Heller's Punishment (35 page)

“Have you seen
our boss?” I asked, and easily pointed him out, standing a blond
head taller than everyone. “Whatever happens to you is going to be
a slap on the wrist compared with what he’s going to do to us.”

“Absolute
balls-up all round then. I’m not envying you, to be honest. He
looks like a real hardarse,” said the cop sympathetically.

Ozanne and I
answered questions, delaying the cops as long as humanly possible,
not wanting to face Heller who patiently waited, his features
stonily unreadable, his arms folded. Clive stood next to him,
similar posture, similar countenance. Ozanne rose to his feet and
stood uneasily in front of them. I remained sitting.

“Stand up,
Matilda,” Heller ordered, and it wasn’t in any kind of loving
tone.

“Can’t. Got
tasered,” I croaked, looking up at him, hoping only I could hear
that waver in my voice.

“I don’t care.
Get up now!”

I angrily
muttered about him under my breath as Trent helped me slowly and
painfully to my feet, letting me lean on him.

“What did you
just say?” The coldness of Heller’s voice hit me like a blizzard.
He was even angrier than I’d possibly imagined.

“Nothing,” I
lied sullenly. He let it pass for now, but I knew better than to
try that again soon.

“Do you know
what every person in this country will see when they watch the news
tonight?’ He switched the frostbite of his glaring blue eyes
between Ozanne and me, not giving us a chance to answer. “They will
see staff from
my
business, the business which I have spent
years building up, poured all my money and all my energy into,
rolling around on the ground trying to kill each other. They will
see my staff member going on a rampage in an unarmed crowd of
citizens. What effect do you think that will have on my
business?”

Ozanne and I
looked at each other out of the corner of our eyes. He was
terrified, afraid he was going to lose his job. He was only young,
had been professional throughout the assignment and I didn’t think
it was fair that he should share in any reprimand.

“It’s my fault
everything spiralled out of control, Heller,” I said hoarsely,
rubbing my throat. “Ozanne did everything he was supposed to and
followed all orders. He’s done nothing wrong. If you want to blame
someone besides Beyrer, it should be me not Ozanne.”

He scrutinised
both of us intently, before nodding his head at Ozanne.

“You can go
back to the office with Clive. Now. I’ll deal with you later.”

Ozanne shot me
a grateful look, but his relief was premature. He’d be getting a
ton of grief from Clive on the drive back to the Warehouse.

“Matilda, you
have acted irresponsibly in this assignment. You’ve failed to
follow any of the proper procedures in a situation like this. You
should have waited inside the courthouse until the police arrived.
You should have had the vehicle ready to go. You should not have
taken on an angry man by yourself. And you should have told me that
Beyrer was a risk. I can’t believe the police had to taser you to
calm you down.” His accent grew stronger with every word, showing
his immense fury.

I opened my
mouth to protest at the unfairness of everything he said.

“
Don’t you
interrupt me!
” he shouted, startling Trent and me. I blinked
away the tears gathering in my eyes. “You’ve been nothing but
trouble since you started working for me. I have grave doubts about
your judgement. In fact, your whole performance in this situation
was so poor that I’m not sure I want you to even work for me any
more.”

It was the
cruellest thing he could have ever said to me. “Heller, it wasn’t
like that –”

“
Don’t you
talk back to me!
” he yelled in my face. Trent and I both
flinched. Everyone in the vicinity swung around to look at us, the
cops throwing me a sympathetic glance.

I stared at the
ground, my jaw clenched with such tenseness that I gave myself a
headache. I didn’t engage in any eye contact with him, not wanting
him to see how much pain he’d caused me with his harsh words. I
could feel my little
H
tattoo burning on my ankle. I would
have used a razor blade to cut it out of my skin if I’d had the
chance right then.

Trent
immediately jumped to my defence. “You’re being exceptionally
unfair to Tilly, Mr Heller,” he said, incensed.

Heller turned
his cold eyes on Trent. “It’s none of your business, Mr Dawson.
This is between Matilda and me.”

