Holly Madison (Sins of the Father, 2) (19 page)

Emma rolls her eyes.  “The point is, if you still love him despite all that has happened and you can find it in your heart to forgive him and move on, you should give yourself that gift.  Let love in, because, darlin’, when you do, it’s the most incredible feeling in the world.  To love someone and for them to return that to you”—she smiles and shakes her head—“giving more than you get and him doing the same for you—“

“When did you become such a love-struck sap?” Olivia grunts.

“When your brother gave me all of the orgasms and knocked me up,” Emma returns.

“Lulululululululululululululu!”

Emma and I laugh while Olivia covers her ears.

“How did this happen to me?  Two of my besties both ending up with my brothers.  It’s gross.  I mean, okay, I love it.  Don’t get me wrong.  But ewww.”

I bite my lip to attempt to silence the giggle that is threatening.  “I’m not with your brother,” I remind her.

“I think you should go to his house wearing nothing by a coat and a smile, get the business, and all will be right with the world,” Emma speaks up as if I hadn’t said a word.

“The business?  Really, Em?” I ask.

“You know.”  She wiggles a brow and then jerks her head in Olivia’s direction whispering loudly, “That one doesn’t like to hear us talk about orgasms with her brothers.”

Olivia tosses her hands in the air, at the same time throwing her head back and staring at the ceiling, clearly exasperated.

Emma throws me a grin. 

I am not going to show up at Tristan’s house and give him the business.  Or am I? 
Shit.

“Look, I’m a home bitch.  You’re a home bitch.  We’re all home bitches here,” Emma says, lifting a hand and pointing between the three of us.  “It is my duty as a home bitch to lead you in the right direction.  I would never steer you wrong, especially in love.  I’m going to tell you that I know for a fact that Tristan is in it to win it.  He doesn’t just love you, girl.  He
looooooves
you.  He loves you the way a man loves a woman when he realizes he can’t live without her.  That all-consuming, heartwarming, soul-crushing kinda love.  The kind you need more than your next breath.

My heart skips a beat—or maybe two—at her words. 

“I felt that way about Braden the first go-around and I gave it up.  But that pull was there.  I couldn’t deny it any more than he could.  I see that in Tristan when he looks at you.  When he talks about you, there is a light in his eyes that was otherwise dim.  He has issues, but, honey, so do you.  You held on to that secret about your father all this time.  Need I remind you how unhealthy
that
was?”

No, she certainly does not.

“Now, you have an outlet.  Help him through his issues while he helps you through yours.  Trust me, you do this and you’re going to see this thing between the two of you explode.  In a good way.  I did it and so can you.  It’s your turn, doll.  You put yourself out there and got burned in the process.  I get that.  Now, he is doing the same thing.  He’s on the ledge, ready to jump, and I think you need to be the one to catch him.” Emma leans across the couch, placing her hand on my knee.  “I promise you on the home bitch code of conduct that I would never send you down the wrong path.”

“It’s true.  She would never lead you astray.  Go for it, chica.  I just don’t want to see you hurt.  I also don’t want to see your squander this time.  You gotta live in the moment, yo!  All craziness aside, be cautious.  If you want this with him, you have all of the information you need to make that choice.  It won’t be easy, but take a shot at it.  No regrets.”

Classic Olivia.  God, I love her.

“She’s right, hun.  From what I have gathered, you love that man.  Don’t sit on it and not make a move.  You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.  I do.  Every day, I wish that I had done something sooner instead of wasting and losing so much precious time with Braden.  Don’t let the love of a lifetime slip through your fingers.”

These girls make a compelling case, which scares the shit out of me.  Am I really going to take that leap again?  Risk my heart?  Emma gives me a reassuring squeeze of the knee and a smile. 

“Well, he is a pretty awesome lay.”  I shrug, taking another sip of wine.

Olivia throws her hands in the air and slaps them down on the couch beside her.  “Really?”

Emma giggles, shaking her head.

“Really.  He gives amazing—“

“Lulululululululululululululululululu!”

It is my turn to get a round of shots for the girls and Curtis.  Tonight, we are dressed to the nines.  It is what Olivia calls “dresses, drinks, and debauchery, yo!”  I have on a short, red dress that fits me like a glove, and I look damn good in it.  Olivia and Emma are both in their LBDs—little black dresses.  Emma is showing off her large baby bump.  Charlena is wearing an array of colors with a low neckline and proclaiming, “These double Ds need some air, honey.”  The girl likes to stand out.  Curtis opted for a suit as always.  He always looks amazing.  It’s too bad that he is gay.  One of god’s cruel jokes on women.

Holts has a healthy crowd, but it is a little after eight o’clock, which means that it’s right after happy hour, when the big rush has already died down for the evening.  I walk to the bar.  The bartender asks what I want, and I yell to him over the other patrons and music from the jukebox, “Four Fireballs and another round of beers.  Oh, and a water for the pregnant chick!”  As he begins lining up the shot glasses, I peer over at our table and watch in horror as Braden, Juice, and Tristan take seats with the others.  “No, wait!  Five Fireballs.”  This calls for two shots.  I need some serious liquor flowing through me to get me through this. 

“Honey, Tristan’s here,” Emma says, appearing beside me. 

I look at her then over my shoulder to the table.  “Yeah, I saw him come in,” I respond with a slightly irritated sting in my voice. 

Emma’s face goes gentle.  “I know that you’re still trying to find it in your heart to forgive him, but I am telling you now.  He has paid for being an asshole to you.  He is still paying for it with the loss of your baby.” 

