Heaven's Touch (15 page)

“Oh, I don't know about that. She seemed pretty smitten with you.”

“You read too many romance novels, sweetie.”

“There's no such thing! There can never be too much romance in this world.”

Not in his world. There was none, and there hadn't been any softness or love or comfort for so long, he hadn't realized how stark and bleak it was. Just work and duty and doing a job only those with iron will and steel nerves could do. But it was his life. It was what he had. And if he wanted Cadence… It's too bad, buddy. You have to go back.

The best thing to do was to avoid her. To keep his gaze from finding her in the crowd. To keep his soul from responding to hers so that there would be no more pain, no more devastation, no more loss.

Too late. The instant he followed Rachel through the doorway into the reception hall, his soul stirred at her presence. He turned to her like the earth to the sun, and his gaze found hers as if an invisible bond pulled them together. Even though he was doing his level best to tear them apart.

“There's Cadence.” Rachel's hand pressed against his forearm, as if trying to will him into changing his mind about romance. “Take it from someone who's been waiting for love to come into my life for a long time, and it hasn't. If you love her, seize hold of it. Don't let it pass you by a second
time. Why else did God bring Cadence back into our lives?”

“Coincidence?”

“Good try, big brother, but I don't think so.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek, his sister who was sweet as pie, and left him standing alone as Cadence dipped her chin. She was in line to congratulate the bride and groom and slipped away, disappearing through the crowd.

Unfortunately for her, he was a soldier trained for detail, and he didn't lose track of her. She was bypassing the beverage table and the cloth-draped tables full of candy and nut bowls and finger-food trays and past the caterers setting up for the buffet, heading for the side exit where she could slip away unnoticed.

She's leaving. The smart thing would be to let her go, because that's what she wanted. The trouble was, it wasn't what he wanted.

He realized he couldn't leave things like this between them. It would be no better than how it had been before when he'd run off to join the air force and left her behind to follow her dreams to Olympic gold. The trouble was that neither of them had ended up with the happiness they'd sacrificed to let the other find.

Is this in Your plan, Lord? Or am I trying to hang on to what I should let go of?
He didn't know the answer. He only knew it felt as if his ribs were going
to disintegrate from the agonizing pressure in his chest. From the wrenching emotional pain of facing his future without her.

He didn't know why he did it or what he intended to do. He was simply marching after her, weaving around small groups of folks talking. Then dodging kids racing to the refreshment tables and promising Ed Brisbane and his buddies, who called for him to join them, that he'd be back. It seemed to take forever to wade through the crowd to the side door, and he might as well have been swimming against the tide for all the progress he made.

Then finally he was pushing open the door and emerging into the dazzling heat and light, the grass lush and crisp beneath his dress shoes as he yanked at the annoying monkey tie choking him at the throat. He dragged in gulps of air, preparing to do battle, preparing to face whatever it was he had to. He had to know. He had to hear her say the words, because if he went back to Hurlburt and didn't know for sure if she loved him, he wouldn't be able to stand it. He'd never be able to put to rest this unbearable pain that was eating him up.

Feeling alone, he scanned the grounds. No Cadence. Not on any of the benches. Not seated beneath the shady trees. Where had she gone? The blades of grass ruffled in a whispering breeze. Leaves rustled overhead. The long low limbs of flowering cherries
and the broad sturdy arms of the maples shaded him as he followed the light indentation of a woman's sandals, quite different from the boots of men he was used to tracking.

He followed her shoe prints to the far corner of the back lawn. To the left stretched the cemetery, markers solemn and flowers bright. To the right the land gave way to the wild sunflowers and crimson Indian paintbrush and thick bear grass dried to dark amber.

Cadence stood with wildflowers brushing her skirt, overlooking the wide Gallatin River, which sparkled in the bright day, rushing quiet and deep. She seemed lost in thought, watching the gleaming river. And with her back to him, she couldn't have heard him approach, although her spine stiffened and he watched tension creep into her shoulders.

She feels this, too, he realized. This synchronicity. This connection. Encouraged, he made his way through the dried grass that crunched beneath his uncomfortable shoes. He yanked open the top buttons at his collar because his chest was tightening again and he needed every ounce of air he could drag into his lungs in order to get this out.

He had to know before he called his colonel and made the decision to come back early. He had to know there was no other possible future. No reason to stay in Montana a few more weeks while he could. Unless…

Unless. He stopped a few feet short of her. Jammed his hands into his pockets. Tried to figure out what to say. How to start. She didn't make it any easier. She didn't move. She didn't acknowledge him. She didn't give a hint as to whether she was being tortured by this, too—this not knowing, this fear of rejection, this overwhelming fear that maybe, just maybe, if they did it right, true love could have a second chance. That they could have a happy ending.

But where did he start?

