Hollowed (35 page)

On the second ring, Noah
'
s groggy voice answers.
"
H
'
llo?
"

It
'
s a tone I
'
m used to. How many times has he picked up the phone sounding just like this? It never mattered where in the country he was or what time it was, he always answered when he saw my number.

Now I feel as unsure as I did the very first time I ever called him. The
what if
'
s running through my head: what if he doesn
'
t want to talk to me? What if he
'
s busy? What if he
'
s with someone else? As I
'
m sitting there like an idiot, trying to coax my dry throat into cooperating, he says,
"
Briar?
"

The air whooshes out of my lungs.
"
How
'
d you know?
"

"
The hotel name came up on the caller ID.
"
He yawns. There
'
s a shifting of fabric—
sheets, blankets
—
and he sounds a little more alert.
"
What
'
s going on
? Is something wrong?
"

Yes, no, maybe? I don
'
t know. Somehow saying
I just wanted to hear your voice
doesn
'
t seem like the
brightest idea
. I
'
m feeling a little too happy that he knew it was me and answered anyway.
"
Oh, sure, yeah. I just...
you know. I wanted to check in with you. See if maybe you
'
d heard or seen anything.
"
Smooth, yeah. Real smooth.

"
You
'
re a terrible liar. But for the record, no, I haven
'
t found
out much of anything
.
"
He sounds way too amused for my liking. So glad he can take pleasure in my discomfort.
"
The police have been all over your house, so I haven
'
t been able to get inside and look around. Sounds like they
'
re labeling it as arson, though.
Neighborhood kids screwing around.
"

I worry at my lower lip.
"
And my parents...?
"

Noah is silent a few seconds in the way that suggests he
'
s piecing his words together carefully.
"
I haven
'
t seen them. But...
I haven
'
t heard anything about any deaths, either.
"

My initial reaction is to jump off the bed and dance around. My more logical reaction is to sit there, try to stamp down the hope burning in the back of my mind. I don
'
t want to think about it either way. Not until I know for sure. I won
'
t get my hopes up only to have them crushed, but I won
'
t
yet
torture myself with the thought that I
'
ve lost them, either.

Instead I sit there, silent, trying to level out my emotions so I don
'
t sound like I
'
m ready to burst into tears when I speak.

"
Are you okay?
"

"
Yeah.
"
Breathe in, breathe out.

"
So, are you going to tell me the real reason you called?
"

Without thinking:
"
Nope.
"

He chuckles.
"
Didn
'
t think so.
"

"
Are you going to tell me why you answered?
"

"
You could
'
ve been in trouble. Or crying. I
'
m not sure which is worse.
"

I sink onto the bed and lay back, staring at John
'
s picture again.
"
I t
hink I
'
ve done enough of both to last me a lifetime. Figured I
'
d give you all a break.
"
My lip is getting raw where I
'
ve been biting at it.
"
Cole is meeting up with Maverick tomorrow. Guess Joel
'
s been working from his own agenda and causing all these problems.
"

"
Dangerous to go by himself, isn
'
t it?
"

"
He doesn
'
t seem to think so. I have a feeling he
'
ll be fine.
"
I roll onto my side and set the wallet on the nightstand.
"
Oliver, Daniel
,
and I are gonna go look for Ruby.
"

"
If she had any intentions of letting you find her, she would have been found by now.
"
His tone is icy.
"
Don
'
t you think there
'
s a reason she didn
'
t let you know where she was staying?
"

"
I don
'
t know,
"
I admit.
"
I figured she didn
'
t trust Oliver and Cole and thought I would tell them.
"

There
'
s a pause where Noah seems to be debating if he should say anything. Surprisingly, instead of arguing:
"
If you say so.
"

It
'
s not like him to give up like that
, but I
'
m kind of grateful that he does. Being able to talk to him so easily hasn
'
t been
...
uh, well,
easy
as of late. I w
ant to enjoy it while it lasts.
"
So
...
what are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to go with us?
"

"
Wow. You
had to have
know
n that was
a long shot.
"

"
I guess.
"

"
Then why bother asking? I work alone. As in, not with vampires.
"

I snort.
"
Because I—
whatever. Forget it. What
'
s your beef with vampires, anyway? Did one run over your puppy when you were a kid?
"

"
No.
One k
illed my family
.
"

He says it so simply, but I can sense the tightness in his voice.

I
...
really should learn to keep my mouth shut. I close my eyes, grimacing.
"
I
'
m sorry.
"

"
Yeah, well. It was a long time ago,
"
he mutters. For as small of a deal as he
'
s trying to brush it off as, it
'
s obviously not given that he tried to kill
me
over it.
"
Didn
'
t use to have an issue with them. But I
'
ve seen how drastically becoming a vampire changes someone.
I
'
ve seen what they
'
ll do for the pettiest of reasons.
They killed the people most important to me.
"
A pause.
"
Not my puppy, though. Wasn
'
t allowed to have one.
"

I
'
m caught between laughing and feeling guilty for wanting to.
"
Not all vampires, though
..."

"
Maybe.
"

Maybe? The word rings in my ears. A week ago, he would have laughed in my face and said ‘never.
'
Now it
'
s a maybe? I struggle not to read too much into it.

Besides, if he knew about John
...

A thought strikes me: do I need to tell him? Do I need to tell anyone? It was a mistake, that
'
s all. Just a horrible mistake that I
'
ll feel terrible for every second of the rest of my life, but it isn
'
t one I will ever let myself repeat. So if it doesn
'
t happen again, then
...
is it okay not to tell anyone? If it means keeping Noah, if it means not disappointing the boys? In this c
ase, would ignorance be bliss—
for them
and
for me?

I don
'
t know. Noah especially knows that I
'
m a terrible liar. Secrets gnaw at my insides like hungry wolves.

"
You went quiet. What
'
s wrong?
"

"
I miss you,
"
I blurt. And yet I can
'
t bring myself to regret it, because it feels good to tell the truth about
some
thing with so many lies being thrown around.

Noah gives the quietest of sighs. Whether it
'
s out of frustration or because he misses me
,
too
,
and doesn
'
t want to admit it
, I can
'
t tell.
"
What brought that on?
"

"
The sound of your voice.
"
I
flick off the bedside lamp,
then
curl up on my side with the phone cradled between my face and the pillow. Like this is any other night where Noah
would call
me from out of town and I
'
d
stay up late to talk to him. Where I
would keep
my voice low, because Sherry was
sleeping
in her bed across the room.
So much the same, and yet so different.
"
It makes me miss you. You and your bad jokes.
"

"
Hey, hey. My jokes? Awesome. Don
'
t judge me.
"

"
And your face. I miss your stupid face.
"
Because in that second, I can picture the exact expression he
'
s wearing. The crease between his brows that I would run my finger over to smooth out, the slight pout on his lips I would kiss away.

"
Briar
..."

"
Just
...
makes me miss you. That
'
s all.
"
I want to hear is that he misses me, too. That maybe, vampires and witches aside, he still looks at me and sees someone
special. His
Briar
.

After what feels like a hundred years of silence Noah says,
"
Your smile.
"

"
What?
"

"
I miss
...
your smile. That stupid, crooked one you get when you
'
re trying not to laugh at one of my awesome jokes.
"

My lips twist up despite
how
my eyes are glassing over.
"
Then come see it. Come see me.
"

This time, though, the silence isn
'
t so much thoughtful as uncertain.
"
I...
I should get going.
"