Heller's Revenge (35 page)

I’m not a great swimmer by any
means, but I was confident I could keep myself afloat with my life
jacket for hours if necessary. I hoped it wasn’t necessary. To help
my buoyancy, I used one foot to force the runner off the opposite
foot by its heel, before doing the same with the first foot. It
made me a little lighter at least, although sad to think of my
expensive runners falling to the bottom of the ocean. I’d think
about taking off my jeans soon as well, except my leg was hurting
so much and it was cold.

I floated in the ocean, alone,
lonely and very frightened, for what seemed to me like a very long
time. It might have been hours, but I had no reference for that –
it may have only been ten minutes. The boat had finished burning
and the darkness enveloped me, seeped into me until I felt as
though I was breathing darkness. The silence was intense, the
darkness deep and immense. The sensory deprivation robbed me of my
normal defence mechanisms, disorienting me and encouraging my
senses to supply the lack. I started to hallucinate, thinking that
I could see a light in the utter darkness. My eyes darted around in
joyful hope, but I wasn’t able to ever actually fix my eyes on that
elusive light, no matter where I looked or how hard I stared into
the inkiness. It always somehow remained off to the side. I started
crying with fear and hopelessness.

I was going to die out here,
alone.

There was no hint of any human
movement near me. I tried not to think about the possibility that I
was the only survivor of the blast. I thought of Heller, of Daniel
and Niq, of the twins. Then I thought of Mum and Dad and my
brothers and my nieces. And Dixie.
I’d never say goodbye to
Dixie
, I sniffed sadly. Oh, and Will.
Mustn’t forget about
Will
, I reminded myself, tears pouring down my cheeks. I was
sinking into a dangerous well of self-despair when I thought I
heard a faint noise. I stilled immediately, craning an ear,
straining to hear in the darkness. I thought I heard someone
calling. But then, I’d thought I’d seen a light as well. Perhaps
this was real, this time?

“I’m over here! Here! Come and
get me!” I shouted as loudly as I could into the darkness. There
was a pause before I heard another sound, so I shouted loudly
again. Another pause and then the voice was a little closer. I kept
shouting and waiting, shouting and waiting, until I heard the voice
very closely.

“Tilly!”

“Meili!” I cried with
relief.

“Tilly, keep talking. I’m near.
I’ll have to find you by your voice. I can’t see anything.”

“Meili, Meili, Meili, Meili . .
. ” I chanted continuously, desperately, until he bumped into
me.

“Thank God!” I gasped and
started crying again, clinging onto him.

“Hold onto this. It’s a life
buoy from the boat,” he said and I grasped around in the dark until
my hands found the life buoy, hooking my arm over one side into its
centre.

“Thank you so much for finding
me. I thought I was alone. I’m so scared,” I sobbed.

“I’ve been looking for you for
ages. I think we were thrown in different directions. I managed to
find Alex while there was still some light from the fire, but he
seems to be unconscious and badly burned. Do you think you can hold
him up for a while? I need to keep looking for Sali. She can’t swim
very well. And I don’t think she had a life jacket on.”

“Don’t leave me alone again!” I
begged quietly, terrified.

“Tilly, I know you’re brave.
I’ll be back soon. I have to try one more time to find Sali. Here,
hook your other arm under Alex’s armpits. Lie on your back a bit so
he’s leaning up against your whole body and your arm isn’t taking
all the weight. Please don’t let go of him. I’ll be back soon.” And
then he splashed away and left me alone in the dark again. Silent
tears poured down my cheeks.

Another eon in the choking
darkness, the frosty water chilling me to the bone. I shifted to
redistribute Alex’s weight more comfortably. Thankfully the
buoyancy of the water helped me hold him afloat. I was glad I had
the life buoy to cling to; I don’t think I could have held him up
by myself otherwise.

He didn’t feel good. His clothes
were gone and his skin had a raw kind of feel to it that didn’t
bode well. It was a small mercy that he was unconscious because I
think if he hadn’t been, he would have been screaming in pain. Poor
Alex. Poor Sali, wherever she was. And she was pregnant as well,
which only made me cry some more. I really hoped she had slept with
her life jacket on for once.

