His Ever After (Love Square) (21 page)

Admitting defeat, I decide to give her space tonight. In the morning, I’m going to fight to make this right. Without another word, I walk out of our room and into the guest room at the end of the hall. I stare at the ceiling until the wee hours of the morning, when exhaustion finally takes hold of me.

***

The next morning, I wake around nine o’clock. I already called into work, leaving a message on McGee’s voicemail telling him Tessa was sick. I knew things were going to get ugly, and there was no way in hell I was actually going to go to work and let Sam fester over this shit.

I make my way downstairs into the kitchen. I find Sam there, baking while Tessa sits in her bouncy chair on the floor by her feet. Normally, I would walk right up to Sam and kiss her good morning. I’m not taking a chance with losing my balls today, so I opt to stand just inside the doorway and watch Sam work. Baking has become her new thing. Now that she has an assistant, she has some more time to herself. Whenever Tessa is playing or napping, Sam tries to find some time to practice her new skills. She isn’t half bad, but it’s often hit or miss with her creations.

I clear my throat, announcing my presence, and she looks up at me. She doesn’t look any happier than she did last night. There is still disappointment in her eyes, and she looks exhausted. She probably didn’t sleep for shit last night either.

“I’m still not ready to talk to you,” she announces with no preamble whatsoever. “You should go into work and give me some more time.”

“No.”

She looks up from kneading her dough, and a shocked expression settles on her face at my forceful tone.

“I refuse to let you push me away. I gave you that play last night, seeing as how I just unloaded a bunch of shit on you. But today… today we’re going to play things my way.”

Sam looks at me incredulously. She obviously wasn’t expecting me to fight this way in order to keep our marriage together. I’m not taking my chances and letting her slip away. Last time we didn’t communicate and just danced around each other, things fell completely apart.

“We promised that we would never go to bed angry. We promised that we would never sleep in separate beds. I gave that to you last night, even though I didn’t want to. Now you’re going to hear me out.” I swallow and try to put into words what I’m feeling. “I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. And I will fight for you and Tessa until my dying day. I made a mistake. A truly horrible and unforgivable mistake. At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. I was blinded by jealousy and rage. In one fail swoop, my whole world was taken from me when I found out you were having an affair.

“I’m not proud of how I acted, but I can’t go back and change the past. I can only look forward and try to be a better man. A man who won’t make that mistake again. I forgave you for breaking my trust, now I’m asking you to forgive me for breaking yours. I won’t let you shut me out. Fight with me, scream at me, do whatever you have to do. Just don’t walk away from me and what we’ve built together. I deserve that much.”

When I’m done begging for my wife to give me a chance, I stand there while she does just what I ask. She screams at me and fights with me. And I fight back, tooth and nail, to get her to forgive me.

Chapter Fourteen

Jacob

I emailed her days ago and still no word. I’ve been on pins and needles for almost two weeks waiting to hear from her. Maybe I won’t hear from her at all. No. I refuse to believe that. If Aiden told Sam the truth, there is no way she wouldn’t reach out to me. Wouldn’t she at least want to see if I was okay? I mean, it’s not every day someone learns that their fiancée seduced and manipulated them for well over a year.

Maybe I don’t mean anything to her after all. Maybe I really was just a way for her to act out some of her inhibitions. Let loose a little. Maybe it’s finally time for me to admit that she didn’t love me the way I love her. Aiden was right. I’ll never be with her again. That heartache I have been setting myself up for is most definitely filling my chest right now, squeezing me painfully.

This whole situation is all I think about these days. Whenever the phone rings or I get a new email, I’m sure it’s going to be Sam. I need to get my mind off her. I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I feel my muscles tensing with each breath. I could really use a massage. What I’d really like though is a drink. That would surely loosen me up.

Can I just give up like this? It is possible that Aiden never told her anything? It would be extremely stupid of him not to heed my warning, but stranger things have happened. As I continue talking myself around and changing my mind again and again, I decide that I can’t let go without trying one more time. That would make me just as weak as her sorry ass husband. I never want to be compared to that fucker.

