His Heartbroken Bride (The Brides of Paradise Ranch - Spicy Version Book 4) (5 page)

Mason might be the only chance she had. Even now, with the shame of what she’d done pressing down on her, she found herself wanting to bury herself against Mason’s solid chest. Her lips tingled with a decade-old desire to kiss him. It was so different from the threat she’d felt every time Hector came near her that her mind could barely comprehend it. Mason was exciting, desirable, even. Hector was…

Hector. If Hector figured out where she’d gone and came after her for the sake of his child, Mason might be able to protect her. He might be able to protect Petey and Matthew where she couldn’t. That mattered far more than her dubious need to rest in his arms.

“Yes.” The answer tumbled from her lips before she could question her sanity.

“Yes?” Mason leaned back, surprise lifting his brow. “Yes, you’ll marry me?”

“Yes, I will marry you,” she answered, again fast enough that she wouldn’t change her mind. He was the one who should be changing his mind. He would put her away as soon as he knew the truth, but maybe, if there was any bit of a chance, she could prove her use to him as a wife and housekeeper and mother to the point where he might overlook her sins.

“Well, all right, then.” Mason smiled, pulling her close for a hug. That hug felt right. “We’ll get married. I’ll ask Howard about one of the houses in The Village right away.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. She closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder. A tiny voice deep inside of her murmured that this really was the right decision. It was a decision she’d wished she’d made years ago. Because if anyone could keep her and her children safe in spite of the truth, it was Mason.

Two days later, Libby woke with a start at dawn.

“I can’t do it. I can’t marry him,” she whispered to the hazy shadows of Muriel’s room.

There weren’t enough extra bedrooms in Josephine and Pete’s house for them all to sleep alone, so Libby had bunked with Muriel while her boys slept on a cot in Freddy’s room. Libby’s sudden awakening caused Muriel to stir. Rather than wake her little sister up too soon, Libby threw back the bedcovers, slipped out of bed, and tucked Muriel back in. She kissed Muriel’s forehead as if she were still a young girl and not close to womanhood, saying a quick prayer that she would remain innocent for as long as possible. Libby gathered up her shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders, then crept downstairs.

What was she thinking, accepting Mason’s proposal the way she had? Mason was a friend, in spite of the unresolved feelings between them. She couldn’t thrust him into the turmoil that had become of her life. He deserved better than that, better than her.

Much to Libby’s distress, the kitchen wasn’t abandoned when she walked in, tortured by her thoughts.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Josephine crossed from the stove to the doorway, shawl wrapped around her torso, nightcap still in place. She hugged Libby with all the affection of a real mother. “You must be so excited. Today’s the day.”

Libby hugged her back, more desperation in her embrace than excitement. “What am I thinking, Josephine? I can’t do this.”

The exuberance in Josephine’s eyes solidified into the wisdom of age. She gave Libby’s hand a squeeze, then led her to the kitchen table to sit down. Although at the moment, Libby felt far more like pacing and wringing her hands than sitting.

“All brides get cold feet on their wedding day,” Josephine laughed, veering back toward the stove where a kettle was steaming. She set about making tea as she continued dispensing advice. “You must have felt this way before marrying Teddy.”

It was true. She had questioned her decision to marry him. But the circumstances then were as different as ten years of life and tragedy could make them. She had two boys and an unborn child to consider now.

Libby shook her head. “It’s not that.” She winced, knowing full well that complete honesty was the only thing that could clear her conscience. She
knew
that, so why was it so unbearably hard to be honest?

Josephine studied her as she poured hot water into a teapot. “Is it the baby?”

Libby lowered her face in shame. She’d announced to her family that she was expecting at the same time that she and Mason had announced their impending nuptials. Like Mason, every member of her family had assumed that the baby was Teddy’s, conceived in his last days. In fact, they’d blessed her good fortune, assuring her that a new life would mean Teddy would live on. The joy and encouragement offered by her family during that conversation had come close to killing Libby with guilt. She hadn’t been able to make it through without crying. Thank God she hadn’t had to explain her tears.

“It must be daunting to marry a man while carrying another man’s child,” Josephine said as she brought a tray with the teapot, two teacups, cream and sugar to the table. “But under the circumstances, it couldn’t be more innocent.”

