Heart's a Mess (5 page)

Alex set an arm beside her head and tugged
aside the satin, lining up the head of his cock with her entrance. He pressed
in.

Oh yeah. The heat of her, the feel of her
soft, wet pussy surrounding him. His hand cupped her thigh, holding her wide
open. Never had there been anything as hot as his dick sinking into her, past
the barrier of those black silk-and-lace panties. There was a lot to like about
a woman in lingerie. But something about
her
took it to the next level.

He felt hypersensitive, aware of every last
everything. The scrape of her hard nipples against his chest as he drew out and
then pushed back in. The little hitch in her breath each time he filled her. He
took his time, setting an easy rhythm. Her hands slid beneath his shirt,
fingers stroking his pecs, her thumbs rubbing over his nipples, the pleasure
insane. That dreamy gaze remained but her hands moved over him restlessly. And
her mouth.

Christ, how had he forgotten her mouth?

Her lips were swollen from their earlier
kisses and she breathed heavily. He rubbed his mouth over the curve of her
cheek, the edge of her sweet lips. She turned her face, seeking him out.
Impossible not to fuck her harder, faster, when she stroked her tongue against
his. Electricity seemed to be coursing through him, running up his spine. He’d
gotten way too overexcited to last as long as he wanted, which was forever.
Staying inside her body for the foreseeable future would have been great.

To keep on kissing her.

To make her come as many times as he could.

They were wrong about men and multitasking.
You just had to be driven, focused. He was.

But she’d said it wasn’t as easy to come if
she wasn’t on top. He palmed one of her big breasts, teasing her nipple with a
light pinch. The way her sex squeezed him in response almost broke him in two.
Quickly, he reached down her body, searching out her clit. He tucked a finger
beneath the edge of her panties, feeling where they were joined. Her hips
kicked up at the first touch of his finger. The little bead was slick, hard and
ready.

Her mouth broke away from his and she
gasped.

“That’s it,” he groaned.

Vi craned her neck, reaching for his mouth
again. They really were such a mess. A juicy, hot mess spread out all over the couch.
He met her blindly, feeding her hard kisses as his finger clumsily circled her
clit. As his cock surged into her. Fingernails dug into his sides. His other
hand had fisted in her dark hair, a fucking chopstick sliding between his
fingers.

She started coming with a cry, knees and
hands gripping him, her pussy clamped down on his cock. He saw stars, streaks
of light, and the roaring in his ears…it was deafening.

He came and came, making them even wetter
and hotter and messier than ever.

Skin-to-skin he lay atop her, unmoving,
panting. His cock jerked one last time inside her, reluctant to give up the
fight. She stroked his back, cupped his ass. He just wanted to hide his face in
her neck, to stay perfectly still right there crushing her. But fuck she felt
good.

Which was when the door was thrown open.

There was nothing he could do.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” his brother John
hollered.

The noise reverberated around the confined
space, bouncing off brick walls and the concrete floor. Alex could hear it all
perfectly because at some stage the music above had been silenced. Vi stopped
breathing beneath him.

“You have a bed upstairs,” said John. “What
the hell are you doing fucking in here? Is that a staff member beneath you?”

“Leave,” he said.

“Because I’m pretty damn sure we have rules
about that.”

“John! Get out.”

“With pleasure,” his brother said. “You
think I want to see your white ass in all its glory? I only came to get a chair
because there’s none left in the office. Shall I lock the door again on my way
out?”

“No. Please. Duncan locked us in.”

His brother snorted. “Yeah, I can tell
you’re really upset about that.”

“John.”

“I’m leaving.”

He heard stomping then John slamming the
door closed but not locking it. And he was pretty damn sure Vi hadn’t breathed
through any of it.

“It’s okay,” he said.

Her beautiful bare breasts moved beneath
him in a sudden rush and her hands, her lovely hands. They pushed at his chest,
telling him without words to get the hell off. She was back to staring at the
wall. Avoiding him with everything she had in her. Which still included him.

“Vi, really, it’s okay.”

She said nothing but those hands kept
pushing. Slowly, carefully, he climbed off her, pulling his half-hard cock from
the heat of her body. Her shaking hands clutched her dress back together,
covering herself.

Ah no, not again.

“Vi, please don’t freak out on me.” He
pulled up his pants and tucked himself inside. “Yes, I’m your boss. And yes, it
was unfortunate that that just happened—”

Her laser-beam eyes pinned him in place,
then proceeded to burn straight through him.

“Not the sex,” he clarified. “John walking
in on us. I do not regret the sex for a minute. Unlike you.”

“Don’t tell me what I feel,” she bit out.

