Here And Now (American Valor 2) (23 page)

Rachel stepped into the bathroom and flipped on the overhead fluorescent light. She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, at the puffy lids and dark circles that shadowed her eyes. At the hair hanging loose from the messy knot on top of her head and her paler than pale skin. It was safe to say she looked the way she felt.

And yet when she narrowed her focus to her lips that were rosy and swollen from his kiss, she felt beautiful. The same way she always felt when Lucky looked at her.

She took care to follow the instructions since that was the number one reason why most pregnancy tests gave the incorrect results. After setting the plastic wands on the back of the toilet, she washed her hands and headed into the kitchen. Just as she expected, he was standing there at the ready, cell phone in hand.

“How long?” he asked, his finger hovering over the timer app.

“No less than three. No more than ten.”

“Seven minutes, it is, then,” he said, keying the numbers into his phone. “Why don’t you go sit down in the living room? Watch some TV. I’ve got things under control here.”

She wandered into the living room and grabbed a throw blanket from the back of the couch before settling into one corner. It took a minute or two before she realized she was sitting in the same place where their lives changed in a matter of minutes.

It wasn’t as if her birth control had failed that day since she wasn’t taking any at the time. She’d stopped taking her birth control pills months before so she wouldn’t have sex with Curtis. By stopping the pills, she effectively cut him off since he refused to wear a condom. Then, even after she moved out, she didn’t bother to refill her prescription, telling herself it was a way to prevent herself from falling straight into bed with the next guy that came along.

Only that reasoning didn’t work either.

When she closed her eyes and thought back to that afternoon, all she could see was the pain on Lucky’s face, hear the anguish in his voice. How he clung to her as if his life depended upon it.

Her whole life, that’s what she’d been desperately seeking. Not someone who wanted her. People always wanted and wished for things and after a time they’d tire of whatever or whomever it was only to discard them. Throw them away like yesterday’s trash.

She never needed to be wanted. She’d wanted to be needed. And on that day, Lucky had needed her.

His footsteps pounded on the floors as he made his way through the house. Next thing she knew, he was standing there in the doorway, test sticks in hand.

Rachel pulled the blanket up to her chin. “It hasn’t been seven minutes.”

“So I shortchanged it a bit by a couple of minutes.”

“It’s positive, isn’t it?” One corner of his mouth lifted as he nodded. “And the other one?” she asked even though she knew what his answer was going to be.

“Same as the first.”

She buried her face in her hands as her whole world fell apart.

This was her fault. She did this.

He was drunk and distraught and not thinking clearly. And she took advantage. And now . . .

This was all her fault.

He settled on the couch next to her and she immediately shot to her feet. “I need to go lie down.”

“You don’t want to talk about this?”

“I can’t. Not yet.”

She raced from the living room, not wanting to see the look on his face.

“What about dinner?” he called after her.

“Not hungry.”

She closed the bedroom door behind her and climbed into his bed, clutching his pillow tight in her arms.

What was she going to do now? She could barely take care of herself, let alone a baby. And to do it all on her own? She didn’t even own a couch. How on earth was she going to afford a baby?

Several hours later, with her pillow now damp with her tears, she heard him turn off the TV, lock the doors, and switch off the lights as he made his way through the house. When the low creak of the bedroom door announced his arrival, she feigned sleep, because she wasn’t ready to hear what he had to say.

The covers lifted and the bed dipped as he climbed in beside her. Even though he whispered her name, she didn’t open her eyes, didn’t move the slightest bit. He waited a moment for a response, then curled his body around hers, wrapping a protective arm around her waist, his hand resting just inches from where their baby grew.

For now, she’d soak up his warmth and the security of his arms, because within a matter of weeks he’d be gone and this would all be over.

Chapter Twenty-Three

L
UCKY C
OULDN’T SLEEP
at all, his mind racing with the possibilities of a future with Rachel. It was selfish to think it, but their unplanned pregnancy might be just the thing to convince her to leave this small town and join him wherever the army sent him after RASP.

