Hell on Heelz (Asphalt Gods' MC) (5 page)

“Yeah, next time I could use some real help,” I smarted off, talking about Dixie’s shit she’d pulled.

“Come on back, we need to talk.” Shirley wanted to talk to me in private, and I thought I was about to get my ass chewed about Dixie. She was Shirley’s favorite, after all, and it wasn’t ‘cause she was any count. Dixie was screwing our president and neither of them were lesbians as far as I knew. It was some sick power trip shit like Shirley was morphing into a man or something.

The Banshee shut the door while I waited with my hands on my hips.

“We’ve got a problem.”

“No shit, but what to do about it, she’s your favorite.”

“I ain’t talking ‘bout Dixie.”

“What is it then? I’m covered in dead man here.” I motioned to all of me.

“Neil’s waiting for you at your cabin.”

That got my attention. “What the fuck does he want?”

“To talk to you, he says. He says he’s looking for Kelly. You’re going to have to do something about him.”

What did she think I should do? “Like what?”

“Chickens that crow end up feathers.”

“Kill him?”

“Yes, kill him,” she said in all seriousness.

“I ain’t about to go murdering someone else.”

“Frog eats a fly, it’s not murder.”

I tapped my foot. “Have you lost your ever lovin’ mind?”

“Neil, he knows too much about us. That bitch Kelly told him everything.”

“What?” I sounded shocked, and I was.

“Neil’s a pig, Edie.”

“No.” I laughed. “He’s not a cop. He’s just a security officer. Big difference.”

“Are you sure? Rent a cop or not, he’s buddies with the sheriffs. He was snooping around here before. You don’t know the half of it.”

“I’d think I’d know my h…” I had to stop myself to correct, “my ex-husband.”

“You knew everything about Neil didn’t you?”

That shut me up for a minute. “Why did you bring me here?” She knew I didn’t mean to her office but to the club in general. Right then, I blamed Shirley for everything that had happened to me, for losing Neil, for losing the kids. She’d brought me here to act on my rage after all.

Shirley parroted something she’d said for the last two years. “When I see you, I see myself.”

“Cut the bullshit! You brought me here because of Neil.” I didn’t care if she was president, I wanted to slap her, to claw her eyes out.

“No, baby.” She came in close and caressed my cheek.

Ugh, I hated it when she called me baby. I scowled. I didn’t play up to her shit like the other girls. I wasn’t her baby. I wasn’t gay either, and I wasn’t about to submit to her bisexual games like Dixie did.

She put her hands on my shoulders causing me to tighten my hands into fists.

She cooed, “I just knew about you ‘cause I was worried about Neil’s all. He’s tight with all the cops. Now he’s onto you. He’s asking questions about Kelly’s whereabouts. Her parents are in town, down all the way from Alaska, and they paid him a visit, told him they haven’t seen her. They paid the law a visit too.”

“Fuck!” In the last two years, no one had come asking about Kelly. Neil assumed she’d just up and left. Shirley told anyone that came asking she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the girl. And her friends who were witnesses that night knew better than to speak of it. Shirley and I thought we’d gotten lucky. I should’ve known better to believe such a thing. “Luck’s a loose woman,” was what my mama always said. “She’ll help you sleep at night but be gone by morning.”

“Fuck’s right! Now either you can make this go away or I can.” The Banshee rubbed my arms, tenderly but her eyes said
crazy bitch
.

I turned sharp and left her office to take care of Neil my way.

I hadn’t seen the love of my life in over a year, not since he testified against me in court where I lost custody of our kids. Neil swore I was a drunk and a member of a motorcycle gang and that was it. The judge looked down her nose at me and told me I was unfit. It didn’t matter to her if he, my cheating husband, drove me to drinking. Enough people had seen me riding with the Heelz that I couldn’t deny my affiliation with the club. Not that I would’ve anyhow because I’d never been one to lie. I’d never been one to cry easy either, but I felt like I would burst, fighting tears in that courtroom. Nevertheless, I came back to the Roost that night crying and cursing myself for not toughing it out on my mama’s sofa.

Then I got drunker than a skunk with my sisters and went to my first orgy.

Sure, I could see my kids when Neil agreed, but Gail and Gavin were still in Maine with their Grandma June. He’d just wanted the kids to spite me. They were being raised by his sister and mother up there, but the court didn’t care about those facts.

I didn’t think Neil would ever come asking about Kelly since I’d heard he’d moved on to Tonya, our old next-door neighbor who managed the Piggly Wiggly over on Springdale Drive. But here he was waiting on my front stoop in his khakis and a light blue button down, looking like a sales man.

Having just cleaned up a murder, I was in an old holey t-shirt and my rattiest pants, covered in filth. I held up my filthy hand when he tried to talk. “You can come in, but you’ll have to wait until I’m cleaned up to talk.”

“You haven’t changed a bit.” He was talking about my OCD, as he liked to call it. I just called it being civilized. I was covered in the blood and guts of a stranger. If I didn’t need a shower now, I didn’t know who did.

