Hot Zone (32 page)

I laughed. “Sorry, but that is sort of funny.”

“Yes, it is,” he agreed.

We’d reached the house now. Tucker stopped outside the door and pulled me into his arms and kissed me. “Madde, I just keep thinking that this really can’t be happening. That you’ll come to your senses or be embarrassed of me or, I don’t know, decide you forgive Gabriel after all.”

I looked at the door. The house always had so many people in it. It would be hard to be alone. And if we just kept disappearing into Mom and Dad’s room, well, that would be a little obvious. I sat on the step and he sat next to me, his arm around my shoulders keeping me warm. “I can’t tell you what will happen in the future, Tucker. If it makes you feel better, I’m a little worried too. You’ve put me on this pedestal, and I keep wondering when you’ll realize that I’m just a rather confused and pathetic girl.”

He moved me until I was sitting in his lap. I realized I really liked it that he was so much bigger than I was. I felt protected and safe. He was looking at my wrist. “Madde, do me a favor and eat something occasionally, would you? I know girls always say you can’t be too thin, but you’ve lost some weight since I met you, and I thought you were slim then.”

My smile evaporated. I looked at my wrist in his hand. It did look bony and fragile. I felt a stab of apprehension. I admit that what was left for us to eat didn’t do much for my appetite. For him to say this so soon after I’d admitted that I was worried he’d find out I wasn’t anywhere near perfect—was he trying to tell me I wasn’t what he’d thought I was? I didn’t know what to say.

He must have noticed how still I’d become. “Madde? Did I say something wrong?” He sounded truly worried, so maybe I was overreacting.

“No, I’m fine,” I lied.

“Look at me,” he said, his tone sounded like he wouldn’t let this go.

I looked up at him trying to look nonchalant. I must not have done so well. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean that you aren’t beautiful and perfect.”

“I’m not perfect, Tucker. And if you think I am, you’re just going to be disappointed.” Even to my own ears, I sounded sad.

He pulled me tighter against him. “I’m so sorry. I’m not saying much right today.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, let me try this again. I have been living here in the house with you for quite a while now, and I’ve seen you crabby and sad and happy and angry and bored. I’ve seen you just after you get up, and stumbling to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I know you aren’t technically perfect, but that’s not how I meant it. In high school I had a wild crush on you, but I didn’t really know you then. I didn’t have much of an imagination in those days, but whatever I could have imagined wouldn’t hold up to the real you. The whole package. The longer I was around you, the more I realized you are everything I ever wanted. I didn’t think, then, I had a chance in hell of ever having you see me as more than a nuisance, or maybe, if I was lucky, a friend.”

I could hear the truth in his words.

“And when we were friends, I told myself it was ridiculous to want more than that. But I always did. When I saw other women, I would compare them to you, and they would all fall short. I don’t know when the crush changed over into love, but that’s where I am, and you’re not going to change that, no matter what you do.”

I didn’t know what to say. I had never had anyone feel like that about me.

“But I want you to know that if you hadn’t ever seen me as more than a friend, I would have always loved you and wanted you to be happy. I’m sorry I reacted so badly when you came back from the cities with news of Gabriel. If he’d have made you happy, I wouldn’t have said anything against that, but you weren’t happy. You were fighting a pull that you hated while the pull itself acted on you to want him.” He stopped abruptly. “It still makes me mad to think of how you put yourself in relation to him—he didn’t deserve you.

“Maybe I was simply jealous. I knew, though, when you explained to me you were worried about Catfish, if you wanted Gabriel in charge of us I needed to support you. If you had come back saying you two were getting married and having ten children, well, I’d have wished you well and meant it—
if
that was what you wanted, I wanted you to have it.” Suddenly he grinned. “Okay, maybe I should say that ninety percent of me wanted you to have whoever you wanted. I’m probably at least ten percent pig and that part wanted you for myself.”

“Tucker, you are so sweet to me.”

“At least you don’t look so sad right now.” He shrugged. He deliberately picked up my hand and turned it so he could press a kiss to my wrist. “I should have said I worry about you. I want you to take care of yourself, and you always put everyone else first. Maybe my job can be to look after you.” He pressed another kiss to my wrist, and this time he let his tongue gently touch my skin. “Will you forgive my poorly thought-out words?”