He couldn’t help but find it funny that what he wanted from life now was so very different than what he imagined just a few months ago. He had never completely ruled out the possibility of a wife and children, but it wasn’t a must-have in his book. And now, he couldn’t imagine a life without her and a herd of redheaded kids with bright blue eyes.

He’d teach them to ride a bike, to bait a fishing hook no matter if they had boys or girls. They’d spend weekends at the beach building sandcastles and flying kites. And every night he was home, he’d hold her tight and every day he’d thank God for the time she nearly ran him over in the hospital parking lot.

Now that he’d imagined the possibilities, returning to the army and resuming his career as a special ops medic would no longer be enough. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Rachel. He wanted this baby. And more children. Then grandchildren. Suddenly, he wanted everything.

And to get that, he knew exactly what he needed to do.

But the clock said it was only a little after five in the morning and no respectable jewelry store in a ninety-mile radius opened before ten. For a moment he considered waking her and asking her to marry him right then and there. But he screwed so many things up between them that he was determined to do this one thing right. He wanted to have a ring in hand, maybe even get down on bended knee. Either way, it meant he’d have to wait. So he slid out of bed, changed into his running gear and hit the pavement in the hopes of running off some of his nervous energy.

As his feet pounded the blacktop, he knew in his gut everything would work out right. They’d have to be apart for a little while since she couldn’t be with him for the twelve weeks he’d be in RASP. But as soon as he was assigned to a battalion, whether it be in Washington state or Georgia, he’d find a place for them to live off-post, and then, finally, they’d be able to start their life together.

He could hardly wait.

Lucky had run several miles already when he turned down the two-lane road past Rachel’s place. Her trailer had just appeared over the hill when he noticed the familiar silver pickup towing a fishing boat coming to a stop at the end of the drive.

As he got closer, the window eased down and Rachel’s landlord waved his hand. “I wondered if that was you. You’re about the only person I know who runs out this way. How are you doin’ this morning?”

“Not too bad. How about yourself?”

“Can’t complain. How’s your girl doing?”

Lucky rested his hands on his hips, taking a second to catch his breath. “She hasn’t been feeling well, so I loaded her up and took her to my house.”

Walter chuckled. “Wanted something more to sit on than those silly camping chairs she’s got?”

“That and cable.”

“Can’t say as I blame ya.” Walter shook his head. “I have an old couch in storage that I offered her to use, but she said she’s saving up for one she found in a magazine. And that she’s more motivated to save her pennies if she’s having to use those chairs.”

Lucky knew just the couch he was talking about. The page Rachel ripped from a Pottery Barn catalog had been hanging on her refrigerator for weeks. Her plan was to wait until after Christmas to order it and pay cash. Little did she know he’d ordered it a couple of weeks before as her present even though it wouldn’t arrive until after Christmas.

They chatted for a few more minutes until Walter slapped his hand on the door frame.

“Well, I better get going. Those fish won’t be bitin’ forever. Tell Rachel to feel better.”

“Will do.”

Lucky waved goodbye and continued on with his run with an idiotic grin on his face. This was the happiest he’d been in weeks. Even when he and Rachel had moved forward with their relationship, there still had been something missing. But once he signed that contract to reenlist, he knew that hole had been filled. Now all he needed to do was hang on to her.

She was still asleep when he returned home, sprawled out facedown across the bed, her face hidden from view by all that fiery red hair. The blankets hung off the far side of the bed so he straightened them out and pulled the covers up to her shoulders. She stirred a moment, but thankfully she quickly fell back to sleep. So he showered, dressed, and left a note on the refrigerator that he’d be back by lunch at the latest and if she needed anything to give him a call.