The beach down below was busy. They were on the high end of the river. The bank rose a good ten yards higher on this side, giving way to a rock-and-clay beach below. Kids were taking advantage of the sizzling weather to escape into the cool river. Packs of kids on inner tubes floated by. A family in a motorboat. More kids roughhousing in the shallow waters by the shore.

“Once you're a lifeguard, you're always a lifeguard,” he found himself saying. “I still can't just look at the river. I have to count heads and make sure everyone's accounted for.”

“And be five steps ahead so you can stop disaster from happening.” Cadence nodded, keeping her gaze on the swimmers and boaters below.

The high shrieks of kids at play peppered the air and emphasized the long silence that fell between them. Between the few feet separating them that felt as wide as the river.

I love you so much. He choked on the power of that single emotion. Not fear, not anger, nothing in his life had felt this much. Hurt this much. And yet when he laid his hand on her shoulder, ignoring the fact that she startled beneath his touch, the brightness in his soul returned. Radiance that made only one thing clear.

Heaven was giving him his answer.

He had everything to lose if he didn't tell her how he felt. If he did not risk everything right this minute. The future stood in the balance between them.

Since no words would come—he wasn't good with them anyway—he caught her face with both his hands, tipped it toward his and kissed her long and sure so she would know. So she would have to pull him close or push him away.

T
he first brush of Ben's kiss surprised her. She wasn't prepared for it. She hadn't imagined it. She'd expected him to kindly say goodbye. What else was there left to say between them? Shock filled her, and she couldn't react. She couldn't think, only feel as his kiss turned tender, a sweet, loving brush of his mouth to hers that seemed more like dream than reality.

But this was real. The agony in her heart. The sorrow in her soul. The breeze on her skin and the crisp sharp scent of dried grass and ripe wildflowers. The sharp rise and fall of kids screaming as they skidded down the fast river in their flotation devices.

Real, and no dream.

Ben was kissing her goodbye with all the tenderness of a wish come true. If this was the only tender
ness she would know from this fine man he'd become, then it would have to be enough. She savored the strong feel of his heartbeat beneath her palms. The masculine scent of his aftershave. The luxury of his kiss.

Don't let this moment end,
she prayed, for she was so grateful for it. For when the kiss ended and Ben moved away from her, he would be gone. All things ended, and she nearly cried out as he pulled his lips from hers. The love in her soul shone so brightly she could no longer see the sky or the river or even the man in front of her.

Or maybe that was the sun blurring in her tears. She swiped at her eyes, surprised her fingertips came away damp.

“You're crying.” The caress of his baritone moved through her spirit, and she could feel his affection as his hand remained cradling her face, as if he could not bear to let her go.

Just as she clung to him, unable to make her hand release the handful of his jacket she'd only just realized she was squeezing. Self-conscious of her emotions, of the feelings that bubbled out of her no matter how hard she willed them down, she nodded her head, knowing she had to be honest.

In a way that she could keep her dignity and allow him to leave, she spoke only the truth. “I am crying. Amy has found happiness. Your leg will recover and
you'll have what we've all been praying for. Good news all around. God is gracious.”

“Yes, He is.” Thoughtful, Ben did not move away. “What about you, Cadence? What about your happiness? What have you been praying for?”

“I've been praying for you—on your behalf,” she corrected, the instant she realized her mistake. “I want only the best for you. Only the very best.”

“That's what I want for you, too.” He winced as if she'd struck him, and she didn't know why. “You have a lot here. Your work and your coaching.”

“I do. It makes me happy.” It was the truth. It was the only option she had. God had led her here, He'd been gracious to her despite so many mistakes in trusting people, and she was trying her best to let Ben go. To give him what made him happy.

But that's not entirely true, her conscience scolded her. When she looked into her heart she was afraid to trust that God might have brought her here to love this man, and she was too afraid. She was too afraid that as much as she'd wanted true love, it didn't often exist. She was afraid to put her trust in it one more time.

Ben had made no promises. No declarations. He'd spoken only of going back to his base. And if his kiss was like a dream of what true love should be…what about that? She didn't know. She only knew that it was safer to let him go.

His gaze turned fierce—not angry or threatening,
but intense. And she felt the shock of it pierce her. As if he were trying to see the truth inside her.

“I know you love me. I can feel it here.” His fist landed on his heart. “But what I want to know is if you love me enough? I've got almost three more years to go before I can retire. I'm in and there's nothing I can do about it. I have to go to Florida.”

“I know you do.” Pain wrenched through her. “Do you think this makes it easier to let you go, knowing this?”

“That's not what I'm asking, baby.” The fierceness was gone and he was pulling her into his arms against his sun-warmed chest as dependable as steel, as safe as home, as real as forever.

“Then what are you asking me?”

Her eyes were wide with confusion. Didn't she know? His heart rent wide open, raw and more vulnerable than he'd ever let himself be before. It wasn't easy, this opening of himself, leaving the most vulnerable part of his spirit open and undefended. “I want to know if you might consider moving to Florida?”

Furrows dug into her forehead. “Are you asking me to?”

