Heart's Surrender (12 page)

“What? Nothing to say to defend yourself?” Linda asked.

“If it was in my power to undo what happened, I would. But I can’t. And the ‘bitch’ that was with me is only an old acquaintance. Nothing more.” Gillian looked into Linda’s hard eyes. “I made a mistake, a mistake that I deeply regret, but I came here tonight to talk to Sam, to apologize for what I did—or rather didn’t do.” She darted a glance at the table where the blonde slut was still plastered to Sam like mold on marmalade.

Linda slapped a hand on the bar. “Tell me something, Gillian. What was Sam to you? ‘Cause I really don’t get it.”

“She is—not was.” Gillian hesitated, unsure how to explain what she hadn’t put in words before. Love wasn’t the right label for hours of hot sex and some good conversation, but “casual fling” wasn’t true either. She had come to care a lot more for Sam than she expected. “I feel a lot for her. And I…I don’t want to lose her.”

Once again, her gaze was drawn to the small table where Sam and the blonde slut played easy to get with each other. Gillian bit her lip hard enough to taste blood, but the minor pain didn’t help dull the agony that burned inside her. “Seeing her with another woman…it hurts. A lot,” Gillian said in a low voice, certain it was still loud enough for Linda to hear. She picked up the empty glass. “Can I have another one?” One more drink couldn’t hurt.

Linda shook her head. “No, first you have to tell me how important Sam is to you.”

“Very important.” Gillian had no idea why she even answered Linda’s question.

Linda snorted. “Is that why you pretended not to know her?”

Gillian cursed inwardly. Hearing those words hurt nearly as much as reliving the painful minutes again and again in her memories. “She told you?”

“Yep, though I nearly had to beat it out of her.”

“I panicked.” Gillian’s neck muscles tensed.

“Excuse me?”

“I said I panicked.” The urge to get up and leave grew. There was no way Linda or Sam would understand her background and the problems it caused.

“Why for God’s sake? Did you believe Sam would hump you in front of your friend?”

Shame was replaced by a burning anger. “I’m not stupid,” Gillian snapped.

Linda leaned an elbow on the bar. “So what, Gillian? Did you believe coming here dressed to the nines in that little black number would be enough to make Sam crawl back to you?”

“No, I…” Gillian inhaled around the knot in her throat. “I only wanted to talk to her.” She didn’t need to tell Linda that she had indeed hoped that Sam might forgive her, that she had dreamed about them becoming even closer than before.

Laughter echoed from a nearby table, distracting Gillian from her thoughts. A group of three women, each pierced in various parts of their faces, got up to leave. They oozed a raw sexuality that, even to Gillian, left no room for misunderstanding what they were up to. Gillian felt so out of her league. This wasn’t her turf.
Why did I come? This will lead to nothing.
A heavy weight settled on her shoulders.

“I don’t get you, Gillian. I really don’t,” Linda said, shaking her head. “But I have to give it to you…you have balls showing up here tonight.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter anymore, does it?” Gillian stared at her empty glass.

“You’re serious about Sam?” Linda asked, arching an eyebrow. “I mean serious enough to grovel and beg, and not do the same shitty thing again?”

“I would, but what’s the point?” Gillian nodded at Sam’s table. “She’s found a substitute. Maybe this is just as well.”

“Oh, come on, Gillian. Sam is as drunk as a skunk. And little Barbie over there is just hoping to get laid.” Linda snickered. “It seems she’s not aware that Sam is in no shape to provide that kind of service tonight.”

For a moment, hope blossomed in Gillian. She looked into Linda’s brown eyes that had lost some of their coldness. “I’m not here to hurt her.” She struggled for words, afraid to hope again. “Do you really think she’s still interested in me?”

“Gillian, it doesn’t matter what I think. The question is what you want.”

There was no question about what she wanted. “I want her, I want ‘us’ back. And I want to…” Gillian swallowed hard. “I want to see if we can have more. Together.”

A muscle in Linda’s jaw twitched.

Gillian steeled herself against Linda’s response.

“Are you ready to fight for her?” Linda held up a hand before Gillian could answer. “And I don’t just mean tonight, Gillian. You have to treat her with respect no matter what comes your way.”

