How The Warrior Fell (Falling Warriors series Book 1) (51 page)

Leawyn’s tear dropped from her chin.

He swung his sword up, fire reflecting off the blade as he turned towards Xavier.

Leawyn closed her eyes, the world going silent. Her fingers released the fletching the second she opened her eyes. The arrow whistled through the air.

Mere moments.

Mere moments was all it took for Leawyn to kill her best friend. The arrow that pierced his heart mirrored the pain in hers.

“Xavier!” Leawyn’s bow tumbled out of her hand as she ran over towards Xavier’s prone body. She fell to her knees beside him, hands shaking as she pulled his head onto her lap.

“Xavier . . .” Leawyn whimpered. She let out a relieved sob when his tired brown eyes met hers.

“Leawyn . . .” Xavier breathed, his relief evident. “Asten—”

“He’s dead,” Leawyn said bluntly, giving Xavier a weak smile. “I took care of him.”

“I told you not to come back.”

Leawyn choked out a laugh. “Since when did I ever listen to you?” Leawyn sniffled.

“Never,” Xavier’s lip twitched with a start of smile before his face scrunched up in pain, clutching his side. They both tried not to pay attention the blood that was seeping through his fingers.

“Why?” Xavier whispered hoarsely. Leawyn tenderly smoothed back Xavier’s hair from his face, trying to ignore how shallow his breathing was. “Why did you kill him for me?”

“You shouldn’t talk,” Leawyn whispered, worry creasing her brow.

Xavier lifted his other hand, and Leawyn immediately grabbed it and pressed it against her cheek, squeezing gently.

“I need to know.” Xavier coughed, and Leawyn clutched his hand tighter with worry at how much blood he seemed to lose. His once bronzed skin was starting to pale. His eyes, which had looked at her with such intensity, were now becoming glossy and far away.

It terrified her.

“I couldn’t let him kill you. If anyone is going to kill you, it’s me.” Xavier’s lip quirked in humor at that.

Leawyn’s worry grew when a wave of pain compressed Xavier’s face. He was getting weaker. Each breath he took became more ragged than the next.

“You . . . should . . . go. Hide until it’s . . . over.”

Leawyn frowned. “I’m not leaving you,” she said absolutely. How could he even ask her to do that?

Xavier made a sound of frustration.

“I’m not asking you, Leawyn. I’m telling you. The battle—”

“I’m not leaving you again!” Leawyn snapped down at him. Leawyn softened her expression and her tone when she whispered, “I’m sorry.” She wasn’t apologizing for snapping at him.

Xavier’s thumb caught one of her tears as it brushed her cheekbone.

“It wasn’t your fault, Leawyn,” Xavier told her quietly.

“It is all my fault,” Leawyn said tearfully. “You asked me what I was hiding so many times. If only I’d told you sooner. I’m the reason this happened. This is
all
my fault. All the lives I’ve cost tonight . . . it’s my fault.”

“We all make mistakes. My biggest mistake is that I ever let you go.”

Leawyn sucked in a sharp breath at that admission, squeezing his hand tighter.

“You just deserved . . . so much better. I wanted the chance to do the right thing,” Xavier rasped out before he coughed, and Leawyn’s fear continued to mount at how weak he was getting.

“Do you still hate me?”

“No, I don’t hate you,” Leawyn cried. “I love you. I was just too scared to admit it.”

The relief and happiness reflecting on Xavier’s face should have made her happy, but it was the other look he had that made fear and anxiety grip her. He looked like he had everything he needed—before he gave up.

“Don’t you dare leave me,” Leawyn said fiercely. “Don’t you dare give up. We need you.
I
need you. I refuse to raise our child without you. You don’t get the luxury of dying.”

Xavier’s hand lifted, shaking as it traced her cheek and the tears running down her face in rivulets. His dark eyes traced her features, memorizing her face. “Our child,” Xavier repeated softly, a contentment entering his eyes at the knowledge.

“Xavier . . .” Leawyn jolted, panic splayed across her face. “Xavier!” she said urgently as his gaze grew dim.

His hand slowly dropped from her face, and his eyes closed.

“
Xavier!”

They didn’t open again.

“S
O YOU NEVER
betrayed Xavier? It was planned all along?” Leawyn asked, confused.

“Everything was planned.” Tristan met her eyes, and Leawyn could see the truth in them. “Xavier was never going to kill me the day I challenged him. The plan was for him to exile me, to give them an opening to make contact with me. We didn’t expect you to stop him.” Tristan smiled wryly. “Though, I’m sure that was a bonus for him.”

Leawyn blushed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry, Leawyn, but I couldn’t,” Tristan said, looking at her earnestly. “He made me promise. Xavier was the one who came up with the idea. He knew the only way to find out where they were hiding, and who the traitor was, was to use their plan against them.”

“Did Tyronian know?”

Tristan shook his head, a look of pain and regret clouding his face. “No,” Tristan said. “Xavier didn’t want me to tell him. He knew we were close, and that Tyronian wouldn’t have the right reaction when I challenged Xavier to that duel. It wouldn’t have made sense for him to just accept it and not try to stop me. His reaction had to be genuine.”

Leawyn’s heart hurt for Tristan. She knew they were close. It had to be hard for him to keep something like this from him.

“So you pretended to betray Xavier,” Leawyn said, understanding dawning. “You knew they would ask you to join them.”

Tristan nodded. “Once I was inside the ranks, I was able to find out who the traitor was so Xavier could take him out. But as you know, Xavier had already figured it out before I even had a chance to tell him.” Tristan’s lips quirked in amusement. “Then you escaped before I could warn Xavier of their plans to attack.”

“Why you?”

