His Absolute Proposal: An Illicit Billionaire Love Story (Elise, #3) (4 page)

She gave people perspective.  Whether through her stories, or simple natural discourse, she offered her own unique perspective on life, the world, and existence, and she dragged anyone who would listen to her into the maze of her psyche.

Currently, Lucent was trapped in her maze forever.  There was no way out, no turning back.  He didn't even want to start searching for an exit.

And he'd almost lost that.  He'd almost lost her.

Asher Landseer's words hung between them.  Lucent took careful consideration of what he should say, and of what he should do.

So, did you tell Elise your plans yet?

"Would you mind if I spoke with Miss Tanner privately once she and Mrs. Landseer are through finalizing her new wardrobe?" Lucent asked.

"Are you going to tell her?" Asher asked.  "Are you going to talk to her about what you want to do?"

"Yes," he said.  "I'll ask her what she'd like to do with me once we depart."

"Oh?" Asher asked.  He appeared entirely too amused by the wording of Lucent's previous statement.

"Are you entertained, Mr. Landseer?" Lucent asked with a wry grin.

"You're going to ask her what she wants to
do
with you?" Asher said.  "Going by what I saw earlier, I think that's asking for a lot of trouble."

Lucent chuckled in remembrance.  "Yes, perhaps.  That's not what I meant, of course, but I daresay it still may be asking for trouble."

"You do realize that she'd follow you anywhere, don't you?"

Asher's words gave Lucent pause.  "Doubtful," he said.  "Miss Tanner is intelligent and may think for herself."

"Of course she is," Asher said.  "That's not what I meant.  She trusts you, Lucent.  Yes, you did something stupid, but you can get over it.  In general, she trusts what you're saying.  I'd say that, in general, most of what you do and say is trustworthy, too.  There's an important implication there."

"Is there?" Lucent asked.  "And you're going to inform me of what that implication might be, I assume?"

"Yes, I am," Asher said.  "She'll follow you anywhere because she trusts you, but on the flip side of that, I believe you'll do everything you can to maintain her trust.  It's a mutual bond, Lucent.  Jessika and I aren't as into the BDSM scene as you, and I know that.  It doesn't change the fact that the dom doesn't control the sub because he wants to, he's given the opportunity to do so because she allows it.  This is the exact same thing, but without the whips and chains."

"Possibly," Lucent said.  "Miss Tanner and I have never even discussed using proper whips and chains, though."

Asher rolled his eyes.  "That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Yes, I know," Lucent said with a calm smile.  "I believe I understand what you're saying.  I hope it's true."

"It is.  I know it."

J
essika's closet full of old clothes reminded me of my closet back at my apartment.  To be completely honest, I couldn't imagine her wearing most of what she had here, though.  She seemed like the sort of person who had always worn fancier, more expensive outfits, but apparently not.  I didn't know why I felt like that or why I thought she would have always been the way she was now, especially considering I knew she'd been more like me before she met Asher, but...

I supposed it didn't really matter, all things considered.  People changed, right?  We were allowed to be different.  We didn't need to stay the same for our entire lives, be exactly the same person now as we would be tomorrow, or the next day, or a year from now.

That thought scared me in a way.  I didn't know if I wanted to change like that or not.  Not in the same way Jessika had changed, because to be honest I just didn't know how she had; I didn't know her before she was Asher's wife.  I just...

Would I become like Elle?  Was I like her already?  Yes, I obsessed over Lucent in some ways, but I couldn't imagine myself waiting for him like that.  How long had she waited, too?  Years, at least according to Lucent.  And so she waited that long, always hoping he'd return, and once he had, she fell to her knees and worshiped him as her master again?

It seemed so strange to think of something like that actually happening, but then it happened.  Would it happen to me, too?

When I first met Lucent, I didn't think so.  In fact, when I first met him, I thought his BDSM sex games—or whatever he wanted to call them—were abusive and terrible.  I also thought he was kind of a jerk, but for entirely different reasons.  He seemed so uptight and formal from everything I knew about him, and I'd seen a few videos online where he came across exactly the same way.

