His Reverie (24 page)

I don’t know if I can ever stop.

(July 28
th
, 4:23 a.m.) I’m writing this in the notes section of my phone because I want to remember this moment forever. The moment where I fell into Nicholas Fairfield’s arms. In his bed. Where I let him take off my clothes and I took off his and we did things. Incredible things that made my body feel like it broke into a million tiny little pieces and he’s the only one who can put me back together again.

I’m forever changed by this experience, and I don’t regret doing it. I know I made a promise to my father and to God that I would remain pure but it’s so difficult. Nicholas Fairfield is pure temptation to me. Delicious, perfect, wonderful, sexy temptation.

Now I understand why people do what they do for love and sex. I finally get it.

We didn’t go all the way because I wasn’t ready and Nick respected that. But we did just about everything else. The way he touches me…with his hands. His mouth. OMG his mouth. I’ve never experienced anything that felt so deliciously good. And the way he looked at me when he pulled off my dress and saw my bra and matching undies. I’ve never had someone look at me like that. Ever.

I’m in love. Definitely in love with Nick. I can’t deny it. He’s the perfect one for me. The only one for me.

I can only hope I’m the perfect one for him.

Sin: a deliberate violation of a religious or moral principle

July 28
th

I
wake up to sunlight blasting through my cracked open blinds. I throw an arm up, warding off the bright light and I sink my head back onto my pillow, tugging a sleeping Reverie closer. She’s wearing one of my T-shirts and her back is to my front, her butt nuzzled right up against me and damn, minus the semi-open blinds, this is the best possible way to wake up in like, forever.

A knock sounds on the door, startling me and I wonder if that’s what woke me in the first place.

“Who is that?” Reverie asks, her voice sleepy and so damn sexy.

“Don’t know and don’t care.” I bend down and press a lingering kiss to her bare shoulder. She has the smoothest, most fragrant skin in the whole entire world. I could spend hours kissing her everywhere.

I did just that last night and long into the early morning too. Just remembering the sounds she made, the way she looked when I made her come for the first time…

Another knock sounds on my door, this one longer and harder.

“Sounds like they certainly care,” Reverie says, pointing out the obvious. “Maybe it’s important? Someone you know?”

I hope to hell it’s not someone I know. There are only a handful of people who’d be knocking on my door and I don’t want to see any of them. “They can come back later. Or call me. The people who matter in my life have my number.” The moment I say it I realize there’s really no one in my life who matters. The only person who really does is lying with me in my arms. I’ve become wholly dependent on Reverie.

Fucking scary.

We’re quiet for a moment. I almost feel like I’m holding my breath, waiting for the knocking to start up again. But it doesn’t. Whoever was at my door must’ve left.

“I don’t have your number,” she finally says, her voice almost as soft as her fingertips on my skin. She’s tracing circles on my chest and it’s driving me crazy. “You’ve never given it to me.”

Surprise fills me. “I didn’t know you had a cell. We’ve never talk about it.” Kinda weird. She’s a girl. I thought they all lived on their phones.

“That’s because my parents took mine away. I begged my mom to give it back for my birthday but she didn’t. Until a few days ago. She called it a late present.” She’s silent for a moment and then she continues hesitantly. “She said I-I finally earned their trust back.”

She sniffs and dread fills me. I slip my finger under her chin and tip her face up. Her eyes are luminous and her lower lip trembles. “What’s wrong?”

“I feel guilty.” She shakes her head, a tear falling from the corner of her eye and sliding down her cheek. I stop it with my thumb. “I earned back their trust when really I’m being s-so b-bad. I’ve committed a sin, Nick. My parents would be so disappointed in me if they ever found out.”

Guilt fills me too. We’ve been almost borderline obsessive with each other these past few weeks. Sneaking glimpses of each other where we can. Kissing behind the stables, behind the house, in the woods, in my truck, on the beach…

And now she’s spent the night at my place. We’ve gone farther than we ever have before. Our fooling around is putting her relationship with her parents at risk. Putting her relationship with God and herself at risk too. Making her question her morals…

I didn’t have a religious upbringing. I know about right and wrong but I never had the fear of God put in me. I have no idea what that’s like, to have such strong beliefs.

