Highland Escape (16 page)

She wheeled Orion, sending him back down the trail. A shudder ran through her. What if his words were meant merely as reassurances? He knew she was upset for killing Shamus. His actions were likely those of an older brother who sought to comfort her agitation.
Do I fear being spurned?

She’d not given herself permission to feel for him. Yet she remembered seeing his long, dark brown hair, sky-blue eyes, and rough-hewn body the day they first met. Never had she been so aware of a man before. His presence, as much as anything, moved her, something she had no words to describe.

She understood now. Somehow, she’d allowed this man to breach her heart. How much, she only now discerned.
It matters not. ’Tis folly, and I will not travel further down this path
.
I will keep my emotions in control.
She squelched the small voice inside her.
It is NOT too late!

She spotted Duncan at the stable, waiting as promised. Dismounting several yards away, she made a show of cooling Orion, not yet ready to speak. Seeing the man addled her wits. The words she’d formed in her mind now lay tangled on her tongue. He smiled at her.
Damn! How does he reduce me to a hen-brained fool?

“Was yer ride helpful?”

“Not very. I think Orion got more out of it than me. I did come to the conclusion you are right.”

He angled his head. “How so?”

“You were right about Shamus. He would have kept coming until I agreed to fight.” She held his gaze firmly, previously unknown feelings eroding her control.

“’Tis the truth. I am sorry ’tis so, but ’tis done. Ye have shown yer mettle to the clan. Ye will be completely accepted now.”

“How can that be? He was a clansman. I am a Lowlander, an outsider—
English
.” She said the last with a distaste she realized she meant.

Her favorite smile returned, tilting the corners of Duncan’s expressive lips. “Everyone knows what ye did for Nessa and Isla. They think ’tis a good omen to have such a hero in our midst. Aye, Shamus was a clansman, but one who was only tolerated. He was a man with few friends.”

This reminded her of the guilt of killing him. “What about his family?”

Shaking his head, Duncan replied, “Nae, there will be none. Shamus lived with his brother. Neither married, mostly because no sensible woman would have either of them.” He chuckled.

The thought of any woman putting up with Shamus brought the hint of a smile to her lips also. Her quandary about Duncan returned. Her brow furrowed.

“What bothers ye still?” His tone was soft and low.

Taking a deep breath, Anna struggled to answer. She was not possessed of her own mind, and her feelings cascaded out of control. How could she possibly explain it?

“I am confused.” It didn’t say much, but at least it was the truth.

“May I assist with yer confusion?”

Anna shot him a wary look. “I doubt it.”

With a puzzled look, he asked, “Why not?”

Uncertainly roiled through her, the fear of rejection hard on its heels. She took another deep breath and braced herself before answering. “Because I am confused about you.”

Understanding swept across his face. He tilted his head back. “Ach. I see. So which part is confusing? Ye embracing me, my words, or how ye feel about it?”

“All of it.” Anna kept her attention on brushing Orion, but her stomach fluttered and her heart set a rapid pace, leaving her lightheaded.

“Well, start with the embrace. How did it make ye feel?”

His tone remained calm, as if speaking to a jittery horse. A good analogy, given her present state of mind and half-willingness to bolt without further comment. Could she risk telling him this? He’d not laughed at her yet, nor spurned her. She wrestled with speaking the truth.

“Good. It felt good.” Her voice a whisper, Anna stopped the pretense of brushing her horse, and gazed past him, unable to make eye contact.

“Might I try again?” He gently turned her chin to face him.

A burning lump in her throat kept her from answering. She nodded. Slowly, he brought his arms around her waist and embraced her. Anna stiffened. As his heat surrounded her, she softened and returned the hug. He smelled of leather, horses and something unique to him. His breath on her ear created a wave of shivers as he nuzzled her hair. She brought her cheek down upon his shoulder, fully relaxing into his arms, eyes closed.

“How does this feel?”

