Read How to Be a Rock Star's Ex-Girlfriend Online
Authors: Kelly Hurley
“Hey, don’t get so defensive! It’s fine that you called him. But are you really sure that you want to go out? You could call him back, you know.”
“No, I’ve made up my mind. This is what I want. We’re going to go out and have a fantastic time. Okay?”
“Okay. I’ll go get my gray shoes.”
I knew that Cara wasn’t completely sure that this was what was right for me, but I wasn’t about to be deterred. I had a plan to move on, and I was going to make sure I followed through.
Decked out in my fabulous outfit, I strutted around Shaken, making the rounds, checking out the scenery, eyeing all the eligible young men in the room. I was determined to flirt with as many people as possible tonight. I was channeling my inner Cara!
My first victim of the night was a short, dark, and handsome football player who was a great dancer. I had him buy me a drink, and then excused myself to find Cara. I was a little tired of hearing about how good he was at scoring!
Next I talked to a quietly attractive second grade teacher. He was definitely a sweetie, but the old Ava was out in full force and she wasn’t about to settle for a nice guy.
I floated from one guy to the next, never staying for more then ten minutes, always moving on to the next cute guy. By the end of the night, I had gotten two phone numbers and four or five free drinks. Not a bad haul.
Cara and I discussed my options at the all night diner over chocolate cream pie and French fries. Should I start dating again or wait awhile? I knew I wasn’t willing to get serious about anyone, but did I want to juggle a few guys or casually date just one? Who knew if that was even possible!
“Ava, I really think that if you’re really serious about getting over Braden, you need to at least try to go on a date with someone! Or else you’re just going to keep thinking about him.”
“Yeah, well, maybe. I could call that football player. What do you think? He was really cute!”
“He was hot! And he seemed like a nice guy, but not too nice!” Cara knew exactly what I was thinking!
“Maybe I’ll call him next week. For now just pass me the fries.”
And when I woke up the next morning, Braden wasn’t the first thing I thought of. I realized that I just might make it. There was still a dull ache where he used to be, but I could see around it. There were other things, other people, other guys, who would come to mean as much to me as he had. At least I hoped so.
With a little nudging from Cara, I ended up calling the football player the next week. We both felt that it was an important step in my post-Braden rehab, like Braden Anonymous. We were constantly adding steps or taking them away as needed. One day Cara decided that I was not allowed to say Braden’s name. It was supposed to make me think about him less or something. Cara had to take the rule away when she realized that if I couldn’t talk about Braden, she couldn’t talk about Dylan either. They were too closely associated.
“How do you get over someone?” I asked Cara one day during our lunch break. We had met at the food court for a quick visit.
“Well, you know me! I normally don’t need to get over anyone. I’m usually the one that moves on first.” This was definitely true. “But there was that one guy, the one with the girlfriend. Remember him, Micah?”
“Mmm, yeah, he was hot.” Our eyes met over the fast food, and we both took a moment of silence while we remembered Micah. “Whatever happened with him? You were crazy about him! When he came into the café, you got all nervous.”
“He was always going on and on about how he never cheated on his girlfriend, and how he just thought I was so wonderful that he couldn’t help himself. I’m sure I was just infatuated with the idea of someone that I couldn’t have.” She stopped to take a sip from her pop. “So, one day I stop over at his house, this was after we had quit seeing each other, but I needed to grab a sweater that I’d left there. His roommate answered the door and proceeds to shush me because Micah is in the bedroom with some Robin girl! After everything he had told me about his fidelity, I was totally turned off!”
“That’ll do it. What an ass. Too bad that won’t work for me. I don’t think I could stand to even walk into an apartment if Braden was in it, let alone one that held him and a new girl. Do you know if he’s seeing anyone?” I threw the question out casually, like I had just thought of it, when the truth was that I had been wondering about that very thing for awhile.
“Ava, do you really want to know?” Cara looked at my uncertainly. When I nodded, she continued. “No. Of course he’s not. Dylan told me that he has chicks throwing themselves all over him whenever they do a show, but he’s not even close to being over you. Maybe you should call him.”
