Hearts' Desires (15 page)

             
“I know everything! You even sent Miss Helen to her death!”
             
Marens
slapped him and Louis stumbled backwards.
             
”You have no right to speak about my wife!”
             
The young man struggled to his feet again, staring angrily at his opponent. “You knew she was helping
uncle
Samuel! And that day—“

             
The very next second,
Marens
had his gun ready and pointed at the young man’s head. “Get off my property!
Now!”
 

After finishing the scene, the crew and actors met for a little coffee break while watching and checking the
footage
on tape.

             
“That was well done,” Vance congratulated Thabo.
             
“Thanks… I was that nervous, I thought I’d screw it up...”

             
Thabo grabbed the coffee mug one of the set dressers handed him and thanked him. “Wow, I feel as if I just finished a marathon!”
             
“Welcome to the club!” someone said laughing, and Th
a
bo grinned.
             
“Reminds me of filming in the Mojave Desert,” Vance started, “For ‘Heat of Death’. The director chased us around like on an e
x
treme sports competition. I had the worst sun burn ever!”

             
“Yeah,” Jake chimed in, “didn’t you charge a gallon jug of su
n
tan lotion on the producer’s account?”

             
“Vance?” Max shouted from the hotel. “Vance, you have tel
e
phone call from L.A.!”
             
“I’m on my way!”
             
Jake saw his friend walk to the porch, where Max handed him the wireless phone. And a moment later, Vance’s expre
s
sion fell and displayed shock. Jake couldn’t hear the words he said, but he didn’t remember ever seeing him like that in all those years. Le
t
ting the phone just drop on one of the porch chairs, Vance walked away into the direction of his bungalow.
             
Several other eyes now followed him.
             
The camera assistant set his coffee mug down and stood up, catching up to Vance with some hasty steps. “Hey, what’s going on?”
             
“Carolyn,” he answered with a hollow voice and shook his
head, still in disbelief. “She... she’s dead...”
             
Jake shoved him towards his own bungalow. Behind the door, he searched for his provision of Bourbon and poured Vance a glass. “Here, drink this first... and now... tell me.”
             
“They already tried to reach me yesterday...” Vance had em
p
tied the glass and reached for the bottle. “…while I was at the ba
r
becue.”

             
Thinking about the circumstances, he felt doubly guilty.

             
“She was on a survey flight for a construction area.
And...
and
the helicopter crashed. ... I always wanted to call her, but... my God, Jake, I can’t believe she is just... gone.”
The two old friends sat together in silence for a while. Som
e
times
,
no words were the most eloquent comfort.
Through the half open window sounded the call of several Sugar Birds.
Eventually, Vance stood up, turned towards the door, the Bourbon bottle in his hand.

             
“You don’t mind if I take a little drink with me, Jake?”
             
“Whatever you need!
And you know you can stay with me, if you like. You helped me when
Josy
left me – I’m here if you need someone.” He hugged his friend. “That’s what old pals are for, right, Vance?
Even in Hollywood!”
             
“I know I can count on you. Thank you. But I need some time alone.” His hand rested on the door grip, and he turned around again.

             
“Tell Alison I don’t feel good and I... went to lay down a bit.”
             
Jake sighed and watched worriedly as his friend left. This wasn’t the way a marriage should end – even if it had been a very troubled one!
It was getting dark outside. Vance stared in his nearly empty glass. His mind seemed empty, too, and blocked. Not willing to process anything further. Some memories of Carolyn had
flickered through his head, but they had left him untouched. He felt no pain and he could not cry, and this made him feel even guiltier. Where had his heart gone in those years; where had his passion and love gone; where had his life, their life together, gone?
             
When there was a knock at his door he was tempted not to open. Only when he recognized Alison’s voice, he rose from the chair, discovering he was not very stable on his feet anymore.

             
“Alison... I’m sorry... I’m not...”
             
“Jake told me what happened, Vance. Is there anything I can do?”
             
“No...
ah
... I’m okay.
Just a bit... drunk.
I’m sorry.”
             
”No need for excuses.
I know how it feels to lose som
e
one close.”

             
“No… it’s not … that way…” He tried hard to get the words out correctly. “Carolyn and I were … not that close a
n
ymore. There was anger and fights… every time we met. I wanted it to be over…I wished it would end.
But not that way!”

             
He buried his face in his hands. “It is over and there is nothing I can do about it! It is simply over! And I feel respons
i
ble…”

             
“It’s not your fault,” Alison said with low voice. Seeing Vance in this condition hurt her.

             
“It was an accident. There was nothing you could have done.”

             
He breathed deeply, raised his head again and stared at her. He was close to give into his longing to touch her face, her hair; just feel her and find comfort.

