Heaven (40 page)

Even though God will wipe away the tears and sorrow attached to this world, he will
not
erase from our minds human history and Christ's interven­tion. Remember that Christ's resurrection body has nail-scarred hands
and feet (John 20:24-29). Seeing those scars in Heaven will always remind us that our sins nailed Jesus to the cross. Heaven's
happiness won't be dependent on our ig­norance of what happened on Earth. Rather, it will be enhanced by our in­formed appreciation
of God's glorious grace and justice as we grasp what really happened here.

The Greek word for truth,
aletheia,
is a negated form of the verb translated "to forget"; knowing the truth means
to stop forgetting.
While a word's history doesn't determine its present meaning, in this case it's certainly suggestive. A Christian view of
truth is based not on forgetting but on remembering. Truth is seeing God at work in all events in our past, present, and future.

The New Earth will include memorials to the twelve tribes and the apostles (Revelation 21:12-14). This indicates continuity
and memory of history. If we're aware of others'pasts on the old Earth, surely we'llbe aware of our own.

God's acts of sovereign faithful grace will never be erased from our minds. Heaven's happiness will be dependent not on our
ignorance but on our perspec­tive. We'll see and know as never before.

WILL WE RECOGNIZE EACH OTHER?

When asked if we would recognize friends in Heaven, George MacDonald re­sponded, "Shall we be greater fools in Paradise than
we are here?"
²⁶¹

Yet many people wonder whether we'll know each other in Heaven. What lies behind that question is Christoplatonism and the
false assumption that in Heaven we'll be disembodied spirits who lose our identities and memories. How does someone recognize
a spirit?

As we've seen, however, these assumptions are unbiblical. (See appendix A for further discussion.) Christ's disciples recognized
him countless times after his resurrection. They recognized him on the shore as he cooked breakfast for them (John 21:1-14).
They recog­nized him when he appeared to a skeptical Thomas (John 20:2429). They recognized him when he appeared to five hundred
people at once (1 Corinthians 15:6).

But what about Mary at the garden tomb or the two men on the road to Emmaus? They didn't recognize Jesus. Some people have
argued from this that Jesus was unrecognizable. But a closer look shows otherwise.

How happy is that love, in which there is an eternal progress in all these things; wherein new beauties are continually discovered,
and more and more loveliness, and in which we shall forever increase in beauty ourselves; where we shall be made capable of
finding out and giving, and shall receive, more and more endearing expressions of love forever: our union will become more
close, and communication more intimate.

JONATHAN EDWARDS

Jesus said to Mary in the gar­den, " 'Woman . . . why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?' Thinking he was the
gardener, she said, 'Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him'" (John 20:15).

Distressed, teary-eyed Mary, knowing Jesus was dead, and not making eye contact with a stranger, naturally assumed he was
the gardener. But as soon as Jesus said her name, she recognized him: "She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, 'Rabboni!'
(which means Teacher)" (John 20:16).

Some commentators emphasize that the disciples on the Emmaus road didn't recognize Jesus. But notice what the text says: "As
they talked and dis­cussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they
were kept from
recognizing him" (Luke 24:15-16, emphasis added). God miraculously intervened to keep them from recognizing him. The implication
is that apart from supernatural intervention, the men would have recognized Jesus, as they did later: "Then their eyes were
opened and they rec­ognized him, and he disappeared from their sight" (Luke 24:31).

Another indication that we'll recognize people in Heaven is Christ's trans­figuration. Christ's disciples recognized the bodies
of Moses and Elijah, even though the disciples couldn't have known what the two men looked like (Luke 9:29-33). This may suggest
that personality will emanate through a person's body, so we'll instantly recognize people we know
of
but haven't previously met. If we can recognize those we've never seen, how much more will we recognize our family and friends?