Days ago she would have answered yes. Without any doubt. But life had taught her a painful lesson about herself. Truth was that she didn’t have as much backbone as she thought. “I can only promise that I’ll try my very best.”

Linda’s gaze became cold again. Her eyes drilled into Gillian and caused her to shiver. “I can’t say that I like you very much or that I understand her infatuation with you. And let me tell you one more thing—you hurt Sam again in any way and I’ll kick your pretty ass from here to your fancy place in the suburbs. But if she means half as much to you as you do to her…than go over there and teach Barbie a lesson. Prove you’re willing to fight for Sam.”

Gillian stared at Linda, not sure if she heard correctly. “I didn’t think you meant fighting literally.”

“Oh, please. Gillian, get over there before little Barbie hauls Sam home or before I rethink my decision to encourage you.” Linda pushed Gillian off the barstool. “Now!”

Before Gillian had a chance to respond, Linda turned her back and began chatting with the bartender, simply ignoring her.

A bubble of anger heated Gillian’s belly, replacing the depression that had settled into the pit of her stomach earlier in the evening. As furious as Gillian felt about Linda’s treatment, the other woman was right. She had to do something or risk losing Sam forever. If she left now, all would be over. If she fought for Sam…well, the worst that could happen was that she would make a fool of herself. It was worth a try. She didn’t have anything to lose. Not anymore.

Gillian focused her attention as well as her anger on the table where the blonde was sticking her breasts—were those things even real?—in Sam’s clearly befuddled face.

Okay, that’s it.
No matter what happened next, she refused to stand there and watch this…this slut seduce Sam. She had to talk to Sam and see if they could sort things out, but first Gillian had to stake her claim before it was too late. She marched to the table and tapped the blonde’s shoulder.

“What?” the woman muttered without turning her head.

“You’re sitting on my lap.” Vibrating with anger, Gillian loomed over the stranger, who finally deigned to look at her.

Surprise was clearly written on the blonde’s face. She looked Gillian up and down. “Are you crazy or what? Go find yourself someone else to bother.” She held out one hand and wiggled her fingers in a good-bye motion.

“No, you go bother someone else. I am sure you’ll find a woman here who’ll be more than happy to fuck you all night long. Only not this one.” Gillian pointed at a confused Sam, who seemed to be having a hard time keeping her eyes focused. “This one is mine, and if you don’t get up, I’m going to perforate your little ass with my Manolo stilettos.”

Laughter and comments from women at nearby tables made it obvious that they had an attentive audience, but Gillian was past caring. She had to keep going if she wanted to take Sam home and scrub the stink of another woman’s perfume off her.

The blonde climbed off Sam, who didn’t look happy about losing her new plaything.

“No, shday…we’ll…we’ll have fun…lods of…” She tried to pull the blonde back onto her lap.

Jealousy and fury ate at Gillian until she trembled. She pushed the blonde out of her way and pointed a finger in Sam’s face. “You listen to me. We are going home and we are going to talk. And if you want to have your slutty girlfriend back after our talk, I am sure, Ms.-I-Can-Go-All-Night over there will be happy to welcome you into her arms again. But tonight, I’m the one calling the shots, understood?”

For the first time, Sam’s eyes met hers. Gillian’s heart nearly broke from the pain reflected back at her, a pain that she had caused. “I am so sorry, love,” she whispered.

“Does it look like Sam wants to go anywhere with you?” Apparently not ready to cave in, the blonde stepped between Gillian and Sam, her move effectively breaking their eye contact. “What you want here is of zero interest to anyone,” she said snottily. “You’d better try your luck somewhere else and leave us the hell alone.”

Gillian gritted her teeth, trying to rein in her temper. Never before had she come so close to hitting someone. She braced her hands on her hips, ready to use some of the obscene vocabulary she had learned from watching HBO, when suddenly a strong, coffee-colored hand reached around Gillian to grip the slut’s shoulder.

“Roxanne,” Skyler said. “Why don’t you try your luck elsewhere? Preferably now!”

Giving them both murderous looks, Roxanne grabbed her purse and left.

Relief flooded Gillian’s body. With a few pointed words Skyler had done what she could not. “Wow.” Impressed, Gillian watched Roxanne walk over to the bar. “One day I would like to know what kind of history you two have.”