And, well... Lucent was basically still like that, but I guess it wasn't as bad since I knew him better?  I didn't know how to explain that.  He wasn't abusive, or terrible, first off.  Yes, he was formal, but I wouldn't quite call him uptight.  He preferred it, because it allowed him a certain sense of self in a way.  He wasn't always formal, either.  When it was just us, him and I alone together, a different side of Lucent came out.

I loved it, and I loved him, and I...

In a year from now, would he change?  Or would I?  Would we both?

We played at his BDSM things, and I had to admit that I mostly enjoyed them, but I couldn't see myself doing any of the deeper activities.  I didn't want to partake in hardcore bondage, or absolute submission.  I couldn't even begin to imagine being in a 24/7 total power exchange BDSM relationship with Lucent.  Except that's what he'd wanted at first, wasn't it?  Not with me exactly, but that's the kind of relationship he told me was his deepest desire.  Did he still want that?  Not entirely, but a little bit?  If not with me, then with... who?  Deep down inside of his mind, a tiny nagging thought of what if?  What if I was his, entirely, not just now and again, not just in a relationship like a boyfriend and girlfriend are, but with him as my Master and me as his slave?

In a year from now, would I change enough to want something like that, too?

No, I didn't think so.  Granted, if someone had asked me six months ago if I thought I'd be on the run from the police and in a relationship with a man who had apparently done more than a few illegal things, some of which involved money laundering, illegal temporary immigrants, and so on, well... I would have thought they were insane.

I was the insane one now, wasn't I?  Maybe not insane, but I wasn't exactly acting normal, either.  Not by a longshot, not even remotely close.

Ugh.  Life was difficult and confusing.

None of that mattered right now, though.  Not yet, at least.  I stepped out of Jessika's bedroom carrying a tight pair of her old jeans that fit my size, and a casual, fitted t-shirt, fully planning on pretending my life was normal by taking a shower.

My life wasn't normal, though.  Even less normal than I thought, too.  Lucent stood in the hall, waiting for me.  Before either of us could say anything, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bathroom.  He didn't speak until he'd turned the light on and we were both standing on the smooth, tiled floor, facing one another.

"Miss Tanner," he said.  "A word, if you will?"

Jessika smiled at me from the hall.  I smiled back before turning to Lucent.

"Um... alright?" I said.

"Good," he answered, then closed the bathroom door behind us.

We stood in there, close.  I didn't know what to do now, so I put my new clothes (or Jessika's old clothes) on the back of the toilet, then waited.

Lucent smiled at me, casual and calm.  "How are you doing today?" he asked.

"Is that why you wanted to speak with me privately in the bathroom?" I asked, almost laughing.  "To ask me how I'm doing?"

I didn't mean to sound rude or annoyed, but I thought I might have come across as a slight bit uppity.

"No," he said.  "Not in the least.  It was a simple preamble to what I wish to discuss with you."

With a quick, measured step, he spun away from me and approached the shower.  Barely a second later, he had the hot water running, the showerhead spraying into the tub behind the shower curtain.

"Now," he said.  "If you will."

And that was that.  He placed his hands on my hips, then lower, dragging his fingers across my dress.  When he reached the bottom of my skirt, he gripped it tight in his fingers, then lifted up.  Practiced and swift, yet casual and languorous, he peeled my dress up my body.  I didn't quite realize what he was doing at first, but instinctively I lifted my arms, letting him pull the dress all the way up and off of me.  A handful of seconds later, I stood nearly naked in the bathroom.

Yes, I wore a bra, but my panties were still in Lucent's pocket.  I only wore a bra for a half-second longer, too.  With artful precision, Lucent reached behind me, unclasped my bra, and pulled the straps down my shoulders.  He placed my dress and my bra on top of the lowered toilet seat, and...

His hands immediately went to my hips and he pulled me close.  He still wore everything, his suit pants and his dress shirt.  He stood in stark contrast to me, his masculine form taller and fully clothed compared to my shorter stature and nude body.  Despite this, for whatever reason, it felt perfect to me.  I really liked this.  I did want Lucent to be naked eventually, but... I didn't mind standing close to him like this for a little while longer.

He stepped close to me, then pulled me closer to him.  Our bodies touched, hip to hip, my bare breasts and nipples scraping gently across his smooth, almost silken shirt.  I leaned close and lay my head on his chest near his shoulder, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight.

