Hello Loved Ones (38 page)

“You want me to just pretend you’re my dad?”

Richard shrugged. “What’s it gonna hurt?”

Only everything! Because now she desperately wanted it to be true, just like she wanted Cash to be happy to see her.

He was pushing through the door. “Hey,” he said. No smile. Just those narrow shoulders and narrow hips that crowded out everything else in the room. Had she really been skin to skin with what was under those jeans?

“Hey yourself.”

“Cash here is a nice kid,” Richard said. “A real pleasure to work with.”

Cash ducked his head, embarrassed. There was a long pause, then the bell behind the counter dinged loudly.

“Customer,” Cash said.

Richard saluted
aye, aye, sir!
and left, leaving her face to face with Cash. Just the two of them, alone. She didn’t know how to begin.
Have you thought about me? Do you still like me? Why haven’t you called?

He glanced at her. “Your dad—
Sorry.
Richard.”

“It’s okay,” she said eagerly, thankful he was starting.

“He’s pretty cool, actually. Not uptight at all.”

“I’m glad to hear
you’ve
been having fun.” She felt the sting of tears again and turned away quickly.

“I wouldn’t exactly say fun…” he trailed off. She waited but it seemed he had nothing more to say. He was staring at a spot on the floor.

“So about the other night…” She faltered.
I’ll sleep with you again and I’ll do better!
She’d do it! She would. If only he’d like her. She opened her mouth but he stopped her with an elaborate roll of one shoulder.

“I better get back to work.”

“Yeah sure.” She was certain humiliation showed on her face, but he wasn’t looking anyway. There was a heavy, awkward pause. She couldn’t bear to leave things this way, so strange and forced. Not knowing if he hated her. Or maybe he thought she hated him. Maybe he was afraid too.

“Wanna go to the beach some time?” she blurted.

He made a face. “It’s getting sort of cold now.”

“It’s not bad.” She heard the plea in her voice. Did he hear it too?

“I’ll give you a call,” he said, managing another quick glance at her before disappearing into the garage. She heard him clanking some cans together as she stumbled out. Richard waved at her and she waved back, barely seeing him. She forgot to ask Cash about the shoes. Now what would she tell her Aunt Flookie?
I lost your white pumps.

Oh Sally!
she’d say.
It’s so embarrassing to be related to you! How do you expect me to love you when you can’t do anything right?

Lenny

It was a perfect day for baseball. Sunny, but not too hot. A baseball cap would have done the trick of blocking the glare, but Lenny had traded his ball cap for a bandana. He could regret it all he wanted. There was no going back. He didn’t want to look like a hippy with no resolve. He climbed the bleacher easily and took his regular seat up top. A few people nodded at him and he squinted back, suspicious. Let any one of these fuckers say something to him and he’d be all over it. But as the ump called the first pitch, all eyes were on the game and he relaxed. You had to love sports fans. They didn’t get hung up on stupid family dramas. There was drama enough on the field.

Wild pitch across the plate and,
whoa
, the batter swung! A chorus of groans went up from the other bleacher. A few men on the home side glanced back at Lenny with rueful smiles and he flushed with pleasure. That never happened when Lenny Van Sloeten was on the mound. That kid had the best aim in the county. That’s what they were thinking. He’d heard the praise often enough. Back then. Now he was just another know-it-all in the crowd.

Lenny sighed and stretched out his legs. It was the last game of the summer league, and though none of the teams were much good, he wished it weren’t ending. Who knew where he’d be by the time the spring season started? If he didn’t get out of town soon he might just take a bat to Voss’ head.
Jesus!
He still couldn’t think of that prick as Sally’s father. What was next? What other bomb was about to drop? The fact that Voss had bailed him out of jail made him all the angrier. Voss probably thought he was paying his dues, somehow. Don’t do me any favors, fucker. Man,
oh man!
He’d like to pop him one! Instead he’d have to keep his cool for another three weeks, until his parole was up. What would it be like working for the creep? Living practically under his roof? Lenny couldn’t bear to think of it.

He started tapping his leg as the pitcher wound up. He was feeling the wind up too. He ached for the release of the ball, the complete exhalation of the follow through, the precise placement of the ball over the plate. It was better than sex. At least the sex he’d had, which wasn’t much.

He had to get out. Tune in, turn on, drop out. The hippy thing was the only thing for him. He longed for some peacefulness. Something spiritual that wasn’t all twisted up in religion. And the free love sounded good too. Imagine people loving him, no questions asked. Imagine him loving back. Then there was the drug thing. He didn’t care much about that, but he supposed he’d try it if he had to. He needed a good mind-bending. Mind, body and soul.

Just three more weeks!

Fly ball to center field. Easy out. The Brunswick Pins were down one run. As he watched them take the field he saw a skinny guy with long stringy hair leaning against the fence. Cash.
Great.
Should he go talk to him? What would he do, tap him on the shoulder?
Hey, heard you had my sister out all night.
He’d sound like an idiot. Like some middle-aged square. Better to let his reputation speak for itself. He’d give him a good cold glare if he happened to look over.
Yeah, that’s right. Mess with my sister and I’ll mess you up good.
He corrected himself. Half-sister.

Lenny was so focused on watching Cash that he barely noticed as the bleacher rocked and a man came thumping over and stopped right next to him. Annoyed, he looked up. It was his dad.

“What are you doing here?” Lenny asked, surprised.

Richard motioned with his head for Lenny to move over. There was plenty of room on Lenny’s right side, but Richard wanted to sit on his left. The side of his good ear.
Jesus, he remembers!

“Came to watch a ball game, same as you.”

