Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2) (23 page)

As with everything in life, there were new endings and even newer beginnings. I just wondered where mine would lead me.

Chapter 20

It was now Christmas Eve. In the past few weeks, I heard of Daniel’s passing, Tom Merryfield’s arrest for the murders of sixteen innocent children, and Mama Caroline was out of the hospital and doing well. She would be on medication for a while, but she was just glad to be alive. I had visited her a couple times since to sample her amazing culinary skills. We even had dinner with Molly and little Caroline. I could tell it was a little awkward for Molly at first, but she soon settled in. Caroline, on the other hand, didn’t seem to want to leave my sight. Everywhere I went, she went. It was becoming a running joke in the house that she was my little shadow. I didn’t mind, of course. I was falling in love with this little bundle of intelligence. If only her mother knew just how intuitive she really was.

The other shocking bit of news was that, in the end, Justin Merryfield was released without charge. Crown Prosecution Service decided not to charge him, considering Molly was living with him voluntarily and had willingly conceived a child with him. Molly and Caroline were ecstatic, but Simon wasn’t. At the end of the day, they were safe, happy, and had been for the years she spent with him. Molly only threatened to marry him so she wasn’t forced to give evidence against him in court. I didn’t think this would result in one big family union, though. I just couldn’t imagine Molly’s family accepting Justin into their lives, and I couldn’t blame them for that. At the end of the day, I just hoped that whatever choice Molly made would make both her and Caroline happy.

As for me, I still kept having the dream. I still kept banging on that door like my life depended on it. Just last night, I heard a voice from behind it giggling and saying, “You’re so silly, Alexander.” I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew I was getting closer. I knew I was within arm’s reach of grabbing it. It filled me with a new sense of hope and determination to seek the answers I was so desperate to find.

Tonight wasn’t about me, though. I was as ready as I could ever be with my white fitted dress on. I thought it was quite apt what with the wedding tomorrow. I had the radio quietly playing in the background.

I was determined not to wallow tonight. I was determined to keep my head held high and enjoy the evening. Tonight was about two very important men in my life—men who were getting married tomorrow.

Looking in the mirror, I glanced at the scar that would forever be etched on my skin. It was a reminder of the events that took place only a couple months ago. My shoulder was healing nicely, but my heart was forever void of the one person who could not be here to share this special occasion with me. As I stared into the mirror, it made me think about how much my life would be missing. I knew that, without Stephen, I was going to remain a spinster.

I laughed a little, thinking how true it would be that I could really wear white at my wedding. That was something else I was destined to be without Stephen—a virgin.

Still staring in the mirror, my thoughts drifted to the sound of the radio. The hairs picked up on the back of my neck as I felt the warm embrace. “Stephen?” I whispered. The tingles came again just as the sound of Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran filled the air.

Closing my eyes, I hugged myself as I felt his loving arms around me. “This isn’t fair, Stephen. I wish you were here.”

I felt a tingle on my cheek. It made me smile as I cupped my face, wanting so much to capture that kiss and hold onto it.

I listened to the words as Taylor Swift sang, “All I know since yesterday is everything has changed.”

“We didn’t meet yesterday, Stephen.” I smiled as I closed my eyes, savouring the moment.

You’re all my yesterdays.

I felt a tear trickle down my face. “And you’re all my tomorrows,” I whispered back. “Oh, Stephen. When is it going to end? Why is it that I can’t be with you? Why are we being kept apart?”

The sound of silence filled the air as I willed my brain to remember something, anything.

The sound of knocking jolted me out of my daydream. Stephen’s warm presence disappeared, leaving me alone again.

Gathering my composure, I wiped a tear away and opened the door. Simeon was standing there in a very smart blue shirt and navy trousers. His hair was a mass of waves, making his eyes stand out even more.

He drank me in as I stared at the most gorgeous face I had ever seen. Without even thinking, I pulled him to me and wrapped my arms around him. I inhaled deeply and sighed, letting his aroma surround me.