Skyler grinned. “A gentlewoman never kisses and tells. Anything else I can assist you with?”

Now that the fight was won, Gillian wasn’t sure what to do. She couldn’t take Sam home with her but she certainly could take her to the city apartment. That way Sam couldn’t throw Gillian out after waking up tomorrow. They needed to talk. The city apartment was Gillian’s best bet. “Could you help me get Sam into the taxi outside?”

“Sure.” Skyler bent down. “Come on, Sam. Don’t let your lady wait.”

“Shesch not my lady, no more.” Sam shook her head.

The words cut razor sharp into Gillian.

Skyler chuckled. “Well, she seems determined to be your lady. And you know how these femmes are, right?” She whispered something in Sam’s ear.

Gillian had never seen Sam giggle like a schoolgirl. But whatever Skyler said, worked. A moment later Sam struggled off her chair.

Good-natured whistles and shouts accompanied them as they left the bar, Skyler supporting Sam on one side, Gillian struggling to keep up on the other.

“Here we are, ma’am,” the taxi driver said.

No!
Gillian didn’t want the ride to end and she surely didn’t want to open her eyes. The length of Sam’s body was pressed along hers, Sam’s head cushioned on her shoulder. This moment felt so sweet, so wonderful. Reality was a bitch.

“Ma’am?”

Gillian sighed, opening her eyes. Through the fogged window on her right she saw they had stopped at the apartment building. With relief she also noticed that Thomas had stepped outside to see if his services were required. She knocked on the window, hoping to catch his attention.

His eyebrows drew up and he nodded.

Thank you.
Gillian focused on the patiently waiting driver. “Sorry. I must have dozed off during the ride.”

“Yeah, and you’re not the only one. I guess you’ll have to wake Sleeping Beauty there.” He looked at Sam, who continued to snore in complete oblivion.

“Yes, I should.”

The door on Gillian’s side was opened. “Good evening, Mrs. Jennings. Is there anything I can do?”

“Good evening, Thomas. Indeed. Could you get over at Sam’s side and help me get her into the apartment.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Gillian took one of Sam’s calloused hands into hers and squeezed it gently. “Hey, Sam. We’re here. Time to wake up.”

A smile played at the corners of Sam’s mouth before she snuggled closer to Gillian.

At least she’s not upset with me when she’s asleep.
That, however, made waking Sam even harder. “Hello, sleepyhead.” Gently, Gillian brushed Sam’s hair back and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. Right now she really didn’t care what the taxi driver or Thomas thought of her behavior. A hint of bergamot and sandalwood teased her nose, a scent that reminded her of summer and the ocean. “This isn’t your bed, honey. It’s a taxi,” she said. “You have to wake up.”

Drowsy brown eyes opened a slit. Sam licked her lips and turned her head toward Gillian, obviously still caught in dreams.

Hot breath caressed the side of Gillian’s neck, causing exquisite shivers to run through her body. She gasped when the warmth was suddenly replaced by wet heat as Sam began to nibble on her earlobe. Every nerve Gillian owned tingled with excitement.

The driver cleared his throat, shattering the moment.

“What?” Sam drew back and looked around, clearly disoriented. The tender trust which seconds ago had been present in Sam’s beautiful eyes was now replaced by a pained suspicion. Reality had clawed its way back into the moment. Her dream was over. Sam flinched away from Gillian’s touch, causing the leather upholstery to groan in protest.

“Do you think you can manage to get out of the car or do you need help?” Gillian’s voice sounded rough to her own ears.

“I can.” The tip of Sam’s tongue appeared in the corner of her mouth, and her brows knit together in deep concentration.

Despite the pain that scratched inside her chest, Gillian smiled. Sam’s expression was a perfect imitation of the one her son wore whenever he tried to solve a problem that was beyond his scope.

The door on Sam’s side was opened and Thomas’ head appeared inside the taxi. “Hello, Samantha.”

Letting out a grunt, Sam leaned toward the open door, her momentum nearly causing her to fall out of the car.

Gillian grabbed the back of Sam’s jacket. “Hang on there.”

“I’ll give her a hand.” He took hold of Sam’s arms and carefully maneuvered her out of the taxi.