Anna sighed, considering his question. “Good,” she whispered. How
did
it feel? Good seemed an inadequate response. She searched for a better answer. “I feel safe, content.”

He shifted one of his hands and cradled the back of her neck. He rubbed the muscles there, easing her tension. He traced the patterns on her shoulders and arms, exposed from the tear in her tunic.

“How about the words I find ye unbelievably beautiful, and am proud to have ye as my friend?”

Chewing her lower lip, Anna considered this more risky than the hug. However, she found courage in his embrace. “Other than my father, no one has ever told me I am beautiful. I do not believe it to be true. Every father thinks his daughter is beautiful. You being proud of me, and considering me a friend, evokes a strong emotion, one I am not sure I can name. I have felt utterly alone for some time.” The lump in her throat grew and tears threatened to escape.

“Whether or not ye see it, ye are very bonny. I will be happy to remind ye daily. Ye arenae alone anymore, Anna. Ye are part of us now. Ye have a new home, a new clan.”

The remaining apprehension she’d held evaporated with his gentle words. Anna melted into his arms, shifting to draw closer. She reveled in his warmth as they pressed against each other from knee to shoulder. Anna felt the beating of his heart as clearly as her own. Both set a rapid pace. His hand moved upward and caressed her scalp, smoothing her hair. She understood now how her old cat felt when she stroked her fur. If she could, she would purr as loudly as the one-eyed stable cat.

Duncan slowly released her. Cold replaced the heat of his body and an urge surfaced to touch him again. He placed his hands on either side of her face, bringing her eyes to his gaze. She floundered, still confused by the emotions swirling within her.

“Duncan, what does this mean? Why do I feel this way?” She felt so stupid, so ignorant. How could she not know more about this part of life?

His eyes shone with something she didn’t recognize. “It means, my sweet Anna, I have offered to court ye, and ye have said aye.”

She tilted her head. “It does?”

He smiled warmly at her. “Does it not feel that way to ye?”

Anna searched for an answer. She thought about how she felt both times in his embrace, how much she enjoyed being around him. She considered the words he’d said to her earlier. He thought her to be beautiful, was proud of her.

“Yes it does. What comes next?”

He chuckled lightly. “How can ye be so knowledgeable about so many things and know naught about this?”

Heat raced up her neck and across her cheeks. Self-conscious, she ducked her head.

“Please dinnae be embarrassed. I meant no offense. I mean to say ye are so innocent in this regard. ’Tis hard for me to believe I finally found a subject where I may teach
ye
something.” He gently tilted her chin up. “The next step will be for us to spend time with each other, getting to know one another more, developing trust, becoming better friends.”

Her brows furrowed. “But Duncan, we already spend time together each day.”

“Aye, we will continue to do so, but now we can add closeness to our time together if ye like.”

She considered his answer, deciding she liked it indeed.

“Also, we will share kisses.”

The flutter in Anna’s stomach increased with something akin to fear.

Perking up an eyebrow, Duncan asked, “Have ye not kissed a man before?”

Embarrassment returned unbidden. Unable to speak, she shook her head. Duncan’s gaze fell to her mouth. Anna’s tongue moistened her lips in anticipation.

Duncan slowly lowered his face and softly touched his lips to hers. The sensation was exquisite. Warmth spread over her body, chasing her fears into a hasty retreat. She rose on the balls of her feet to meet him, changing the soft touch to something firmer, more exciting. All sense of herself fled in the face of this new awareness. A hunger developed and she knew Duncan could answer it. With a sense of desperation, her hands firmly grasped the back of his neck, pulling him against her.

Duncan responded in kind to her bold move. His hand slid to the small of her back, pressing her into him, curving her body around his frame. She grew short of breath, and her lips parted. Duncan’s breath and tongue pushed her further and a moan escaped her throat. He toyed with her lips, gently nipping and pulling at them, his tongue drawing lines across them before darting into her mouth to make further contact.

