Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2) (17 page)

“Voices? What voices?”

Shaking my head, I tried to think. There was always something there teasing me, guiding me to the point of no return—to the direction of my life as an angel.

“It’s my voice, but it’s not. I thought I was going mad, Billy, but I think it’s my subconscious trying to tell me something.”

“What is the voice telling you?”

“To remember.”

“Well, that’s a lot of help,” he snorted.

I couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped me. Despite the severity of the situation, I could always rely on Billy to be my rock.

“I’m having dreams of being outside a door and hearing children laughing. I keep trying to open the door, but I can never get in.”

“Can I ask what you do to try and unlock the door?”

“I kick and punch with all my might, but it never budges. Somehow, I know if I open it, I will see what I need to and be able to remember.”

Silence filled the room as Billy and I contemplated this dilemma. How can I remember something I was supposed to forget? I obviously wanted it this way, but why? Maybe I was forced, like Stephen. Maybe I didn’t have a choice. But Stephen was allowed to keep his memories. He was just stuck down here to roam the earth on his own, clinging to the fact that maybe he would be able to find others like him one day. Surely Michael must have been his beacon on his search for others. That was why he was here. That was why he entered my life.

No, it wasn’t
, the voice echoed in my head.

If it wasn’t, then what? My head grew silent, filling me with nothingness. It was almost as if the voice had given up on me. I suppose I would, too, if I was trying to get someone to remember something important.

“I shall have to think on this,” Billy piped up, making me jump a little. “Rest assured, you’re not on your own anymore, Cassie. You have us to help you now. I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Smiling, I knew I had to have hope. I had to cling onto the thought that, one day, I would know everything.

“I don’t mean to digress from your heartache, Cassie, but I feel I need to tell you something, if only to see you smile for one moment.”

Taking a deep breath, I gripped his arm. “Tell me. I want to know.”

Billy took a deep breath. “Chris and I are getting married.” His smile widened, making me gasp.

“You’re getting married?” I shrieked.

“We thought it was about time. I’ve only been waiting over twenty years for this.”

“Oh, my god! Billy, that’s amazing. I’m really happy for you.”

Hugging me, he pulled away briefly, looking at my face. “See, I thought I could see it. Even if it is just for a moment.”

I was elated. The two most important people in my life were tying the knot. How could I not be happy?

“I’m absolutely filled with joy at the news, Uncle Billy. Have you set a date?”

Seeing the cheeky grin on his face, I knew he had. “Christmas day.”

“Christmas day? That’s only a few weeks from now!”

“I know. But that was the day we met twenty-five years ago.”

How could I forget? I was told the story so often that, even though I was only a baby, I felt like I was there. Billy was on his way to visiting us for Christmas. He was only a street away from our house when he passed an old phone box. It was ringing and, like most people, he answered. Little did he know his future was on the other line. Chris had obviously called the wrong number, but they started talking. He told Billy he had been trying to ring his friend to find out where a particular pub was. My uncle immediately recognized it because he frequented the place himself. Billy dutifully gave him directions and Chris was so thankful, he requested he join him and his friends later if he didn’t have plans. Billy said he did, but it was only for dinner. Once he had something to eat and visited a while, Billy left to join Chris at the pub. They hadn’t looked back since.

“You know, I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t walked past the phone box at that particular point in time. It’s amazing how a simple ring of the phone can change your life completely.”

Billy’s posture was relaxed as the memories swam in his mind. I could see the images popping into his head as he smiled. Then his smile faded. “Like that phone call I got the day your parents died. I’ve felt guilty ever since.”

Frowning, I tugged at his arm. “Why?”

He took a deep breath. “Because, Cassie, in the midst of being told my only sister had died, the only thing I felt was relief.”

The words struck me a bit. He dearly loved my mother. Those words just didn’t seem to fit. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s hard to explain, Cassie. My sister was dead, my bother-in-law was dead, and all I could think was thank God you weren’t in the car with them.”

Then I understood. I knew he would grieve over his sister. There was no doubt in my mind that he suffered for his loss.

“Selfishly, I had someone with whom I could grieve. Even if it was a six-year-old tough cookie,” he smiled. “It was unbearable losing my sister, but it would have been the death of me to lose you, Cassie.” He grew silent again, letting it all sink in. “You know, I never told you this, but when you were born and I came to visit you for the first time, it was…overwhelming for me.”