With Neil in my living room, talking to Sugar who’d just stumbled in from his night out, I showered and dressed quick. I didn’t care about hurrying for my ex-husband but knew the Breast Cancer Run was this afternoon. Shirley’s Mom, Legs had just had a double mastectomy, and I promised her I’d make it in time even with the last minute job. I dressed in tight, acid wash jeans and a cute and tiny silver Harley tee. Speaking of boobs, I may have shoved my cleavage up a bit more than usual. No harm in reminding Neil what he gave up since I knew Tonya had mosquito bite titties. I completed my look with a black studded belt, my best boots and my skull jewelry, some dangly earrings and a huge silver cuff. I sure as hell looked different than when I was married to Neil—I looked fierce.

I’d never wore much makeup until I became a Heel. I’d been told my whole life wearing a lot of makeup would make me trashy—well it hadn’t. I wore as much makeup as I wanted, dolling myself up like I was on the cover of Cosmo and then some. I also slept with whomever I pleased—if that made me trashy, I no longer gave a damn. My long curly hair was still wet when Neil knocked on my bedroom door.

“Edie, we need to talk.” His voice boomed, sounding familiarly comforting and that upset me. I didn’t want to miss Neil, hence the drinking habit in the first place.

I opened the door, figuring I’d get my meeting with him over with before I did my hair. Walking to my couch, I was glad to see Sugar had hung around. I sat down on the couch real close to my closest friend, he put his arm around me as always.

“Are you and Jason?” Neil asked, looking back and forth between us.

Sugar answered, “Yeah, we are,” obviously figuring Neil thought we were a couple before it’d even clicked in my head.

Besides the gum chomping, you’d never know Sugar was gay just by looking. Sugar Hips, or Jason Reed looked like a pretty tough guy when he wasn’t wearing his cut with the flaming pink high heels on the back or something completely funky like when he dressed in drag. In the last couple of years, we’d become best friends. I’d had my reservations about living with a gay man when I’d first come to the Heelz. Hell, before getting to know him, I’d entertained the thought that people had a choice in their sexuality, being taught my whole life being queer was an abomination. I’d learned Jason was what he was—there was no choice for him. He was a tough guy who liked men and sometimes liked to dress like a woman—nothing wrong with that. Actually, I’d gotten on with him better than I ever had any woman.

I snuggled in closer to Sugar before Neil asked to speak to me, alone.

“Honey, do you mind?” I glanced up at him all dewy eyed.

Laying it on thick, Sugar smiled down at me saying, “No not at all,” before giving me a kiss. Fighting the urge to gag, I broke the kiss as naturally as possible. I was gonna kill him but wanted to keep up the act—just to fuck with Neil. I was grinning like a loon as Sugar walked off.
Neil’s chin was dragging, so it had been worth it.

“You gonna to marry him?” he asked

If I’d been drinking, I would have spat. I cocked my head. “Why do you care?”

“Tonya and I are engaged now.”

My heart dropped to my knees. “So… What does that have to do with me?”

“She wants to adopt Gail and Gavin.”

My heart had left the building and rage replaced it. “Why the hell? They don’t even live with you.”

“We’ve been to Maine to see them. They know Tonya. When they move back, they are going to need a mom.”

“Yeah, they know Tonya, she was their fucking neighbor, a shitty one at that, letting her dog shit in our yard, Neil. I’m their mom.”

“You aren’t fit to be anyone’s mom now.” Neil regarded me with so much disgust I could feel it, grimy on my skin.

No, I wasn’t the perfect girl he’d fallen for. And I was perfect then. I’d had to be better than every white girl just to almost fit in. I wasn’t the wonderful mother anymore either. Problem was, I knew I was in a bad place, but Neil had put me here. He’d emptied me, letting this rage in.

“Look Edie, can’t we bury the hatchet here, for the kids.”

I knew where I’d like to bury a hatchet.

I wasn’t ready to make nice with him. His words reminded me of what he’d said so many times before, asking me to just forget his lies, his infidelity. Like he could do me wrong and sweep it under the rug. I grabbed a beer bottle off the coffee table and slammed it against the side, breaking it. Rising to stand, I pointed the jagged edge at him. “Why did you come? To rub it in my face? Do you think I enjoy not seeing my kids?”

Neil’s face took on a scared expression, like he’d piss himself. “You could go visit them in Maine if you wanted.”

I could’ve if I’d had the extra money which I didn’t after all our debts were settled in the divorce. Plus, I’d failed them. I’d let my heartache over Neil fester and turn into a poisoning rage. Suddenly, I was on him like a spider monkey, pushing the broken glass to his neck. “If you wanted me to come to your wedding, you could’ve just sent me a fucking invitation.”

“The wedding isn’t why I’m here.”

Remembering Kelly, I dropped the broken bottle, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me so crazy. Backing away from him, I composed myself.

He straightened his collar. “I’m here about Kelly.”

Her name from his lips turned my stomach. I crossed my arms wishing I still had the bottle. “Kelly, who’s that. The nineteen-year-old girl you were fucking back when I was mom of the Goddamn year!” I was screaming now and Jason’s head peered around the hall corner. I assured him it was all okay with a wave of my hand, and he disappeared.

Neil winced, then blurted out, “I heard she’s dead. Maybe you killed her.”