“I don’t think so. Besides, you’re supposed to be helping me get over him. Remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.” There was something in Cara’s look that made me think that she wasn’t quite sure we were doing the right thing.
It was during one of our many gossip sessions that I came up with the ultimate single girl rule. It wasn’t anything earth shattering, I just put a name to something that all women do.
I call it the ‘One Flaw’ rule. Each guy that you date has to have one flaw, something that would stop you from ever taking it to the next level. I’m not talking about something silly, like the wrong hair color or the wrong car. Those are things that you can accept and get over. I’m talking about major things, like stupidity and personality disorders.
I’ve run my theory by many women, and as soon as they hear about it, they start naming off all the men they’ve dated that fall into that category. For one girl it was a guy that told her flat out that
if they stayed together and became serious, she would have to have his children, no matter what. He even threatened to poke holes in condoms or steal birth control if it became necessary. In my mind, that was a major flaw. That’s not exactly the kind of thing you want to hear from a guy you just started dating. Another story I heard was about a guy who was obsessed with NASCAR. Every aspect of his life was ruled by what was happening on the race track. He couldn’t make plans on certain days because he wanted to sit in front of the TV watching the cars go around and around. He wore a NASCAR jacket, has NASCAR bumper stickers and posters, and even talked about the drivers like they were his best friends. “But he was really cute!” the girl told me!
I am the queen of the ‘One Flaw’ rule. I know that I followed it through high school and college. That was probably a major reason why I was never with a guy for more then a month or two. But after Braden and I broke up, I perfected it.
The football player was the first to fall into the guidelines. His name was Andrew, and he was beautiful. Just looking at him made you want to do all sorts of naughty things to him! He worked out all the time, and it definitely showed. The problem with him was that he was incredibly stupid. We couldn’t carry on a conversation. Most of our phone calls went something like this, “Hey, Ava! What’s up?” And I would reply with whatever I was doing that day or what I had already done and then ask him what he wanted to do that night. At that point he would usually say he didn’t care and then ask me what was up again! When we were out, I would find myself wishing that he would keep his mouth shut so I could just look at him. I mean, how many times can you listen to a guy talk about how much he can bench press or how he knocked himself unconscious three times in one day while snow boarding! I think that I stayed with him as long as I did, two whole months, because I knew how good we looked together.
After that debacle, I decided that I really shouldn’t focus so much on looks, but try to find a guy with a great personality. That’s when I started seeing Kyle. I explained to him up front that I wasn’t ready for a relationship; I just wanted to find someone to hang out with, a guy that I could be friends with, and maybe something more would come from that.
Everything was great, at first. We had a lot in common, like the same taste in movies and restaurants, and he got along really well with Cara and Sophie.
By this time, Sophie and I were slowly getting back to normal. It was taking some time, but Cara wouldn’t stop until we were friends again. She made sure the three of us had lunch at least once a week. At first we didn’t really have much to say to each other, but you really can’t fight thirteen years of friendship. I knew that it wouldn’t ever be exactly the same, we had the Braden thing between us now, and Sophie was married, adding another weird element. Cara and I were still very single, but we listened patiently to Sophie’s tales of marital bliss. She never went out at night with us anymore, Mark wouldn’t go for that, but at least we were talking again.
Cara had somehow talked me into going out for brunch one Sunday morning with Sophie and Mark, so I figured I would bring Kyle along as a buffer. Mark had never even known that there was a problem between Sophie and me, what would we have told him? I thought that the best possible scenario would be for all of us to bring dates, that way, hopefully, the guys would be able to talk about ‘boy’ things without noticing the slight tension that still came up from time to time.
