HIS Desire: An H.I.S. Novel (H.I.S. series Book 1) (20 page)

She turned and wrapped her arms around his waist. He hugged her tight her soft curves molding to the contours of his body.

Through happy tears, she whispered in the corded muscles of his chest, “She’s going to be okay. She’s going to be okay.”

He closed his eyes and felt both relief and joy at her recovery. He’d come to care for the dog. She was as lovable as her master. “Are you ready to go home?”

She pulled back, remaining in his tight grip and looked at him. She stared with longing at him, but he knew kissing her now was not the time or place even though he had a burning desire, an aching need, to kiss her.

“I’m ready.” He heard the disappointment in her voice as she backed out of his embrace.

Had she wanted the kiss as much as he had?

They left the office, driving home in a comfortable silence. When they entered the apartment, Kate stared at Dottie’s bed.

“I’m going to have to buy her a new bed.” The blood stains on the bed were a reminder she’d left Dottie alone while she’d been sick.

“Do you want to do it now? I saw a pet store on the next block. I can do it for you if you’d prefer.” He hated shopping, but if this would help keep her mind off of things, he’d take her shopping all she wanted.

“We may as well do it now. I got this bed there, so I know they’ll have something suitable.” She didn’t move. Her eyes didn’t leave the bed.

He couldn’t stand it. His heart broke for her. He moved closer and pulled her into his arms, one of his hands rubbing up and down her back, soothingly.

“Kate, she’s okay. We get to bring her home tomorrow.” He kissed her temple wanting to wash away the guilt he knew she felt.

“I know. I can’t help blaming myself. I should have been here. I would have caught it earlier.”

He whispered in her hair, “Kate, don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have foreseen this.”

“I don’t like to think that she suffered any.” Her arms tightened around him, her head buried deeper into his chest.

He had no idea how to get her to stop blaming herself. Maybe when Dottie came home tomorrow, she’d let this go.

She pulled back and looked at him, the sadness prominent in her gaze. “I’m ready to go to the pet store.”

He couldn’t resist. He gently kissed her. He wanted more but pulled back and let out a ragged breath. If they did anything now, it would be like what happened last night after Joy’s funeral, and she’d regret it. “We’d best go.”

Neither seemed inclined to remove their arms from around the other. At last, reluctantly, they parted.

She stepped back and straightened her shoulders. “Let’s go.”

* * * * *

Someone in a dark alley wearing sunglasses, a ball cap and a hoodie had paid the delivery guy. All he could remember was that he was small for a man. That could fit all three of their suspects plus a large portion of the population of Baltimore. They needed Ed, the driver.

Jesse watched Kate stare off into space most of the day. He’d attempted conversation with her, but she wouldn’t focus. He did convince her to take a nap and a long bubble bath, hoping that would relax her, help dissolve some of guilt she held over leaving Dottie when her dog had been sick.

So much had happened to her, pushing her to an emotional low. He didn’t know what to do for her and that frightened him. He knew he was falling in love with her and that terrified him.

He wanted her to be a part of his life. His and Reagan’s.

It had been so long since he’d been in a relationship that he didn’t know where to start to show her he wanted more than sex. His holding her at night and being there for her should have told her she meant something to him. She had to know.

Knowing that when he had her in his bed that he’d be making love to her instead of just having sex should have scared him, he hadn’t made love to a woman since his wife, but he reveled in the thought. He needed her tight body beneath him while he kissed every inch of her, not just tasting but loving.

Thinking of her naked body stirred him. He wanted her, but right now, she needed him as a friend, someone to comfort her. He could wait. She was worth it.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Kate woke refreshed, feeling like herself again, strong, focused and resolved to end this nightmare. The guilt of Joy dying in her place hadn’t subsided, but she knew she couldn’t let it rule her emotions. She needed a clear mind to help catch this bastard. And they would catch him.

First, she had something else to deal with. Her attraction to Jesse. He’d been such a caring, patient man the past few days, taking care of her while she’d dealt with Joy’s death and Dottie’s illness and while she’d humiliated herself by crying on him. He’d tried to make love to her, and she’d cried. He’d just held her, whispering reassuring words in her hair, kissing her temple, comforting her. She’d never felt so safe, so loved.

