Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2) (13 page)

I bit my lip. “I still don’t feel comfortable with this. You’re going to lie to the police just to protect me.”

She looked abashed. “Wouldn’t you do the same for me?”

“Of course I would.”

“Then shut up!”

All of us giggled, making the tension in the room dissipate. “How are you feeling anyway?” I asked.

“Glad to be alive, Cassie. I feel pain, but I accept that. Pain means I’m alive, and I’m really not ready to leave this world quite yet.”

Without thinking, I took her hand. Lisa-Marie tried to flinch it away, but I held strong. A vision came to me in an instant, just like it always did.

She was at a party. The weather was glorious so it must be next summer. She was in the garden with Catherine, and she looked over at me. I was standing there with a drink, and smiling back at her. I truly look happy.

“Happy Birthday, Lisa-Marie,” I said in salute.

“Thank you, Cassie. Caroline and I have some news. We wanted to share it with you before we announced it to everyone else.”

I look eager to hear. “Oh, yes? What’s that?”

I could feel Lisa-Marie’s absolute euphoria riding through her. “Catherine and I are going to have a baby!”

I released my grip, gasping for air, but then a huge grin appeared on my face.

“What did you see?” Lisa-Marie asked eagerly.

“I think I’ll keep this one to myself. But I can guarantee it’s good.” I winked.

I could feel Lisa-Marie’s happiness flowing through her. She had always wanted a family of her own, but because of her feelings towards women, it would never be possible to conceive in the normal way. I assumed the shooting really did give her a new outlook on life.

I stayed for another hour, talking and giggling at silly jokes. I was so engrossed in the whole conversation, I didn’t realize how long had passed.

“Shall I get you back so you can get some rest?” Caroline asked, concerned.

“You don’t have to. I can make my way back home. Besides, I could use the fresh air.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

We said our goodbyes and I started walking towards home. I stopped to get some food, then was about to walk up the stairs to my flat when I felt something. I wasn’t sure what made me turn around, but I could definitely feel something.

Spinning on my heels, I saw someone familiar. I had never met this person before, but it didn’t stop the little butterflies in my stomach.

As she neared, she gave me a gentle smile, which immediately relaxed me. Angel—must be. And there was only one angel I could think she would be.

Without thinking, I shortened the space between us. She could tell I sensed something because her posture became more confident as she walked.

Before she could speak, I reached out to grab her hand. The feeling of nothing confirmed my suspicions. “Hello, Luana.”

Her look of utter shock was overwhelming. It almost caused me to giggle. “You remember me?” She knew me—or who I used to be.

As I was getting ready to answer, something else hit me. The sound of children laughing. Luana sensed my bewilderment and squeezed my hand. “Are you okay?”

I nodded. “It’s nothing. It’s just my shoulder,” I lied. “I wish I could remember you, Luana. I realise who I am, but I can’t remember anything.”

Remember,
the voice whispered.

Oh shit. Please don’t do this to me now
.

“Are you sure you’re all right, Cassie? You look pale.”

Nodding, I realised I was still holding her hand. “I’m sorry. I bet you think I’m strange just walking up to you like that and taking your hand.”

I released my grip and Luana giggled. “That’s nothing compared to some things I see on a daily basis.”

I chuckled a little, thinking how true that must be. It would seem it’s true for all of us.

Motioning to the door, I looked at Luana. “Would you like to come inside? I’m told I make the best hot chocolate.”

Cassie…,
his sweet voice echoed, and it took every ounce of strength not to sink to the ground. Instead, I just stood there. Instinctively, my hand grabbed hold of Luana’s arm as I gasped.

“Cassie, what’s the matter? Tell me. There’s obviously something wrong.”

The tingles fell over me like a calming wave. It instantly relaxed me. I closed my eyes and breathed out. I was immediately calm again.

“Come inside,” I tell Luana. “It’s best not to talk about it out here.”

Luana followed me up the stairs and I let us both inside. I immediately got to work pouring some milk into two mugs and retrieving the hot chocolate from the cupboard.

As I made it, I watched Luana as she sat on my sofa, surveying the room. I wasn’t sure why, but I was immediately drawn to her. It was almost as though I was meeting an old friend again. I just felt happy with her. Then again, all angels made you feel that way.

Grabbing her mug with my good hand, I placed it on the table in front of her. Luana smiled and nodded as I went to retrieve mine.

Sitting on the chair, I watched as she took a sip and closed her eyes. “You’re right. It
is
the best hot chocolate.”

I felt the tingles all over my body and it immediately made me laugh.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, placing the mug back on the table.

“I don’t know. I just feel…overwhelmed.” And I was being truthful. I
was
feeling overwhelmed. Stephen made me feel that way.

“I can see it in you, Cassie. You look happy on the outside, but your eyes betray you. You’re suffering.”

As if I hadn’t cried enough, the tears immediately began to fall.

“You miss him,” she whispered.

Nodding, I hung my head. I did miss him. I wanted to be brave, but it was hard.

Sucking in a breath, I wiped away my tears. “He’s not here anymore, so what difference does it make?”

“Do you feel him with you? Do you call out his name and feel him there?”

How did she know? From the look on my face, she could tell I was shocked. “How did you—?”

“He must know of your choice by now, right?” I nodded. “Well then, I can’t understand why he’s not here. It’s not like Stephen to beat around the bush.”

Blinking rapidly, I had to gather my frantic thoughts. Did she just say what I thought she said?

“Stephen can come back?”