"Lucent, I don't know what to do," I said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I don't know what we're supposed to do," I said.  "I don't know where we're supposed to go or how we're supposed to get there or what we're supposed to do once we are.  I don't want to think about it, either.  I didn't think I'd ever have to think about it, Lucent.  I just want to be like this.  I want us to be together like this without any of the rest of it, you know?  Why is everything so complicated now?"

He bent his head close to mine and kissed my forehead.  "I'm sorry," he said.  "You have my sincerest apologies."

"I know you must not have meant for any of this to happen, but it did," I said.  "So, now what do we do?"

"We?" he asked, cautious.

"I'm not very useful," I said.  "I mean, not for whatever is going on right now.  I know that.  I might end up getting in the way and being a burden, but..."

"No," he said.  "No, Miss Tanner, of course not."

"Can I be Elise right now?" I asked.  "Please, can you call me Elise for a little bit?"

He smiled and kissed my forehead again.  I didn't let him, though.  Or, I let him do it once, but then I tilted my head up and stood on tiptoes so that he could kiss my lips.  He did.  It was soft and sweet and cozy and nice.  The shower behind us warmed the room, covering us in a blanket of gentle, heated fog.

I didn't want Lucent to leave me.  I didn't want this to just be "a word, if you will, Miss Tanner," I wanted more.  I wanted him to shower with me, to be with me, to stay close to me.  With anxious, nervous fingers, I reached for the buttons of his shirt and began undoing them.  I thought Lucent would stop me, but he didn't.  When I had his shirt all the way unbuttoned, I pushed it away from his shoulders, making it fall down his body.  He took the initiative then and pulled it the rest of the way off, slipping his hands through the sleeves and cuffs, then tossing his shirt in a heap on top of my dress and my bra.

"These, too," I said, tugging at the waistband of his pants.

"Will you take a shower with me?" he asked.

I nodded twice, fast.  "Yes.  Will you take one with me?"

He grinned at that.  "I would love to."

"And then what?" I asked.  It was supposed to be a teasing, seductive question, but Lucent surprised me with his answer.

"Come with me," he said.  "Once we're finished talking with Mr. and Mrs. Landseer, come with me, Elise.  We'll leave and go somewhere safe, I promise."

"Where?" I asked him.

Where was safe?  Or, better yet, what was safe?  Did safety exist now, or was it all a lie?  I didn't know where we could go.  I didn't know if we could go anywhere.  It seemed like maybe we shouldn't, like we should either give ourselves up and go to the police of our own accord, or else stay here and hide out at Jessika's old apartment.  Where else would we go?  Where could we go?

"This is going to sound peculiar," he said, "but I have an idea, if you're open-minded enough to consider it honestly."

"Well," I said.  "I don't know what you're going to say, but when you say it like that, it makes me think you're considering something like going back to Elle's apartment."  Quickly, I added, "Which I'm not willing to do.  I know that might sound childish, but I don't care, Lucent.  I'm not going to go back there.  I don't want to hide out at your ex-girlfriend's apartment, or whatever she is."

"She was never my girlfriend," he said, frowning.

"I understand that you mean that to sound like a more acceptable thing, but if I'm being open and honest with you right now, I'd rather she was your girlfriend than your sex toy submissive or whatever you want to call her."

Lucent smirked, amused.  "Sex toy submissive, Miss Tanner?"

"Elise," I said, reminding him.  "And, yes.  I don't know?  What did you do with her?  Did you just tie her up and spank her, or did you cuddle and watch movies and go to dinner?"

"I don't think this is the type of conversation I want to have at the moment," he said.

"I think this is exactly the type of conversation I want to have at the moment," I countered.  "And then once you've told me, you can tell me what you want to do and where you want to take me."

"Fine," he said with a sigh.  "Obviously I wasn't always a loving individual.  In fact, I would say I might have been the opposite.  I had a passion for business and business dealings, but as far as relationships were concerned, I didn't wish to make time for them.  My BDSM relationships were an exception to that rule, where I allowed myself an outlet for my dominant tendencies, while finding a willing submissive to suit my needs."