“Xavier knew it had to be someone important, otherwise they wouldn’t bother. It would make sense for it to be me, since things were already tense between us because. . . .” Tristan trailed off, and Leawyn knew the answer by his look.

“Because of me,” Leawyn said despondently. “Things were tense because of me.”

Tristan hesitated, which was telling enough. A humorless laugh escaped Leawyn. “What didn’t I cause? Your rift with Xavier. Asten’s attack. What else? What other suffering shall I bring the Izayges?”

“Leawyn—”

“I have to know,” Leawyn said suddenly, cutting Tristan off. “Do you have feelings for me?”

“Leawyn . . .”

“I need to know, Tristan,” Leawyn said more firmly. “I won’t make the same mistake I did with Asten.”

Tristan’s brow furrowed, looking at Leawyn with sympathy. “Asten wasn’t your fault. You said yourself you didn’t know he was behind everything.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Leawyn said, shaking her head as her eyes clouded over with tears of regret. “I knew about Asten long before the battles. When I was kidnapped, Asten was the one who saved me. He was there before Xavier. And after I found out my tribe was killed . . .” Leawyn trailed off, eyes pained.

“Go on,” Tristan urged her gently.

“When I ran back, he was there. I confronted him about something before I was given to Xavier. He . . .” Leawyn exhaled shakily, swallowing against the sudden lump in her throat. “He admitted he loved me. He . . . kissed me. And I kissed him back.”

Leawyn looked up to Tristan, her gaze watery with regret. “Don’t you see? I
encouraged
him. Even when I knew in my heart I didn’t
truly
want him. I was scared . . . because I wanted Xavier. I think I knew I falling in love with him, but I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t
want
to feel that way. He terrified me. He abused me, yet . . .” Leawyn’s fists clenched, her neck flushing with anger. “Xavier didn’t deserve my love, yet my body craved him and my heart called out for him.”

“Leawyn,” Tristan whispered, stepping forward and wrapping her in his arms, even when she tried to resist. “You can’t blame yourself for that. You don’t have to explain your heart to anyone except to the person it beats for. We don’t get to choose that. Our heart chooses for us.”

“I saw the way everyone looked at me. Even you,” Leawyn looked up at Tristan when he wiped a tear away with his thumb. “I saw the pity in their eyes. They looked at me as if I were broken.” “You were afraid they would look at you differently when they knew how you started to feel,” Tristan stated gently.

“Sometimes, I wished to die,” Leawyn said in a wistful tone. “It would’ve been so much easier to just cease existing. My life was full of pain, despair, and heartbreak. There were times when it got too hard to keep going . . . to keep fighting. To live.”

Leawyn pulled away, and Tristan watched her as she turned away from him. She turned and faced him again. Tristan swallowed, his throat dry at the emotion in her crying eyes.

“I wished to die, but then I would think of him. Of the way he looked at me when he thought I didn’t notice. He looked at me like an orphaned boy. Strong, yet yearning for the thing forbidden to him—love. That was the moment I knew . . . I had to keep fighting for
us
. Xavier couldn’t love, so I had to do it for the both of us.”

“I don’t love you,” Tristan said suddenly. “I care for you, but I don’t love you. You must understand, it was just me and Xavier for the longest time. We
were
orphans. But then you come along, and it’s like he just . . . woke up.” Tristan gave Leawyn a small smile, and Leawyn’s heart broke a little at the pain hidden there. “I was jealous, I think. Of him. Of you . . . Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

Leawyn nodded. She did understand. The rift between Xavier and Tristan was to do with her, in part, but it wasn’t because of Tristan’s hidden romantic feelings for her. Tristan had realized he was just as lost as Xavier was before he married Leawyn. Now, Tristan was just as lost, and even more alone.

“I understand why Xavier didn’t want you to tell me. I would have given you away.” Leawyn sighed, turning away from him once again. “Even so . . . I need time. I don’t think I can be around you.”

“What are you saying?”

Leawyn’s shoulders slumped, and Tristan had to stop himself from rubbing his chest from the pain that suddenly appeared there at the look Leawyn gave him.

“I want you to leave. “

“How—” Tristan cleared his throat, emotional. “How long?”

Leawyn didn’t answer right away, studying him. “I think you’ll know when you’re ready to come back.”

Tristan kept eye contact with Leawyn, and she could see her unspoken message was heavy in his heart. Though Leawyn needed time away from him, she was also giving him an out. Tristan needed time away from Xavier and Leawyn. Tristan didn’t know how to be anything other than the Xavier and Tristan duo.

He had lost himself.

Xavier found his home in Leawyn, and now Tristan needed time to learn how to be his own person.

“Thank you.” Tristan’s voice was barely audible.

“Of course,” Leawyn said softly, her look gentle. “I’ll make sure Tyronian knows what you did, that you didn’t really betray us. I’ll make sure
everyone
knows.”

Tristan brushed a tendril behind Leawyn’s ear, cupping her cheek and smiling at her softly. “You truly are the most beautiful girl in the land, Leawyn. Inside and out.” He kissed her cheek and pulled back and started to walk away. Leawyn watched him go for a moment. She stood up straight, a thought appearing to her.

“Tristan!”

Tristan looked back, expectant.

“There was a girl. Woman, really. She had a scar on her face, and she was . . . different. She warned me of the attack, and she helped me escape when . . .” Leawyn shrugged. “I never got to thank her.”

“What’s her name?”

“I don’t know it.” Leawyn grinned and Tristan barked out a laugh.

“I’ll ask her myself, then.” Tristan waved at Leawyn, and she watched as his form disappeared into the distance.

Come back to us soon, Tristan.
Leawyn thought sadly. She heaved a heavy sigh and turned away to get back to work.