The more time she spent with him, the more she wanted to give in to him, let him take her to bed. Knowing there’d be no relationship between them made her hold back. How stupid of a reason was that? Who cared if they had a relationship? They had a firestorm of chemistry.

She couldn’t work this out on her own. She needed to talk with her sister, needed her advice. Now, she had to convince Jesse to let her go see Ariana, with or without him.

He wasn’t happy, but agreed to drive her to see her sister at her morning yoga class. She tried to get him to join in the class, but he had given her an ‘are-you-kidding-me’ look and waited just outside the door.

Kate joined the class as they moved into the downward dog position. She stretched her body into position, balancing her weight on her left hand. She whispered to Ariana, “I need to talk with you.”

“What’s going on?”

“After class.” Her left arm began to quiver, and she thought she’d fall before the instructor changed positions. Maybe she should have waited to catch her sister after class.

Through gritted teeth and a tight jaw, Jesse agreed to give her some private time with her sister at the nearby coffee shop. A few customers with laptops or newspapers claimed tables throughout the café. Kate and Ariana sat at a table in the corner. The closest customer’s shirt made her chuckle -
Bad Grammar: Don’t go their.

Jesse begrudgingly sat a table close to them, but not close enough to hear their conversation. His eyes roamed the café as did her security details that stood just outside the door making anyone who entered nervous.

Kate took a sip of her mocha latte. So much for any calories she’d burned in yoga class. “First, I’ve made my decision.”

“Okay.”

She sighed. “I know it’s important to you that I join you at Ross Communication, but I’m going to remain an FBI agent. It’s where I belong, Ariana.”

Her sister took a moment before answering, “Well, if that’s what you want to do, I wish you the best.”

She couldn’t decipher the look on Ariana’s face. No matter how her sister felt, she had to do this for herself, not for her sister.

“I’m worried that my injury may prevent me from staying an agent.”

“Well, if you can’t be an agent any longer, then your decision changes. No big deal. You join me.”

“It is a big deal to me, Ariana. I love being an agent. I’m doing something worthwhile, and I’m good at it. I’m scared of losing that option.” She wanted support from her sister. Her fear of never being an agent again superseded her fear of the Facilitator because she had Jesse, the FBI and H.I.S. protecting her. She’d never felt safer in her life.

Ariana reached across the table and took her sister’s hand in hers. “Kate, if it’s meant to be it’ll be. I’d prefer you were working at Ross, but if this is what you want to do, then I won’t stand in your way.”

“Thank you, Ariana.”

Ariana released her sister’s hand and curled it around her coffee cup. “Now, you said first. What’s second?” She took a drink of her coffee then set the cup down, her focus on Kate.

“I don’t know what to do about Jesse.” She looked over to find him glaring at a nervous man who entered the café with his gaze resting on Kate and Ariana.

Jesse stood and positioned himself between the man and Kate’s table. The customer looked at Jesse, went to the counter and ordered a double espresso, but Jesse remained standing until the man left the café.

“What about him?”

“I’m attracted to him.”

Her thoughts filtered back to the day she’d met him at the FBI office. Once she’d looked into those gorgeous golden-brown eyes that held an invitation in their smoldering depths, she’d been a goner. Her body had immediately reacted to him. It threw her off-balance. Then the invitation disappeared, the sudden shift had confused her, and then he’d called her AJ’s sidekick. Within one minute of meeting him, he’d tested her temper. Things went downhill from there.

Until he’d kissed her.

“At least you chose to be attracted to someone who’s appealing. Plus, he keeps sneaking peeks at you.”

“He’s just doing his job.” Kate looked at Jesse again. Yes, he was attracted to her, but his job was to watch her, keep her safe. He had to keep his eyes on her.

“How can you be such a smart woman but be so clueless about men? Have you slept with him yet?” Ariana sipped her coffee.

Kate cringed at her sister’s blunt statement. “No, we’re not sleeping together. The problem is that I want him.”

Ariana raised an eyebrow. “How is that a problem? He wants you, and you want him. That’s the right combo, sis.”

“It won’t work. Once they catch this killer, he’ll be gone. I don’t know if I could deal with that.” His walking away, denying them an opportunity to build something, would break her heart.