“I don’t know what’s brought this on, but I’m not complaining. Do I look that good? If so, I’ll wear this all the time.”

I wasn’t in the joking mood. Instead, I gripped him tighter. For some reason, he was like my lifeline and I was afraid if I let go, I’d fall. “Just hold me,” I whispered. “Please.”

He wrapped his arms tightly around me. “Are you okay, Cassie? You’re worrying me.”

Nodding, I let go. “Yes, I’m fine. I think all this wedding stuff is overwhelming me a little.” I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

“You worry too much. I bet you’ve been sitting there wondering if you’re going to somehow spoil the day.”

“How well you know me already,” I joked. “I guess I can’t help it. I want the day to be perfect for them.”

Tightening his arm around my shoulder, Simeon pulled me to him. “And you will. I have every faith in you.”

“Thank you, Simeon. That means a lot.”

Letting his arm fall, he said, “Are you ready to go?”

Nodding, I went and grabbed my shawl and bag, then we walked out of the door.

“Did I say you look amazing tonight?” Simeon asked.

“To be honest, I don’t think I gave you a chance to say anything, but thank you. You look rather dashing yourself.” I smiled at him.

Simeon smiled back and cleared his throat. “So, the plan for the evening is to be with Chris first, then your uncle?”

“Yes. My uncle is staying in the flat, and Chris will be staying with his brother. I insisted they be as traditional as possible. Otherwise, I think they would have just had a quiet drink and retreated back to the flat together.”

“And you couldn’t have that.”

I shook my head. “Not at all.”

“You’re a real romantic at heart, aren’t you, Cassie?”

Thinking about it, I nodded. “I think a little.” Wrapping the shawl around my arms, I gripped it tight.

“You’re going to get really cold with only that on tonight,” Simeon said, concerned.

“I’ll be okay. The bars are only a ten minute walk. Besides, I have you to keep me warm, don’t I?”

“Oh, yes. My warming duties are available at your disposal, Miss Johnson.”

“Why, thank you, kind sir,” I laughed, bowing.

Simeon wrapped his arm around me as we walked to the bar. I knew he wasn’t Stephen, but he was the only person I had left to whom I could relate. Simeon understood as well as I did how much we needed each other. We were the only ones left—at least that’s what I thought.

“Here we are,” Simeon said as we pushed the door to the bar open.

The crowd was rather large, considering it was Christmas Eve. Chris was laughing and joking with a couple of his friends and his brother, Terry.

“Cassie!” Chris bellowed as he turned to face me. It would seem he was already well on his way to being merry.

“Chris,” I said, coming in for a hug.

Looking around, Chris pointed towards me. “This is the closest person I have to a daughter.” Chris’ eyes welled up as he looked at me.

“I’ve only just got here and you’re crying already? Now stop that and enjoy your evening. You’re getting married tomorrow.” I tried to joke, but it was hard considering the lump in my throat.

“Let us get some more drinks then. This is supposed to be a celebration.” Terry slapped some money on the bar. “What are you two having?”

“I’ll have a brandy and coke, please.”

Smiling, I looked up at Simeon. He looked down to me briefly before meeting Terry’s gaze. “I think I’ll have the same.”

Terry got the attention of the barman. “Can I get two double brandy with coke, a Vodka tonic, and a lager and lime, please?”

Oh boy! This was going to be a long evening. Terry’s already starting me on the doubles and we’d only just begun.

Smiling, I remembered Stephen buying me a double brandy the day after we had just met. The day he introduced that song to me. The day I’d never forget.

“Are you okay, flower?” Chris’ voice halted my thoughts.

“I’m fine, Chris. I’m looking forward to tomorrow.”

He smiled, placing his hand on my shoulder. “So am I. It is time, don’t you think?”

Nodding, I kissed him on the cheek. “Yes. The day was meant to come. Now that it’s here, you both need to embrace it.”