My leg was incredibly painful.
And it was so cold. And so dark. I was frightened and tired. I was
afraid of falling asleep because I might let go of the life buoy
and drown or let Alex go. I shifted again and swapped Alex over to
my other arm, trying to find a comfortable position with his dead
weight on my arm. I screamed loudly when I felt an inquisitive
nibble on one of my sock-clad toes, kicking out ferociously at
whatever it was that had dared. I was coming precariously close to
a full-blown panic attack.

“Tilly?” I could hear Meili’s
voice in the distance, his splashing more frantic as he heard my
scream.

“Meili, Meili, Meili, Meili . .
.” I chanted again to help him find me in the darkness. He bumped
up hard against us and I almost let go of Alex with the force.

“Sorry,” he panted and clung on
heavily to the life buoy. “I can’t find her anywhere. I think . .
.” and he took in a ragged breath and sniffed. “Are you okay?”

“Something was tasting me,” I
said quietly, tears surging down my face. “Poor Sali. She was going
to have a baby.”

“Tilly . . .” he started, but
was too emotional to continue, taking in deep breaths. “We might be
here all night. They can’t search for us until dawn. We have to
stay awake. Hyperthermia will be an issue, so we need to keep
moving as well.”

“But I’m so tired, Meili.”

“Let me take Alex from you for a
while. We’ll have to share him through the night. Can you do that
for me, Tilly? I really need you to be strong tonight.”

I took a deep breath, enjoying
the lightness of floating without the weight of Alex. “I’ll try. Oh
God! What happened? Was it a bomb?”

“I don’t know. Maybe that other
boat fired at our fuel supply. One minute we were talking about the
other boat, next thing I’m flying through the air into the
water.”

“That’s my memory too.” Sharp
pain stabbed me in the leg. “
Ow!
”

“What’s the matter? Are you
hurt?”

“There’s something wrong with my
leg. It’s getting worse. I’m worried I’m bleeding and it will
attract sharks. What if I’m bleeding so much I lose consciousness?
You can’t look after two unconscious people.” Hysteria was rising
in me again.

“Tilly, stop it! You have to be
strong.” And he fumbled in the dark until he found one of my hands,
grasping it tightly. I clung to it. “We’re here together. We’re
going to make it together. Trust me.” And strangely enough, I
did.

The night passed slowly. We
talked about everything to keep each other awake, taking turns to
choose a topic. After a few hours we’d exhausted all the usual
suspects – favourite movie, music, book, food,
blah, blah,
blah
. We’d then traversed the personal – first kiss, first
lover, first time you dumped someone, first time you were dumped,
have you ever cheated on a partner.

“I’ve never slept with anyone
else besides Inge,” he admitted, managing a weary laugh. “I was
probably the oldest virgin on the planet when I met her.”

I drew back with tired
astonishment. “Now you’re kidding me?” He was a world famous
sex-symbol for thinking women.

“I’m not kidding you, I promise.
I had a weird name and came from a weird family. I was a gangly,
weedy nerd and outcast at school. I did a PhD in
chemistry
,
for God’s sake! I was no chick magnet, believe me. Inge worked with
me at that petrochemical company and was the first woman who paid
me any attention at all. And then I became famous with my
environmental work and suddenly every woman wanted me. I find it
repulsive.” I don’t know where I found the energy to be surprised
at his confession, but somehow I was.

And after exhausting that topic,
we ended up in the philosophical – do you believe in reincarnation,
in God, what is the meaning of life?

It was my turn to take Alex
again and we did an awkward shuffling manoeuvre to transfer him
across. I was fatigued with treading water to keep warm and poor
Alex was feeling heavier each time I held him. I grasped him
tightly, not even sure that he was still alive. I was in so much
pain by then that I found it hard to concentrate or
communicate.

“Who do you have the most
complicated relationship with?” Meili asked me, yawning.

“Heller, no competition,” I
replied, equally weary.

“Do you love him?”

I didn’t answer for a while. “I
don’t know. I have a boyfriend that I might love. Can you love two
men at the same time? Or does that mean that you don’t really love
either of them?”

“Big questions, Tilly,” he said
slowly, as if rationing his energy for each word. “If you could
only ever see one of them again, who would you chose?”