He tasted wonderful, wild, intoxicating. Tentatively, Anna mimicked his motions. With each swirl of their tongues, the kiss deepened. Anna broke away, no longer able to breathe. She stood in his arms, dazed, panting.

Duncan put distance between them. His eyes glowed and she noted he was as out of breath as she.

“Duncan, what
was
that?”

He wrapped her in his arms again. Anna delighted in the sensation. He pressed his lips to her hair above her ear.

“That, my sweet Anna, was passion. I should have guessed ye would approach kissing with the same fervor ye approach all else.”

Tilting her head back to see his expression, she asked, “Is that a good or bad thing?”

The rumble of light laughter in his chest teased her nipples.

“’Tis a verra good thing. Howbeit, we need to be careful.”

Careful? What did he mean? The realization hit her. She looked down, seeing what she’d felt from him.

“If we had continued, we would have mated?” Having grown up around horses, she knew enough about nature to understand the basics of this part. Besides, her father’s men hadn’t censored their stories if they thought her out of earshot.

His expression changed to a serious one. “I wouldnae let us go that far. I am not one to tumble a lass in the stables. Ye are a noblewoman, and I will treat you thus. I wish to court ye, not take advantage of yer innocence. Yer response was wonderful, but…unexpected. I half believed ye would take a swing at me.” He chuckled again. “I promise to be more careful next time.”

She instantly liked the idea of next time. Glancing outside, she noticed the position of the sun in the sky. Morning had given way to afternoon. After a trying few hours, Anna felt emotionally spent.

“My mother wanted me to remind ye ’tis yer afternoon with her.”

She’d forgotten.

“She knows about this morn. She said she would wait for ye in the great hall—not to worry about being late.”

* * *

Still in a daze from Duncan’s kisses, Anna walked to Nessa’s room. She washed and changed out of her torn, bloodstained clothes. Wandering downstairs, she glanced about for Lady MacGregor. Mairi rose from a chair in front of the main hearth, a look of concern in her eyes as she reached to embrace Anna.

“Anna, I heard about today. Are ye well?”

She wasn’t, but not because of what Mairi thought. “I suspect I shall be fine.”

Mairi took Anna’s hand. “Come, let us walk.”

They strolled down the path, reaching their garden bench. Mairi patted the seat, inviting Anna to sit.

“I dinnae pretend to know what ’tis like to take a life, but I will listen if ye wish to speak of it.”

Anna smiled, knowing she tried to offer comfort in her way. Killing Shamus wasn’t what disturbed her. True enough, taking any life was terrible, but she no longer had a sense of guilt about Shamus.

“No, I have no need to talk about this morning.” A look of relief washed over Mairi’s face. Anna’s smile faded. If Mairi knew what she
did
want to talk about, she might rather speak of killing.
How can I ask Mairi about this? Duncan’s own mother?
The very thought of it crippled her tongue, yet her ignorance compelled her to seek information.

She had already decided Nessa was an inappropriate source. At five and ten years, anything she did know, she probably shouldn’t. Further, she wasn’t ready to face the certain ‘I told you so’ looks she would have to endure if Nessa found out. She could either talk with Mairi, or continue along in the dark. As someone who pursued knowledge with zeal, being completely daft on this subject proved intolerable, particularly since it had such a powerful effect on her. She decided to swallow her pride.

Taking a deep breath, she forged ahead. “There is another matter. Something I am terribly embarrassed to admit not understanding.”

“Of course, my dear. How may I be of help?” A soft expression reflected Mairi’s curious and supportive tone.

Anna closed her eyes and steadied herself. “Do you remember asking me to not think of you as Lady MacGregor during these times, but as my dear aunt?”

Mairi squeezed Anna’s hand. “Aye, of course. Ye can ask me anything.”

Anna shot her a look of apprehension. “I fear what I wish to speak of may cause my favorite aunt to succumb to convulsions.”