How to Knock a Bravebird from Her Perch : The First Novel in the Morrow Girls Series (9780985751616) (8 page)

“Well, it’ll be nice.”

“Don’t let me stop you.” He yanked the covers up. “Just don’t go thinking you gonna make a habit of it. If I wanted somebody that was gonna be running out to the clubs I wouldn’tve married you. And don’t go thinking you like all them girls you see shaking they asses on the dance floor.”

“Course not.”

“What?” He snapped, sensing the tiniest bit of sarcasm in my voice. “What you say?”
 

I ain’t answer fast enough because he pushed me so hard I rolled right off the bed and hit my head on the nightstand. Not hard enough to draw blood but the tears came anyway. I ain’t want him to see so I tried to keep my head down.

“You crying? You ain’t gotta be crying. You wouldn’t be crying if you knew how to show a little bit of gratitude. Instead of trying to be smart.”

“I’m not.”

“You what? What you say?”

“I said I’m not!”

He ain’t say anything else, just looked down at me over the edge of the bed. We’d gotten so good at it, he ain’t even need to say nothing for me to get the warning. So, I got up. Careful to not look him in the eye because that usually got him more riled up.

“You done got Auntie all worried about you, poor Pecan. Ain’t nothing wrong with you. But go on and go out with your friends, just don’t go losing your mind.” I nodded and took the covers in one hand. “What you doing? Ain’t you got something to say?”

I was getting back in bed. I ain’t think that needed explaining. But when he snatched the covers outta my hand and moved onto my side of the bed every bit of my body said to move back. Move back. Away. Move away. So, I stood against the closet and watched as he got comfortable. Real comfortable.
 

“Where I’m supposed to sleep?”

“Look like I care? Since you don’t appreciate what I do for you, maybe you should sleep your ass outside.”

My mouth dropped open. It was forty degrees outside so he couldn’t of meant it, I told myself. He was just trying to make a point. “I’m sorry...sorry I ain’t appreciate you.”

“And don’t you go running to Auntie, talking about I’m being mean to you. I don’t wanna hear it! What’s between a man and wife, stay between that man and that wife. Here.” He tossed me a pillow. “Sleep on the floor. It’s good for you.”
 

The floor was cold and hard but it was better than outside. And knowing Ricky, he wanted me to think there was all kinds of things waiting in the dark outside. Wanted me to see the favor he was doing for me. To know that he loved me so much he gave me the floor.

I
HAD
EVERYTHING
LAID
out neatly on the bed. Stockings...my newest dress...my best shoes. I had gone back and forth a few times on the outfit. It was like I’d been waiting for this my whole life, like I hadn’t been anywhere ever. It ain’t make sense. One night. Just one night of freedom and I damn near lost my mind.

“Let me do it.”

“No! You don’t know what you’re doing!” Nikki grabbed the make-up pencil right outta Jackie’s hand, starting World War Three. “You too little!”

Three words I knew Jackie hated. But wasn’t anything I could do about it. It was Nikki’s brand new mantra when it came to her little sister. Clara said they couldn’t help it. That they were destined to get on each other’s nerves. Said most folks would’ve thought it would’ve been Jackie and Mya going at it all the time because they were so close in age, but Mya ain’t like no parts of any kinda drama so that messed up the true order of things.
 

“LET ME DO IT! I’M GONNA MAKE MAMA PRETTY!”

Jackie ain’t know anything about make-up. Hell she couldn’t have because I’d just learned a little bit about it myself. I hadn’t gotten as far as some girls with using a bunch of color. I ain’t wanna over-do it and look like a fool. Anyway, just looking at my dress was enough to make me blush. Aunt Clara picked it out. She said I was letting all my God-given gifts go to waste. That there wasn’t no shame in a girl being proud of being a girl. Then she marched right up to the salesgirl and made me buy it. Deep dark red like blood. Shorter than anything I ever had. I was wearing stockings with it because I felt so naked.

“Let-Let me go!” Nikki fell off the bed with Jackie clinging to her back like a chimpanzee or something. “Mama, get her off of me!”

“Nikki stop fighting with your sister. She just a little girl.”

“She the one on top of me!”

They rolled one way then the other. I had to get out the way fast or they would’ve rolled right over my feet. Nikki was all outta breath but Jackie couldn’t stop laughing. She was having the time of her life.

“Okay. I’m ready.” I announced to the whole family a little while later. They were all crowded in front of the TV set.

“Oooo, chile. Turn around. Turn around.” Clara demanded. I spun around in a circle, feeling like a princess. “Now that is a dress!”

“Yeah?”

“Girrrl.”

“Mama, you look real pretty!”

And I did. I was sure I did. I found a picture of Diana Ross and copied her hair real good. Even went out and bought some cheap earrings that looked like hers. I could’ve passed for one of them girls who was always up to the latest fashions. Well...probably. Ricky looked me up and down with big snoopy dog eyes. He was eating a bowl of rice and a chicken leg. He stopped with the meat hanging just shy of his tongue.

“What time Helen coming to get you? She better hurry it up or else you gone be busy.” Clara smirked, seeing exactly what I saw. “Ricky. Give Pecan some money so she can get herself something to drink.”

He handed me a five dollar bill. He was just dying to ask if I was going to be drinking something other than a Shirley Temple but he was too set on giving me the silent treatment.
 

“Thanks.”

“Mama, I’m gonna go with you.”

