Her Mistletoe Cowboy (16 page)

He took his time to answer. “Because I know how intense emotions can skew feelings and make you believe things that aren’t real. I was so angry and so scared I’d lose Mom after her first heart attack I convinced myself I was smitten with Payton. It took some poor choices to show me the reality was I needed security and she provided such a thing.”

“I understand what you’re saying but that’s not what is happening with me. What I feel … when I’m with you … won’t change and isn’t a reflection of my emotional state. Just like my decision to stay is both real and rational.”

His knuckles shone white on the steering wheel. “You’re staying? But I thought you weren’t looking at your list until the New Year?”

“I’m not. I don’t have to look at it to know what I want to do.”

A cold ball of unease hammered within his chest. “Ivy, please don’t make any rash decisions. You’ve worked so hard for your career. What about James’ offer?”

“What about it? It’s one of three offers I’ve received.”

“Three?”

“Yes. And one is to establish a consultancy firm wherever I want and to work from home if I choose to do so. Bozeman has an airport. I can live fulltime at Rose Crown and still fly to whatever city I need to. I then also will be on hand to oversee all the restoration work to the ranch house.”

“Ivy …” Words failed him at the sacrifice she’d be making. In a month, or six months, whenever her emotional fog lifted, she might realize that she didn’t want to be in Marietta … or with him.

“I thought you’d be pleased.” A note of hurt whispered in her voice.

He dared not look at her. Her staying was everything he’d hoped for. And suddenly his worst nightmare. Things were moving too fast. There was no chance to slow things down and protect them both.

“I am. It’s just that … I already … care too much.” His words rasped as his fears broke free. “I can’t be your rebound guy.”

“My rebound guy?” Ivy tried and failed, to keep the shock from her voice. It had never crossed her mind Rhett might think she was using him to get over James.

Rhett nodded, his jaw bunched so tight she knew she hadn’t imagined his words.

This time her hand curled round his thigh and stayed there. Beneath the denim she could feel the tension in his rigid body.

“Rhett, what I feel for you has
nothing
to do with my relationship with James being over.”

“Hasn’t it?”

She shook her head. “
No
.”

“I wish I could believe you.” He sighed. “But I can’t. I’ve seen how easy it is to fall into a rebound relationship … and the wreckage it leaves behind. When my rodeo friend’s long-term relationship ended, I cautioned Rod go slow and not jump straight back on the dating scene wagon. But he didn’t listen.”

Ivy nodded as Rhett paused.

“Rod’s next cowgirl was fun, loyal and sweet and he swore this time it was the real thing. Three months later he bailed, leaving me to pick up the pieces.” He raked a hand through his hair. “In the end, Rod admitted to only using Cindy as a substitute for the love he’d lost.”

Ivy squeezed Rhett’s leg. “I’m sorry for both Cindy and Rod, but Rhett, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m also not rushing into anything.”

A small smile played across his lips. “Ivy, we haven’t exactly known each other for a lifetime.”

“So? My grandfather proposed to my grandmother after three weeks and they lived a long and contented life together.”

Rhett’s hand covered hers on his leg. He turned her hand over and linked his fingers with hers.

“You need time. And … I need time. I need to be sure what you feel is … real.”

She pressed her lips shut. There was so much more she could say to prove what every beat of her heart told her. She loved him. But the residual effects of her morning’s meltdown lingered. Inside she could feel her emotions swell and wobble. The last thing Rhett needed was more tears and heavy emotion.

“Okay.” She lifted their clasped fingers and kissed the back of his hand. “Even though time won’t make any difference to how I feel, let’s take some time and concentrate on getting ready for the bonfire.”

‡

“R
hett thinks he
is your rebound guy? That’s dreadful.” Trinity reached over the table in the Java Cafe and squeezed Ivy’s fingers. “You were right to call an emergency lunch time meeting.”

“I know.” Ivy’s dull voice reflected her misery. “He’s worried what I feel for him isn’t real. So I wanted to pick your brains because I might be the ‘Queen of Lists’, but you are the ‘Queen of Plans.’ I need to find a way to prove my feelings are genuine.”

Trinity took a sip of hot chocolate, a faraway look in her green eyes. Ivy knew from Trinity’s wild summer camp schemes, her friend’s busy brain was in overdrive.

“Mistletoe.” She set her mug on the saucer.

“Mistletoe?”

“Yes and kissing balls. Lots of mistletoe and lots of kissing balls.”

“Where?”

“The barn. You said Rhett has put a tree in there for the bonfire?”

Ivy nodded.

“When you decorate, because I know you will, make sure there’s plenty of excuses to get up close and personal.”

“Which will help how?” Skepticism underpinned Ivy’s question. “Don’t forget he wants to slow things down plus has given me his word nothing will happen between us again.”

“Trust me.” Trinity winked at her. “Rhett’s a hot-blooded cowboy. The mistletoe plan will work.”

Trinity’s wink pushed aside Ivy’s doubts and made her smile. “Have you been holding out on me about more than who sends you those Valentine red roses every year? Why did your eyes glaze over when you said ‘hot-blooded cowboy’?”

“What you saw wasn’t eye-glazing, merely wishful thinking. Just like Rhett being right for you there has to be someone out there right for me too?”

This time Ivy leant forward in her upholstered seat to reach across the table to squeeze her oldest friend’s hand. “There will be and he will be a lucky cowboy. And when the time comes, I’ll make sure there’s plenty of mistletoe hanging around.”

“Thanks. I will probably be a hundred. So if you tie the mistletoe down low, I’ll be right.”