“Wow, yes,” I said, suddenly feeling warm.

He smiled, a fabulous male smile that said he knew he’d affected me. He took my other wrist and did the same thing, and I gulped. He was going to kiss me again, I could tell, and I was closing my eyes when I heard Meri’s voice not far away. She must be in the screened in porch. “You two had better be keeping it clean, cause I’m coming out.” She came out and gave me a wink. “Hey, I was thinking, Madde, you should try to take a nap or something. I mean, you were up late last night, and you know what a party animal I am at night. I wouldn’t want you falling asleep over dinner.”

I gave her a look, wondering what she was up to. Meri was not a party animal.

“Anyway, I thought Phil and I and maybe Luis would go out to that hotel you mentioned to see if it would work for us to move into. We were talking about how it is really getting crowded here at the house. I don’t know if it’s big enough for all of the people in Catfish, but some should be able to crash there. I don’t know who else will come with us. Probably most of them—this affects them as well. The house will be practically empty. Good time for you to nap.” She smiled.

I smiled back. “That is such a good idea, Meri.”

I slid out of Tucker’s lap and stood up, giving Meri a hug. “You’re a sweetie. I owe you one,” I said quietly.

She whispered back, “It wasn’t totally selfless. Cal will be here soon, and I can’t imagine trying to get some privacy with all the people here.”

I turned and gave Tucker a smile. “So, you up for a nap?” I asked with as much innocence as I could pour into it.

“I am a little tired,” he said. “I’ll be right behind you.” I wondered at that, especially when I saw him lean close to Meri to whisper to her. I knew they were friends, they had been ever since the terrible night with Eddy, but I couldn’t help feeling a little twinge of jealousy. When he hugged her, I turned away, not sure what my face showed.

Meri went past me, oblivious, into the main room. “Nick, see? I told you it wasn’t necessary to go out and stare at her. You knew where she was, and that she was with Tucker. So either come with us to see the hotel, so you can report it all back to Gabriel, or find a movie or something to watch. Hey, you don’t cook, do you? You could make dinner.”

I hid a smile and walked past him into my room. Tucker came to the door with a questioning look on his face. I pulled some clothes out of the drawers and grabbed my pillow and bathroom items (I had started keeping my stuff in a little bag so I could use whatever bathroom was free). I said casually, “You might want to go get a few things if you plan to stay in the master bedroom with me.”

He looked surprised but then grinned. “I’ll do that.”

“See you there.” I stretched, and his eyes widened as my top rode up to show a good part of my midriff. “I am so ready for a nap,” I said wickedly, walking past him and down the hall to my parent’s room. “I’ll be waiting for you.” I called over my shoulder, smiling as I heard him moving quickly.

He was walking into my parent’s room and closing and locking the door before I’d even put my bathroom stuff away. He tossed his clothes on the La-Z-Boy in the corner and came directly to me. I’d barely turned when he took my face between his big hands and kissed me, hard. I found myself kissing him back rather mindlessly.

He pulled back and looked into my eyes. “I love you, Madde,” he said, not giving me a chance to respond as he kissed me again. He picked me up and tumbled with me onto the big bed. He kissed me until I was panting. He moved to my neck, gently nibbling at it. “I want to see you,” he said softly, but with such desire filling his voice I shivered. He moved so I could sit up, and I took my sweatshirt in my hands ready to pull it off over my head.

Tucker put his hands over mine and pulled them away. “I want to undress you.”

For some reason I was a bit anxious. “It’s okay, you don’t have to do that.”

He considered me for a moment. “I know I don’t.” He kissed me again, and eventually I forgot my groundless anxiety. He pulled off my shirt over my head and a low groan escaped him. He continued undressing me while I tried to get his clothes off at the same time, the two of us bumping into each other in our rush to have the other naked. Tucker with clothes was amazingly attractive; Tucker without clothes made me simply stare at him.

He realized I was staring and laughed, low. “I never thought you might want to see me without clothes on as well.”