“Shit.” Alex scrubbed his hands over his
face. “Honestly, is there anything I can say to make this right?”

The woman turned her back on him and
started fixing her clothing with jerky moves. Her fancy hairdo had half fallen
down her back. One of the chopsticks clattered to the floor and he picked it up
with a sigh, held it out to her.

“I have to work with him,” she said. “What
must he think of me?”

“Sweetheart, John doesn’t think of anyone
but himself. I guarantee it. He won’t even remember this happened tomorrow.”

She grabbed the chopstick from him, her
shoulders slumped. She seemed to have wilted before his eyes. “Why does this
keep happening between us? Every time I convince myself I can stay away from
you and every time I screw it up.”

“Because there
is
something between
us. You need to give it a chance.”

“What I need is to keep my job.”

Frustration filled him from top to toe.
“Damn it! Will you listen to me? This doesn’t affect your job!”

“How can it not?” she cried. “Say we see
each other for a while. Do you really think when things go sour it’s not going
to make us working together beyond awkward?”

“Wait up. When things go sour?”

“Yes.”

Ah fuck. Give him strength. “So, you’ve
already decided this is going nowhere before it’s even begun?”

She said nothing.

His mind reeled. “Hang on. Is this about my
divorce and your rebound theory again?”

“I don’t have a great history either,
okay?”

He scrunched up his face, trying to put all
the pieces together in his mind. Fact is, maybe she was right. He couldn’t
guarantee she wasn’t, with things the way they were. His divorce had been
nasty. Maybe she had a point. Or maybe he was too fucking tired to deal with
this right now. Either way, he couldn’t convince her if she’d already closed
her mind to the idea.

“I need to get home,” she said.

“Are you all right to drive?”

“The cut isn’t hurting and I only had a
couple of sips of the gin. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded, stepped around him and left. He
didn’t try to stop her.

Violet knew she’d done the right thing.
Better a sting at the beginning than things getting stabby by the end. She
wasn’t the princess to his prince, and fairy tales were for fools and children.
Time to move on with her plan of paying off her tiny, bedraggled house and
getting her shit sorted. Time to be an adult and stop screwing her boss. Again.
But she meant it this time.

It had been three days since the scene in
the storage room. She’d had her mid-week weekend to get herself together and
she had. Sure, the first time she saw him again would be awkward and
potentially painful. Then it would be over with and things could move on.

Life would go on as it should.

“What is this?” hissed Marie as if she’d
stepped in shit. Surprising, given Violet had never met anyone quite as sweet.
The woman stood with John at the restaurant counter, perusing something on the
computer. Violet had only just arrived. There’d been no sign of Alex yet.
Thankfully. She just hoped to God John hadn’t told anyone about the scene in
the storage room.

“Huh?” John looked up, he and Marie
checking out the scene at the front of the bar. “Oh, her.”

“Why is she here?” asked Marie in a flat,
unhappy tone.

“Alex asked her to go to couple’s therapy
with him.”

“What? Why?” Marie’s pert nose scrunched up
in disbelief.

“How should I know?” The chef shrugged.

“That’s Jane?” asked Violet, already
knowing the answer. The sick, unhappy feeling in her stomach confirmed it.

“Hey,” said Marie, overly cheery. Her smile
looked wide and strained. So obviously she knew. “Hi, Vi.”

John plastered an equally awkward smile on
his face then walked away. Though, she’d never seen the man actually smile
before so it might have been his usual. Hard to tell.

All the same, Violet wanted to be beamed up
to the mothership immediately, to disappear into thin air.

Marie glanced nervously at the scene at the
door, where Alex kissed the tall, thin, beautiful, horrible Jane goodbye on the
cheek. The man certainly didn’t waste any time. But then, that wasn’t fair or
right. Violet was the interloper, the late accidental addition. Jane held all
the rights when it came to him, no matter their marital status.

Unless that was just a spectacular excuse
to spare her heart from further involvement.

Shit.

Not until that exact moment, however, had
Violet realized she’d wanted to be wrong when it came to him. She’d protested
too much and had gone and lost him before they’d even begun. Or his fleeting
interest had up and flit. Either way, game over. It no longer mattered. At
least she still had her job. And it always happened, that was the truth. Things
always went to shit eventually. Sooner hurt less than later, though it didn’t
feel like it right now. Her eyes were hot and gritty. She blinked resolutely,
getting herself back under control. It took her a moment. Having been dumped
and disappointed a hundred and one times, it should have been easier than it
was.

Alex wandered back to the bar with his
usual long, lanky strides, smiling and calling out greetings to various
customers as he went. It had all been some weird wet dream, an aberration, and
she would treat it as such. The beautiful man didn’t even look her way.