Simeon’s arm was around me as he tugged me to him. “Any day where two people celebrate a coming together is special.” Holding out his hand to Chris, they shook. “May your days be filled with joy, your nights filled with love.”

My eyes widened as I took in Chris’ shocked stare. “That was beautiful.” Chris was enraptured by him. You could tell his touch was affecting him just as much as an angel’s would with anyone. They just seemed to be able to hold people’s attention.

“It’s like a blessing, shall we say.” Simeon smiled.

“Thank you,” Chris whispered, tears in his eyes.

“Oh, my god. Is he off again?” Terry asked, handing us our drinks.

Grabbing my glass, I smiled. “Leave him alone, Terry. It’s not every day you get married, is it?”

Shaking his head, he held up his drink. “Now, I know my brother and I haven’t always seen eye-to-eye.” Chris laughed and shook his head. “Especially when we were younger and he kept nicking my Walkman.”

Chris bellowed a hearty laugh, obviously remembering their childhood.

“But what I will say about him is he is loyal to a fault. He might be my brother, but he is also my friend. So I wish to raise a toast. To my brother and my best friend. May you continue the happiness you found in Billy. May you laugh, cry, and live out the rest of your lives as one. To Chris and Billy!” Terry bellowed.

“To Chris and Billy!” we all shouted, clinking glasses together. We all took a gulp of our drinks as the music seemed to get louder.

We were soon onto another drink as we chatted, laughed, and danced until our feet got tired. The night was just beginning and I was determined to savour every moment of it. It wasn’t every day someone got the opportunity to see two people they loved dearly get married. Chris was right. Despite the fact I did have a biological father who I would never forget, Chris was like a father to me. He was always there for me when I needed him. Always there to bathe my sores when I was hurt, make me laugh when I was sad. I was eternally grateful that I was given two people who loved and cherished me. I wouldn’t be where I was today without them.

By the end of the second double brandy and coke, it was time to leave to go be with Billy. I was a little merry, just bordering on tipsy. I think having the coke drown out the brandy helped.

Hugging a very drunk Chris, I said my goodbyes. “I don’t think you should drink anymore, Chris. You don’t want to be sick tomorrow.”

Smiling, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Look how times have changed, dear Cassie. It was always me giving parental advice, and now it’s you.”

Laughing, I grabbed his arm. “Isn’t that how it turns out at times?”

“I suppose so,” he hiccupped.

Terry wrapped his arm around Chris. “Don’t worry, Cassie. His big brother will look after him. I’ll take him home soon.”

“Make sure you do,” I nodded.

We all said our goodbyes as Simeon and I headed outside. The air was fierce with cold as I gripped onto Simeon with all my might.

“I told you you’d get cold.”

Gritting my teeth together, I was determined not to back down. “I’m fine.”

Simeon looked at me and laughed. “Okay, whatever you say. Luckily, the other bar is only around this corner.”

Breathing in the cold air, I took in the sights around us. All the decorative lights were twinkling in full force. In the distance, singing could be heard as the Christmas carolers were out spreading their joy.

Looking around to locate the sound, my eyes locked onto a group of women and children. They were all dressed up in Victorian-era clothes, nestling baskets in their arms. They were simply magical to watch.

“Can we watch for a moment?” I asked Simeon.

“Of course.”

We stood there as they bellowed
God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman
. Simeon had his arms around me, radiating his warmth. For a moment, I felt content and relaxed. However, I knew that once the evening ended, I would go back to my studio alone and face another night without Stephen.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted as the song
Silent Night
filed the air. I breathed in and closed my eyes. For a moment, I lost myself, imagining I was in Stephen’s arms. It was so easy to get lost in the moment. So easy to imagine that it was real.

The song ended, but they soon picked up with
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
. As if my senses couldn’t cope with much more, I was assaulted by the sounds of children laughing.