Authors: Sandy Holden
Tags: #drama, #dystopia, #Steampunk, #biological weapons, #Romance, #scifi, #super powers
“Right. And oozing burning chemicals is the height of sanity,” I said.
She shrugged with a smile, conceding the point. She looked over at Tucker. “And to answer your question, yes, I think I was doing it again.” She looked back at me, explaining. “We don’t really know whether I’m dreaming it, or actually seeing something occurring in this time, but somewhere other than here.”
Mark, who had been quiet for some time, suddenly stood up. “Sorry, but this is getting too weird for me.” He turned on his heel and left the room.
Meri shrugged, unconcerned. “Anyway, this time I saw Cal.”
I froze at the name. A wave of fear rolled over me. I nearly grabbed Tucker’s hand but stopped myself in the nick of time. He put an arm around me. “Madde?”
“I’m fine.” My voice was sharper than I’d meant it to be. I hated this. I didn’t know what the hell it meant, and damn it I did not see the future!
Tucker looked a little taken aback. He pulled his arm away.
Meri was lost in her thoughts and hadn’t really registered my little snarly fit. “What do you see him doing?” My voice still sounded strange to my own ears—higher than usual, tense.
“I saw him crossing near one of the quarantine points. It’s absurdly easy to get through wherever he is—I think it’s maybe western Iowa or Nebraska? Anyway, they have the road blocked off, and razor wire in some areas, but he had a Jeep and just drove to a place where there was no wire yet and drove on through. He’s in the Hot Zone now.” She sounded excited.
He was in the Hot Zone, where Gabriel had told me the very air, ground and water were tainted. He’d get sick. I knew he would, but I had sworn to Gabriel I’d keep this secret. “Uh, what if he catches the illness from someone?”
Meri frowned at me. “No one has been sick for a long time.”
“Except Jacob.”
Tucker said in a voice that had an edge to it, “I wasn’t aware it had been determined he was suffering from the same illness we all got.”
I threw him a look, and he saw I’d kept that from him. “Uh, well, maybe it’s not.” I tried a casual laugh, but it came out sounding sick. “What do I know?” I looked at the floor.
Tucker said, that edge still in his voice, “Apparently more than you’re willing to share.”
I heaved a sigh. I’d already blown this one, so I might as well ‘fess up. “Well,” I started guiltily, “I was told when I was in the cities the doctors there thought it was the same illness.” I looked over at Tucker. His face was closed, and I couldn’t divine his thoughts.
Meri was still looking bothered. “How? Is it like strep throat where people can be carriers?”
I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. I felt Tucker’s eyes on me.
Meri yawned hugely. “I can’t deal with one more thing tonight. I’m sure Cal will be fine. He’s tough, and he knew what he was getting into. There’s no way he’d walk into this blind.” Her sunny look was back. “If no one has any objections, I’m going to take a couple of the pain pills I saw in the bathroom.”
I nodded distractedly. “Sure. Those were mine from when I had my wisdom teeth removed.”
Meri smiled. “That ought to put an end to any worrying I would do. And by morning, I might be seeing Cal!” Elated, she planted a kiss on my cheek then on Tucker’s. As she stood, she glanced at the porch. “Oh, I forgot about poison Karen. What are we going to do with her?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Tucker said soothingly. “Go to sleep. I’ll make sure she’s taken care of.”
Meri smiled at him. “You’re so great, Tucker. Better watch out, Madde, I might just steal him away from you.” She was obviously joking, but I felt a little jolt just the same.
She left, and the silence in the room deepened. I was looking down at my feet, avoiding whatever Tucker was thinking. He seemed content to wait me out, and I finally sat back and looked at him. “How are your hands?”
He looked at them. The blisters looked painful, but at least there didn’t seem to be more of them. “I’m fine.”
“Want some of those pain pills?” I offered.
“No.”
I looked over at the screened in porch. “What a night,” I said.
He sighed. “I’m sorry about that, Madde. I should have told her somehow, instead of letting her find out from someone else.”
I didn’t want to ask this, but did anyway. “You two were getting close?”
He shrugged. “I guess.” He looked at me squarely. “I think when you and I got together, it forced every other thought out of my head. It wasn’t right what I did to her.”
“What did you do?”
“She feels used, and maybe she was. I was trying to see if there could be anything between her and me, and maybe I did use her to help me get my mind off you and Gabriel.”