Oh, he was so right. And I was right too. Luck had left me cold, that fucking bitch—it infuriated me. “Me? Over you?” I huffed. “Maybe you killed her? After all you were the one fucking around, not me.”

Neil stood up. “Why would I kill her?” Good—I’d gotten him angry.

I waved my hand. “I don’t know? Maybe you found out she lied about being pregnant by you.”

Neil pushed his hands through his sandy blond hair as his ears turned red as fire, a sign I was onto something.

“Maybe she’d lied and wasn’t nineteen, even eighteen,” I accused out of sheer nastiness before my mind realized it could be a real possibility.

Neil didn’t say a word, but I think he stopped breathing. He was turning blue.

Holy hell, was it true? “Neil, a kid?” I whispered.

“I didn’t know.” He raked his hand across his forehead, nervous.

I sat down, nauseated. I’d killed her, by accident, but she was dead by my hand all the same.

He began speaking a mile a minute. He’d just found out himself when her parents came to see him and presented him with her “missing” flyer with her real birthdate on it. Doing the math, he figured she was seventeen two years ago, when he’d been with her. “They were asking too many questions, and they went to the cops.”

Putting my feet up on the coffee table, I crossed my ankles, but I was shaking in my boots. “So, why did you come here? I wasn’t the one fucking her. You, for real, think I’m a murderer?”

“There’s no proof.” He paced.

It took me a minute to understand him. “That you were fucking her?”

“Yeah. You didn’t mention Kelly in court.”

I’d done that for a reason, and I’d lost my kids for it. I shrugged. “So.”

“If you don’t mention it to the cops…”

His buddies. “They didn’t know you were fucking her?” I doubted that.

He shook his head, explaining, “I didn’t want you to find out.”

I rolled my eyes. “And now, you’d like it very much if I don’t tell if they come asking.”

“Yes.” His eyes were begging.

“You know what I’d like very much?”

“Anything.”

Stupid fucker didn’t think to ask who all I’d told about him and Kelly already. I wasn’t about to remind him. “I want to see my kids.”

“They’ll be home next summer. Mom says there’s no reason to take them out of the school year—sounded like something you’d agree with, so I went along.”

I almost teared up hearing he still thought of me while making decisions for our kids. “I want to see them before they move back.”

“I’ll get you a plane ticket for Christmas.”

I gave him a look.

“Edie, I can’t before then. We were just there.”

I was confused for a moment until I remembered his
we
was now him and my old nosy neighbor Tonya. I’d be damned if I’d let her adopt my babies. “And when Gail and Gavin come back, there’ll be no adoption. I’ll have weekends.”

He exhaled heavy, but said, “All right. Tonya’s not going to like that.”

“Like I give a good goddamn. Now get out.”

I made it a point to watch Neil drive off.

“What was that all about?” Sugar asked like he hadn’t been eavesdropping.

Sugar knew all about Neil, Kelly’s murder and anything else there was to know about me. I sat down, melting into the couch, relieved more than ever. “Looks like I have a chance to get my kids back.”

Mr. Mittens, Sugar’s
Japanese bobtail that didn’t look like he had mittens at all,
jumped up on my lap. I let him be for the time being even though I usually shooed him off.

“Look at you, Mizz Rage, more relaxed than ever. I’d think you’d just gotten laid.”

“Child please—I see more dick than you do.”

He sat down beside me and started painting his toes bright blue. “Hooker, you a predator. You climb on those men and do your business, that’s all. You need to live a little. You need a real man.”

“Nope—I don’t need a man, any man, no matter how real he is.”

“Well, I’m ready to have a fun best friend.”

“Am I not fun anymore?”

“Girl, you ain’t never been fun. What is it kids say nowadays? Yolo, baby girl.”

“Sugar, you’re still a kid.”

“You’re not much older than me. You just think your life is over.”

“It has been. My life ended when I killed Kelly and had to stay here. I lost my kids, Sugar. Since then, I’ve only been surviving.”

“See, I came here because you girls felt like home to me. We ride and cry together. These bitches get me. You, I think you came here for the same reason, but you’ve started thinking it’s a cage when it’s not.”

“I can’t ever leave, Sugar. You know it.”

“Hooker, none of us can leave. And it ain’t cause Shirley’s holding shit over us. Besides, being here is freedom. You just need to find some passion, live in the moment again.”

“It’d be nice. Maybe once I’m not so worried, once I see my kids.”

Sugar raised his waxed eyebrows, not convinced.

I reported back to Banshee to tell her the news, Neil wouldn’t be a problem, but she sat with Dixie. Shirley was all gussied up in p
ink leather pants, in honor of the breast cancer ride today. She had on her MILF belt too.
Our President stopped me before I could tell her anything. She didn’t want to talk about Neil in front of her favorite girl. Instead she started, “Dixie and I’ve been talking, and she feels like you don’t know anything about her.” The Banshee was petting Dixie’s hair like she was her evil cat.

This was just to appease Dixie’s sensitivities, but I was getting right tired of being Shirley’s good egg. “She’s a spoiled brat who cain’t never could do nothing. What else is there to know?”