Scripture gives no indication of a memory wipe causing us not to recognize family and friends. Paul anticipated being with
the Thessalonians in Heaven, and it never occurred to him he wouldn't know them. In fact, if we wouldn't know our loved ones,
the "comfort" of an afterlife reunion, taught in 1 Thessalonians 4:14-18, would be no comfort at all. J. C. Ryle said of this
pas­sage, "There would be no point in these words of consolation if they did not im­ply the mutual recognition of saints.
The hope with which he cheers wearied Christians is the hope of meeting their beloved friends again.... But in the mo­ment
that we who are saved shall meet our several friends in heaven, we shall at once know them, and they will at once know us."
²⁶²

The continuity of our resurrection minds and bodies argues that we'll have no trouble recognizing each other—in fact, we'll
have much
less
trouble. In Heaven we probably won't fail to recognize an acquaintance in a crowd, or for­get people's names.

Missionary Amy Carmichael had strong convictions on this question:

Shall we know one another in Heaven? Shall we love and remember? I do not think anyone need wonder about this or doubt for
a single moment. We are never told we shall, because, I expect, it was not necessary to say anything about this which our
own hearts tell us. We do not need words. For if we think for a minute, we know. Would you be yourself if you did not love
and remember? . . . We are told that we shall be like our Lord Jesus. Surely this does not mean in holiness only, but in everything;
and does not He know and love and remem­ber? He would not be Himself if He did not, and we should not be ourselves if we did
not.
²⁶³

CHAPTER 35

WILL THERE BE MARRIAGE, FAMILIES, AND FRIENDSHIPS?

R
eceiving a glorified body and relocating to the New Earth doesn't erase history, it culminates history. Nothing will negate
or minimize the fact that we were members of families on the old Earth. My daughters will always be my daughters, although
first and foremost they are and will be God's daugh­ters. My grandchildren will always be my grandchildren. Resurrection bodies
presumably have chromosomes and DNA, with a signature that forever testifies to our genetic connection with family.

Heaven won't be without families but will be one big family, in which all family members are friends and all friends are family
members. We'll have fam­ily relationships with people who were our blood family on Earth. But we'll also have family relationships
with our friends, both old and new. We can't take ma­terial things with us when we die, but we do take our friendships to
Heaven, and one day they'll be renewed.

Many of us treasure our families. But many others have endured a lifetime of brokenheartedness stemming from twisted family
relationships. In Heaven neither we nor our family members will cause pain. Our relationships will be harmonious—what we've
longed for.

When someone told Jesus that his mother and brothers were wanting to see him, he replied, "My mother and brothers are those
who hear God's word and put it into practice" (Luke 8:19-21). Jesus was saying that devotion to God creates a bond transcending
biological family ties. Jesus also said that those who follow him will gain "brothers, sisters, mothers, children" (Mark 10:29-30).
I think of this when I experience an immediate depth of relationship with a fellow Christian I've just met.

If you weren't able to have children on Earth or if you've been separated from your children, both now and later God will
give you relationships that will meet your needs to guide, help, serve, and invest in others. Your parental long­ings will
be fulfilled. If you've never had a parent you could trust, you'll find trustworthy parents everywhere in Heaven, reminding
you of your Father. And you can start with some of those relationships here.

So, it's not at all true that there will be "no family in Heaven." On the con­trary, there will be
one
great family—and none of us will ever be left out. Every time we see someone, it will be a family reunion.

WILL THERE BE MARRIAGE AND FAMILY?

One group of religious leaders, the Sadducees, tried to trick Jesus with a question about marriage in Heaven. They didn't
believe in the resurrection of the dead. At­tempting to make him look foolish, they told Jesus of a woman who had seven husbands
who all died. They asked him, "Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were
married to her?" (Matthew 22:28).

Christ replied, "At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven"
(Matthew 22:30).

There's a great deal of regret and misunderstanding about this passage. A woman wrote me, "I struggle with the idea that there
won't be marriage in heaven. I believe I'll really miss it."

But the Bible does
not
teach there will be no marriage in Heaven. In fact, it makes clear there
will be
marriage in Heaven. What it says is that there will be
one
marriage, between Christ and his bride—and we'll all be part of it. Paul links human marriage to the higher reality it mirrors:
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This
is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church" (Ephesians 5:31-32).

The one-flesh marital union we know on Earth is a signpost pointing to our re­lationship with Christ as our bridegroom. Once
we reach the destination, the sign­post becomes unnecessary. That one marriage—our marriage to Christ—will be so completely
satisfying that even the most wonderful earthly marriage couldn't be as fulfilling.