I pick up my phone, swiping my finger across the screen to bring it to life. With a deep and shaky breath, I scroll through my contacts until I find her number. When all the shit went down last year, I couldn’t bring myself to delete her from my phone permanently. It felt too much like completely erasing her from my life. So instead, I renamed her Parker Monroe. After finding out how completely psycho Brooke was, I’m surprised she never caught on.

I stare at the name on the screen for several long moments, before actually pushing the button that will hopefully connect me to the girl that holds my future in her hands. Once I finally will myself to man up and stop being such a scared, little pussy, I wait with baited breath for her to pick up. It rings several times before I think it’s going to go to voicemail. Just as I’m about to talk myself into giving up, a young sounding girl answers the phone.

“Hello. Samantha Parker’s phone. May I help you?”

I’m taken aback by the fact that it isn’t Sam on the line. My tongue doesn’t seem to be working, and my brain is sputtering to come up with words to say.

“Hello?” She asks when I don’t readily answer her.

“Hello?” She repeats, sounding irritated and I know I need to force myself to say something. She’s going to hang up and this would have been a wasted effort.

“Yes. Hi. I’m looking to speak with Sam,” I stumble over my words, trying to speak them in a rush.
Real smooth Jacob. You sound like a world class idiot!

“I’m sorry, but Sam isn’t available right now. Is there something I can help you with?” I’m curious who this girl is. She sounds official like, and I know her voice is too young and sweet to be Michelle’s.

“I really need to speak with her. Can you tell her Jacob Matthews called and give her my number?”

“Wait. Did you say Jacob
Matthews
?” She stresses and drags out my last name, as if she can’t believe it’s really me on the phone.

“Um. Yes?” I say more as a question, because this girl has me thoroughly confused.

“I saw your email the other day. I wanted to show it to Sam, but when I was hired, I was given strict instructions that if you or a woman named Brooke ever tried to contact her, that I delete the correspondence.”

Well, what the fuck! It’s a good thing I called then. I wonder whose fucking rule that was, Aiden’s or Sam’s.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t catch your name? You are?” I ask, wanting to be on level ground with this girl. She is obviously my key to getting in touch with Sam.

“Oh, right,” she mumbles into the phone. “I’m Lily, Sam’s personal assistant. She hired me last year, around Christmas time.”

“Look, Lily. It’s very important that I speak with her. Is there any way you can get that message to her?” I ask, turning the charm up in my voice, hoping it helps to win her over.

“For as much as I would love to, there is no way that’s going to happen. I like my job too much to go back on a promise.” I can tell by the determination in her voice that she means what she says.

I slump forward in my chair and drop my head down.
Fuck.
What the hell am I going to do now? Storm their house down to get to her? That would go over real fucking well. All I want is to talk to her, see her, and hold her. I need to know if there is still a chance we could be together.

“I understand. Thanks for your time,” I say with defeat and start to pull the phone away from my ear to hang up.

“Wait!” She cries out, before lowering her voice. “Don’t hang up. I only have a few minutes before Sam will be done feeding Tessa. Not long after I got hired, Sam ended up confiding in me that her book, Love Square, was actually based on events that happened with her and a guy named Jacob. I’ve read the book and I love your character by the way,” she says the last part as an afterthought.

“So, I kind of eavesdropped a few weeks back when I heard Sam and Aiden arguing. In my defense, they weren’t being very quiet about it. Anyways, I heard what Aiden did with that Brooke girl. For as much as I love Aiden, I think you deserve a chance to at least talk to her and let her hear your side of things. I guess you could say I’m team Jacob,” she says with a smile in her voice. I suddenly really like this Lily girl. I could kiss her even.

“You have no idea how much this means to me,” I say, choked up by how nice she’s being to me.

“Sam and I go to the park just about every day around two o’clock after Tessa’s nap. If you should happen to find us there, it’s not like I broke my promise.”

Lily then proceeds to give me directions to the park. I write them down painstakingly, so as to not miss a single one. Tomorrow, I’m going to go get my girl!