Slowly, Libby dragged her eyes up to meet Josephine’s. Her lips twitched and her tongue ached to confess the truth, but her jaw wouldn’t move.

Josephine continued to watch her through eyes that saw far more than she would say aloud. She added cream and sugar to one of the teacups, then passed it across the table to Libby. “Teddy was a good man,” she said. “I didn’t know him well, but he was generous and jovial every time our two families visited.”

“Teddy was the very best of men,” Libby agreed, her throat squeezing. “I’m proud to have known him, to have loved him. I won’t let our sons forget him either.”

“Of course not.” Josephine grinned. “So you think this one is a boy too?” She nodded at Libby’s stomach.

Libby had picked up her teacup, but set it down without taking a sip. She knew that failing to smile at Josephine’s comment could only look suspicious, but she couldn’t manage so much as a twitch at the corner of her mouth.

Josephine’s expression went serious. “Teddy was a good man, but Mason is a good man too, and I
do
know Mason.”

“As do I,” Libby sighed. She picked up her teacup again and managed to get it to her mouth for a sip this time, though her stomach roiled.

“But you think marrying again so soon after Teddy’s death is unseemly.” Josephine guessed at her thoughts.

She had to say something. She couldn’t hide the truth of what had happened from a woman who was the closest thing she’d had to a mother since her own mother died. She willed herself to find the words, prayed for them to come, but her soul was silent.

“Barely three months,” she whispered. And Hector had cornered her after little more than a month. “What kind of woman does something like…like this so soon after her husband’s death?” She lowered her eyes, sadness and shame pressing down on her.

Josephine was silent for so long that Libby peeked up at her to see if inevitable judgment had come to her eyes. So far, the only emotion there was concern. “Some women can go their whole lives without being married,” she said. “I thought I was one of them, but along came Pete. But some women blossom much brighter when they have a husband to stand strong beside them. I think you’re one of those women.”

“Maybe,” Libby conceded with a sigh. That could explain why, on one level, marrying Mason now felt like the right thing to do. She certainly would have stood a lot taller against Hector’s advances if Teddy had still been alive. In fact, the scenes from her memory that had played out during the last few weeks seemed to show that she
had
stood firmer when Teddy was by her side. It was only once he was gone that she had…fallen.

“There’s no shame in doing what’s best for you and your children.” Josephine reached across the table with her words, squeezing Libby’s hand. “I think Teddy would understand and approve.”

He would. At least, knowing Mason was taking his place he would.

And still, the truth ate at her, like a worm in the core of an apple.

“Josephine, there’s something I haven’t told anyone,” she forced herself to say, voice trembling.

Josephine still held her hand. “Oh? What?”

Libby licked her lips and took a breath. With her eyes downcast, she said, “Several men at the logging camp offered to marry me—for protection—after Teddy died. I think they were just being kind. But one of them, a man named Hector Sterling, was more…insistent than the others.”

She peeked up to judge just how deeply Josephine could see through her story.

“I take it you had no interest in him?”

Libby shook her head, cheeks going pink. “None at all, but he was…persistent. That’s why I took the boys and left Oregon.” And why she had tossed comfort out the window in favor of getting as far away from Hector as fast as she could.

“Sounds like you made a wise decision,” Josephine said, her brow clouded with confusion.

Libby tilted her head to the side. “Yes, but as I said, Hector was persistent. So persistent that…that I am afraid he might come after me.” More guilt piled up inside of Libby as she chickened out of telling Josephine what she’d intended to tell.

To Libby’s surprise, a smile spread across Josephine’s face. She leaned back in her chair, sipping her tea. “Well then, it all makes sense.”

“What does?”

“Your unusual worry these last few days. Your reasons for marrying Mason so quickly, even though you have doubts. This man, Hector, sounds like a bully and a scoundrel.”

“He is.” Libby hid her shame by sipping her tea.

“Well, my dear, no one can fault you for doing what’s best for your boys and for yourself,” Josephine went on. “Mason will make a good husband, and if this Hector fellow
does
dare to show his ugly face anywhere near Haskell, Mason will chase him off, quick as you please. So leave behind all this hand-wringing and sorrow. You’re a clever girl, and if you ask me, you’ve solved your own problems very well.”

Except for the tiny complication of the fact that she was carrying Hector’s child. Would a man be scared off so easily if he knew it would mean never being able to claim a child as his own?