Earthly marriage is a shadow, a copy, an echo of the true and ultimate mar­riage. Once that ultimate marriage begins, at the
Lamb's wedding feast, all the human marriages that pointed to it will have served their noble purpose and will be assimilated
into the one great marriage they foreshadowed. "The pur­pose of marriage is not to replace Heaven, but to prepare us for it."
²⁶⁴

Here on Earth we long for a perfect marriage. That's exactly what we'll have—a perfect marriage with Christ. My wife, Nanci,
is my best friend and my closest sister in Christ. Will we become more distant in the new world? Of course not—we'll become
closer, I'm convinced. The God who said "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18) is the giver and blesser of
our rela­tionships. Life on this earth matters. What we do here touches strings that re­verberate for all eternity. Nothing
will take away from the fact that Nanci and I are marriage partners here and that we invest so much of our lives in each other,
serving Christ together. I fully expect no one besides God will understand me better on the New Earth, and there's nobody
whose company I'll seek and enjoy more than Nanci's.

The joys of marriage will be far greater because of the character and love of our bridegroom. I rejoice for Nanci and for
me that we'll both be married to the most wonderful person in the universe. He's already the one we love most—there is no
competition. On Earth, the closer we draw to him, the closer we draw to each other. Surely the same will be true in Heaven.
What an honor it will be to always know that God chose us for each other on this old Earth so that we might have a foretaste
of life with him on the New Earth.

People with good marriages are each other's best friends. There's no reason to believe they won't still be best friends in
Heaven.

Jesus said the institution of human marriage would end, having fulfilled its purpose. But he never hinted that deep relationships
between married people would end. In our lives here, two people can be business partners, tennis partners, or pinochle partners.
But when they're no longer partners, it doesn't mean their friendship ends. The relationship built during one kind of partnership
often car­ries over to a permanent friendship after the partnership has ended. I expect that to be true on the New Earth for
family members and friends who stood by each other here.

God usually doesn't replace his original creation, but when he does, he re­places it with something that is far better, never
worse. Mormons attempt to have marriages permanently bound for eternity, but this disregards Christ's di­rect statement. Being
married to Christ will be the ultimate thrill.

What about our children? What about my relationship to my daughters and sons-in-law and closest friends? There's every reason
to believe we'll pick right up in Heaven with relationships from Earth. We'll gain many new ones but will continue to deepen
the old ones. I think we'll especially enjoy connecting with those we faced tough times with on Earth and saying, "Did you
ever imagine Heaven would be so wonderful?"

The notion that relationships with family and friends will be lost in Heaven, though common, is unbiblical. It denies the
clear doctrine of continuity between this life and the next and suggests our earthly lives and relationships have no eter­nal
consequence. It completely contradicts Paul's intense anticipation of being with the Thessalonians and his encouraging them
to look forward to rejoining their loved ones in Heaven.

WILL THERE BE SEX?

As we saw earlier, we'll maintain distinct genders in our resurrection bodies. We'll be male or female. But will there be
sex in the sense of sexual relations? If human marriage existed on the New Earth, by all means I would expect it to in­clude
sex. Sexual relations existed before the Fall and were not the product of sin and the Curse; they were God's perfect design.
Since the lifting of the Curse will normally restore what God originally made, we would expect sex to be part of that. Given
what we know about continuity between this life and the next, marriage and sex seem natural carryovers.

However, as we've seen, Christ made it clear that people in Heaven wouldn't be married to each other. He wasn't talking merely
about the present Heaven, but "in the resurrection." He was specifically saying there will be no marriage among resurrected
people on the resurrected Earth.

Because sex was designed to be part of a marriage relationship, marriage and sex logically belong together. Because we're
told that humans won't be married to each other, and sex is intended for marriage, then logically we won't be en­gaging in
sex.

