Home by Nightfall (10 page)

Cole waited and then prompted, “Still?”

“The French are hardy people—at least the ones I knew. I’m betting they’ll turn those barren fields back into productive land again.”

“The farm where you lived—you said an old widow woman took you in?”

Absently running a hand over the horse’s silky mane, he pictured Véronique at the kitchen table, pounding the daylights out of a mound of bread dough, saw her working hard in the field. She was a strong, spirited woman. “No, not an old widow. Véronique Raineau has never been married. She’s determined to hang on to her bombed-out house and scrubby piece of farmland. It was all she had left after her brothers and father were killed in the
war. She’s a stubborn Frenchwoman but she has a good heart. I hope she’s all right by herself.”

Cole gave him a speculative look.

Riley shrugged. “She saved my life. I can’t remember much else, but I’m not likely to forget that.” Or see her again, he thought. Véronique was in France; his wife was here. He knew only slightly more about her than he did himself. That had to change.

Just as Cole was about to turn his horse, the clouds parted long enough to let Riley catch a glimpse of something at the base of a rock highlighted by the lowering sun. “Hey, wait a minute.”

“What?”

With clumsy difficulty, Riley dismounted Kuitan and stumped over to look at the object. He pried it loose with a pocketknife and brushed the dirt off on his pants leg.

Cole jumped down and looked at the rock in Riley’s palm. It was about the size of a bird’s egg. “Oh, hey it’s a broken geode. Pretty, too, with all that crystal inside. You’ve got a good eye.”

The outside of the geode was bumpy, brown, and unremarkable, but inside it was a wonder of crystal sparkling in the sunlight.

“I’m surprised we found it around here. They usually come from the other side of the Cascades.”

Riley reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief to clean it up. “It’s not a crown jewel, but maybe Susannah will like it.”

Cole smiled. “I’ll bet she will.”

That night after dinner Susannah carried her laundry basket upstairs to put away everyone’s clean clothes while Riley was in the kitchen reading. Shaw was snoring in his rocker in the parlor, raising a racket loud enough to keep everyone awake within two miles. She had lit the hall lamp and the one in her own room.

She hadn’t been this lonely since her childhood. Even when Riley left for the war, Cole had still lived here, her father-in-law hadn’t been quite as insufferable as he was now—or maybe she hadn’t recognized that he was—she’d still had Amy Layton, Jessica’s sister, as a friend, and Tanner and the boys had eaten their meals at the table. The boys still ate with them but they never stayed long after, and they’d gone back to spending most nights in the bunkhouse with Tanner.

Now everything was different.

She could see the bunkhouse windows from the bedroom and the lamplight that gave them a welcoming glow. She felt locked out of there, even though she held the key.

Sighing, she lifted the basket and walked to Riley’s bedroom to put his shirts away. A long, broad triangle of light fell across the floor, letting her find her way easily.

It was a bachelor’s room—as plain and unadorned as a monk’s cell, with the exception of the quilt on the bed and her picture in
its tarnished silver frame on the nightstand. She picked up the frame and paused to look at the image. The photograph wasn’t that old and yet she felt as if she bore very little resemblance to the woman who had sent her husband to war with this tucked in his breast pocket. She heard the sound of Riley’s progress on the stairs—
step-thump, step-thump
—and hastily replaced the picture. She was just leaving his room when he reached the top of the steps.

“Oh—I just went in to deliver your clean shirts.” She felt as if she’d been caught at some crime, or at least in an embarrassing position.

He smiled and nodded, looking down at the floor with a sheepish expression. “I found something for you while I was out.”

She smoothed her skirt with her hands, suddenly feeling awkward too. He reached into his pocket and pulled out something he kept closed in his fist.

“It’s not much, but it was by merest chance that I saw it. The light was just right, almost as if the sun wanted me to find this. I washed it off outside under the pump spout.” He moved toward her into the hall while maintaining his distance. She backed up as well and stood under the hall lamp. He gave her a brief grin. “You’ll have to come closer if you want to see it.”

Susannah felt kind of silly but also vaguely uneasy. She didn’t like these kinds of games. “It’s not a frog, is it? I hate frogs and I’d be really angry if—sometimes those boys bring in—”

He put up his other hand to stop her. “It’s
not
a frog or a bug or anything like that. Come on. If you come closer I’ll show it to you.”

She gave him a sidelong glance, trying to figure out what he was up to. Well, really, what harm could he do? She took just one step closer, so she could still jump back if he was teasing her.

“Closer…”

Another step.

“One more.”

“Oh, all right.” She stood before him. “All right, let’s see.”

He opened his palm and showed her the geode. “I thought it was pretty and that you might like it. Anyway, I didn’t want to come home empty-handed after I’d told you I’d bring you a present. It would look better if it were polished, but it’s smooth.”

She smiled, captured by its beauty. “It
is
pretty.”

“Come downstairs and I’ll make coffee for us.”

“
You’ll
make coffee?”

He raised his chin in feigned indignation. “I am capable of some things. I know where everything is kept—I’ve watched you often enough to learn.”

“I didn’t think anyone paid attention to what I do.” She paused, then added, “I didn’t mean to sound sorry for myself. I’m just used to the routine and so is everyone else.”

“I probably was, but I’m not anymore. I know much less about you than you do about me. Come downstairs.”

She looked toward her bedroom and caught a last glimpse of the rose-painted lamp Tanner had given her. “All right.”

Back in the kitchen Susannah sat at Riley’s urging and watched as he moved around the room, using his cane but still managing well. He was dressed in a white band-collar shirt and a brown wool vest and wore black twill pants. She could almost see the man she remembered: tall, slim, pulling her with an irresistible call to all that was female within her. He looked the same, but…he wasn’t. The passion she once knew was missing.