“I should take you home,” I say firmly, moving away from her so I can sit up.

“Okay.” She scoots back until she’s leaning against the wall, freaking adorable wearing my T-shirt, her face bare of makeup, her hair a disheveled mess around her head. “I-I’m sorry, Nick.”

“For what?” Shit. Is she sorry we got involved? Sorry that she spent the night? Sorry that she’s going to have to break it off? My mind is awhirl with possibilities, all of them terrible.

“I don’t know. For being such a good girl? I can’t even rebel properly I swear.” She climbs out of bed and starts pacing. Her legs look amazing and I wonder exactly what she has on beneath my T-shirt. “You must think I’m completely ridiculous.”

I run a hand through my hair, then scratch my chest. “I think you’re completely normal. I’m not surprised you feel guilty. You never rebel. You’re always the good girl.” Until she met me. And that means I’m no good for her.

“Good girls are boring.” She throws her hands up in the air, which makes the T-shirt rise. Her back is to me and I catch a glimpse of her ass cheeks and my body instantly reacts.

Well. That confirms she’s wearing nothing under the shirt.

“You are definitely not boring,” I tell her, my voice low, my thoughts dirty.

Reverie whirls around, her hair flying out behind her as she faces me. “Do you like me, Nick?”

Her abrupt question surprises me, knocking aside my dirty thoughts. “Well, yeah…I like you, Reverie.”

“How much do you like me? I know you said before you don’t want to see anyone else but…what are we doing exactly?”

“I don’t know,” I admit quietly. “I like you. I love spending time with you. We’ve had a lot of fun together. But you’re going back to L.A. at the end of the summer. Going back to school. And I’ll be here. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“So what you’re saying is this is temporary.” She crosses her arms in front of her, the T-shirt riding up and my gaze drops.

“How can it be anything else?” I ask, my eyes locked on her upper thighs.

She emits an irritated noise and dips down, plucking her dress off the floor before she storms out of my bedroom and into the tiny bathroom down the hall, slamming the door behind her. I flop back on the bed and stare at the ceiling, blowing out a harsh breath.

I was honest with her. What’s wrong with that? This is for the best, I tell myself. I care for her. What we’ve shared these past few weeks has been…mind blowing in the best way possible.

But it’s not meant to last. It can’t. No matter how much I don’t want that to be true.

I crawl out of bed and shuffle through the apartment, the sound of running water coming from the bathroom telling me that Reverie is taking a shower. I go to the front door and open it, surprised to see a taped folded note fluttering in the breeze.

Tearing it off the door, I open the piece of paper and read it.

You wouldn’t answer your door. I’m guessing you were too busy with the pretty blonde who stayed the night? Who’s the lucky girl? Maybe all three of us could have a little fun sometime…

xoxo

Krista

I crumple the note in my hand as I slam the door, fury racing through me. Fucking Krista. When did she see us? Is she spying on me? What the hell is wrong with her?

My phone rings from where I left it on the kitchen counter the night before and I jog over to answer it, grimacing when I see who the caller is.

“What do you want?” I answer, my voice low.

“Ah, there you are. I’m guessing you slept in with your little love bug?” Krista’s voice is extra sweet, edged with obvious sarcasm and a hint of anger.

“Fuck off.”

She laughs. “I love it when you talk dirty.”

“I’m serious, Krista. Stay out of my business. We’re not together. We haven’t been together for a long time.”

“Do you think you can just use me whenever you want, then toss me aside when you find someone prettier and sweeter? Because she looks terribly sweet, Nicky. So sweet she gave me a toothache when I first saw her. Does she know about your past? About your time in jail? I mean, we know you weren’t guilty of any crime, but spending that much time locked up with criminals has to affect a person and not in a positive way. I bet she’d be shocked to hear that story.” Krista continues laughing and I grit my teeth, wishing I could reach through the phone and strangle her.

“Leave her alone. Stay away from us.” I hang up before she can get another word in. I toss the phone on the counter like it burned me, biting out a curse before I turn to see Reverie standing in the hallway, her damp hair pulled into a ponytail, wearing yesterday’s sundress, clutching her hands in front of her.

Shit. How much did she hear? Hopefully none of it.