             
“Do you want a leave to fly back to the States?”

             
He shook his head. “I have to work!”

             
“You know, I can rearrange the shooting schedule and give you some time for yourself! Don’t think about the produ
c
tion now!”

             
“I appreciate that.
But…
I need my work. A day… or two will be enough. To make some phone calls and …” His voice trailed off, while his glance rested on her. Not able to control the impulsive reaction anymore, he pulled her into his arms, feeling dizzy in a chaos of emotions in which Alison was the only stable anchor.

             
“Vance?”

             
He realized what he was doing and let go off her. Mu
r
muring a sorry, he stumbled backwards and nearly fell over the chair’s leg. Only in the last second, he could grab the sideboard.

             
“You’d better lie down.”

             
Alison took his arm and guided him to the bed. “Don’t worry about anything.”

             
He wanted to talk; apologize. Or no, better plead with her not to leave. It felt so good to sense her caring hands. He couldn’t get a reasonable word out, though. Sleep dragged him away within the next moments.

             
Alison took off his shoes and placed them neatly in front of the bed. Then she turned to the door, but hesitated before opening it. She remembered the day her beloved grandmot
h
er had died.
Grandma, who had been the only one who u
n
derstood her; the only one who shared her love for theater and movies.
Alison had postponed her decision to leave the country for good only because of her. When she had died, no one had been there to provide co
m
fort – and nothing held her back anymore.

             
Alison looked at Vance again. His sleep was troubled. She h
e
sitated to leave him alone that way, as she had been alone 15 years ago. She stood another couple of minutes in the room just watc
h
ing him.

             
No, you can’t possibly stay here,
her moral conscience
suddenly told her.
How would this look?!?

             
However, she took the blanket and put it over Vance.

             
Lauren stood at the window of her bungalow and o
b
served the yard. She had seen Alison vanish in Vance’s bu
n
galow quite a while ago, and with every passing minute her jealousy and anger grew. Not enough that they showed up together at this barbecue yesterday....!
             
This old broad really tries to get to him!
Desperate to miss the last call?!
She did not know yet what had happened. No
n
etheless, she was sure Vance needed some warmth and comfort. Certainly, he did not need Alison!

             
Totally annoyed, Lauren decided a little workout would be a good idea and slipped on her tennis shoes. It was close to sunset already. The chirping and twittering of the birds sounded through the growing shadows, when she crossed the garden of the hotel. Some of the crew sat there at a table, playing Mahjong. They greeted her, and she waved back, e
n
joying the attention. Leaving the gate, she nearly collided with Thabo.
             
Why now, why me?
she
hissed silently.
             
“Hi, Lauren!”
Thabo looked as happy as if he had just won the jackpot. “You like jogging?
Me too.
I always run to get a clear mind. It’s like meditation for me. I even took part in the “Gees van Comrades” once; the famous marathon from Pi
e
termaritzburg to Du
r
ban. Ever heard of it?”
             
“Of course,” Lauren lied. She did not want him to notice that she absolutely knew nothing about the country and its traditions. Except the things, Vance had told her on the flight. However, then she had been busy absorbing his presence and the sound of his voice. Collecting knowledge hadn’t been a priority at the time.

             
“So how about a little race?” Thabo asked.
             
“Now?”
Lauren shrugged.
“
Uhm
… why not?”
             
It did not take more than the first few yards for her to rea
l
ize she did not have the slightest chance to beat him. At the moment, she was too preoccupied with Vance to get angry about being be
a
ten by this kid.
             
“You should run in the Olympics! Why do you bother with this acting stuff?” She asked after she caught her breath
.

             
“I like to escape into other worlds. I grew up in one of the townships,” he replied, suddenly very serious and looking much older. “You need a little dream place giving you strength to go on, when everything around you sinks deeper and de
e
per into trash and dirt every day… You don’t know what I’m talking about, right?”

             
Lauren made a sarcastic snort. “Believe
me,
I had my share of crap!”

             
“Everyone in my family said I’m nuts when I told them I want to be an actor,” Thabo continued while they hit the road back to the hotel, now at a slow pace. “First, I danced and recited stuff on the street, to squeeze some money out of the tourists, you know.”

             
Lauren listened with only half an ear, how a casting ma
n
ager had discovered the skinny boy two years ago. Okay, he had had a rough time. So had she! A
horders
’ slum home, an alcoholic who pretended to be her father, a mother she could only remember being pregnant and whining about life.

             
“Sometimes I thought I would never get anywhere and it was just a stupid dream,” Thabo’s voice invaded her thoughts again. “But--”

             
“You can achieve everything,” she cut him off decisively. “If you just fight hard enough and don’t let anyone take away what you’ve got already!”