The three hours he spent driving to Dallas and back he tried to work out in his head what he was going to say and do. The older saleslady recommended he just speak from his heart and not worry about rehearsing anything. The younger sales guy told him to just give her the box because “ ’nough said.” It was safe to say that Lucky wouldn’t take his advice. If ever there was a time to talk to one of the married guys from regiment, it was now. They’d give him good advice. But he sure as hell wouldn’t ask Gibby his opinion.

As he crossed the Red River back into Oklahoma, his excitement reached epic proportions knowing he’d be home within a matter of minutes. And the closer he got to home, the faster he drove. He’d barely turned off his Jeep when his feet hit the ground and he was jogging up the front steps to his house. As he unlocked the door, the thought crossed his mind he should have brought her flowers. But it was too late now because there was no way he was waiting another minute to ask Rachel to marry him.

The moment he walked through the door he was calling out her name, finally finding her sitting on the edge of his bed as she slipped fuzzy socks on her feet.

“You’re up.”

She smiled weakly. “Shocking, I know.”

It was obvious she didn’t feel well. Her blue eyes weren’t as bright and her lips were pale. Most of her copper red hair was piled on top of her head and secured with a rubber band and she was wearing the same clothes she did the day before. But she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Morning sickness?”

“More like morning, afternoon, and evening sickness.”

“Well, maybe this will make you feel better.”

And before he knew it, he pulled the ring box from his pocket and dropped to one knee at her feet. “Rachel Dellinger.” He eased the box open and looked into those big blue eyes. “Will you marry me?”

H
OW MUCH TIME
over the course of her life had she imagined this very moment? The face of the man kneeling at her feet had changed several times over the years. The setting was usually more romantic with flowers and candlelight. And she sure as hell wasn’t wearing yoga pants and a sweatshirt. The ring, however, was far better than anything she’d dared to imagine.

Rachel stared at the diamond solitaire nestled in the black velvet box he held out in front of her. Her eyes drifted up to meet his to see the smile on his face had reached his dark brown eyes. He didn’t look like a man who was proposing marriage out of obligation, but deep in the pit of her stomach she felt she’d forced his hand. Because he was a good man. A loyal man.

“You’re killing me, Shortcake.”

All those times she’d daydreamed about this moment, she’d never imagined it would go down like this.

Rachel covered the small box in his palm with her hand, unable to look at it anymore.

“I can’t,” she said through tears that sprung up instantaneously. “I’m sorry, Lucky. I’m so, so sorry.”

She didn’t know how he would react, what he would say. But she definitely didn’t expect him to snap the small box shut, stuff it into the front pocket of his jeans, then sit beside her on the edge of the bed. Even more surprising, he pulled her into the warm embrace of his arms and held her tight as she cried.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he said against her temple. “It’s a really big step. One you need to be sure of. I’ve had more time to consider this. Take your time. There’s no rush.”

She turned her head, resting her cheek on his shoulder. “You sure about that? Don’t most shotgun weddings occur before the baby’s birth?”

Lucky’s arms tightened around her, pulling her even closer. “Don’t think of it that way. No one has a gun held to my head. No one is forcing me to propose. You of all people should know no one makes me do anything. I go with my gut, my heart. Would you at least try the ring on for me?” he asked while pulling the velvet box from his pocket for the second time. “I had to guess since I have no idea what size you wear.”

“Why does it matter? You’re only going to return it.”

“You don’t know me very well if you think one little ‘no’ will deter me. This way, if it’s the wrong size, I can be sure to have it resized before I ask you the next time.”

Before she could protest, Lucky plucked the ring from its little nest and slid it on her finger. And of course it fit perfectly. The facets caught the bright sunlight streaming through the window and shot sparks of color around the room.

“It’s beautiful.”

He tipped her chin upward so she was looking him in the eyes. “I don’t want to marry you because some people in this world think it’s the right thing to do. I want to marry you because I love you.” His hand cupped her face, his thumb caressing her cheek, her lips. “Believe it or not, I’ve loved you a lot longer than a month.” And then he smiled. “So if anyone in this room trapped someone into marriage, it was me and my supersperm. Not even Plan B can stop them.”