“You … I mean you’re so …” I swallowed, trying to bring some sort of coherency to my words. My face was burning, and I gave up the fight to express myself verbally and simply pressed myself up against him. He pulled me down on top of him on the bed, and I gave up trying to think at all.

Chapter 19: I Can See You

My two days vacation were over as of tonight, and tomorrow I would have to be in touch with Gabriel again and start doing some of the things I’d said I would do. There was a part of me that just wanted to tell him that he’d have to be a despot all by his lonesome, but somehow I thought that might be the straw that broke the camel’s back. He could visit; it was my fear. I’d had two nightmares where he visited and turned everyone I loved into Gabriel-drones. I thought I might just kill him if he did that. Of course, I’d have a couple hundred thousand people after me, but it might just be worth it.

Tucker and I had been together just about every second of the last two days. He’d told me he’d help me as much as he could, but I repeated often that I had to make sure Gabriel never talked to him. He understood, although he didn’t take it as seriously as I thought he should.

We were sort of hiding out in the screened-in porch. We were having a beautiful stretch of nearly summer temperatures, and with a blanket around us we were quite comfortable even without the heater on. Of course we were snuggling together kissing some, talking some, and just enjoying what the future held. Everything looked rosy for us.

Several people were still in the living room watching something on TV. It should tell you right there how much I cared for Tucker when I didn’t even know or care what was on TV. I hadn’t said the words yet; somehow they kept catching in my throat. But he knew I cared deeply. And we were both happy with how things were going.

So when we saw a shape come to the door of the porch, backlit by the lights in the living room, we didn’t think anything of it. Everyone in the house knew we were a couple now, so it came as no surprise to anyone. I couldn’t tell who it was right away, and Tucker was nuzzling my neck so I was understandably a little distracted. The shape just stood there, in the doorway, staring at us. Then it screamed in fury.

I shrank back into the sofa as if I wanted to flow right through it to the other side. The screamer slapped her hand against the lights and they filled the room. I blinked, still shocked at the scream, and Tucker sat up, looking at our intruder.

“You bitch!” A female voice snarled. I automatically put up my arms as if I were under attack. The words were dripping with hatred.

Tucker identified her before I did. “Karen? What—” But he didn’t get any further.

“You told me it wasn’t like that between the two of you!” Her breathing was heavy. She took two big steps that put her nearly in the middle of the room. I could see other people at the door, unsure what to do.

Tucker had stood, partially in front of me. Karen was a tall girl, and I errantly thought that they looked good together. She continued, “You said you were just friends! I knew what was in your head! You loved me! You didn’t want her—you thought she was a prima donna. I can read minds!”

Tucker seemed stunned into silence. I didn’t blame him. This was like some kind of nightmare. I’d known Karen liked Tucker. I mean, I was the one who told him she’d been watching him. I didn’t know what else had happened, but now I remembered the two of them holding hands, and she had cringed into him when she was afraid. Had I inadvertently poached? And what Karen said about me—is that how Tucker had seen me? Had he just decided to take what was offered two nights ago?

“I go and visit my sister, and you immediately make a move on her. How could you? You promised me!” She turned to me. “And you! You have to have everyone, don’t you? Gabriel, Tucker, probably every other man here as well. You think I can’t see that? You are a goddamned slut!”

I gaped. Meri had arrived from wherever she’d been and put her hand on Karen’s shoulder. “Karen, you don’t want to do this. Let’s go and …”

Karen grabbed gentle Meri’s hand and twisted it. Meri cried out in pain and that sound seemed to unfreeze Tucker. He sprang forward and grabbed Karen’s arm, forcing her to let Meri go. I went to Meri who was holding her arm to her chest, staring at Karen like she’d grown horns. Karen was struggling like mad, and Tucker had his hands full restraining her. Suddenly she went slack, as if she’d fainted. Tucker took her to the couch and laid her on it, checking her breathing as he shook his head.

“What was that?” he asked, bemused.

I had no idea and just shrugged, slowly shaking my head. Bodyguard Nick had been in, of all places, the bathroom when this had started, but had come running out just after the first scream. He hadn’t done anything to help us, though. I glared at him. “Some bodyguard you are! A crazy woman hurts Meri and you just stand there?”