“I am asking everything, beautiful.” He cleared his throat.
Help me find the words, Lord. Because I'm not good at this. I need Your guidance—

An earsplitting scream rose from down below. They both automatically turned toward the sound.
Where the wide, rolling river hit the rapids, a lone inner tube bobbed and raced past the pack of kids, who'd started shouting incoherently. One boy leaped off his tube and disappeared into the water. Then bobbed back, being swept away by the current.

There was only one thing to do. Ben hit the bank, skidding down the clay-and-rock cliffside, yanking off his tux jacket as he went. Wildflowers, scrub brush and saplings broke beneath his shoes as he kept his eye on the spot where he'd first seen the lone inner tube. He was hardly aware of anything except the crush of crumbling earth behind him. Cadence. She was coming, too.

“You go after the kid in the current,” he ordered her, but there was no need. She was already cutting to his right, downriver, her shoes gone, and they were moving as a team.

There was no more need for words, he knew. They leaped into the river, running into the water, pushing into the deeper water until the current caught them.

Ben scissor kicked hard into the fierce river, ignoring the chaos around him, figuring out where the submerged kid might be. He hadn't come up—anything could have happened. But the current was strong, and it was shallower here where huge boulders beneath the surface made a dangerous ripple in the current.

He dived, eyes open, searching the rocky riverbed for anything unusual. Summer trout as big as his arm
skidded out of his way and he spied a tennis shoe. The teenager was crushed against a granite outcropping, pinned in place by the current's undertow. His eyes were wild with panic.

Ben planted his feet, grabbed the kid firmly around the wrist, twisted and pulled. Piece of cake. The boy spun away from the boulder and into his arms. Before the boy's panic could take control, Ben calmly wrapped him in a cross-chest carry and kicked off from the river's floor.

Silt kicked up to cloud the water around them as they bobbed to the surface.

A hysterical woman was making her way into the dangerous current. The kid's mom.

Ben shouted at her, “He's fine, I've got him. Go back!”

Before the woman could get herself into trouble, too, there was Cadence, taking her by the forearm and talking calmly to her. They waited as he hauled the boy in, and the teenager was already struggling, but no longer from panic.

“Hey, let me go!” He coughed, fighting, indignant.

Ben let the kid take over. He wasn't hurt, just scared. And embarrassed in front of his friends.

“Where is your life jacket, young man?” his mother demanded in a voice filled with relief and outrage at the same time. “And thank these fine people for helping you.”

“Uh…thanks.”

“No problem,” Ben assured them both, watching the mother grab her son by the ear and haul him toward the picnic area.

A glance downstream told him Cadence had been successful at reuniting the boy with his tube, and he was floating away with his friends, distant on the swift current. He and Cadence made quite a team. She was dripping wet, her silk dress soaked and probably ruined by the river water, but she didn't look troubled by it.

His soul filled with light, more blinding than the sun, as endless as eternity.

She swiped a strand of hair out of her face. “What were you saying—something like once a lifeguard, always a lifeguard?”

“Yeah. Or maybe it's just us.”

“We're both out to save the world in our different ways.” She shrugged. “Well, I'm not saving the world.”

“It's how you live your life every day, helping people. Teaching kids to swim so they won't drown some day.”

Her smile was pure radiance. “Then you understand.”

His entire being ached with love for her. He took her by the hand while the river rushed by and the picnickers went back to their picnics and kids splashed
in the shallow water. He led her toward the bank where wildflowers carpeted their path.

It felt right, holding her hand, walking at her side where he wanted to be for the rest of his life. She was his home, his everything. “I was hoping you'd like to teach kids to swim and dive in Florida. If you'd consider giving up everything here to marry me? To be my wife?”

There, he'd said it. The toughest task he'd ever had put in front of him, and he trembled with the importance of it. Everything he'd ever wanted rested on what this incredible, awesome woman would say next. He'd faced ambushes, night fighting, freeing soldiers held prisoner, but he'd never been so afraid and so certain of what he wanted.

“You want me to marry you?” She stared up at him as if afraid to believe. “You want me to marry you,” she repeated as if she couldn't believe what he'd said.

The anxiety tight in his chest disappeared, because he felt her answer in his soul. True love was strong enough to build a future on. He knew this now, for he saw their future happy and loving stretch out before him—a fulfilling marriage, a happy home and kids. A little girl and a little boy.

Nice. And he'd retire in a few years, and they'd come home here, to Montana. But until then, he'd do what he could for his country. And then give everything to his family.

She came into his arms like a dream. She felt the choice before her—to trust him wholly, this man heaven kept bringing into her life, or to turn away everything that God was offering her.

“Yes, I'll marry you.” She laid her hand on his jaw, this wonderful hero of her very own. This man who filled her soul. Who was her life.

Thank You, Lord,
she prayed, aware of this great blessing heaven was giving her. “I've always wanted a September wedding.”