How to Be a Great Lover (15 page)

• Hold the end of his penis under your nose, keeping your chin in contact with the shaft to stabilize the stroke.
  
• Gently use your supporting hand, which is holding the shaft, to flex the head of the penis away so you have enough room for a nice full tongue stroke, about one-
  
• As a bonus, use your hand to do a half Pirouette stroke (see Chapter 6) on the shaft.
  

  LOOK HIM IN THE EYE
  

  Another secret to incredible oral sex is to make eye contact with him from time to time, provided there is enough light to do so. After all, ladies, you're not there alone. By looking up at your lover occasionally, you're allowing him to see the pleasure you derive out of pleasing him. This is also another way of letting him know that you are not only enjoying what you're doing (which will completely turn him on) but that you are in total control, which will make him relax and feel safe.
  

  THE GREATEST GIFT:
  

  PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
  

  

  If you put the steps together, it should look like this:
  

  1. Use your hands to form The Seal and The Ring.
     
  2. Move your mouth up and down the length of his shaft, while maintaining a comfortable level of suction. Meanwhile, use the hand attached to your mouth for the up and half inch.
     
• Stroke rapidly crossways across his frenulum with the soft, hot underside of your tongue.
  

  Forming The Seal and The Ring
  

  down motion and twisting.
  

  

  1. Let your free hand roam the rest of his body
     
  2. Look him in the eye.
     

     VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE
     

     There are other things you can do to add diversity to the experience of taking him in your mouth.
     

     Moving up and down the shaft . . . while twisting
     

     Tricks with Mints
     

     Suck on a strong mint such as an Altoid, a Halls menthol drop or a Nice cough drop. Once the mint has begun to dissolve, begin to suck on him. This provides a tingling sensation that many men truly enjoy. Let the mint partially melt in your mouth for two reasons: 1) your mouth will be better coated, and 2) the mint will be smaller and easier to tuck into the side of your mouth. Otherwise you'll be concentrating on mint location, not him.
     

     Tongue Magic and Lower Tongue Magic
     

     Minding the Stepchildren (Tea Bagging)
     

     The Hummer
     

     Another form of tingle, often referred to as a "Hummer," is just what it sounds like. After taking his penis into your mouth begin a low, vibrating hum. To get an idea of how this feels, once again put your fingers in your mouth and softly moan. As von change pitches the vibration changes, and the most intense vibration is at the front, not the back, of your mouth, where the dens est tissue is located. As one woman told me, she can be reciting her grocery list and he wouldn't care—he loves the sensation.
     

     Hot/Cold Shift
     

  1. Keep your tongue in constant motion, moving
     

     occasionally to Tongue Magic and The Big W
     

  2. Don't forget to Mind the Stepchildren, whether you do so with your hands or mouth.
     

  Some women have expressed that their men prefer a chilled sensation over a tingly one. The next time you have his penis iii your mouth, try moving a few pieces of crushed ice around while giving him a tongue massage and see how he likes it. A variation on that theme, which can be equally erotic for some men, is to heat up your mouth before having him enter it. Take a sip of hot coffee or tea, swirl it around before swallowing and then guide *his penis into your mouth, remembering to keep your tongue in motion at all times. Your morning coffee will never be the same „ again. Or, with one hand or your mouth on his penis, stroke an ice cube gently underneath his testicles over the perineal area. Be sure to hold the ice cube in a tissue, as you can control it better. It will also absorb any melting. Don't remain in any one place for too long; your aim is not to numb him.
  

  TIPS
  

• It won't take long to discover that the secret to giving great head is to find your "rhythm," and that rhythm can and will change with each partner, depending on his specific likes and dislikes. What will ensure your success with every encounter is to remember the four different motions you use whenever performing oral sex. When and how you use them will depend on your rhythm, but the motions themselves are always the same.
  
• The soft palate at the back of your throat is very slippery and has lots of give, unless you are suffering from a case of dry mouth. This can happen when you've consumed a lot of alcohol or salt or are not properly hydrated. It is always a good idea to keep a glass of water by the side of the bed, just in case.
  
