Here And Now (American Valor 2) (24 page)

“You reenlisted.”

Lucky studied his father’s face. He was neither happy nor upset. No indication of any anger or hurt. Just the same neutral expression he often wore. “I did. How did you know?”

“To be perfectly honest, I’m surprised you lasted this long.” Duke shrugged. “As much as I love having you home and seeing you every week, you don’t belong here. You were destined for far greater things than this small town. Even if you’d gone on to medical school and become a doctor, you still wouldn’t have fit here. But I have to wonder what Rachel thinks?”

And he knew this would be the hardest part of this visit. How was he going to explain to his father that not only was he leaving town and the woman he loved, but one who also happened to be pregnant with his child?

“There’s something else.”

His father didn’t say anything, just waited for him to speak.

“Rachel’s pregnant.”

Still no significant reaction. “And?”

“I don’t know. I’ve messed everything up, Dad.” Lucky rose to his feet and began pacing around the living room. “I immediately bought a ring and proposed to her. Not solely because of the baby, but because I love her. And I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her.”

“And she doesn’t want that?”

“It’s just like you’d warned me all those weeks ago. That she might never leave this town.” Lucky growled and pulled at his hair in frustration. He swore out loud and immediately held up a hand in apology. “Sorry,” he said as he resumed his pacing. “It’s just that I don’t want to be an absentee parent. I don’t want to be like Mom. I want to know my kid. I want to teach them to tie their shoes and ride a bicycle. I want to be more than the occasional email or annual birthday phone call.”

“Then that’s what you’ll do.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t report to Benning. I can get out of it. I can tell them there’s extenuating circumstances and that I didn’t know she was pregnant at the time I reenlisted. It’s not like the army could do anything to me. And if I go back to school here, at least I’d be close to Rachel and the baby. I could help out at least. Maybe I could get my job back at the hospital. Or find an ambulance service I can work at.”

His father leaned forward in his recliner and pointed directly at him. “No,” he said emphatically. “Whatever you do, do not do that.”

Lucky stopped in his tracks. “Why would you say that?”

“Because I know you. You won’t be any happier here for the long term than your mother was. And your child will know it. They’ll feel it. It’s exactly why I told your mother to go. I know you missed her. I did, too. But if she had stayed, she would have done far more damage in the long run. I wanted you to miss your mother, not resent her.”

Lucky made one last trip across the living room before he fell back onto the sofa. He rested his elbows on his knees and scrubbed his face with his hands. “You do realize if I can’t convince her to go with me, you’ll end up seeing my kid more than I will.”

“Have a little faith. That girl loves you. Anyone who sees the two of you together knows it. She’s got a lot on her plate at the moment. Let her get it all sorted out. And I bet money she’ll come around.”

Dear God, how he hoped his father was right.

Chapter Twenty-Four

A
S
IT TURNED
out, two and a half weeks was not enough time to convince Rachel to marry him. And from where he stood, halfway across the country in the barracks in Fort Benning, Georgia, the possibility of her never marrying him looked pretty damn likely. He had no choice but to leave the decision in her hands along with the ring he bought her. He could only hope and pray that the three months she’d have to think about it while he was in RASP would be enough.

Not much about RASP had really changed since he went through it a decade earlier—except for the name. The same Ranger hopefuls who talked the biggest game before things got started were usually the first ones to quit. And while many of the recruits were the same age as Brittany and her crowd of giggling friends, these guys didn’t spend their time talking about
The Real Housewives
or One Direction. Many of them did, however, spend a great deal of time talking about how much they kicked ass at
HALO
or
Call of Duty
and arguing over which video game was better.

The Ranger instructors were still assholes when they wanted to be, making them do stupid, useless shit like clutching a wooden telephone pole like a koala—upside down. The days still started early and ended late, if they ended at all. And Cole Range during the winter months was still cold, still wet, and continued to be the absolute worst, soul-sucking part of the assessment program and the most likely place to break even the most mentally tough men.

For the most part, the RIs didn’t give him a lot of grief since his paperwork said it all. Thirteen deployments in eleven years earned him more than a modicum of respect.