For a moment Lenny was too stunned to move.
He actually remembers!
Then he caught himself.

“Go find another one. I was here first.”

But Richard pushed him with his leg. “Scoot,” he said. “I’m not leaving.”

So Lenny moved and Richard sat down.

“You got some grand plan to humiliate
me
now?” Lenny asked.

“Nah. I’m finished.” Richard smiled. “I don’t think I’ll ever top my last performance.”

“It’s real funny to you, ain’t it?”

“Not at all. It’s shameful.”

But Lenny didn’t detect any remorse in his dad’s voice. He made a disgusted noise and moved away.

“Where were you, anyway?” Richard asked. “I didn’t see you at the festivities.”

“Why would I be at a Father/Daughter banquet?”

“I thought Voss had you imprisoned in the basement.”

Lenny snorted again. He didn’t want to talk about that night, or even think about it. If he had stayed at the church the way he was supposed to, he might have stopped his dad from grabbing the microphone. Or maybe stopped Sally from taking off with Cash. It was just that, well, when he saw the two of them coming down the sidewalk, his dad decked out in a suit, Sally glowing and grinning from ear to ear, it made him feel soft. Feeling soft scared him. So he went home. He missed his own room. He missed his mom. He figured if everyone was busy with the banquet, no one would notice he wasn’t at the church. His mom would be home alone. Maybe they could sit in the kitchen together and play a hand of gin rummy.

Except the house had been empty. He fell asleep on the couch with the TV on and woke to his mom and Nell shaking him and throwing the whole story in his face like cold water. So he didn’t need his dad asking
where were you?
He already knew he’d screwed up. Again.

“What about you?” Lenny shot back. “We were out half the night looking for Sally, without any help from you.”

“She didn’t want me finding her.” He cracked his knuckles. “No, I went back to my lady friend. We shared a bottle of Jack and passed out on the couch.” He gave Lenny a wry smile. “Good times,” he said, and Lenny heard the sorrow. He ignored it.

“Why are you still here?” he asked.

Richard pretended to study what was happening on the field. “Well,” he finally said, “I was thinking about staying around.”

“What for?” Lenny couldn’t ignore the sudden thud of his heart.

“Maybe try to iron things out.”

“How exactly would you do that?”

“Guess I’d start by staying around.”

As if it were so easy! Lenny’s old churned-up feeling was back, a stomach stew of anger and confusion. He hated it. Mostly he hated the part of him that perked up at those words. Exasperated, he threw his hands in the air.

“If you want to get all fatherly, you might want to check out that kid over there. That’s who Sally was with Saturday night.”

Richard squinted. “Sure, I know Cash. He plays for Hamilton.” Then, like an afterthought, “We work together now.”

“
What?
”

“I’m helping out at the Texaco.” Richard raised his hand and waved. Lenny saw Cash hesitate, then wave back, self-conscious.

“What are you doing?” Lenny hissed, yanking Richard’s arm down. “He’s the reason I’m on parole!”

“Yeah, I know all about that too.”

“Anything you don’t know?” Lenny said, trying to hide his embarrassment with sarcasm. Who was living his life anyway? Him or his dad? Lenny didn’t need Richard horning his way in on everything, or acting all buddy-buddy with Cash DeVries.

“I suppose I’m wondering what your plans are, now that you’re off the hook with Voss.”

“I’m still working off my sentence.”

It was his dad’s turn to snort. “What kind of a fool are you? Voss is gone. There’s nobody to hold you to that deal.”

Lenny had the uncomfortable sense that he’d been seeing only the shadow of things —dim, dancing patterns on a wall. Then someone flipped the lights. “Gone? Where?”

“Who cares? He cleared out this morning.”

Lenny frowned as he worked out the possibility. He’d slept until noon in the glorified closet that had been his room since June. Neither Voss nor Mrs. Dekker the church secretary had woken him. There had been no list of odd jobs left on the supply closet. Could he really be off the hook? He glanced at his dad but when he saw the way Richard was studying him, awaiting his reaction, he looked quickly away.

“Did you really think he’d wait to see if they fired him?” Richard said.

Lenny hesitated. “It’s not just him. The court says—”

“Fuck that! You’re done. Believe me. You served your time.”

Lenny would love to believe that. “How do you know Voss took off?”

“I was at the Texaco. I saw him myself, bright and early, loading up his car. I yelled over hello, real friendly-like, and he flipped me off.” Richard chuckled. “Slouching towards Bethlehem,” he said.

Lenny gave him a blank look.

“Yeats,” Richard said.

Lenny shrugged, his thoughts already elsewhere. If Voss was gone, would the police know that Lenny hadn’t worked off his bail? Probably not. Which meant no more mopping floors or polishing pews while the stained glass Jesus stared down at him with that resigned look that said
when will you stop disappointing me?
No more sharpening all those tiny little pencils that went inside the guest registration pads. No more of Voss asking him in that mealy-mouthed way
would you mind
doing this, or that, when any idiot could see that of course he minded. He hated every minute of it. But now! It was like a weight lifting. He was free to go!

But where? Back home? That’s when it hit him.

“What about Sally?”

Richard frowned. “Yeah, she’s a nice kid. She doesn’t deserve this.”

Lenny blinked. “What? To have her dad walk out on her? Take it from me, it’s no big deal.” He saw his dad’s jaw clench.

“So you say.”

“That’s right,” Lenny snapped. “What would you know about it, anyway?”

“It’s just a tough break for her, is all. Getting that kind of news.”

Sally!
Was everything about Sally now?

“She’ll be fine,” he mumbled.