She laughed then. “Damn your supersperm.”

He, of course, smiled proudly.

“So you take all the time you need. I’m willing to give it to you.”

Rachel looked down at the ring on her hand as she fiddled with the unfamiliar weight on her finger. “I do have one request.”

“Anything you want. Just name it.”

She slid the ring off her finger and handed it back to him. “I think it’s time for you to take me home.”

I
GNORING HIS GUT
instincts and what he wanted, Lucky did as she asked and drove her home. When they arrived at her place, he followed her inside, carrying the small bag she packed the day before and the few groceries he’d bought. As Rachel disappeared into the bedroom, he remained on the entryway tile, uncertain as to whether she wanted him to stay or to go.

A few minutes later when she emerged with a load of clothes in her arms, he was still standing there.

“What are you doing?” she asked as she breezed through the living room to the small laundry room off the kitchen. He heard the water start, the washer lid slam shut, and then she was back, that little crease between her brows and her arms crossed over her chest. “Why are you just standing there?”

“I wasn’t sure I was invited in. And I didn’t want to just dump your things and leave.”

Her expression softened and her hands fell to her sides. “You’re always welcome here, Lucky. Day or night. You have an open invitation.”

“Okay, then.” He carried her small duffel into her room, then put the grocery bags on the counter. “Just so you know, I’m not giving up on us.”

“I didn’t expect you would.”

She stared at him with those bright blue eyes, the one corner of her mouth hiked up higher than the other. For a moment, as they stood in the silence just staring at each other, he honestly thought she was going to change her mind. He could feel it building between them, just another minute or two . . .

Without any warning she turned and headed into the kitchen, strategically putting the breakfast bar between them. “I thought I should take advantage of the fact I’m feeling a bit better. For now, I’m just going to do some laundry, clean my bathroom, and probably take a nap. Surely, there’s something else you’d rather be doing?”

He wanted to spend every minute with her that he could before he left for Benning, but there were other things he needed to do. Like get his fitness back up before he showed up for RASP. “I should probably go work out.”

“Didn’t you run this morning?”

He nearly laughed. “I did. But a two-hour run won’t be enough to get me through a twenty-hour day.”

“My God. What all do they make you do there?”

Lucky did laugh then. “Shortcake, you don’t want to know.”

So he put on his best smile and kissed her goodbye, promising to return with dinner. With several hours to kill he headed for the gym and put himself through a vigorous workout that would make his Ranger buddies proud. Pull-ups. Push-ups. Flutter kicks. Weights. Another five-mile run.

It distracted him for a while, but the minute he finished, he decided to go talk to the one person he could always count on. And man, did he have a lot of explaining to do.

He drove across town to the house where his dad lived now and rang the doorbell. The look on his face must have said it all, because the moment Brenda laid eyes on him after opening the door, she immediately went to fetch his dad. No rambling small talk. No offering of food or drink. No teasing remarks about how he needed more meat on his bones and a new razor.

His father greeted him with a hug, held him a little tighter and a little longer than usual before they finally took a seat in the living room. Since Lucky had pretty much avoided his father for the past few weeks he didn’t even know about his being thrown out of the ER and his subsequent resignation. So he spent the first twenty minutes explaining everything that happened in that emergency room weeks before.

“The woman lived, right? Sounds to me like you did the right thing. I’m sure her family appreciates all that you did.”

“But I knowingly violated hospital policy.”

“You saved a life.”

“I know that . . .”

“Then focus on that. You saved her life,” his father said, arm waving as he spoke. “I couldn’t do that. Brenda couldn’t do that. Ninety-nine percent of the people in this town couldn’t do that.”

“But that’s not all.” Lucky winced, knowing his father was far more likely to be upset he’d taken so long to tell him. “When I went to Maryland, to Walter Reed, I kept seeing all these guys who’ve just come back, and knowing how much medics are needed . . .”