Her sex fluttered and she ignored it.
Hating that her body could still want him when her mind had shut down.

“Are you all right?” asked Marie, her neat
little brows scrunched tight.

“Sure,” said Violet, getting busy doing
what they paid her to do. Because sinking to the floor in humiliation was for
pussies. Big girls weathered the storms of life and stood tall. “Thanks. Wanna
go shoe shopping tomorrow before work?”

Marie grinned and her eyes lit up. “I’d
love to.”

* * * * *

A month later…

Valentine’s Day sucked.

Violet closed the safe and carefully rose
to her feet. Good God her poor, poor feet. Her new heels were killing her. So
gorgeous with their tiny heart motif but so very painful.

When would she learn?

Hell, she’d never learn. If there was
anything she had learned it was that she would never learn.

Her toes were crushed, mutilated, a hapless
victim of her need for pretty and her quest to forget. As if being subjected
all night to the endless array of happy couples holding hands and wining and
dining their way to ecstasy hadn’t been bad enough. The shoes had been meant to
fortify her throughout the long and daunting night. Instead they had brought
her to an all new low. Plus, she hadn’t forgotten a single thing.

“Finished?” a voice asked. That voice.

Any and all interaction between them had
been brief, polite and straight to the point. Obviously, he was way better at
forgetting than she’d ever be. The man was a champion at moving on. She should
ask for lessons.

“Alex. Hi. Yes.” Her grin felt grim.

He tried to smile back. It didn’t look
quite right on him either despite the handsome face. Within a moment it had
slipped away. The main problem with banging someone in the workplace was the
way it came back to bite your ass on a daily basis.

He crossed his arms and leaned against the
doorway. The man seemed to be waiting but for what she didn’t know.

She should say something friendly,
something to ease the tension between them and put the past firmly behind. Some
nice, harmless comment to let him know everything was fine between them. Yes,
excellent idea. Pity her mind was a vast, empty wasteland. Her toes throbbed
inside her shoes and her calves ached. Silence reigned supreme. Not awkward at
all.

“Night,” he said eventually.

“Good night.”

And he left. For a moment she stood there,
staring at the empty doorway. Her heart did something weird. It kind of hurt.
She drew a deep breath and shook it off. How silly. She’d go home, alone, and
have a bath. That’s what she’d do. Same as each and every other night. Tonight,
just to mix it up, she might not lie awake thinking about him for hours.
Another really good idea, shame its likelihood of eventuating.

“Forgot my keys.” Alex wandered back into
the still mostly unfurnished room with another brief, uncomfortable smile. He
rifled about in a desk drawer.

“You’re not living upstairs anymore?”

“No.”

“Oh, of course not. You’re back in your
home.”

“Hmm?” He tucked a set of keys into his
pocket.

“With Jane.”

The man stopped and stared. “Violet, what
are you talking about?”

“Ah, I mean, John said that you were back
with her. I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have been discussing your private life. It
just occurred to me how wrong that sounded.” She shut her mouth before it
wandered further afield. What a pity it didn’t stay shut. “But it’s great that
you’re happy and everything.”

“I’m happy and everything?” he asked, as if
he were double checking.

“Umm, yes.” Though now that she had a good
look at him, he didn’t seem all that happy after all. Beautiful, yes, but
happy? No, not really.

“With Jane?” he repeated.

“Yes? I mean, you went to counseling with
her and everything. Right?”

She didn’t know exactly when he’d gotten
quite so close or so tall. The man loomed over her. Possibly she had finally
perfected the art of sinking into the floor during moments of duress. It wasn’t
completely out of the question. Since infancy she’d been trying to perfect the
act during one mistake or another. Nice to know it had finally come to
fruition. If only it would work a little faster.

“Are you happy, Violet?” he asked.

“Thank God that’s over.” John breezed in,
oblivious.

“Get out,” his brother said.

“What?” The Chef ground to a halt.

“Get out,” Alex repeated.

John growled. “Again?”

“And lock the door.”

Her shoulders hit her ears when John
slammed it as well on his way out. Meanwhile, Alex took another step forward.
She would have retreated but she already stood in the corner, trapped behind
the big old desk with her back to the wall, trying to disappear. Sadly, it
didn’t seem to be working out so well for her after all.

“Are you happy, Violet?” he asked, his
voice very soft.

“Sure.” Her eyelids chose this moment to go
stupid, blinking crazily.

He set a hand on the wall to either side of
her head and leaned in. “See, I’m happy enough. But I could be happier.”