Anyway, the brunch was a huge success. Kyle and Mark got along great, and Cara’s date, Will the waiter again, was a riot. He was cracking jokes throughout the meal; we were all dying with laughter! The only awkward moment came at the end of the meal when we were all saying goodbye. Sophie was telling Kyle how nice it was to meet him, when he started talking about how she had to help him convince me that we were meant to be together, that we should be an exclusive couple, etc. I brushed it off at the time, thinking that
he was just trying to make conversation and prove to my friends how much he liked me. Unfortunately, that was not the case.
Over the next few weeks it became evident that Kyle had been dead serious when he told Sophie he wanted us to be a ‘real’ couple, instead of just dating casually. Whenever I had plans with Cara, he tried to get me to stay home with him. I’d invite him to come along, but he rarely did. He wanted it to be just us, he said. One night, when we were watching a movie at my apartment, he leaned over and whispered “I love you.” in my ear. We had been out on a total of five dates! What was he talking about? I did the only thing I could think of, I pretended that I didn’t hear him! It was after that happened that I realized who Kyle was, he was the needy guy. On the surface he seemed great, but the truth was that he wanted a girlfriend, someone to cuddle, pamper, and spend every moment possible with. So much for my idea that personality would be better then fantastic good looks.
We went out one more time before I couldn’t take it anymore. I tried to break it to him gently, but he didn’t take it very well. At one point he even started crying! He seemed to be totally delusional about our entire relationship, or lack thereof. He went on and on about how he wanted us to double date with his best friend, to go meet his family, and even go away for a weekend together! I reminded him what I had said at the beginning, how I wasn’t ready for any of that. Obviously he was suffering from the great male disease Selective Memory Disorder! They only hear and remember what they want to.
Once again I was forced to modify my idea of the perfect date. The best possible thing for me to do was swear off men forever. Or at least a few months!
For a while I did just that. I still went out with Cara once a week, but I stopped taking phone numbers or giving mine out. I’d laugh with Cara over our drinks, knowing that the club was filled with ‘one flaw’ guys, just waiting for us to make the first move!
I was lucky to have my job to distract me during this self-imposed celibacy. My training had been going really well, but since I had no desire to move at the moment, I couldn’t get a promotion. Then, about three weeks into my date-free life, my manger came to me and gave me the good news. She was getting married!
While I congratulated her on her upcoming nuptials, I wondered what that would mean for me. I knew that Deeann’s fiancé lived in Iowa or something like that. Maybe she would be moving.
That’s exactly what she was trying to tell me. She had put in her notice and also her recommendation for a new store manager. Me! I was totally flattered and extremely excited. This was what I had been working for. I accepted the job offer on the spot and got ready to take over the managing of the store.
I threw myself into the job, changing a few things out on the floor and in the office, but keeping things running smoothly for the most part. There are always bumps when the person in charge leaves and someone else steps in. The only real issue was finding someone to fill my old position. I hoped to take care of that soon.
All the extra responsibilities kept me busy and happy to be single. I didn’t have to worry about some guy waiting for me at home while I worked late some nights, or getting annoyed with my constant talking about new books, new layouts, and new employees. Cara had to listen to all that stuff, she was my best friend!
Inevitably, the newness of the job wore off, and I fell into the routine of management. I enjoyed it, but I felt like I was ready to take on another project. A new guy, perhaps? I had just turned twenty-four and fall was right around the corner. It seemed like the perfect time for a change.
With that in mind, I asked some of my female coworkers to fix me up. Under normal circumstances, I would never resort to such drastic measures, but the last two guys were such duds that I had to try something else.
My blind date’s name was Chris. And believe me; he was just as bad as the two guys that I had found on my own. He was dull, and it was quite possibly the lamest date that I had ever been on. All the way through dinner he talked about his ex, who, understandably, cheated on him and broke his heart. I tried to be sympathetic and act like I was listening, but the fourth time he mentioned the way she liked or did something, I had had enough. I was bored out of my mind. I silently thought of how I was going to kill the girl at work that had talked me into meeting him.
His only redeeming quality was that after dinner, he took me to Shaken. There we met up with friends and actually started to have a good time. This was due mostly to the fact that I ignored my date and focused my attention on Chris’s best friend, Peter.