***

“Where you off to?” Brad asks before taking a sip of his beer. He’s sitting on his couch, with his foot propped up on the coffee table, watching a cooking show on television.

“I’m going to meet Sam at some park to see what I can do to win her back,” I mutter not really paying attention to him. I’m too focused on working out what I’m going to say to Sam when I see her again.

“Huh,” he says absentmindedly. The way he said that one word has me focusing on him.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask a bit irritably.

“I’m just surprised you’re going to go back there. You two might have had your good moments, but you were doomed from the start.” He holds up his hand when he sees I’m about to interrupt him. “Just hear me out, buddy. You two started a relationship based on false promises and lies. She never planned on leaving her husband, until after he caught her cheating. And when things got rough, the first thing you did was get hammered and fuck another girl. That right there should tell you that you two have real issues with commitment. I think you’re better off letting the girl go. If you were meant to be, you’d be. Don’t you think it’s weird that her husband told her, what, like three weeks ago what happened and you still haven’t heard from her?”

The fact that my best friend believes I shouldn’t be with Sam has me fuming. I would never tell him how to live his life. I would never speak badly about his relationship with Sophie. Who the fuck does he think is?

“You’re a fucking asshole, Brad. Way to have my back.” I stand up and make for the door. I don’t need his bullshit.

“If you stop to think about it, you’ll know I’m right. I just want to see you happy. Sophie is the best damn thing to ever happen to me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for that girl. Nothing that would keep us apart. Not a psycho fling, not an unplanned pregnancy, nothing.”

Part of me knows he is right, but the other part of me really wants to punch him in his big, fat mouth. My fingers tighten on the door knob. I need to get out of here and stay on track. I’m going to that damn park, and I’m facing down my future. I’m determined to try to win her back. If it doesn’t work, so be it. At least, I know I did my best. Turning the knob, I walk out without responding to anything Brad said.

***

I look down at the piece of paper with the directions and then back up at the street sign. Turning left, I ease into a parking spot on the road across from the park. I let out a breath and scan the area for Sam. The park is fairly quiet, seeing as it’s the middle of the week. There aren’t too many parents and kids running around.

I spot Sam sitting on a bench, next to a stroller. Sitting next to her is a girl with black, inky hair. She looks to be about twenty and is rocking a retro vibe. You’d think she stepped out of the fifties era, only her arms are covered in tattoos. This must be my savior, Lily.

I focus on Sam and watch her with her daughter on her lap. She’s shaking a stuffed dog in the girl’s face, making her smile wide and giggle. My heart clenches as Sam laughs back. I have visions of walking over and wrapping my arms around both mother and daughter. Kissing Sam on the head and having her smile up at me. The little girl bounces and squirms to get into my arms, and I kiss her sweet, little cheek while she smiles up at me.

I shake my head and try to rein in my thoughts. I’m getting way ahead of myself here. I’m not even sure Sam will give me the time of day. Other than the time that Brooke and I saw her in the mall at Christmas, my last correspondence was a scathing email where I told her to take a hike. It was such a bad time, between the miscarriage and Brooke’s hysterics. Add to that the fact that if Sam had never come over to enact her “revenge”, it might not have happened. At the time, I had no idea what she was talking about with missed voice mails and text messages. I do now, thanks to Brooke’s journals.

I fold out of the car and shut the door. Leaning on the roof, I continue to watch Sam. God, she’s so damn beautiful. After a few minutes, I straighten and head over towards them. It’s now or never.

When I get about ten feet away, Sam looks up at my approach and seems startled by my presence. It’s not the reaction I was hoping for, and I’m a little disappointed. Even if she didn’t want to talk to me, I still held out hope that she would be excited to see me again.

I look down at Sam’s daughter and am not surprised at all to see that she is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. She could win first prize in any baby competition. She has little curls framing her head and her light, blonde hair looks soft and silky. She has bright blue eyes that are almost hypnotic and an infectious little grin. Her eyes remind me a lot of Kara’s. It’s hard to look away from such beautiful gems.