“Oh?” Every proximity warning alarm in her
head went nuts. For weeks she’d been doing her best to steer clear of him and
now here he was, all up close and personal. It was a disaster in the making.
She shoved her hands behind her back before she got grabby. The want to latch
on and not let go nearly overwhelmed her.

“You’re right,” he said. “I did go to
counseling with Jane. I had a lot of leftover anger to deal with and she kindly
agreed to help me out with that. We’re talking again. I doubt we’ll ever really
be friends, but I feel better for it and so does she.”

“Great,” she said, because she needed
something to say.

“I hadn’t really started moving on from
that whole situation but now I am. I got my own place and I’m getting myself
sorted.”

“That’s great.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “So here’s the thing,
Violet. I miss you. Which is kind of nuts when you consider how little time
we’ve actually spent together. And I want you. I really do. But this is the
last time we’re going to have this conversation because I am moving on with my
life. I have made that decision. Now, I would prefer that you were a part of it
outside of work, but you need to decide for yourself if that’s something you
want. Do you understand?”

“Y-yes.”

“Do you really?”

Did she? Her mind blanked. Critical mass
had been reached. “I, I, umm…”

For a moment he waited. Then slowly, he
began to back up, moving away from her. “You can do this, Violent. You just
have to decide if I’m worth the risk. Give it some thought.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

His smile was bittersweet. “Vi, it’s as
hard for me to trust you as it is for you to trust me. I get it, sweetheart. I
really do. But we’ve both got to start somewhere.”

Her heart beat so hard she might have been
having a heart attack. Or maybe a panic attack. One of the two. Problem was, it
wasn’t him that she didn’t trust. It was her. Her decisions sucked. History
confirmed it. This one already hurt, wouldn’t going back for more just compound
the issue?

Alex kept his eyes on her as he backed to
the door, flicked the lock and opened it. “Night, Vi.”

* * * * *

Alex forced a grin as the blonde in front
of him giggled and did her best to spill her cleavage onto the bar. “Negroni,
coming right up.”

Cue another giggle.

The bar had been packed solid,
standing-room only. Things were finally starting to calm down. So far as he
could see, the restaurant had been busy too. They’d be closing up now and the
bar wouldn’t be far behind. He hadn’t heard a peep from Violet since their talk
last night. That was what…almost twenty-four hours? Time enough if she felt the
way
he
did. He was not being the least bit unreasonable.

Fuck it. He’d done all he could. If she
wasn’t prepared to take a chance on him then that was that. Having spent years
trying to keep Jane happy when she wasn’t invested, he wouldn’t be going
straight back into a similar situation with another woman.

He handed the blonde her drink with a
friendly smile and put the cash in the register. Then he turned to face the
next customer.

“Violet.”

“Hi,” she said.

“Hey. How you doing?”

“Good.”

Her hair was piled up on top of her head
again in some ornate ’do. No one had cleavage like Violet did. No one could
even compare. She wore a plain black blouse and one of those tight knee-length
skirts she liked. He’d spied it earlier as she’d bent to pick something up.
Amazing that he hadn’t swallowed his tongue. But he wouldn’t be running after
her. No, not him. He was done making a dick of himself.

The blonde beside her made disgruntled noises.
Violet ignored her. So did he.

“I noticed the furniture was back in the
office,” she said.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “It was time.”

Her green eyes looked huge and gorgeous,
lined in black, and her lips shone like the stars. “Lucky you never had to move
the desk. It looks really heavy.”

“Ah, yeah. I bet it would be.”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “It’s probably really
solidly built.”

“Mm.”

She nodded all contemplative like. Where
the hell was she going with this?

The blonde fluffed her hair.

“Well,” said Vi, rolling back her shoulders
in the best possible way. Nothing else existed. She had his complete and
undivided attention. “I’m just going out back now.”

“Right.”

“To the office.” Her hand toyed with the
pendant around her neck, a cherry by the look of it. “That’s where I’ll be.”

“Okay.”

“Where that big, strong, solid desk is.”

“Huh.” He always
had
liked that
desk. Best desk ever. And the overwhelming urge he had to be with it right now
could not be denied.

“Bye, Alex.” The woman turned and meandered
off into the crowd, toward the staff exit. With a little extra something put
into her step if he wasn’t mistaken. Hard to tell with all the people around,
but still.

“Just go,” said Duncan before he could
utter a word.

“Thanks.”

He went.

Violent had her back to him when he stormed
in after her. He locked the door and she turned to face him, fingers undoing
the line of little buttons on her blouse.

“Vi, are you planning on using me for sex?”

“You don’t want to play boss and the
secretary with me?” She shucked the blouse, dropping it on the floor. Damn, she
had on his old friend, the dark-gray bra. She wore it so well. His mouth
watered.