Now and then one of Shaw’s window-rattling snores would intrude on the low-lit intimacy of the kitchen. Susannah did her best to suppress a sigh but wasn’t entirely successful.

Lifting his chin in the general direction of the parlor, Riley said, “He’s a handful, I imagine.”

“Your imagination can’t begin to do justice to the reality,” she replied tartly.

When the coffee was on the stove, he came to the table and sat down with her. “I was wondering—I know it sounds like an odd question—”

“What?”

“How did we meet?” he asked, not looking at her.

“Oh.” She was pulled back in time to a part of her life that was not the happiest. At least not until she met him. “It was at the grange dance in town. I was serving punch. You kept hanging around me and finally convinced me to step out on the floor with you.”

“I wouldn’t be able to do that now, would I? The lame amnesiac.” He drummed his fingers on the table and flexed his hand, once.

Susannah watched that hand and held her breath, hoping she hadn’t said the wrong thing. That was a danger with Riley—it was so easy to say the wrong thing and suddenly his temper would erupt. Or he would sink into melancholia or have one of his spells. “It doesn’t matter. I haven’t danced in years.”

The moment passed. “What about your family? Do they live nearby?”

This time it was Susannah who retreated. He’d once known all of this. She wasn’t eager to return to those years and dredge up those memories. “No, I don’t have any family left. And I grew up in Corbett.” She pointed in an easterly direction.

“How long did I court you?”

She got up to pull the coffee off the burner and bring cups to the table. “About six months after we met, you proposed, and we
were married before the year was out. You brought me to here to live with Cole and your father.”

“And we were happy?”

She gave him a wistful smile. It was so different then. “Oh, yes, we were very happy. If not for the war…”

“Did we share the room I have now?”

Still on her feet, Susannah felt her cheeks burn. Since returning, he had not once been subjected to the kind of badgering he was putting her through. At least her conscience made it feel like badgering. She would have refused to answer, but the problem was she couldn’t think of a reason that wouldn’t reveal more than she wanted to. “Yes.”

“But not now.”

Oh, God, this was too much. She clenched her back teeth before responding, and lied. “I just thought that it might be better if we—if you have your room to yourself until you get your bearings.”

“Maybe.” He stood and reached into his pocket for the geode. He held it up to the light, then brought it close to her face. “It goes with your coloring.” He took her wrist to put the rock in her hand, but didn’t release her. She lifted her eyes to his and looked into those hazel depths. His tilted his head and leaned closer to her. Before she realized what was happening, his kiss, soft, urgent, warm, was on her lips and tasted of coffee. He pulled her closer and pressed the length of her body to his own. His arousal was unmistakable against her belly.

A ghost of what they’d once been crossed her mind here in his arms, his lips on hers. But it wasn’t the same.

Pulling back, he murmured, “Maybe you should move back to your husband’s bed and let us get to know each other again.”

Automatically, she looked out the dark windows to the bunkhouse across the yard until she realized all that he meant, and she panicked. If only Tanner hadn’t left her alone with this. And yet, she wasn’t sure what he could say to Riley to make things better. If anything, his involvement might only create more problems for the troubled Riley.
She
could use his support—but he had withdrawn from her. “Riley, I don’t think that would be a good idea yet. Even though we were—are husband and wife, you were gone for three years. That’s longer than we were mar—longer than we lived together. You’re a different man than I remember and you said yourself you know even less about me.”

He withdrew as if she’d thrown a bucket of cold well water on him, and he sighed. “I suppose you might be right. We need to approach this differently. It’s just that…”

“What? What is it?”

He sat down again, heavily this time. “The nightmares. It’s strange—I didn’t have them while I was living in France. They started when I got here.”

“Nightmares about the war?”

“I’m not sure. I guess so. They don’t make any sense, but,” his voice dropped to a low mumble, “they’re horrible.”

Once again, hearing the trials of this poor man made Susannah’s heart clench. She didn’t know much about shell shock and it occurred to her that she’d better learn—fast. There must be something they could do to ease Riley’s suffering. It was the humane thing to do at the very least. She’d have to check with Jessica and see if she’d learned anything about the doctor in Portland.

She sat across from him. “Maybe a night-light would help. I could leave the lamp burning in the upstairs hall and you could leave your door open. There’s no one here but the three of us. At least that way you’d have something tangible to focus on instead
of the black of a moonless night. And you aren’t alone. I’m right in the next room.”

He gave her a long, steady look and then added a slight smile. “Thank you, Susannah.” He leaned forward and pecked her on the cheek.

• • •

The memory of that kiss and being in Riley’s arms again, however briefly, tortured Susannah for the rest of the night. She tossed and turned, feeling trapped between Riley, who’d once had the right to her heart and body, and Tanner, who now had neither, even though she was married to him. Finally, after what was more like a series of short naps than a full night’s sleep, she gave up and got dressed. There was always work to do around here, and she plunged into it, hoping it would distract her from this odd purgatory.

Riley and Shaw came downstairs, and she gave them a breakfast of ham, eggs, and toast. She felt Riley’s eyes on her, and whenever she glanced at him he smiled.

She washed dishes, made beds, dusted, and pushed the carpet sweeper through the parlor.

She was in the kitchen when Cole came in a few hours later with Riley behind him.

“I need to stop at the blacksmith shop and see how Jeremy is doing. Pop was in there the other day, meddling with the jobs I’d given him to do, and the kid was stuck between dealing with a cranky old bastard and me, the soul of courtesy and understanding.”

“Oh, heavens, I think I’d better find my waders and a shovel,” she laughed while she put up two apple pies at the table. She was
tired and smudged with flour, but the whole kitchen smelled wonderful.