He's Captured My Soul (Captured Series Book 3) (41 page)

HE PUTS ME DOWN ON
the couch and sits close beside me, wrapping his arms around me. This is the touch I’ve missed. What I’ve longed for.

“I’ve missed you so much. I thought I, we would never have you . . .”I whisper as my tears fall, uncontrollably. My body starts to shake.

“No, Libby no, I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this nightmare.” He lifts me gently until he has me sitting in his lap. One hand rests on my bump while the other holds me close toward him. I rest my head against him and breathe him in. He smells how he should, of himself, not that bloody hospital. He kisses the side of my face repeatedly in an attempt to calm me down.

I’m torn in two; I want to lash out at him because of the pain he’s caused me, but I know I can’t because of his injuries. But deep down I know it’s not his fault the pain I was in. Part of me thinks he shouldn’t be out of hospital yet. Then there’s a part of me that is melting just from his touch. We should talk, this I know. But as I sit on his lap, my head against his chest, I know I am where I want and need to be.

Joan comes through with two cups and leaves them on the table. She smiles warmly before leaving us alone.

“What happened to your hair?”

“Kirsty. She made me move yesterday, put me in a shower and took me out.”

“Why?”

“Because when I left the hospital the other day, I’ve not done anything except stay on this couch. When Kirsty got here, she told me straight that I needed to wash and eat. So after she took care of one, and Joan took care of the other, she took me for a haircut. Don’t you like it?” I ask knowing fine well he doesn’t.

“I like the colour, but I prefer it longer,” he says dryly running his fingers through my hair. “Anything else you’ve decided to change, that I should know about?”

“Don’t you dare, Alexander Mathews. I’ve been to Hell and back several times over these last few weeks. First there was the accident, and I stayed with you in the hospital the whole time. Not knowing if you were going to live or die. Then when you did come around, I had to deal with the whole memory loss. You didn’t know me or want me near you. So I spent my time working at the hotel during the day, then sitting by your bed during the night watching you sleep. I also worked myself into such a state, that when you did come round, I took unwell in hospital and had to be admitted so the doctors could keep a close eye on my blood pressure.”

“So, while my husband was busy flirting with the nurses, I was lying in a bed in another part of the hospital. And do you know who was there for me? Not you.”

“Libby, I didn’t mean . . .”

“Maybe you didn’t, but your tone was off with me. And I’ve done nothing wrong to have you use a tone like that with me.” It’s true, what the hell did he think I would change in a few short weeks. I’ve worked so hard just trying to keep myself busy. I’ve worked on auto-pilot.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it. I don’t know what to say to you to make the situation better.” He turns his face away from me, in obvious pain and deep in thought. “Are you and the babies alright?”

“Yes, although the consultant wants to see me on a more regular basis. Michael has been keeping an eye on me as well. Both he and Kirsty came to my hospital appointments. ”

“Yeah, I gathered that from our heated conversation this morning.” He sighs. “Libby, I’m sorry you had to witness my behaviour and I’m sorry I pushed you away, when all you were doing was trying to care for me. I don’t know what else say.”

“Alex, I understand. I really do, but I can’t lie, because it hurt like hell. And I’m glad it was only Michael that was with me, because I would have hated it to be your parents or mine. If it were mine, I don’t think Dad could have held back. Injuries or not.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t blame him. And Michael didn’t hold back today. He cares about you.”

I hope he’s not reading more into this with that statement. We’re friends and only ever could be friends. “Alex . . .”

“No, I understand. And no I don’t think anything is going on with the two of you. If the roles were reversed, I would’ve done the same as Michael.”

“Can we talk more later, I’m exhausted and struggling to take all this in, and you must be in a bit of pain with me sitting here.”

“I’m more than happy to sit here with you, but I am a little sore,” he says nodding. “How about we have something to eat, then go for a sleep together.”

“Okay.”

I swear Joan has super-strength hearing. She has already started gathering food from the fridge when we enter. Alex pulls out a chair at the table for me. As I sit down, his hand touches my face briefly; I close my eyes for a second. The air between us is charged, drawing us back together where we belong, although I get the impression neither of us wants to act on it. He chooses to sit opposite me, instead of his usual place of beside me. Why would he do that? If he really remembers everything, he would know we both need the closeness of being beside each other.

Alex makes small talk with Joan, and from her replies to him, I’m not the only one struggling with recent events. There is an awkward silence hanging in the air between Alex and me as Joan cooks. I notice my phone sitting on the table flashing. Picking it up, I notice several calls and messages from Michael. I check the texts first.

Libby I need to speak with you.

I wanted to warn you Alex is on his way to you.

I will now try the landline.

Well at least he was trying to warn me.

“So, what did Michael say that made you remember?” I ask curiously.

“I’ll tell you later,” he tells me as Joan puts down some pancakes in front of us both. Obviously this is information he doesn't want Joan to hear.

I start eating straight away much to Joan’s surprise. His gaze is burning through me, I can feel it. Glancing up I catch him and our eyes lock. And in this moment I stare at my handsome husband opposite me, and I understand why he took that seat.

Not going to cry. Honest, I’m not
. I tell myself over and over. My beautiful man looks at me as though he hasn’t seen me in weeks. Ready to devour me, to pounce on me at the first chance he gets. But he’s reining it in, controlling, although given the looks he’s giving me, I’m not sure I want him to keep it under control. I want him; that hasn’t changed in the last few weeks. But I am unsure if it would be a wise thing to do under the circumstances, we still need to talk. I want to know what Michael said to him.

“Are you going to finish that?” he asks.

“No, what I ate is a big improvement of late.”

