Heller's Punishment (16 page)

Daniel
immediately noticed. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. I was harsh. I didn’t
mean to make you cry. Come here.” He opened his arms and I stepped
into them gratefully, resting my head on his shoulder.

“He begged me,
Daniel. It made me feel good about myself. It was a real ego boost.
It
hurt
when he rejected me. Especially when it was for
someone who can have a baby.”

“I know,
sweetie. I know.” He rubbed my back as I sniffled against his
shoulder. “But you’re not planning on seeing him again, are
you?”

“No. I wish I’d
never gone to his house in the first place. Then none of this would
have happened and Heller wouldn’t be so angry with me.”

“Hey, we all
make mistakes. God only knows I’ve made a million of them in my
life and I think I’ve turned out okay.” I managed a watery smile
for him – he sure had. “And he’ll cool down. Eventually.”

“How long do
you think it will it take?” I asked, sitting down shakily on my
lounge.

“Normally maybe
a day or two. But with you, who knows? He’s a little . . . intense
about you, Tilly.”

“Yeah, I’ve
noticed that.” My misery increased. I didn’t want to fight with
Heller. He was the most important man in my life.

Daniel sat down
next to me and put his arm around me. “Don’t fret about it too
much. Heller will get over it. He won’t be able to stay angry with
you for very long. Look, I’ll organise someone to mend your walls
tomorrow, okay?”

“Thank you.
You’re so lovely,” I said, planting a kiss on his cheek.

He stayed with
me a while longer until I assured him that I would be all right for
the rest of the evening. I cleaned up the broken glass and chards
and had a long shower, wondering once more about what kind of
madness had led me to sleep with Will again.
Why did I do
it?
I asked myself, as I gladly washed all traces of him down
the drain.

Freshly
scrubbed and in my pyjamas for an early night, I checked my phone
to find three text messages from Will. I read the first – more
pleading – and deleted it and the other two without reading them.
He’d probably sent them while Penny was making him dinner. That
turned my stomach.

Miserable
again, I did what any woman would do. I pulled down my secret stash
of chocolate biscuits, poured myself a really large glass of wine
and rang my favourite girlfriend, Dixie, who I’d known since high
school. She was cute, petite, brash and libidinous, loving nothing
more than conquering a new man. Though she wasn’t generally too
interested in my life, being rather self-absorbed, she had a great
interest in Heller.

She didn’t even
say hello when she picked up. “You haven’t rung me for ages, Tils.
Too busy screwing Heller?”

“You know I’m
not,” I replied patiently. “I’ve been working. And you could ring
me once in a while, you know. Wouldn’t kill you.”

“Hey, you’re
the moneybags. I’m just a poor, struggling artiste.”

“How’s it all
going?”

“Terrible. My
latest gig is an ad for some crappy Asian-inspired instant sauces.
They expect me to use chopsticks in it. That’s so racist! They’re
only demanding that because I’m half-Malaysian. I don’t know how to
use fucking chopsticks! You know my mum’s idea of high cuisine was
extra anchovies on the take-away pizza.”

“Dix,
everybody
knows how to use chopsticks. Geez, I’ve shown you
a hundred times.”

“It’s too hard.
My fingers must be too cute for them or something,” she dismissed
breezily. She subsequently spent the rest of our conversation
switching between complaining about the acting jobs her third-rate
agent found her and detailing the many lurid stories about her
latest conquests.

I didn’t manage
to get a word in about my problems and went to bed, still
miserable.

Chapter
11

The next
morning I didn’t feel much better. Daniel visited while I was
eating my breakfast and sweet-talked me into also making him some.
I couldn’t refuse, as he was simply adorable in his pyjamas, his
normally fashionable hair a sleepy mess.

“I hope
Heller’s not still angry with me,” I moped, washing up
afterwards.

He sighed and
ran his hands through his hair, making it even worse. “Sometimes I
wish I had a love life for Heller to become angry over.” I knew he
was just trying to take my mind off my own problems.

It worked.

“We really have
to find you someone, Danny darling. You’re such a good-looking guy,
it won’t be too hard.”

His fingers
flicked automatically to his face to run along the jagged scar.