“But she seemed so furious!”
Tucker cleared his throat. “About what Karen said … I don’t know what she thinks she saw in my mind, but I can’t ever remember thinking you were a prima donna. Ever. If I did—”
“It’s okay. Wouldn’t be the first time someone accused me of being a princess. Besides, she’s told me before she can’t tell how much she’s getting from others and how much is her imagination.” I couldn’t help it if my voice sounded a little flat.
Tucker blew a little on his hands. “Do you think she’s losing it? Going crazy the way people did before?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. The problem is—she’s dangerous.”
“Only if she’s touched—it’s defensive, right? She didn’t attack anyone.”
“Uh, hello? She attacked Meri.”
“Meri touched her first. Maybe Karen considered it an attack.”
“You’re defending her,” I said in surprise. I hadn’t expected that, and it made me wonder how close the two of them had gotten. “After what she did to you?” I gestured at his painful hands.
“I don’t think she meant to.”
I just looked at him, not understanding all this compassion.
He shifted uncomfortably.
I thought about how everything had been so perfect just a few hours ago. I wanted it back. But, of course, things never go back, only forward. I said softly, “I’ll let you decide what we do about her, okay? I won’t argue with you about it.” I was going to have to repeat that to myself often, because the arguments were already rising up into my throat.
He nodded.
I cleared my throat. “Are you sorry you … I mean, that we are together?”
“No!” His answer was immediate. He lifted a hand, thought better of it and then lowered it impatiently. “Never.”
“Oh.” I nodded. “Good.”
“I wasn’t thinking that at all. I was actually wondering how to ask you something without coming off as a jerk.”
I smiled a little, sliding my hand up his arm to his neck. “I doubt you could be a jerk if you tried.”
“Humph. Ask Karen about that.” He shook that thought off. “No, I can see you know a whole lot more than you’re telling. I don’t want you to betray any confidences,” his voice tightened as he said that, “but why are you so sure Cal will get sick?”
“Oh, uh …” I stared at him, stalling.
His face abruptly softened, but there was something in his eyes that made me think he was still upset and possibly hurt. “Don’t worry about it. If you can’t tell me, you can’t tell me.” He shrugged and smiled. “You do think he’ll get sick though?”
I nodded.
“Can I ask you something else?” He sounded tentative. No wonder. I was snapping at him every other sentence.
“Yes, of course.” I tried to shake off my suddenly prickly feelings.
“I know you don’t like to talk about it when you get those, oh, I don’t know what to call them—flashes? Where you see or get feelings about future events.”
I stood up and said, “I’m getting something to drink. Want anything?”
Tucker stood as well and followed me into the kitchen. I bustled around, putting away towels and cleaning up water that had been splashed around during our latest crisis. Tucker watched me, and I became more and more self-conscious. Finally, he chuckled. I threw him a glance. “What’s so amusing?”
“You are.” He came closer to me, crowding me into the corner where two counters met.
I looked at him warily. “What are you doing?”
He ignored my question, smiling at me. “What happened to your sudden thirst?”
“My what? Oh.” I shrugged, feeling stupid and cowardly. “I forgot.”
He nuzzled my hair, and I felt a hot wave of emotion for him. “Do me a favor?” he asked.
I nodded, sliding my arms around his waist. His arms were around my neck, but his hands were held clear. “Come and bandage my hands with some gauze. They seem dry enough, and I’m really tired of holding them up like I’m a doctor all sterile and ready for surgery.”
I nodded, going up to plant a kiss on his chin. “I can do that.”
We went back out, and I found the gauze and soon he looked like he was wearing mittens. He’d decided to take a little ibuprofen, and I’d brought some out for him. He swallowed the pills and reached out and clumsily took my hand with his. “Come on, it’s late.”
I nodded, hoping we could just skip the whole discussion of my disputed ability to see the future. We went into the master bedroom and were soon in bed, my head on his shoulder as he lay on his back. “Madde? What have you seen?”
I knew he’d bring it up. “Can’t we just sleep?” I asked. I sounded whiny, even to myself.
“In a bit,” he said, turning on his side to see me better. “I know you saw something tonight, and I thought . . .” he cleared his throat, but didn’t take his eyes off mine, “you might have seen or felt something the first night we were together. There seemed to be a moment where you looked almost frightened.”