This appears to be, then, an exception to the principle of continuity. How­ever, since there's a different sort of continuity
between earthly marriage and the marriage of Christ to his church, there may also be some way in which the inti­macy and pleasure
we now know as sex will also be fulfilled in some higher form. I don't know what that would be, but I do know that sex was
designed by God, and I don't expect him to discard it without replacing it with something better. There's a unique metaphysical
power to sexual union. It's no coincidence that pagan worship often involved sexual acts. As immoral as these acts were, they
recognized a transcendent spiritual nature to sex. This otherworldliness is again a signpost—and it suggests that sexual relations
in this world foreshadow something greater in the next world.

Certainly we should reject all christoplatonic assumptions that sex, which God called "very good," would be unworthy of Heaven.
Rather than viewing marriage and sex as bad things to be replaced by good ones, we should view them as good things somehow
transformed or resurrected into better ones.

If we won't have sex in Heaven and if in Heaven there's no frustration of desire, then it appears we won't desire sex. This
isn't because we won't have physical de sires, of course—we'll desire food and water. But what we
will
desire—and always enjoy—is the relational intimacy that was the best part of sex. We may discover, as we lookback, that sex
prefigured what it means to be lost in intimacy with Christ. Once we're married to him, we'll be at the destination that marital
sex pointed to as a signpost.

Will our resurrection bodies have sex organs? Since men will be men, and women will be women, and since there will be direct
conti­nuity between the old bodies and the new, there's every reason to be­lieve they will. Is that inconsistent, since they
wouldn't be fulfilling a function for which they were de­signed? Not necessarily. Jesus was a perfect man, yet he was single
and abstained from sex. Unmarried people on Earth have been called to celibacy, but they are still fully human.

If I knew that never again would I recognize

that beloved one with whom I spent more than

thirty-nine years here on earth, my anticipation

of heaven would much abate. To say that we

shall be with Christ and that that will be

enough, is to claim that there we shall be

without the social instincts and affections

which mean so much to us here. . . . Life

beyond cannot mean impoverishment, but the

enhancement and enrichment of life as we

have known it here at its best.

W. GRAHAM SCROGGIE

The earth will have been filled with people conceived through procreation, and we will experience deep intimacy with Christ,
our bridegroom. So the pur­poses of sex will have been fulfilled. We'll participate in what sex was always pointing to—deep
and engaging relational intimacy. We won't imagine we're missing out.

A single woman told me she would feel great loss if she went to Heaven never having had a great romance. But our romance with
Christ will far exceed any earthly romance. No romance is perfect, and many end in disappointment. Our romance with Christ
will never disappoint.

Someone wrote, "What will fill the void of marital intimacy in Heaven?" There will be no void. We'll have greater marital
intimacy with Jesus than we ever had in the best earthly marriages.

A man whose wife died of cancer wrote me, "We could no longer have sex­ual relations, but our depth of partnership became
greater than ever. Our rela­tionship came to transcend sex." This will presumably be true of our human relationships in Heaven.

In response to the disappointment some feel at the idea of no sexual inter­course in Heaven, C. S. Lewis wrote,

I think our present outlook might be like that of a small boy who, on being told that the sexual act was the highest bodily
pleasure should immediately ask whether you ate chocolates at the same time. On receiving the answer "No," he might regard
absence of chocolates as the chief characteristic of sexuality. In vain would you tell him that the reason why lovers in their
carnal raptures don't bother about chocolates is that they have something better to think of. The boy knows chocolate: he
does not know the positive thing that excludes it. We are in the same position. We know the sexual life; we do not know, except
in glimpses, the other thing which, in Heaven, will leave no room for it.
²⁶⁵

WILL WE BE REUNITED WITH INFANTS WHO HAVE DIED?

We'll be reunited in Heaven with all believing loved ones. But what about in­fants, small children, and those who are mentally
handicapped or have died too young to believe in Christ?

In Adam, all mankind sinned (Romans 5:12). We're conceived sinners (Psalm 51:5). Thus, children, as well as the mentally handicapped,
have a sin nature and are separated from God. If God were willing to tolerate a certain number of sins but no more, then children
who die young may not have reached their limit, thereby qualifying for Heaven. But Scripture teaches that the pres­ence of
any sin is enough to separate us from God (James 2:10). To say "Well, of course children are saved" won't suffice—given their
sin natures, there is no "of course" about it.