The few hours they spent in the barracks, his room became another first aid station. He even had to go as far as setting office hours of sorts, because although he’d survived this life for a lot of years, he still needed at the very least a couple hours of sleep if his brain was going to function. But when he didn’t have his makeshift “closed” sign hanging up, he spent a lot of time checking guys’ feet, taping blisters, taping wrists, taping ankles, and reinforcing the fact they needed to learn how to take care of not only themselves, but their Ranger buddies. And those few who came to him with injuries beyond athletic tape’s treating capabilities, he sent them off to the aid station, reassuring those who had the grit and heart to become a Ranger that it was more than likely they’d be recycled into the next class once they healed instead of being summarily dismissed from RASP and returned to the general army.

Their phones were confiscated the first eight weeks of RASP as a way of removing unnecessary distractions. After completing phase one, the RIs returned them to the recruits who still remained and Lucky found himself hoping for a slew of text messages, voice mails, and emails from Rachel. Instead, there was only one.

One lousy text message that was a picture of the couch he’d bought her as a Christmas present. Only five words accompanied the picture.

I love it! Thank you.

“Just great,” he mumbled under his breath as he shoved his phone in his pocket. He’d been gone two whole months and all she had to say was she loved her new couch. Not him. Her new fucking couch.

At this point, he’d be better off volunteering as a shooting target on the live fire range. He could dress all in black and draw concentric ovals on his chest with a small X in the center. At least that way he’d be put out of his fucking misery.

Finally he pulled his head out of his whining ass and sent a series of messages to his dad, to Bull, and then to Rachel, letting them know he’d survived phase one just fine and was looking forward to graduating in a month.

Bull replied within seconds, which quickly segued into a long back and forth as they both reminisced about their adventures in the Ranger Indoctrination Program the first time around. Messages which just reinforced Lucky’s assessment that while many things had changed, a lot had stayed exactly the same.

His father replied a few hours later with the standard
I’m very proud of you
parent message.

Much to his disappointment, he didn’t receive a reply from Rachel before he mustered the following morning.

During the course of phase two, those who remained were asked which battalion they preferred. No way in hell would he request 3rd Batt because Fort Benning was a place better seen in your rearview mirror. For a moment he considered requesting 2nd Batt for a change of pace since it was located in Fort Lewis, just a few miles from Tacoma, Washington. Plus, as much as he hated to admit it, his curiosity had been piqued by the 2nd Batt stories of supposed Big Foot sightings and part of him wanted to know if there was any truth of the matter.

But really, why reinvent the wheel? He loved Savannah. The sunny weather. The great fishing. Not to mention the fact all his friends were there.

And the last thing he wanted was to be on the other side of the continent, surrounded by strangers, especially if his future didn’t include Rachel.

I
T WAS THE
middle of March when David showed up on her doorstep, offering to buy lunch. He’d taken the week off from his law practice since it was spring break for his kids, but after doing the family thing for five solid days, the togetherness became too much and things were getting a little chippy. His wife decided it was best to divide and conquer and strongly suggested he drive down to Durant and spend the day with Rachel instead.

That was how she came to be at the same diner, sitting at the same booth she and Lucky used to share, eating a club sandwich and French fries with David. As much as she loved her brother and appreciated him taking the time to visit, it just wasn’t the same. It would never be the same.

Rachel shoved her food to one side and made a small puddle of ketchup. Then she added more. And more still. Because she missed watching Lucky pour half a bottle onto his plate.

“Adam and I have been talking a lot lately and we both owe you an apology,” David said as he added a more than healthy amount of salt to his fries.

Her head shot up to meet her brother’s eyes. “For what? It’s not your fault you didn’t know about my real father. Or the fact that he’s dead.”

It took a month before any of them could get a name from her mother. Then it took another few weeks for David’s private investigators to find her real father had died in a single vehicle accident less than two years later in Missouri. No known marriages. No known children. No known living relatives. A part of her life had been firmly sealed shut before she ever knew anything about it.

“I’m not talking about your dad,” David said as he wiped his fingers on his napkin. “I’m talking about how Adam and I left you to handle all of Mom and Dad’s crap. We both kept telling ourselves it only made sense for you to take care of it because you live here. And because you’re a woman and a nurse only added to our bullshit excuses. And I’m sorry for that.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” he said, shaking his head. “And from here on out, they aren’t your responsibility. If there’s something they need, Adam and I will take care of it. If it’s not something they need, too bad. You’ve provided far better for them than they ever have for you. So focus on yourself from here on out. If we need help, we’ll call you. Got it?”

Rachel smiled and nodded, immediately feeling as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Now, she had the freedom to focus on what would be best for her and her baby.