“I suppose you’re right,” she said over her teacup, keeping her eyes down.

“It’s not me that’s right,” Josephine chuckled. “It’s you. Or Mason, depending on how you look at things.” She stood, patting Libby’s shoulder. “You’re doing the right thing, my dear. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a wedding feast to prepare.”

Josephine kissed Libby’s cheek, then returned to the stove. She continued to chat about the food she was preparing for the luncheon that would take place after the wedding ceremony and about how sweet Wendy Montrose was to whip up a quick wedding gown on short notice. Libby gave short answers when they were needed, but she couldn’t keep her thoughts on mundane things. She couldn’t silence the voice in her head that said she was a liar and a harlot for tricking Mason into marriage.

“I think I need to go for a walk,” she declared all of a sudden, in the middle of Josephine talking about how much Libby would enjoy living out at Paradise Ranch as a newlywed. Apparently there was a special house on Howard Haskell’s property, custom-designed for newlywed ranch hands, but Libby didn’t have room in her thoughts for it.

Josephine blinked and straightened from the bowl of biscuit dough she was mixing. “A walk?” She nodded. “Yes, all things considered, I think that’s a good idea. Don’t you worry about your boys. I’ll fill them up with biscuits, tea, and love as soon as they get up.”

Reassured about that much, at least, Libby managed a smile before heading back upstairs to change into a simple day dress. Muriel was awake by then, reading a book in bed.

“I don’t want to disturb you,” Libby reassured her as she threw on clothes.

“Are you excited for your big day?” her sister asked, putting down her book and pushing back the bedcovers. “I know I am.”

Libby laughed weakly. At least that made one of them. “What do you think?” she asked to evade the question. Before Muriel could answer, Libby fastened the last button on her blouse and said, “I’m going for a walk.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Muriel jumped out of bed and ran to her wardrobe.

“No, no, you take your time getting ready for the day. I need to be alone with my thoughts for a moment.”

“Oh.” A sage look came over Muriel’s adolescent features. “I see.” She skipped across the room and kissed Libby’s cheek.

In spite of it all, Libby was tempted to laugh. She’d thought she knew it all at that age too.

Still, it was a relief to bustle her way out of the house and onto the streets of Haskell. A fair amount of people were already up and about, walking to work or opening their businesses. She nodded to Mr. Theophilus Gunn as she passed The Cattleman Hotel.

“Good morning, Mrs. Sims.” The tall, white-haired man in his impeccable hotel uniform waved. “Felicitations on your happy day.”

Libby waved back, but kept her lips pressed shut. What would a fine, sophisticated man like Mr. Gunn think of the shameful thing she’d done?

No, she couldn’t continue to think that way about ever new person she saw. Wallowing in self-pity never helped anything. She had to pull herself up by her bootstraps and think about her children.

All of them.

She pressed a hand to her stomach as it twisted inside of her. But what if she couldn’t? What if…

“Is everything all right, ma’am?”

Libby glanced up to find the attractive, dark-skinned banker, Mr. Templesmith, standing on the front steps of the town hall. He’d been checking his watch against the clock embedded above the town hall’s door, but his concern was on her now.

“Good morning, Mr. Templesmith.” Libby forced herself to smile. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Nothing indeed. She’s getting married today.”

An odd rush of relief softened Libby’s shoulders at the sound of Mason’s voice. She turned to find him striding up behind her. He was dressed in what must have been his finest suit, his hair slicked back, his face freshly shaved. Her heart jumped against her ribs. How had she forgotten how handsome Mason Montrose was? A joyful smile filled her.

A moment later, it crashed. He was a fool to take her when she carried another man’s child.

Mason saw her reaction. “No, no.” He rushed the last few steps toward her. “None of that.”

He marched right up to her, taking her in his arms. Libby’s skin prickled with the need to sink into his embrace. Mr. Templesmith smiled and nodded to them before hurrying on his way with a grin that said he knew Libby was in good hands and didn’t want to interfere.

“How did Haskell end up with a black banker?” Libby asked as Mason released her from his hug and walked on with her.

“Uh-uh.” Mason shook his head. “You’re not allowed to distract me with questions like that when you looked so happy one second and so distressed the next.”

A train whistle sounded in the distance, as if to underscore the scolding.