Luana laughed and sighed. “Dear girl, wild horses wouldn’t stop him from coming back here if he knew you loved him.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around what she was saying. “But…he’s back home. He’s where he wanted to be. I thought that was what he wanted all along. He told me how much he missed it there.”

“
You’re
his home, Cassie. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”

I felt the tingles flow over me. It was almost as if Stephen was confirming what Luana was saying.

She looked off into the distance as if she were trying to figure something out.

“How do you know all this?” I asked.

“Let’s just say I do. What I can’t understand is why he isn’t here. He must have gone to the Council to seek per—” Then she suddenly stopped. It was like she knew something wasn’t quite right.

“What is it? What is it you know that I don’t, Luana?”

Looking at me, she smiled widely. “Some things never change.” And then I saw the regret. She just let something out she wasn’t supposed to. I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want to get her into trouble. Seeing I wasn’t going to ask her the one burning question I had, Luana breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Now, can you tell me what’s happening with you?”

I told her about my dreams and the sensations I felt whenever I thought Stephen was with me. “And then there’s what happened last night, then just outside.”

Sipping her hot chocolate, Luana shook her head. “What?”

“A voice keeps telling me to remember.”

In thought, Luana looked off. You could see she was trying to piece together everything. Suddenly, realisation seemed to hit her. “Oh, dear.” Those two words were like a battering ram to my heart.

“What’s going on, Luana? Please tell me.”

Her eyes met mine, sympathy oozing out of them. “It’s an impossibility to remember who you are unless an angel tells you. I assume you know the consequences of that?”

“No, but I assume it’s bad.”

Luana nodded. “Very bad.”

And then it hit me. I replayed her words about Stephen having to go to the Council. “I have to remember in order for him to return.”

She sighed. “It certainly looks that way, kiddo.”

“And you say it’s an impossibility for me to remember on my own?”

With sadness in her eyes, Luana nodded. It was like all the air had escaped my lungs. The calming tingles verified what was said, and I knew Stephen was trying to calm my frantically beating heart.

“Then I’m left with no other choice,” I found myself saying.

Luana looked up, puzzled. “What?”

“I have to be the exception to the rule. I’ll have to remember.”

She shook her head, but smiled. “If anyone can do it, you can.”

I didn’t know what she meant and I knew I couldn’t ask. I just knew I had a very tough time ahead, but Stephen was worth every single second.

“So how did you know who I was?”

Her change in subject was a welcome one. I didn’t want to stew on this too much right now. I just had to find a way—pure and simple.

Smiling, I said, “Michael mentioned you yesterday.”

Watching Luana’s eyes widen had the wheels in my head spinning. She liked him, and I mean
really
liked him.

“Did he?” Her voice sounded a little high-pitched all of a sudden.

“Yes,” I chuckled. “To be honest, he was a bit cagey about it. It was almost as if he was trying to shrug me off when I asked questions.”

Luana smiled. “It’s probably because he didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

And there it was. The proof there was more to Michael and Luana than both of them just being angels.

“You like him, don’t you?” I saw the dreamy look in her eyes. “What’s holding him ba—?” Then I knew. It was me. It was always me holding him back. How stupid and selfish of me. If I had known, maybe things would have turned out differently.

“Oh, my god. How stupid am I?”

Leaning forward in her seat, Luana reached over and grabbed my knee. “You weren’t to know.”

I grabbed her hand. “I feel so close to you for some reason. Do all angels make people feel that way?”

Luana chuckled and squeezed my knee. “I suppose we’re just naturally gifted,” she smiled.

I knew what she said was true, but there was more to it than she was letting on. “I know you.”

Luana’s eyes widened again. I saw her gulp as she pulled her hand away.

“It’s okay, Luana. I’m not going to make you say it. I just know it’s true.” You could see Luana’s relief as she smiled back at me.

“So, getting back to Michael, why weren’t you two together before he was sent on his mission?”

Luana’s smile was wider as I saw a glint of humour in her eyes. “That’s easy. You know Michael likes the damsel in distress type? No offense to you.” I nodded. “I’m no damsel. Never have been.”

I caught on to what she said. “Ah, I see.”

Suddenly, my heart swelled at the idea that maybe I could push Michael into Luana’s arms. I could tell she was smitten. I didn’t know what feelings Michael had for her, but I was willing to try and lead him there. It was the least I could do for him. I had to let him know he had the right to be happy. It just wasn’t going to be with me.

My mind raced with possibilities. I jumped out of my chair. “Luana, finish off your drink. You’re coming with me.”

Frantically, Luana gulped the rest of her hot chocolate down and stood up. “Where are we going?”

“Do you have a car?”

“I have a motorbike. Why?”

I smiled, thinking how much Luana and Michael were alike.
Silly boy!
“I don’t suppose you have an extra helmet?” Luana shook her head.
Shit!

“I can go and get one if you hang on for a few minutes.”

Smiling, I reached out and grabbed her arm. “Please do. I can guarantee you it will be worth it.”

With a nod, she was at the door. Suddenly, I called her back. “Luana?”

She hesitated at the door. “What?”

“What does your name mean?”

She chuckled a little. “It means ‘God’s Favourite Warrior’.”

Nodding, I smiled, thinking it suited her. “I like it.”

Shaking her head, she giggled a little. “I thought you would.” With a turn of her heels, she was out the door.

The minute she was gone, I started getting nervous. A part of me was wondering whether I could go through this, but another part knew I had no other choice. I had to do this for Michael no matter how uncomfortable it made me.