Trent didn’t
give up easily though, used to being pugnacious and persistent.
“You weren’t here, you don’t know what happened. I was, so listen
up, buddy. You have everything arse-about. I heard Tilly warning
that madman about his behaviour. She wanted to wait for the police
in the courthouse, but I forced her to leave. She asked that other
security man to go ahead to bring the vehicle to us. She only
directly engaged with that madman when he had some terrified women
trapped up against the building, otherwise she was concerned with
keeping the bystanders away from him. He was trying to strangle her
when the cops arrived. They just admitted to us that they tasered
her by accident because the two of them were rolling around so
much. And I’m sure that if she didn’t mention anything to you about
that madman it’s because she trusts you to screen the men properly.
How is that
her
responsibility?
You’re
supposed to be
the boss.”

Silent
hostility filled the air. But then a strange expression crossed
Heller’s face.

He rubbed his
face with his hand. “Matilda, what did you say to me the other
night about Beyrer?”

I looked up at
him with resentful misery. “I told you that I didn’t like him, that
he was twitchy. You said you’d check him out with Clive.”

“I forgot,” he
admitted quietly. “I was distracted when you told me.”

Trent regarded
Heller with palpable contempt. “You didn’t even give Tilly a chance
to explain before you stormed over here assuming she was to blame
for everything. You shouldn’t have any doubts about Tilly’s
judgement – it’s excellent. But I certainly have doubts about
yours. I hope you do sack her, because I’ll snap her up a second
afterwards to work for me. And I’ll consider myself lucky to have
her good sense, loyalty and professionalism on my team. I can’t
believe she told me just the other night that she was extremely
committed to you. It’s obviously not reciprocated. You’re an
ungrateful arsehole.”

He took an
intimidating step towards Trent, his fists clenched.

“What are you
going to do? Beat me up? Beat Tilly up?” Trent scorned. “Is that
your response to everything? You’re nothing but the basest kind of
animal. You’re no better than that madman.”

Heller
struggled to control himself, his nostrils flaring with each
breath.

Trent continued
his tirade. “What’s the hell’s wrong with you? Can’t you see that
Tilly’s in a lot of pain? She’s just been pummelled by a gorilla
and been tasered. It’s not the time to be haranguing her. Are you
that
insensitive?”

Heller realised
he’d made a dreadful mistake. “Matilda, we need to talk urgently.
Come back home with me now. I’ll send someone else over to Mr
Dawson if he still wants some security,” he said to me, trying to
take my hand in his.

I snatched my
hand away from him. “No! I’m not going back with you. I need to
think. You said you don’t know if you want me to be with you any
more, but I’m not sure now if I want to be there anyway.” His words
had cut me so deeply I didn’t know if I could ever heal. He didn’t
want me at the Warehouse any more. Working there wasn’t just a job
to me, it was my home and my life. I couldn’t imagine another
existence. It would be like being banished from my family. It was a
heartless and severe thing to say.

“I spoke
without thinking, Matilda. I was so worried and it made me angry.
I’m sorry. Please come back with me. We need to talk about
this.”

I refused. The
thought of spending even a minute with him held no appeal for me.
“No. I need to think.”

“Where will you
go?” he asked, his expression wretched.

“I’ll go to my
parents –” I started to say, but Trent interrupted.

“She’ll come
back to my place. I’ve paid for her for the week, and that will
give her some breathing space to have a good think about the
important things in life – like love, trust and commitment.” And
with that pointed comment, he made sure I was supported as he
carefully led me limping away. Neither of us looked back.

He hailed a cab
and took us back to his apartment. As soon as he shut the door, I
burst into a flood of tears. It was as if a rain cloud had burst,
and the resulting deluge was uncontrollable and powerful. Trent
kindly let me sob on his shoulder, holding me gently until there
was nothing left inside except an aching emptiness.

“It’s been a
hell of a day, hasn’t it?” he said, shaking his head in amazement.
“Go take a bath and I’ll rustle up some dinner. That will help your
stomach feel better, if nothing else.”