He stands and walks the short distance to me and holds out his hand. “Come on then, I want to lie and fall asleep with you in my arms.”

I take his hand that is offered and we walk to our bedroom. We stop in the middle of the room. My chest stills as he turns me in his arm. I’m suddenly afraid. Not afraid of Alex, but afraid that I won’t be able to work out the issues I have going on in my head.

“Libby, everything will be fine,” Alex says, resting his chin on my shoulder and wrapping his arms back around me. “I’m here with you, where I belong. We will work this out. I love you.”

“I love you too, that hasn't changed. But I am struggling.” Why am I feeling so shitty? My husband remembers everything, all our life together so why can’t I just be happy and content with that? I know everything he said to me when he lost his memory shouldn’t make a difference with us now. But it has. It’s turned my world upside down. Silly I know, but the more I try to rationalise it all, the more upset I get with it all.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks me. Suddenly I feel awful.

“Have you ever had to ask that question before?”

“Not since the first day we met. But I get you’re hurt and probably still upset with me. But I’ve been fighting the urge to kiss you since I saw you sleeping on the couch. So peaceful, and it brought it home to me, the last time I saw you was the morning of the accident. You were sleeping and I kissed your forehead before I left for work. So forgive me and let me show you how much you mean to me.”

“I love you and want you. There is nothing for me to forgive . . .” I don’t get a chance to finish my sentence before his lips are on mine. It’s tender and loving and leaves me breathless. His lips are soft against mine, but taste exactly how I remember. He pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. God, I’ve bloody missed him these last few weeks.

“Sorry. I’m sorry . . .” This time I don’t let him finish as I grab his face in my hands and pull him back toward me. Kissing him hard, taking him by surprise. His lips move in time with mine, back where they belong and it feels so damn perfect.

I pull away first this time and I can see the same flicker of emotion I usually see in moments like this, when we are both desperate for the other. It’s the first time in weeks I’ve seen a sparkle in his dark brown eyes. “Alex . . .” I whisper in a needy voice. “I need you.”

“Let’s go for a bath,” he says, trying to control the wavering I hear in his voice.

“Okay.”

I enter the bathroom and start running the bath, putting my own bubble bath in it. He follows me and I hear a low chuckle when he sees what I’ve put in the bath. Well, I do prefer my smelly stuff in a bath to his. I remove the clothes I’ve slept all night in, with my back to him keeping an eye on the running water. Hopefully having him back home with me, I will get my act back together.

Turning the water off, I turn toward Alex and gasp in shock at what I see. “I forgot about all these because you were wearing clothes,” I say, running my hand slowly across the top of his shoulder and down the front of his chest. The bruising is still bad and all the cuts look worse than I remember.

“They will heal, that’s damage that can be repaired. I just hope I haven’t caused any lasting damage between us.”

“No damage,” I answer with what I know must be a weak smile.

“Now the picture I had in my mind of my beautiful wife isn’t the same as the vision in front of me.” I turn away slightly with his words. “No the vision of my pregnant wife is very different. I can’t believe I’ve missed out on the last three weeks.” I can’t answer that, because I don’t know what to say to him.

“Now come on, are we taking this bath or not?” I ask changing the subject.

He climbs in, in answer to my question. I climb in at the opposite end from Alex, wanting to face him.

“I don’t think so. When have we ever taken a bath like this? You belong in my arms,” Alex tells me, looking a little hurt by my actions.

“I don’t want to hurt you by leaning against you.”

“Let me worry about that. Now get your ass here next to me.

I move, positioning myself in the bath, until I’m sitting between his legs. I really don’t want to hurt him, but he pulls me toward him until I’m leaning into his chest. His arms wrap loosely around with his hands gently resting on my bump. I turn my head so my cheek is resting against his chest and I close my eyes. The water is warm and welcoming. Or is it because I’m lying here in Alex’s arms that it feels welcoming?

“Is this better?” he asks.

“Better, no. Perfect, yes.”

Feather-like kisses cover my forehead at the same time his hands rub against my belly. I could stay here in his arms forever. If someone had told me yesterday, I would be lying in my husband’s arms again, I would’ve told them there was more chance of me winning the lottery. Although it does feel as though I have won the grand prize. My eyes remain closed but I know I should open them, so I don’t risk falling asleep.

I’m comfortable where I am. We lie here for what seems like forever. I listen to the beating of his heart against me, and as always, it has a soothing effect on me. This is what I’ve missed about him the most over recent weeks, not just the sex between us. But having thought about that, I do miss it. It can wait until he is feeling better.

“Libby, we need to get out you’re getting cold.” Opening my eyes I nod. He places a lingering kiss on my lips and I have to fight the urge to respond, to deepen it.

I stand and wrap a warm towel from that was hanging on the radiator around me. I turn just in time to see him flinch in pain as he tries to stand. My hands reach out to help him automatically but he refuses. Feeling hurt, I turn away from him.

“Libby,” he calls my name. He stops me from walking away by taking hold of my shoulders and turning me back to face him. “I refused because I didn’t want to hurt you. If I slipped or something, you would have ended up falling with me. And I could never forgive myself if something happened to you or our babies because of me.”

“Nothing is going to happen to us now you’re home where you belong.” I kiss him hard and he responds, making me feel alive. For the first time in weeks I have a purpose again. A soft sigh escapes him, a sound I love to hear. I pull away first, wanting to make sure he’s alright. He looks me in the eyes before bringing his hand to the nape of my neck pulling me back toward him. His mouth on mine. This time neither of us is in a hurry to stop this. Our connection is back where it belongs. I’m lost to him.

“Let’s go to bed. I want to fall asleep with my arms wrapped around you,” he whispers.