I thought seriously for a
moment, but it wasn’t really a hard decision. “Heller. I couldn’t
imagine never seeing him again. My life would be so . . .
diminished without him.”

“He told me that he cared for
you a lot. After he said that and gave me all those warnings, I
sort of formed the impression that you and he were –”

“Well, we’re not. He’s my
boss.”

“How do you feel about him?”

“Depends what day it is. Depends
what time it is. Depends how objectionable he’s being.”

“But what’s your underlying
foundation feeling for him, regardless of anything he does?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never
thought about it seriously,” I said quickly, wishing he’d change
the subject.

“You don’t like to examine your
feelings towards him?”

“No.”

“Okay, topic dropped.”

“Thank you.”

We were quiet for a while, Alex
a dead weight on my arm, my other hand grasping Meili’s, the life
buoy wedged under my armpit.

“Tilly, look!”

I turned my bleary eyes around
to see something, anything. The faint promise of dawn glowed in the
eastern sky.

“Oh, thank God!” I whispered and
started crying again. He squeezed my hand and we watched the
promise turn into a guarantee that the sun would surely rise again
on a new day. I tried not to think about sharks again. Alex and I
must be sending off a multitude of scents throughout the ocean
depths.

Not long after dawn broke
properly and visibility improved, we heard a helicopter and spotted
a Search and Rescue boat heading towards us. Meili waved his arm
lethargically until we knew that we’d definitely been spotted. The
boat sped towards us.

The next few hours were a blur.
I remember eager hands helping me onboard and attending to my leg.
But there was too much activity and too many people with too many
questions. I slipped away into sleep to escape, overcome with
exhaustion.

When I woke up, I was in
hospital again, clean and dry in a hospital gown, my leg throbbing
with dull pain. Heller was sitting next to me holding my hand
tightly and Niq was hovering close by, his small face pale and
pinched with anxiety.

“Hey guys,” I said weakly,
trying to sit up but failing, flopping back on the pillow. Niq gave
me a crushing hug and Heller leaned over to kiss my forehead.

I managed a wavering smile. “I
caught a really big fish and we ate it for dinner.”

Niq took that out-of-the-blue
comment in his stride, smiling back. “Cool! Tilly the hunter!”

But Heller struggled with some
strong emotion that made it difficult for him to speak, his eyes
fastened on mine. I watched him unhappily, guessing that he was
having all sorts of problems with nearly losing me for a second
time this year. I wasn’t coping with it all that well myself,
blinking away the tears that threatened to spill.

“Matilda, what happened?” he
finally asked, his voice steady and neutral, but his features grim.
Before I could even begin to answer him though, Heller and Niq were
unwillingly ushered from the room with polite firmness and much
flashing of badges and I found myself speaking to two detectives.
Wearily, I told them everything that I remembered, even the
smallest detail, even about the vengeful, dying tuna. And that drew
a couple of suppressed smiles from them.

“Does anyone know what
happened?” I asked them.

“No idea yet. From initial
investigations, the debris doesn’t appear as though it was caused
by an onboard incendiary device. Possibly some kind of missile from
another vessel?”

I stared at them in horror. “Are
you telling me that the other boat deliberately shot at us with a
missile
?”

The kind-eyed sergeant in a
badly-fitting suit patted my hand. “Some kind of missile, love. We
won’t know anything for a while yet. The forensics people will need
some time to sort through this one.”

Heller and Niq returned when
allowed, followed by Meili. His eyes were red-rimmed and he looked
beyond exhausted.

“Meili,” I greeted emotionally.
He sat on the edge of my bed and hugged me fiercely. “News of Alex
and Sali?” I asked when he pulled away.

His face expressed his resigned
despair. He swallowed hard and rubbed his eyes before he spoke, his
voice cracking as he did. “They found Sali’s body at lunchtime
today. And Alex passed away around the same time. He was so badly
burned . . .” Meili stopped to wipe his eyes with the heels of his
palms. “Third degree burns on eighty percent of his body. There was
nothing they could do except make him comfortable and pain free
until the end. He was never going to make it, Tilly. Not without
immediate medical care. We only survived because we were up on deck
and didn’t suffer the full impact of the blast. Alex and Sali
didn’t have a chance below deck.”