Clara sighed and repositioned herself in her chair. She was getting real tired of Jackie’s hard-headedness. But all I could think was nobody was going to tell my baby she couldn’t have what she wanted. Nobody was ever gonna make her do something she ain’t wanna do.
 

Helen’s horn beeped and butterflies went up and down my arms before going to town in my belly.
 

“Ready?” Helen asked as I squeezed in the back seat of her itty bitty car. Paula was already snapped into the passenger seat.

“Ready.”

T
HE
S
MOKE
WEIGHED
A
ton. It pressed down on our chests, squeezing between us and our sweat. Everywhere I turned folks was just plain old having a good time. And the drinks just kept coming. They came outta nowhere. I’d blink and Helen was handing me another one. They were cold and sweet, the only salvation in the steamy hot club, so I sucked them all down, one by one. After a while Paula dragged me into the washroom. The door swung open and closed in one creaky, swift motion. The three stalls were already taken. The blue paint on their doors was in definite need of a touch up but it’d been long forgotten by somebody.

“Pecan! Girl, you hear me?”

I was sure I did. I think I nodded.

“Oooo, she done had enough!” Another voice said from somewheres up high. I know because I started looking for it and all I saw was the light flickering over my head.

“Pecan!”

The door to one of the stalls opened and I got to see just how tight it was. Got to see up close and personal like. Diana Ross was the last thing on my mind as I fell to my knees in front of the toilet. Paula helped me to my feet and somebody splashed some water in my face. About a minute later it all came clear. The voice from up high was Helen. She was wiping my face like I was a baby who’d just spit up. Don’t know why but it was all of a sudden so funny. So funny I couldn’t stand up straight.
 

“Girrl, what’re we gonna do with you?”

Next thing I knew we were all laughing so hard girls were giving us the evil eye for taking up so much precious space in the washroom.
 

“You the only girl I know who wait until she married with four kids to go out and party!” Helen stood up against the door, holding it open so we could make our exit. “I guess we gotta keep an eye on you, huh?”

As soon as she said it some guy came over and swept her off to the dance floor. Helen wasn’t the girl to turn any man down. She’d dance with anybody because of the idea that you never know who Prince Charming is gonna be. Me and Paula made our way to a part of the room that wasn’t so crowded, a dark corner off of the dance floor. The air tasted a bit salty over there.

“I didn’t think Ricky was gonna let you come out.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t think Ricky was gonna let you come out!”

I pointed to my ear like I couldn’t hear her and went back to sucking the life outta my Shirley Temple. Last thing I wanted to talk about on my night of freedom was him. I ain’t even wanna talk about my kids. I was all set to pretend like I didn’t even have them. That’s when I saw him. Slender and graceful like a deer or something, he came through the crowd and I must have gasped because Paula looked at me then looked at him and back at me. “You know him?”

“No.” I tried not to look directly at him but he was getting closer so it was getting harder not to see him.

“Well, he looking at you like he knows you.”

The thought made me smile. Wasn’t right but it did. Some man I ain’t know wanted to get familiar with me. He stood in front of me saying nice things but I knew what he was really saying. I should’ve gotten mad, maybe I should’ve slapped him. But I danced with him instead. He wasn’t a bad dancer but he wasn’t a good one neither. Not that it mattered. He spent more time trying to strike up a conversation than he did trying to keeping on beat. But I ain’t mind. He had real solid eyes, like rocks, like real solid rocks. He knew stuff. I could just tell he knew stuff. Stuff that I was dying to know. He asked me if I paid attention to politics and what I thought of this actor that thought he could be president. He must have been nervous because he ain’t wait for me to answer before rattling on about some debate. His long bony fingers slid down my back and I forbid the smile that was just itching to show itself.
 

“You’re a good dancer.” The rock eyes said. “What’s your name, dancing queen?” He grinned and I could see that one of his front teeth was shorter than the others, not that I cared enough to think on it too long.
 

“Pecan.”

“Pecan? What kinda name is that? Your people named you after a nut?”

Smart and funny. It took me a second to wrap my head around that. “Belinda. Nobody really calls me that but...that’s my name.”

“People call me Heziah.”

“Hezikiah? Like in the bible?”

“No, Heziah. Like…without the k.”

The music slowed down and Heziah pulled me in. He held me soft like, like he was dancing with a loaf of bread and he ain’t wanna squish it. Like I was precious. By the end of the second song, I ain’t wanna leave. I was dying to be squished. I kept hoping that somebody would bump into us and close the gap but it never happened. Was probably best, though. What I need with some man treating me like that? Some gentle man who ain’t know how to dance?
 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Soon as I said it, I knew it was a lie. A straight out lie. That’s when I saw him. Outta the corner of my eye. He was dancing like a grown man with nasty things on his mind. Dancing with some chick that wasn’t his wife. I knew his wife.

“Who’s that?” Heziah asked, looking where I was looking.

“My neighbor.”

“Oh.”

“He got a wife and that ain’t her. Got a wife and two kids.”

“That bothers you, huh? A married man dancing with a woman?” Heziah’s grin came back, this time threatening to turn into fun for the both of us. “Guess you think married people aren’t supposed to be dancing with people they’re not married to, huh?” His hold on my hand shifted until he was mostly holding on to one of my fingers. The one with my wedding ring on it. “Is that right, Belinda?”

“I guess.”

“Maybe it’s innocent. Maybe she’s just his friend.”