I rolled my
eyes. “Don’t start worrying about
that
again! How many times
do I have to tell you that the right person won’t even see it?”

“So you keep
saying, but I’m not convinced. It’s the first thing everyone
notices.”

He was so
self-conscious of his appearance that he was reluctant to leave the
Warehouse, never giving himself an opportunity to meet potential
lovers. He hadn’t expressed much interest in sex or relationships
since I’d known him, traumatised by his terrible abuse as a child
and again as a young teenager on the street. And I guess that kind
of childhood made it difficult for him to open up and trust people.
But he must have needs and desires just like any other young
man.

“Where should
we start looking for someone for you, Danny? In the men’s or in the
ladies’?”

He smiled
briefly and gently punched my shoulder. “I don’t want to pick up
someone in a bathroom. That’s unhygienic.”

“You know what
I’m asking.” I managed a grin and he smiled back, blushing.

Daniel had
always refused to confirm his sexuality, but had given me enough
hints to make me fairly sure that he wasn’t really very interested
in boobs.

“I don’t know,
Tilly. I guess I just don’t want to be categorised. I’ve never had
sex with a woman before. When I was a street boy, all my clients
were men and I haven’t had sex with anyone for years. So I’d
probably feel more comfortable with a man to start with. At least
I’d know what I was doing.” He paused shyly. “There’s a new guy in
the surveillance team, and he always seems happy to see me.”

I raised my
eyebrows. “Do you mean in a ‘is that a surveillance camera in your
pocket or are you just pleased to see me’ kind of happy?”

“No!” he
blushed furiously. “I mean he smiles at me and always takes the
time to chat to me when I go there to see Sid about business.”

“Is he working
today?”

“I think
so.”

“Excellent!
I’ll meet you in the office in an hour and then we’ll pay a casual
visit to the surveillance section. I’ll give you my verdict on
whether this guy’s interested or not. Yeah?”

“I don’t know .
. .”

“I’m an expert
in picking up men’s signals. What’s the problem?”

“I don’t know.
It seems a little obvious. What if he notices us?”

“That’s what we
want, silly. Let him know
you’re
interested.” I turned him
around and gave him a little push. “Now, go get ready. And for
heaven’s sake, do something with your hair. It’s an absolute
horror.”

That hurried
him along and he left me to shower. I was doubly excited because
not only might this guy be exactly what Daniel needed right now,
but also because I’d never been invited into the surveillance
section before and I was bursting with curiosity. Not to mention
that it was a welcome distraction from my own troubles. I dressed
casually in jeans, a t-shirt and runners, gave my hair a quick blow
dry and tied it back in a ponytail.

I walked down
the stairs to the office with dread.
What if Heller was there?
What would he say?
I needn’t have worried, because Daniel
assured me that he was already out, attending a meeting with a
client.

“Do you have a
cover story?” I asked him as we trotted down to the first floor
where the surveillance section was located. I’d been told in no
uncertain terms that it was off-limits to me.

“Yeah, I have
to pick up some timesheets from Sid. Don’t know how to explain you
though.”

“Oh well, if
anyone asks, I’ll just tell them the truth. That I’m nosy.”

He used his
swipe card and then also needed to punch a code into a keypad to
the left of the door to open it. I hadn’t seen that anywhere else
in the Warehouse, only reinforcing the secretive nature of the work
undertaken within. Excitement stirred in my stomach.

I was
immediately struck by the bustle inside the room. There wasn’t a
hint of it from the outside. Banks of monitors filled the large
main room, and despite the early hour of the day, hordes of men
peered intently at the screens, talked on the phone, tapped on
keyboards. I noticed that the men working in this section weren’t
anywhere near as huge as the security men, but they all still wore
the
Heller’s
uniform. No utility belts though. Guess you
didn’t need them if you sat at a computer all day.

A blinking red
light on a console drew a crowd of men and a spirited debate
between them followed, with much gesticulating and eye rolling.
They stopped when they noticed Daniel and me, and I felt fifty
pairs of male eyes tracking me across the room as Daniel and I
walked over to Sid’s corner office. And if you’ve never had fifty
men staring at your butt at the same time, then let me assure you
that it’s not as flattering an experience as you might imagine. You
worry that those thousands of squats you’ve endured at the gym
aren’t nearly enough.