• Once you have reached your comfort level of insertion, allow the penis to stay there for a short time so that you become accustomed to the feeling. Your palate has a good memory. The next time he enters your mouth, you will be able to take him at least as far down as you did during your previous encounter. With a little practice and patience, you'll be able to take him farther each time you try. This, again, is only applicable if you desire to do so. Linda Lovelace is not the role model for all women.
  
• When sucking, it's best to use short, intense bursts, rather than constant, long vacuuming, which concentrates too much suction on the head.
  
• Some men who are circumcised love attention to the scar tissue area; one woman quoted her husband as saying, "I thank my parents everyday for having me circumcised. I just love it when you run your tongue around the track."
  
• Careful about your dental work and teeth—when performing oral sex. As one woman reported, "I didn't know until the damage was done that I had lacerated my husband's penis with a sharp edge of a new crown."
  

With these tips, your oral sex experiences are always going to be pleasurable. And though I've said this before, I think it bears repeating once again: the joy you derive out of pleasing him is worth weight in gold—of that there is no doubt. But knowing you alone possess the ability to deliver it is likely to do more to reflect you power as a woman than anything you can even imagine.

Like all sex, the key to great oral sex is communication— be open to what your partner feels and desires. Men can help you determine what feels best for them, so try not to be afraid to ask your partner to describe what he likes. And remember, when you go down on your man, it is an expression of ultimate intimacy.

Chapter Eight

The Outer Limits

ONLY FOR THE SEXUALLY ADVENTUROUS

"When I experienced the benefits of my girlfriend's firsthand knowledge of these techniques, it was the happiest moment of my young life. Suddenly colors were more vibrant, food tasted better, and everything became more vivid. They can't take that away from me. I felt like I had stuck my finger in an electrical socket."

MALE SEMINAR ATTENDEE, NOVELIST, AGE 40B

Back Door Misconceptions

I must admit when Bryan of Ode to Bryan fame first told me about the things to do to a man that are in this chapter my reaction was "You've got to be kidding, there is NO WAY!" His calm response was "Listen, men love this. And because there are so few women who know about it much less do it, you will surprise him beyond belief." He was right. What he was talking about was anal play, manual and oral.

There are those who will feel this is the goldmine chapter and others for whom it is a foreign country they will never visit. This chapter discusses practices women typically enjoy and progressively add to their sexual "wardrobe" once they are either more comfortable with sex in general, or more comfortable in their relationship. From the most practical of standpoints, you need to understand that the anus is one of the most highly sensitive areas of our bodies.

There are also a lot of misconceptions surrounding anal sex. One of the biggest is its association with homosexuality: while many gay men are indeed familiar with the pleasures of anal sex I have learned through my research that many straight men enjoy anal play. So please, try to resist that outdated stigma. As a female real estate broker from Los Angeles attested, "My boyfriend lull me he had never felt anything like it. Not only was the sensation unbelievable, but the mere fact that I was doing this to him made it even hotter. He said he saw stars it was so good."

Another woman told me, "We'd gotten into a rut in our lives and wanted to get back some of the magic we'd had before We're married, so trying new partners isn't an option and when we talked about what we'd consider, both of us were surprised how much we'd like to try anal things. Just goes to show, you don't know 'til you ask."

Some women also enjoy anal play. In some cases, women, for cultural or religious reasons, actually prefer anal intercourse. They don't have to worry about pregnancy and they can maintain their religious standards and preserve their virginity prior to marriage In addition, let it be known that one's openness and comfort level with this, or any other sexual idea, has nothing to do will one's skill or prowess. So don't let someone try to tell you "If you were more open, less (whatever), you would do this.” This hackneyed attitude mimics that high school pressure technique, "If you loved me you'd. . . ." I might suggest ladies, that a man says this, you tell him, "Gentlemen request—they do not pressure, and those gentlemen typically get what they want."