I thought of the sense of foreboding I’d had both times. I couldn’t tell him—he believed in my ability while I refused to. So I tried distraction. Instead of answering him, I kissed him. He kissed me back at first, but then he pulled away. “Is it that bad?” he asked softly.
“No, of course not. I just get scared of the possibilities—that’s all it is, honest.” I knew I was lying, but I didn’t want it to be a lie, I wanted it to be the truth so much I had to pretend it was. I was terrified if I told him of the sense of foreboding I’d had when I decided to be with him, he’d stay away from me just to keep me safe. It was ridiculous, and I wasn’t going to tell him.
He started to say something else, but I kissed him again, with desperate passion this time. My hands slid down his chest, and he groaned, giving in.
Chapter 20: Sun’s Up—Look Who’s Here
I was soundly asleep when I heard a dog start barking. I tried to roll over and ignore it until I realized Tucker was getting up and leaving the room. I suddenly remembered poor Hoover being left to guard Karen the toxic wonder. I stumbled out after him, barely remembering to grab one of his t-shirts that came down to mid thigh. By the time I got out to the screened-in porch, Tucker was already talking in a low voice to Karen. I moved closer quietly, not wanting to set Karen off. I don’t think Tucker even heard me.
“It was never like that, and if I gave you the impression it was, I’m really sorry,” he was saying in a soothing voice. Karen was staring wide-eyed at him, not seeming to notice the still-snarling dog not two feet away from her.
“But you … you said … what happened to your hands?” she asked, changing direction suddenly.
“See, somehow, Karen, you have something on you that burned Meri and I both. Do you see how your clothes are ragged around your hands?”
She stared at her hands, touching one palm with a finger of the other hand. “They’re all greasy and sticky. What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything. You don’t seem to be harmed by it, but it will hurt anyone else. Did you have contact with something caustic?”
“No.”
Tucker’s voice was soothing, and I thought of that as a voice he used with me. It gave me a pang to hear him use that gentle tone on Karen. “Don’t worry about it now, we’ll figure it out. Uh, you might want to wash it off, though. Like I said, if any of us come into contact with it, it burns us. Come on, let’s go in the kitchen, and I’ll turn on the water for you.” He turned and saw me standing there.
“Madde, go back to sleep,” he said in a quiet voice. My eyebrows rose. I was being sent off? I stepped back away from them as Karen stood up, noticing me. Her eyes seemed to flow right past me as if I didn’t exist and went back to Tucker. There was no way I was going to leave that toxic mind reader with Tucker. I’d stay back, but there was no way I was going back to bed.
Tucker ignored me as well until Karen turned her back on me. Then he indicated with his head that I should go back to the bedroom. I shook my head firmly. He looked annoyed.
He went with her into the kitchen. Hoover came to sit next to me, following as I crept after them. If she burned him again, I swear I was going to hit her with something. But what? I looked around and saw a two-foot tall bronze tiki that was next to a bookcase. I took it, liking the weight in my hand, and Hoover and I peeked into the kitchen.
Tucker was close to her, far too close for my piece of mind while she washed her hands. They were talking too quietly to be heard above the sound of the water. I gave Hoover a look that she apparently understood, since she turned back to Karen and bared her teeth silently. I rubbed her ears and she sighed, leaning against me.
I heard the water turn off and scampered back to the hall near our bedroom. Tucker helped Karen to the door and went out with her, closing the door behind them. I was briefly stymied. I couldn’t go out in his t-shirt and bare feet. Tucker had pulled on jeans and shoes, but had no shirt. Damn. I raced back to the bedroom and was pulling on jeans when I heard a car leave. I left the overlarge t-shirt on and ran to the front door, expecting to see Tucker there. But when I opened it, I didn’t see him at all. All I saw were the taillights disappearing into the dark. They were gone.
I went to the couch, finally deciding to text him. I sent this to his phone: Worried about u. Where r u? I sent the message and went back to get the rest of my clothes on. It was nearly dawn, and I could tell I was too agitated to sleep.
I made myself some toast, which I was too anxious to eat. I looked at my skinny wrists, briefly thinking I should tell Tucker that I tended to lose my appetite under stress, so he’d better just get used to the boniness. I threw more ingredients into the bread machines (we had two we ran several times a day—no one could get bread these days) and started them up. They clanked and mixed, making me feel like I’d accomplished something useful. I went back out and began to channel surf and wait.