After lunch, she drove the two of them to the outskirts of town where Ethan was laid to rest. The last time she hadn’t come alone was the day before Lucky left for Fort Benning. On that day he was there as she cleared away the fake poinsettias she’d placed in front of his grave. Since then, it had been too cold to give his headstone a proper cleaning. So today was the day.

Just as she’d done hundreds of times in the past, she followed the single lane road along the perimeter and stopped at the back. She grabbed the bucket and cleaning supplies from the bed of the truck, taking them straight to a nearby tap. As the bucket filled with soapy water, one of the groundskeepers called out her name and waved.

After waving back she turned off the tap and was about to pick up the bucket and brushes when her brother knocked her hand out of the way. Clearly that was his way of saying he’d carry it.

“How often do you come here?” he asked as they made their way across the cemetery to Ethan’s grave site.

“Quite a bit. I always come here to talk to him when I’m confused about stuff. Especially since he always seems to give me the right answers. But I’ve been coming here a lot lately and . . . nothing.”

David placed the bucket on the ground and laughed.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Are you listening to yourself?” He shook his head while simultaneously dipping the scrub brush in the soapy water. “Ethan gives you the right answers? That’s funny. And I’d bet money even Ethan would think it’s funny. You of all people coming to him for advice.”

“Why is that?”

“Because Ethan was never more than a kid,” David said, now scrubbing the backside of the white granite. “What did he know about life that
you
didn’t teach him?”

“I assumed he had a better perspective.”

Rachel followed suit, dipping her brush in the cold water, her fingertips already going numb as she started at the bottom and scrubbed her way up, taking extra care to clean the black letters engraved on the front. They worked in silence for several minutes, she on the front, him on the back and sides.

“So maybe you can talk to me instead of him. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Well, for starters . . . I’m pregnant.”

David rose to his feet so that the headstone didn’t obstruct his view. “Okay. That’s not something a guy likes to hear from his baby sister. Especially when she’s not married.”

“Wasn’t Stacie pregnant with Zach when you two got married?”

“That was different.” The scrub brush he’d been using went flying into the bucket, splashing brown, soapy water up and over the sides.

“How so? Doesn’t she have an older brother? Did he get all upset?”

David laughed. “As a matter of fact, he did. Took me out for drinks under the guise of wanting to get to know his brother-in-law better, and before the evening was over, he was threatening to drown me in the Illinois River if I ever hurt his sister.”

“Wow. That’s . . . not nice.”

He took the brush she had been using and tossed it in the bucket as well, carrying it back to the tap where he dumped the dirty water out and refilled it with clean.

“It was an idle threat,” he said while carrying the bucket back to her. “It’s not like there’s ever that much water in the river. Whereas Lake Texoma is just a ten-minute drive away and happens to have way more water and be far deeper. So where do I find the asshole who knocked up my baby sister?”

“Fort Benning, Georgia. And he’s not an asshole.”

“But does he know you’re pregnant?”

“We found out together before he left for training.”

“And he still left?”

“He asked me to marry him. And I said no.”

Using one hand David backed her away from the headstone before pouring the water over top, rinsing away the remaining soap and grime. “Why did you say no?”

“Because I was afraid he was only asking because I was pregnant. I was afraid of moving halfway across the country to a place where I didn’t know anyone. I was afraid that something could happen to him and then I’d be left all alone.”

David lifted one brow. “And what are you now?”

Dammit. He had a point.

“What should I do?”

Her brother slung one arm around her shoulders. “No. I’m not going to tell you what to do. You need to figure it out for yourself. Or maybe,” he said, gesturing to the headstone with the bucket he held in his hand, “I should ask what do
you
think Ethan would say?”

Rachel sucked in a lungful of air and let it all out. “He’d probably say it’s time for me to let go of him and this town and move on with my life.”

David smiled. “I think that’s exactly what Ethan would say.”

He pulled her closer to his side and kissed her temple. “Don’t tell the others, but you’ve always been my favorite sister.”

“Why am I not your favorite sibling, period?” she asked as they made their way back to her truck.

“Because Adam has this great little house in the Florida Keys and he lets us use it for two weeks every summer. Rent free, I might add.”

“So let’s say I marry Lucky and move away. Ethan’s truck really isn’t conducive to infant car seats. Won’t Zach be getting his driver’s license soon?”

“Okay. I like the way this is going.”

“If I give Ethan’s truck to Zach, would I be your favorite sibling then?”

David smiled at her. “There’s only one way to find out.”