“In what way?”

“It’s silly. I mean, I knew I never wanted children of my own. I chose to live my life the way I have and I embraced the fact children wouldn’t be a part of it. It was only when I laid my eyes on you that I thought I saw what every mother sees when they first see their child…complete and utter devotion.

“From that moment on, I knew I would cherish and protect you with everything I had. I was going to be the best goddamned uncle who ever lived.”

Laughing, I placed my hand on his knee. “And now you’re going to be the best goddamned husband on the planet.”

“Do you really think so?”

I nodded. “I know so.”

“I know so, too,” a timid voice said from the hall.

Looking up, we both heard the door close as Chris entered the living room. “I gather you’ve told her?”

“Yes, I have,” Billy beamed.

“Come here, Cassie. Give your other uncle a hug and a kiss.”

I eagerly leapt into the air and ran into Chris’ arms. “I’m so happy for you,” I breathed, kissing him on the cheek.

“Oh, well, you know… I thought it was about time I made your uncle an honest man of himself,” he teased. “Aside from the fact I would never hear the end of it, of course.”

“Eh!” Billy protested. “I know we’re getting married soon, but that still doesn’t mean I’m not averse to kicking your butt.”

Chris rolled his eyes. I couldn’t help but laugh and smile. Despite their teasing, they were in love and about to make that love official. Everyone will know just how serious they are about one another. I never doubted it, and I imagine anyone who has ever seen them together would never doubt it, either. It was almost as if they were meant to be.

“Stop it, you two. You know as well as I do that you both want this. Quit teasing and give each other a hug.” I stood there, but they didn’t move. “Come on. I want to see the love.”

They both smiled and moved into an embrace. I couldn’t take it and decided to join in. Despite what I’ve been through lately, I was very happy for them. They were getting married and the thought filled me with joy.

“Have you asked her yet?” Chris asked Billy.

Billy smiled. “No, I wanted to wait until you got home.”

Standing back, I stared at them. “Asked me what?”

“To be our best man—well, best woman,” Chris beamed.

Gasping, I hugged both of them again. “Nothing would make me more proud. Of course I would. I would be honoured.”

Chris clapped his hands. “Great! Well, this is cause for a celebration. Wait here whilst I get the champagne. Actually, Cassie, are you allowed to drink?”

I nodded. “I think I’ll be okay. I haven’t needed to take any pain meds yet today.”

Chris smiled. “Okay then. I’ll get three glasses.”

He disappeared, leaving Billy and I alone again. “How is your shoulder, Cassie? It’s hard to acknowledge it, considering it just reminds me of what I could have lost.”

Pulling him to me, I gripped the back of his shirt. “I’m not going anywhere, Billy.”

Gripping me tighter, he sighed. “I know. Just make sure it stays that way.”

Nodding, I pulled away just as Chris came back in with a bottle of chilled champagne and three glasses. He set the glasses on the table and popped the cork. We all cheered as he poured the contents into the glasses.

We each grabbed a glass. Chris smiled. “To new beginnings.”

It was a strange toast, but one I felt was apt right now. New beginnings were something to embrace and enjoy. You never knew whether your new beginnings would be joyful or not, but they would bring you life’s lessons.

“To new beginnings,” both Billy and I said.

We stood in silence for a while as I let the bubbles slide down my throat. Closing my eyes, I let the coldness take over. Once I opened them, I had Chris staring back at me.

“Now, tell me, flower. What’s been happening with you lately?”

Looking over at Billy, we stared at each other for a moment, then laughed. “Where do I begin?” I replied.

Chapter 14

Stephen

The more I saw of Cassie, the more I hurt. Even though she tried to hide it from her family and friends, she was suffering. I could tell. I know her better than anyone.

Seeing her with Simeon enraged me. It made my blood boil to the point I thought I might scream. I wanted to yank him away, tell him to take his filthy hands off her. He wasn’t worthy of her. He was like a leech, sucking the life out of everyone in his path. Sucking the life out of my Cassie.

If I ever got hold of him, I was going to wring his goddamned neck. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout at Michael for leaving her there under his care. If he knew, he would never have left.

Waiting, the anticipation was coursing through my veins. I was so angry at him for abandoning her.