“Kate, do you care for him?”

She hesitated and took a sip of her coffee, buying time to decide how much to divulge to her sister. “I do care for him. I can’t help it. He’s a gentleman, he’s fun, and he took great care of me when I needed someone.”

“Not to mention he’s sexy as hell.”

“Well, there is that.” Kate chuckled. “What am I going to do? I fear that I’ll give in then regret it.”

Ariana drained the last of her coffee. “My advice is you should sleep with him. Enjoy it while you have it. There’s no reason to have regrets. I’ve never understood your need to get emotional about sex. You need to learn that sex can be just sex. Live a little, sis.”

Was Ariana right? Could she do this without any regrets? Could sex just be sex with her?

“Just don’t let yourself fall in love with him.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t fall in love with him.” Could she fall in love with him? Probably. Did she love him already? No, but he stirred something inside her.

Jesse stood as they left the table to throw their cups in the trash. “Everything okay?”

She smiled at him. “Everything’s perfect.” She would figure out how to have no regrets because she planned to take her sister’s advice the next time he attempted to seduce her. She just wouldn’t fall in love with him. She could do that. “Thanks for giving us privacy.”

“You’re welcome.”

She threw her purse over her shoulder. “I’m ready to go if you are.”

“Let’s go then. Any other unplanned stops before we pick up Dottie?” he said in a disapproving voice.

“Yes, the grocery store. We’re hosting dinner tonight and since I’m injured, you’re going to be head chef.”

“Hell no.”

* * * * *

Kate and her friends held a group dinner once a month at her apartment since she insisted on cooking for everyone. Jesse didn’t win one argument about her friends not visiting. They’d all been cleared, and she’d refused to back down, threatening to fire him and his men. He had to admit he really just wanted to keep her to himself. He didn’t care if that meant he was being selfish.

Like him, her friends found it intriguing she had theme nights for each day of the week. They rotated the nights of their dinners to enjoy different cuisines which always included one new recipe she bravely tried out on them.

Tonight was Mexican food night. The menu included Tortilla Soup, Chicken Enchiladas with Roasted Tomatillo Chile Sauce, Spicy Black Beans, Mexican Rice, Empanadas, and, of course, Margaritas. The new recipe for the night was Sopaipillas with Chocolate Sauce.

He’d enjoyed shopping with her, watching her try to remember what she’d written on the shopping list she’d left at the apartment. The security details got a little irritated that they kept backtracking in the store.

After they settled Dottie on her bed by the fireplace, Kate tossed him a polka dotted apron to wear then sent him to the chopping block to cut the chicken and onion for the soup. Thankfully, he managed to cut the onions without crying. Would she have laughed with him or at him if he’d embarrassed himself by crying? Definitely with him.

After he cut the ingredients for the soup, she dumped them into a large pot to cook.

Next, she put the chicken on for the enchiladas. He’d never seen someone so efficient in the kitchen, especially with her current limitation. She hummed to herself while she cooked, not seeming at all stressed about the large meal she had to prepare or the fact she would be trying something new.

Once the chicken finished cooking, she instructed him in the proper technique to make enchiladas before he put them in the oven. Then she gave him the ingredients to cut to make Pico de gala and guacamole. He told her they pre-made these condiments, but she just smiled and said, “Fresh is always better.”

He enjoyed their playfulness while they’d prepared the group dinner. They’d settled into a comfortable domesticity, and it lightened his heart. He hadn’t missed the smoldering looks she sent his way when she thought he wasn’t looking.

He’d waited long enough to touch her. While she stirred the black beans, he stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist relieved that after she initially stiffened, she relaxed and leaned her head on his shoulder.

He kissed her temple. “This has been nice, Kate. Really nice.”

She closed her eyes. “Yes, it has.”

He pulled her close against his erection. “Feeling you sidle up next to me as we prepared the food and watching your sexy ass shake when you stirred the pot has done this to me. Tonight’s the night, Kate. Get them out of here quickly. I need you. I need to touch you. I need to be buried deep inside of you, feeling your heat, feeling you clench me when you come.” His voice held a rasp of excitement. “And Kate,” he paused, “you will come.”