She laughed and released Trinity’s hand. “I can guarantee you won’t be even close to a hundred. Now we’d better get moving. I don’t want you to be late for your small client.”

Trinity came to her feet and checked her watch before tugging her stylish cropped black jacket into place. “I won’t be. We’ve still plenty of time left for retail therapy.”

Ivy tucked her arm in Trinity’s as they left the Java Cafe and stepped out onto Main Street. On her last stroll along the sidewalk it had been Rhett’s arm she’d been holding. She could only hope the Christmas Stroll wasn’t the final visit she had to Marietta with Rhett.

“Where to?” Trinity asked.

“Let’s go … right. There’s some red cowgirl boots I’d like your opinion on.”

Trinity stopped. “As in red boots from Marietta Western Wear?”

Ivy stopped too. The winter breeze carried the sweet smell of flowers from the florist store across the road. “Why?”

“Because I don’t think you will find the pair you’re after. According to Carol Bingley, Peta will be receiving red boots from Rhett this Christmas. He was seen two days ago buying a pair from Marietta Western Wear.”

“But I was with him the night of the stroll and he bought Peta leather riding gloves.”

Trinity grinned. “Exactly. So as we know something Carol doesn’t, finally, it is obvious he bought them for you.”

“Maybe. They could also be for Payton. But how do you know all of this if you got back yesterday?”

Trinity touched her nose. “I have my sources. I also know Rhett needs to be reminded the private make-out spots are at River Bend Park and Bobcat Hill, not the Community Park.”

Ivy laughed. “Is there anything you don’t know? Maybe I should change your name to Carol?”

Trinity joined in with Ivy’s laughter but then her gaze sobered. “I have also heard Rhett is back at Big Z’s Hardware buying barn supplies and working himself ragged.”

Ivy’s own laughter ebbed. Rhett was hurting as much as she was. Trinity’s plan had to work. In the meantime, Ivy had to think of the right words to prove what she felt for him was real. Instinct told her the bonfire would be her last chance before he moved too far out of emotional reach to convince her blue-eyed cowboy he was no rebound guy.

*

From his elevated
seat in the tractor cabin Rhett caught sight of Ivy’s small red city-car as she returned from Marietta. His sudden need to prepare the bonfire in the open field beside the barn had everything to do with being in the best spot to see when she returned. She’d paid a brief visit to the barn to see if Rusty could stay with Milly in her kitchen while she met Trinity. Now Rhett couldn’t concentrate until he knew she was home safe.

The tractor engine idled and snowflakes collided with the windshield but still he stared at the main Rose Crown Ranch house. The trip home from the Christmas Tree Farm couldn’t have gone more wrong than if he’d walked under the barn ladder before he’d left. He rolled his shoulders. The tension that had quietly slipped away since Ivy had arrived in Montana, dug itself into his muscles. He rubbed at his knee that had also begun to again ache.

It didn’t matter how much Ivy had said he wasn’t her rebound guy, he couldn’t banish the uncertainty she’d come to care for him to numb the pain of James’ betrayal. At least now with Ivy staying they had much needed time. Time to ease his fears and time for Ivy to be sure this is where she wanted to be. Time would either validate what she felt was real or, his gut roiled, prove they didn’t belong together.

A snow flurry swathed the tractor and field in white. He looked away from Ivy’s house toward the pile of branches he’d collected and placed around the dead tree. He needed to get the bonfire built and a tarpaulin over the top to keep the snow out. He drove the tractor close to the timber and used the bucket at the front of the green and yellow machine to push the wood into a neat stack. Red flashed in his side mirror. He turned to see Ivy walking into the field. She lifted a hand and waved. He returned her wave. Kissing and touching might be off limits but he could still talk to her. If he kept his hands to himself then his self-control would hold.

He killed the engine, opened the tractor cab door and descended the metal steps. As he stopped before her, he dug his fists deep into his sheepskin coat pockets to stop himself tugging her close. The longing to feel the softness of her curves against him and to tangle his fingers in her silken hair hit him like a physical blow.

“Hey,” he said, tone hoarse.

“Hey.”

“How was Trinity?”

“Good, thanks. She’s already at work and will head home next week for Christmas. She’s looking forward to the bonfire tomorrow night.”

He nodded, forcing himself to stand upright. For a dangerous second, their bodies had swayed toward each other.

“Kendall wanted me to ask you if it wasn’t too late to bake a gingerbread brownie. Apparently Henry isn’t the only person who likes such a recipe, Dad does too.”

“Not at all. I’ll make a batch when I’m baking the sugar-cookies tomorrow.” She paused. “I bought some more decorations in town if it’s okay to keep decorating the barn.”

“Knock yourself out.” He looked skyward. It was either that or stare too long into the depths of her hazel eyes. “I think we’ll be glad to have the barn to keep warm in. Cordell said he’d bring some fire pits so all the kids can toast marshmallows and make s’mores inside, out of the weather.”

“Great. It won’t only be the kids toasting marshmallows. I love s’mores.”

Her happy smile hammered his resolve to keep his distance. His hands fisted in his coat pockets. “Me too.”

She glanced toward the pile of hay stacked a short distance away.

“By the looks of how many bales you’ve brought from the barn, you’re expecting a few people.”

“A few might be an understatement. It turns out Kendall bumped into Carol Bingley at Superstitch’n’s and said everyone was welcome.”

Ivy laughed. “I’d better bake plenty of cookies. The snow’s falling again. I’ll let you finish building the bonfire.”