled toward the street, walking despondently to the beach house that would surely become her torture chamber from that evening forward. Hearing a car roll up beside her, she kept her eyes downturned, knowing all too well who it was.

“Baby steps.”
 

Her head shot up when she heard that warm voice. It wasn’t who she was expecting at all.

“Get in. I’ll drive you home. It’s not safe for you to be walking.”

Jolene nodded, a sad smile crossing her face as she opened the door and settled into Cam’s Lexus. “Thanks. But you didn’t have to wait for me. I don’t want to be a burden to you,” she said as Cam drove away from the bar and toward her beach house.

“Jolene, you’re not a burden at all. You’re the furthest thing from a burden. Did you ever stop to think that I waited for you to get off of work so that I could spend time with you? Because that’s why I did…to see you. Every second I spend with you, I…”

“You what?” she asked, turning her head to look at Cam as he pulled into her driveway.

Taking a deep breath, he met her eyes. “I fall for you a little bit more.”

“Cam, I…”

“I get it, Jolene. I do. You want your space. I understand that. You’ve been on your own for so long and you hate the idea of having to depend on anyone, never knowing when they’ll betray your trust.”

Her eyes began to gloss over, wondering how he could see what she thought was buried layers beneath the surface.

“You’re scared of loving because you feel that everyone you’ve ever loved abandoned you. You’re hurt. And you’re scarred. We all are. We all suffer at times, Jolene. But we move on and meet new people who help heal those age-old wounds. Please, Jolene. Let me be the one to heal you. That’s all I ask.”

“But what if my wounds are too deep?”

“No wounds are too deep for me, Jolene.”

Leaning across the center console, she hovered her mouth over his, stealing an almost kiss. “Well, you’ve certainly got your work cut out for you, Dr. Bowen.” She closed her eyes and could feel his lips turn into a smile.

“I’m not your therapist, Jolene. I’m a friend. A friend who wants to be so much more than just a friend.”

“Me, too,” she said, pulling out of their almost kiss and opening the door to the car, standing up.

“Can I take you to dinner on Sunday?” he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes. “And then maybe you can stay over? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t going to miss you sleeping in my bed with me tonight.”

Jolene glanced at him before looking out over the crashing waves of the ocean. “I can’t,” she said quietly.

“Can’t what? Go to dinner?”

She flung her eyes back to his. “No. I
can
go to dinner, but…”

“Okay. I get it,” he interrupted, recalling last night.

“I want to stay over. I really do, but…” She bit her lip nervously.

“Say no more. You need time. Whenever you’re ready, the invitation stands. I’ll pick you up at seven on Sunday. Hope you like oysters.”

Jolene simply nodded before closing the car door and climbing the steps up to the deck. A dark Town Car drove down the sandy road and her hands shook in panic. She barely had the key in the door when she felt a dark presence behind her.

“So you’ve given some thought to our arrangement then. Is that right?”

She reeled around, willing herself to find the inner strength to get through the night. Men like him lived off of instilling fear in women. He could have her body, but he could not have her fear. She refused to give it to him.

“I don’t really have a choice now, do I?” she hissed.

David pulled back, surprised at her response and the feisty attitude.

“Hmmm… You’re mad. That’s good. Just remember your place and your little Dr. Bowen will be able to keep his job. Got it?”

She glowered at him, anger rising in her blood.

“Let me in, princess,” he demanded, running his hand the length of her torso. Her skin burned where his fingers had been. Spinning back around, she unlocked the front door and allowed him to enter.

“Pour me a scotch, will ya?” he said, loosening his tie and shrugging out of his jacket.

“I don’t have any.”

“Well, that’s not a very good start.” Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her body against his before slamming her into the wall. “Remember this for next time. If I want a scotch, I expect a scotch. Now, say you’re sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” she said through clenched teeth.

Raising his hand, he slapped her across the face, the impact forcing her to fall to the ground, screaming out from the shock and the pain.

“Enough with the lip, Jolene. You
will
be docile. You
will
be quiet. And, most importantly, you
will
be obedient. Understand?”

Glaring, her lower lip trembled as she fought against her tears. She nodded her head in defeat, hating that he saw her breaking in front of his eyes.

“Good. Now go clean up. I can’t be expected to fuck you when you smell like a crappy bar. That’s disgusting. I expect you clean, shaven, and naked on your bed in ten minutes. You do not want to see me angry. Got it?”

She nodded slightly.

“I said,
got it
?!” he roared, grabbing her hair and lifting her off the ground. “You answer me when I’m talking to you!”

“
Yes
!” she shouted.

Slapping her face again, he held on to her body to prevent her from falling. “Yes, what?” he growled.

“Yes, sir,” she sobbed out meekly.

A sly grin crossed his face. “There’s my princess. Now go get ready.” He ran his tongue against her neck before forcefully pushing her away from him.

She stumbled on unsteady legs up the stairs and into her bathroom. Surveying the blood streaming from her eyebrow, she prayed that she would be able to explain the bruises and cuts with no one seeing the truth.

As she lay on her bed that night with David’s sweaty, filthy body breathing on top of her, a lone tear fell down her face, and she promised herself that it would be the last one.

“H
EY
,
BABY
STEPS
,” J
OLENE
heard the following morning as she sat on her deck, her eyes covered with dark sunglasses. Drinking her coffee, she watched the crashing waves, the sudden urge to run into the ocean and let the sea take control engulfing her.

She plastered a fake smile on her face and looked at Cam as he stood on her front steps in his wetsuit. “Hey, Casanova. Want a coffee?” She slowly began to raise herself off the chair.

“You sit. I can get it.”

She nodded, lowering herself back down, fighting off the urge to wail from the pain coursing through her body from everything she had endured last night. The emotional scars would take a long time to heal.

“What the fuck happened in here?!” Cam said loudly.

Jolene’s heart raced.
Shit
, she said to herself, suddenly realizing that she had left the living room exactly as it was the night before. Her blood still streaked the floor where she fell to the ground from the force of David’s brutal assault.

Cam appeared in the doorway, taking several deliberate strides toward where she sat on the deck, her body rigid. Alarm bells began sounding when he realized she was wearing yoga pants and a long-sleeved shirt in the humid July heat. Sitting on the stool in front of her, a look of urgency crossed his face.

“Take off your sunglasses, Jolene.”

“It’s nothing, Cam,” she said nonchalantly, a vibrant smile crossing her face, trying to mask the panic flowing through her veins at the thought of being caught in her web of lies. “It was dark when I got home last night and I tripped and fell.”

She hesitantly took her sunglasses off, revealing her bruises and cuts.

“Are you sure that’s all that happened?” he questioned as his eyes examined her face. “You can tell me if something’s not right.”

She raised her hand and delicately caressed his face, playing with the bit of stubble that had grown overnight.

“It’s nothing, Cam. I’m just clumsy from time to time. That’s all.” She cupped his cheek, hoping to distract him from the bigger issue by touching him.

“Jolene, seriously. What is going on?” His eyes were intense and she quickly withdrew her hand, putting her sunglasses back on. “I can help you, whatever it is. You don’t have to lie to me. That…” he said, stopping short. He took a deep breath. “That is not from a simple fall, Jolene. You can tell me.” He kneeled in front of her, pleading as he continued, “Did something happen to you?”