I took his good
advice and lay back in the bubbled, scented water, willing my
tight, aching muscles to relax. I could see bruising already
appearing all over my body. The next week was going to be awful,
physically and emotionally. I deliberately blocked all thoughts
from my mind as I soaked in the hot water. As I dried myself my
eyes fell on my
Heller’s
uniform, lying discarded and
crumpled on the damp floor. Would I ever wear it again? An
inexpressible pain swept over me. How could I live without Daniel
and Niq? Or Heller?

I joined Trent
on the balcony where he’d opened a bottle of wine, a welcome glass
waiting for me. I eased myself into the soft chair and took my
first gulp with pleasure, letting the beautiful view calm me. He’d
had some Indian food delivered, eating sporadically. I couldn’t, my
stomach clenched with emotion. I didn’t think I’d ever eat
again.

“Do you want to
talk?” he asked.

“I couldn’t
possibly.”

“I feel like
that too. How about we just get smashed instead?”

I smiled.
“That’s the best idea I’ve heard today.”

And so we did,
sitting on the balcony, then playing the guitar game, then slouched
on his lounge, listening to CDs, eating chips, talking about
everything except the day’s events. He was an interesting and
intelligent man, and we discussed philosophy and politics. He
shared some recollections of heated exchanges he’d had over the
years with politicians and some of their secrets, including who
demanded more makeup than the weather girl before he’d go onscreen,
who wore a toupee, who had implants and who turned up absolutely
plastered for her interview. I was transfixed. I’d never met a more
fascinating person – he was witty, charming and a lot of fun. I
could have listened to him all night, but his glazed eyes and his
refusal of a top-up told me he’d had enough.

“I haven’t been
this drunk for years, Tilly. I can’t take anymore. I’m an old man,
remember? I’m off to bed. Thanks for being there for me today,” he
smiled.

“Thanks for
being there for
me
today,” I said, returning his smile.

I took the
nearly empty third bottle of wine out to the balcony and made
myself comfortable. I didn’t feel like sleeping and sat quietly,
watching the night lights of traffic crossing the harbour bridge. I
realised that I hadn’t checked my phone for ages and when I turned
it back on, I’d missed fifty-seven phone calls. Number fifty-eight
made the phone vibrate as I held it. I picked up but didn’t
speak.

“Matilda?
Matilda, please talk to me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I
was angry. Talk to me, please!”

I pressed the
end call button and turned my phone off. I sat in the dark for a
while longer, thinking about the day, reliving its events. I
resolved nothing in my own mind and the only decision I managed to
make was to go to sleep, if that was even possible. As I lay in bed
staring at the ceiling, I turned my phone back on. It rang again,
almost instantly. I picked up the call.

“Matilda? Will
you
please
speak to me? Please?”

“It was such an
unbelievably cruel thing to say,” I sniffed, not fighting the tears
trickling down my cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,
my sweet.”

I took in a
shuddery breath. “It was cruel to say you don’t want me at the
Warehouse any more. It’s my home. My family. Where will I go? And
what about Daniel and Niq? Did you even think about them? I thought
I would be with you all forever. I thought you wanted me there. I
thought I was part of the family, not just an employee.”

“Oh my sweet,
you’ve misunderstood me. I never said I didn’t want you living with
me,” he soothed.

“You didn’t
mean that you wanted me to leave?”

“No, of course
not! You know I couldn’t live without you. No wonder you are so
upset. I said I wasn’t sure I wanted you to
work
for me any
more.”

“Oh.”

“Does that make
a difference?”

“Yes, a big
difference. But it’s still very upsetting that you don’t think I’m
professional enough to continue working for you. I’ve always tried
to do my best for you and the business. I’ve always been loyal to
you.”

“I know. It was
a stupid thing for me to say, but I was so angry.”

“You’re
always
angry with me, and then you’re always doing and
saying things that you later say you didn’t mean. You never give me
a chance to explain myself. Trent’s right. You always assume the
worst about me. You don’t trust me at all.”

“Come home and
we’ll talk about everything. I can’t do this over the phone. I want
to see your face when I talk to you and I want you to see mine, so
you know that I mean what I say. I’ll come over now and bring you
home.”