Sid looked up
as we entered his office, gave us a quick smile of welcome, before
frowning.

“You’re not
supposed to be in here, Tilly. This is a restricted area.
Authorised staff only,” he said in a stern voice. “Daniel, you know
better than to bring Tilly in here. Heller’s going to be
furious.”

The last thing
I needed was to make Heller even angrier with me.

“Sorry, Sid,” I
apologised, shamefaced. “It’s my fault. I forced Daniel to bring me
here. I was curious.” And I looked up at him with my biggest, most
innocent eyes. “I’ll go right now and scrub the memory from my
brain immediately.”

“Well, I
suppose you’re here now. Don’t look at anything though,” he
warned.

Sid was a big
softie at heart and I didn’t think he’d tell Heller. Clive, on the
other hand, was another kettle of fish altogether. He would have
ejected my sorry butt from the room without thinking twice, and not
without some pleasure.

Sid handed over
a sheaf of papers to Daniel and they discussed a system problem
that had delayed the processing of casual staff timesheets for a
while. Daniel promised to talk to the IT and HR staff about it
straight away and we left. As we headed back across the room, my
butt suffered another comprehensive inspection. I wondered if it
passed muster.

“Hello,
Daniel,” said a quiet voice from the side. We both stopped and
turned.

“Oh, hi Anton.
You look busy today,” Daniel said casually, only a faint blush
tinging his cheeks.

Behind a
mountain of paperwork sat a slender and very cute young man, early
twenties, smooth milk-chocolate skin, large dark brown eyes, spiky
black hair. He smiled, revealing perfect brilliant white teeth.
Someone had spent a fortune on his dental work when he was a kid.
Like his colleagues, he was dressed in the
Heller’s
uniform,
but sported a couple of piercings in his left ear and a
Celtic-design silver ring on his left ring finger.

“Yeah, it never
stops, right? So, do you have any plans for the weekend? There’s
that new movie out. The space one. Sounded cool. Thought I might go
see it.”

“Oh, sounds
interesting. Hope you enjoy it,” Daniel replied. “See you
later.”

As soon as we
shut the door behind us, I turned to Daniel and started swatting
him on the arm as we walked up the stairs.

“You enormous
dumbarse! He wanted you to see the movie with him. But what does
Daniel say?
Hope you enjoy it.
Oh my God, how can you be so
dense? The guy was virtually asking you on a date.”

“What? Are you
sure? I didn’t hear him say that.”

“Why would he
tell you what he’s doing on the weekend if he didn’t want you to
join him?”

“I don’t know,”
he groaned. “I can’t do this, Tilly. I haven’t got a clue about
this kind of stuff. I don’t even know if he’s interested.”

“Daniel, my
gaydar was beeping off the scale. He didn’t even look at me once.
Every other man there checked me out, except him. He was only
interested in you.”

“Wow. I really
messed that up, didn’t I? What should I do now?”

I thought for a
minute. “Give him a call in a couple of hours. Very casual. Tell
him you were just reading a review of the movie and it sounds great
and would he mind if you tagged along with him and his friends to
see it? Make sure you mention his friends, so it sounds as if
you’re more interested in the movie than in him.”

“But I hate
space movies.”

“Daniel! You
don’t have to like the stupid movie. It’s not about the movie –
it’s about you looking cool and not desperate.”

“But I
am
desperate.”

I sighed. “Yes,
but you don’t want him to know that. You’re not some easy lay.”

“Yes, I am.
God, I’d love an easy lay. I hope he’s an easy lay too.”

“Yes, but . .
.” I gave up. “You know what, you’re right. Just go see the stupid
movie with him and screw his brains out afterwards. And good
luck.”

“Thanks for
your help!”

“You better
check with Heller first though. He might have a problem with you
seeing someone from work.”
Or maybe that’s just a rule for
me
, I thought sourly.

“Will do.” He
pecked me on the cheek and bounded off happily up the stairs. I
crossed my fingers and toes it would work out for him. I would hate
for his fledgling hopes to be crushed before they were even given a
chance to leave the nest.