Read Hemingway & Bailey's Bartending Guide to Great American Writers Online
Authors: Mark Bailey,Edward Hemingway
Hemingway & Bailey's Bartending Guide to Great American Writers (4 page)
Under the table, no. That last was stunning,
that flagon had breasts. Some men grow down cursed.
Why drink so, two days running?
two months, O seasons, years, two decades running?
I answer (smiles) my question on the cuff:
Man, I been thirsty.
“Drinking is a form of suicide where you’re allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day.”
One of the few writers who is perhaps as famous for his drinking as his writing, Bukowski was a puking, pissing, fighting, screwing, fall-down drunk. It’s been said he could drink thirty beers in one sitting and that he could write thirty poems a week too. There were years when he’d arrive at bars just as they were opening—five-thirty, six in the morning—and leave at closing time. The consummate barfly, Bukowski would sit on his barstool, watching. Sometimes brawling, sometimes spieling, but always writing and always drinking.
..........
1920–1994. Poet, novelist, and short-story writer. With over fifty books that centered around drinking, gambling, and women, Bukowski established a strong cult following. His screenplay for the film
Barfly
was based in part on his life.
BOILERMAKER
When it comes to a no-frills beer and whiskey man, you can’t get more bare-knuckles than Bukowski. The Boilermaker is quick, reliable, and easy on the bartender. Your stomach does the mixing.
2 oz. bourbon, rye, or blended whiskey
8 oz. lager
Pour the whiskey into a shot glass. Pour the lager into a beer mug. Shoot back the whiskey straight and then drink the beer as chaser.
For those who like a little “frill,” you can drop the entire shot glass into the beer mug and drink together.
Hollywood,
1989
T
HAT BAR CAME BACK TO ME
. I remembered how you could smell the urinal from wherever you sat. You needed a drink right off to counteract that. And before you went back to that urinal you needed 4 or 5. And the people of that bar, their bodies and faces and voices came back to me. I was there again. I saw the draft beer again in that thin glass flared at the top, the white foam looking at you, bubbling just a bit. The beer was green and after the first gulp, about a fourth of the glass, you inhaled, held your breath, and you were started. The morning bartender was a good man.
“In this profession it’s a long walk between drinks.”
Capote’s life was very much his own strange cocktail of celebrities, artists, and socialites. While writing the script for
Beat the Devil,
on location in Italy with director John Huston and Humphrey Bogart, he was known for his excessiveness. Capote stayed at the Hotel Palumbo in Ravello, with no electricity, no heat, and everybody “half-drunk all day and dead-drunk all night.” Bogart nicknamed him “Caposy,” and wrote to his wife, Lauren Bacall, “At first you can’t believe him, he’s so odd, and then you want to carry him around with you always.” In the lobby, Capote amazingly beat Bogart in an arm-wrestling match, and then in a full-out wrestle, tripped him, fracturing Bogart’s elbow and delaying the shoot.
..........
1924–1984. Novelist, short-story writer, playwright, and screenwriter. Capote’s first novel,
Other Voices, Other Rooms,
controversial because of its depiction of homosexuality, brought him wide recognition.
The Grass Harp
and his novella
Breakfast at Tiffany’s,
increased his fame. With
In Cold Blood,
perhaps the first “nonfiction novel,” Capote became an international star.
SCREWDRIVER
Capote called the Screwdriver, “My orange drink.” As for the cocktail’s real name, legend has it that an American oilman working in the Middle East found himself without a swizzle stick and used his screwdriver instead. Like the Orange Blossom, fresh squeezed orange juice is highly recommended.
2 oz. vodka
5 oz. fresh orange juice
Orange slice
Pour vodka and orange juice into a highball glass filled with ice cubes. Stir gently. Garnish with orange slice.
S
YLVIA DID NOT EVEN LOOK FOR A TAXI
; she wanted to walk on in the rain with the man who had been a clown. “When I was a little girl I only liked clown dolls,” she told him. “My room at home was like a circus.”
“I’ve been other things besides a clown. I have sold insurance also.”
“Oh?” said Sylvia, disappointed. “And what do you do now?”
Oreilly chuckled and threw his ball especially high; after the catch his head still remained tilted upward.
“I watch the sky,” he said. “There I am with my suitcase traveling through the blue. It’s where you travel when you’ve got no place else to go. But what do I do on this planet? I have stolen, begged, and sold my dreams—all for purposes of whiskey. A man cannot travel in the blue without a bottle.”
“You never start out in life with the intention of becoming a bankrupt or an alcoholic.”
While teaching at the University of Iowa, Carver and John Cheever began drinking together. Soon, concerned students and teachers started having them over for dinner in an effort to make sure they ate. At the semester’s end, Carver and Cheever decided to throw a big party in repayment for all the hospitality. Invitations went out, a banquet hall was rented. Before the event, however, both writers were called out of town. They agreed to meet back in Iowa City the day of the party. Unfortunately, though not surprisingly, both got drunk and missed their planes. That night the guests arrived to find an empty room—no food, no drink, no Carver, no Cheever.
..........
1938–1988. Short-story writer and poet. Known for his minimalist style and his raw depictions of blue-collar life, Carver first gained acclaim with the short-story collection
Will You Please Be Quiet, Please?
He is considered a major force in revitalizing the short-story form.
BLOODY MARY
Believed to have been invented at Harry’s New York Bar in Paris in the 1920s, the Bloody Mary came over to the States after Prohibition via bartender Fernand “Pete” Petoit. Pete made the drink with gin and served it under the name Red Snapper. The perfect eye-opener, it is favored by those, like Carver, who knew from a hangover.
2 oz. vodka
½ oz. lemon juice
¼ oz. Worcestershire sauce
3 dashes Tabasco sauce
¼ tsp. grated horseradish
1 pinch cracked pepper
1 pinch salt
1 pinch celery salt
Top with tomato juice
Celery stalk
Lime wedge
Pour all ingredients (except garnish and tomato juice) into a highball glass. Fill with ice cubes. Top with tomato juice, and stir. Garnish with celery stalk and lime wedge. Feel free to adjust ingredients to taste, but remember—the horseradish is essential.
D
RINKING’S FUNNY
. When I look back on it, all of our important decisions have been figured out when we were drinking. Even when we talked about having to cut back on our drinking, we’d be sitting at the kitchen table or out at the picnic table with a six-pack or whiskey. When we made up our minds to move down here and take this job as managers, we sat up a couple of nights drinking while we weighed the pros and cons.
I pour the last of the Teacher’s into our glasses and add cubes and a spill of water.