“Alexander, look who has returned,” my father announced.

Looking up, I saw his smug grin. “Stephen, how are you?”

Without thinking, I lurched to my feet and wrapped my hands around his neck. Michael was a strong man, but he was no match for me when it came to my anger. I seemed to take on the strength of a hundred men when I felt like this. I should have been worried that I would somehow hurt him, but I was too angry to care.

“How could you have left her, Michael? How could you?”

My father tried to pry me off him, but it was no use. I was gripping so hard, I thought he would pass out.

“Alexander, stop it!”

I wasn’t listening. I had fire in my eyes and I wanted Michael to feel its force. All I saw in return were questions.
Why?
his eyes were asking.
Why are you doing this?
That made the anger come even more. Why didn’t he already know?

Just as I thought I would snap, my father’s words stopped me. “What would Cassie say if she knew you were doing this?”

Releasing the grip on his neck, I knew he was right. Cassie would be so disappointed in me if she knew I was treating Michael this way. The problem was that they didn’t know. No one knew but me.

“And it’s good to see you, too, brother,” Michael rasped, rubbing his throat.

Scowling at him, I very nearly broke. My father’s hand flew up in the air, halting any further altercations. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, Alexander. You were always at each other’s throats, even when you were little. But now you’re grown men with a history. You need to put what is in the past behind you and move on.”

Getting frustrated, I shoved my hands through my hair. “You don’t understand, Father. Michael’s left her all on her own.”

Michael looked shocked. “What are you talking about? I would never leave Cassie on her own. It was time we said goodbye. Simeon is there to hold the fort.”

Growling, I walked up to Michael. “You don’t fucking get it, do you?”

“Alexander!” my father shouted. “You will never speak such language again. You’re not on earth any longer, young man. Just remember where you’re speaking.”

Shit, I was so fucking riled up, I wasn’t thinking straight. I knew I was doing the wrong thing. I knew I was saying the wrong thing, but Cassie was my number one priority. Whatever was said and done, having her safe was the only thing that mattered to me.

“I’m sorry, Father, but Michael doesn’t understand.”

Michael huffed. “I think I understand perfectly. I think Stephen is worried that his replica is going to steal his potential mate. He’s worried that she’ll fall for his charms because he looks and acts so much like him.”

I was so sick of this shit. So sick of being compared to that lowlife of a brother. But, most of all, I felt sick that she was left behind with him.

What Michael said was true, although it sickened me to admit it. I
was
concerned she would fall for his charms. I was concerned he would sweep her off her feet. But, mostly, I was concerned he would play this for all it was worth.

“You know nothing. You all know nothing! You’ve left her there, Michael. Pure and simple. You’ve left her on her own, unprotected. You may as well have put her in a cage and let the lions in.”

Michael shook his head. “I can understand your jealousy, Stephen, but I don’t think it’s warranted. We all know she wants you. Anyone can see that.”

Sighing, I buried my head in my hands. “It’s not that, Michael. Believe me when I say it isn’t. It makes me getting back to earth more paramount than ever now. I have to be with her. She’s not safe. She needs me.”

The frustration ebbed through my entire body. If only there was some way I could be there, even if just for a short time. I wanted her away from harm—away from Simeon.

Feeling Michael’s hand on my shoulder, I tensed. “I’m sorry, Stephen. I truly am. If I had known you felt this strongly, I would have stayed longer. I just thought I was doing the right thing. I would have only delayed the inevitable and ended up causing Cassie more pain. You can see where the logic in this is, can’t you?”

I nodded. Michael wasn’t to know. In fact, if I had been there, I would have suggested he go back as soon as he could myself. Although Cassie’s desire for Michael had faded, she still called out for him. She still sought him—she still loved him. And I could accept that now because I knew the love is pure. She didn’t lust for him anymore. She didn’t feel the burning whenever he was around. What she felt for him was companionable, spiritual, and affectionate, not sexual, physical, and carnal. What she felt for me bound us together. We were each other’s anchors—strong, secure, always there when needed.

Feeling I had come to the end of the road, I had to move on. There were things which had to remain unsaid, for everyone’s sake. I had more important issues at hand now. I had to take care of Cassie. If I couldn’t be there for her in body, I had to be there in spirit. She needed me now more than ever.