I flinch as if she’d slapped me in the face. 

“I’m sorry to be so harsh, and if I could take that away from you, I would.” 

I know she would.  I nod once and turn to see Tristan staring at me.

“I know that you don’t get it right now, but he is hurting too.  I think that, even when his head wasn’t right, his heart still belonged to you and that baby.” 

I turn my eyes from Tristan and train them back on Emma.

“Honey, I know that you’re getting tired of hearing it, but that man over there?  He is in love with you.” 

At her words, a lump forms in my throat.  I swallow then take a deep breath.

“Do you want to go?  If you want to go, we’ll go,” Emma offers. 

That’s Em.  She says that I am the one who always looked out for others when, in reality, she’s the one who does that.  I was just making it up to her last year when she finally needed someone.  I have no doubt that, if I say yes to leaving, she would run right over to that table, gather her belongings, and tell them that all we were rolling out, but I can’t do that. 

I pick up one of my Fireballs and sigh.  “We can stay for a few more drinks.  Besides, Olivia would be crushed if we cut dresses, drinks, and debauchery short.” I focus my attention on the shot in my hand. 

“Whatever you want, hun, but Holly?” 

I look back to her and she resumes talking. 

“He regrets the way he treated you and not being there for you when you found out that you were pregnant.  It’s written all over his face that he feels responsible for the miscarriage.  Please don’t let him go on thinking that he deserves to hold on to that for the rest of his life.”

She is right.  If I go on letting Tristan think that he was responsible for the miscarriage, then I would be doing wrong by him.  I can’t do that to him.  It isn’t fair.

Emma’s hand slides along my shoulder and she leans in close.  “Whatever you need, hun.  I got you.” 

I lean into her while the bartender finishes pouring our round.  We load the drinks onto a tray and I carry them back to our table.  My eyes meet Tristan’s, which look guarded yet warm.  I feel a flutter in the pit of my stomach.  God, I’ve missed him so much.  He has looked great since he came back from Charlotte.  He has gotten leaner and stronger if that’s even possible.   The best part is that he looks healthy.

I set the tray of drinks on the table and serve the ladies and Curtis.  Tristan stands, moves around the table, and pulls out my chair, motioning for me to take a seat.  I glance around the table, taking in our friends, who were also taking us in.  Braden quickly stares at the beer in front of him, picking at the label, Juice moves his eyes to the ceiling, and Curtis whips his head around, looking over his shoulder at the wall.  Olivia ducks under the table while Charlena declares, “Lawwwwd, here we go!”  Emma is smiling from ear to ear.

I roll my eyes.  “Thank you,” I say. 

Then his eyes light up and the smile on his face can only be described as pure elation.  I have never seen him look so beautiful.  Yes, beautiful is the only word that comes to mind. 

Even though I got sideswiped by the unexpected appearance of Tristan, this evening is going well.  Everyone seems to be having a good time.  The ladies are laughing—Charlena is the main reason why as always—and the boys look like they wouldn’t rather be anywhere else.

I stole glances at Tristan on occasion during one of Charlena’s rants and caught him watching me.  The first couple of times, he looked away the second I saw him.  After that, he quit pretending and flat-out stated at me when I’d catch him.  Then he would smile.  He looks handsome in his close-fitting black tee, dark jeans, and boots. 

The Fireballs are being shot and the fun has begun.  I look around at our table.  Everyone is talking, laughing, or singing.  Olivia is singing loudly to the song on the jukebox and dancing in her chair with her arms in the air. 

I smile, lean into Emma, and announce, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

I get up and walk down the hall that leads me to my desired location.  Halfway to the bathroom, I feel movement behind me.  I go to turn, but I am overpowered by a large body.  I start to scream, but a hand covers my mouth and I am yanked into the solid form as an arm grips me around my waist.  Whoever it is walks us out the back door to the alleyway.  The door closes behind us and my eyes shift around rapidly, taking in my surroundings.

The streetlamp illuminates the parking lot.  There are two dumpsters and old empty kegs stacked against the wall of the building.  This is the spot where they hold Rally in the Alley.  It is also where Emma was attacked by Delgado before he was sent back to jail.

“You scream, I shoot you,” he croons in my ear. 

My body trembles and I nod my head, letting him know that I understand.  In a nanosecond, I find my back against the brick wall and a big, scary man with his forearm at my throat.  I try to get free to no avail. 

“Your daddy sent me to convey a message.”

Of course this has to do with my father.  My heart is beating painfully against my chest as I struggle against the scary man.  I am clearly no match.  He has a good few inches on me and at least two hundred pounds. 

“Stop struggling, little girl, and listen.” 

At his words, I do as I’ve been told.

“Listen good.  You’re going to keep your mouth shut and not do anything stupid that might sway any decision that could result in your old man not getting his freedom.”

Is he serious right now?
  My father sent this man to threaten his own daughter.   My body is pulled forward and slammed back.  My head bounces and cracks against the wall.  I moan out in pain. 

“I don’t think you heard me and I don’t like to repeat myself.”

“What makes him think that I hold any power to be able to do any such thing?  I’m just a paralegal.”

“I don’t give a shit what you are.”  His forearm presses deeper into my throat, threatening to cut off my air supply.

Something in me snaps and my survival instinct takes over.  I take my heel and stomp the top of his foot.  Scary Man cries out in pain, releasing me, and I run.